AFTERLIFE- chapter 5

AFTERLIFE

chapter 5 

5

Something just didn’t feel right. Not at all! Her senses were on high alert.  Too bad there were no receptors for the feed she was getting.  Something was coming in loud and clear- and she had no idea what the fuck was happening. Humans were so ill equipped. For the tenth time, Lisa turned and looked. Might as well use the sensory organs she did have.  Didn’t do her much good though.  This was not about seeing.  More about feeling. 

Hot..cold...eyes of fire on her skin...Invisible pellets of ice battering her nerves. Followed by a blowtorch going off triggering an atomic meltdown. Mushroom cloud and ice age- in quick interchange. How the hell could she adapt to all this? 

Something was about to happen.  If this was a movie, for sure the camera was about to zoom in on the meteor about to smash her to smithereens.  If she turned real quick again, she’d catch it...this time.  Again- nothing.  Lisa took another deep breath.  Great, she was getting fucking paranoid.

“Lise- what?”  

And she was also damn obvious.  Once again, Lockwood was probably thanking his lucky gods to be married to such a model of mental health. 

“Yeah, Mom- you afraid the photographers we saw earlier will just pop up? You’ve been antsy.”

Great, her oldest also looked at her as if she was several fries short of a Happy Meal.  Photographers?  Hm...maybe Riley was correct.  Maybe they had been unnerving her.  

No, that wasn’t it. They seemed uninterested enough.  One or two pics had been taken of them earlier, but overall, everything had been very chill.  She still didn’t fully know why she had accepted this invite. Knowing...

No, not knowing...suspecting.

Another chill.

Stop, it, stupid! No reason to go apeshit. He’s not here. And even if he was expected... When did he ever do anything others expected of him?  At worst he’ll show up eight hours late and you be long gone by then.  And they can’t say you didn’t play ball.  They... The devil... Evil incarnate.  How the fuck did you get stuck in their net, Lisa?  Well, quite purposefully, it turned out.  Great move! Jumped right into the mud with them, didn’t y’a? 

The sudden urge to cleanse herself balled her hands into fists.  Yes, she felt dirty.  But hey- at times you gotta get into the down with the pigs if it meant to save someone’s life. Still, all the noble intent in the world couldn’t protect her visceral reaction. Recalling the smarmy voice turned her stomach.

“Well, Miss Presley, I am aware that you and he have a ..uhum...history. So, why not just pop by and talk to him? I’m sure he’ll be thrilled to have another backer on board.”

And she would have been oh so thrilled to have her knee make contact with his groin. Too bad she was on the phone.  Or maybe it was a blessing. 

“No, Mr. Phillips...I don’t...think...”

“Randy, please...”

“Mister Philipps: I told you I don’t want Michael to know.  I want to remain silent in all of this.  Our history is ...complicated.  He might not be happy to hear I have money tied up in this particular venture.”

“Then, why do you, if you don’t mind me asking?”

Oh, she minded him asking alright.  He gave her serious creeps.  She hated him with a passion- hated what he had done to Michael.  Michael, the strongest person she ever had known.  Reduced to feeling like a slave.  Like some freak to be paraded around. Well, not on her watch. No more standing by thinking the slave auction was oh so wrong while keeping a poker-face and a safe distance.

Michael wouldn’t let her help? Fine. Let him be a stubborn ass.  She didn’t need his guidance. She had figured it all out by herself.  People like Phillips only bowed to one god: money.  And possibly prestige.  Well, she had both.  Years ago, she had sold her major stakes in her father’s company.  Just in case... And now- all her investments had born fruits.  She would use her money to make sure Michael was okay.  He thought she couldn’t help,  but he was oh, so wrong.  Money was always welcome in certain circles of hell.  And money bought him a little break.  A window of time he could use to rebuild.  Had they asked her to sign with her own blood, she would have cared very little.  He was worth it all. She’d do anything...

Anything...anything not to  feel like that. Ever again. Like I had on that day.  I’d rather die than go through that ever again. 

Lisa also was well aware how ruthless people would and could use her love, her heart, her vulnerability.  In days past, she had screamed her pain and her anguish- had allowed all her inner agony to be recorded and be held for ransom. Turned against her as a weapon. Not so much to defeat her own security. It was well known she didn’t give a shit about herself. But against the her major Achilles heels: Michael. And her children. 

Well, not anymore.  No more blinders.  No more little Miss Gullible.  She was prepared.  An open mind. Open eyes. And an arsenal of armor. A regular modern day Joan of Arc.  Hopefully with a slightly better outcome for herself.  

“Mister Philipps, I am the daughter of Elvis Presley. I know a good investment when I see it.  And the fact that Michael and I share a history is secondary to my wish to make a sound investment. And that’s all.”

The armor of ice had to hold.  It was the only chance she had.

“Well, Miss Presley, I admire your business sense.  And don’t you worry, we’ll keep him on the straight and narrow. These shows will happen.  Despite the silly little delay we had.”

Oh, the silly little delay of them almost killing him using that scumbag unethical doctor? A chill raced over her back. Oh yeah.  She knew this tone.  Could only imagine how that whip had been cracked over and over again.

Stay the course, Lisa.  Be strong. Make him think you’re a money hungry bitch with some axe to grind with your ex.  People always think you’re cold and unfeeling anyway- use that talent.

Looking into the mirror while she spoke into the phone, she had squared her shoulders.  

“They will happen a whole lot faster and better if you let him do his thing. He’s done this all his life. Back off and let him do what he does best. Any pressure you put on him will only lead to more delays. And I don’t feel like losing money on this.”

Maybe some reverse psychology would work.

“Don’t worry. He’s being treated with kid gloves.  But I’m sure you realize, he’s being ...eh..difficult at times.  Temperamental.  Those artist types...they don’t care about business deadlines.”

That evil, smarmy laughter again.  Every hair on her body stood up. Motherfucker!

Lisa took a deep breath.

“Well, as I said: I’m the daughter of one of those ‘artist types’- so I know what he needs.  I was also married to him. I know how he operates. And I promise you: if you back off and let him do what he does best, we all stand to win.”

She didn’t like the next cackle Philipps answered with. But hey- in the end he had agreed to lay off Michael. Which was all she had wanted. Even if he did try to schmooze her into being at Sarah’s little gathering for weeks now.  Could she risk going?  What if Michael got suspicious about why she’d be there? If he’d show.... Well, her and Sarah were friends, that was pretty much known. So that was a great cover.  Still..

What? Are you afraid of seeing him? Is that really it, you little coward? 

Seeing Michael? What was so fucking scary about seeing Michael?  Only everything...

Michael...oh God... How he had started to occupy her every minute, every fiber, every thought.  Once again, she had been sucked in.  Utterly and completely. By his light, his need, his heart.  She had told herself to be  careful. But no- no, things were different now.  She was a grown ass woman. With a secure, happy marriage. Two small children. A lifetime of experiences. 

And an ex with the most enigmatic soul.  The most melodic voice. The sharpest mind. Quickest humor. The biggest heart. And the most amazing body, created by magical force to be her redemption and her savior.  Her certain destruction more than once. 

Shit, what was her problem?  Sure, they talked for hours on end. But so what? Friends did that, right?  Then why did his very voice set her body on fire?  Why did she come away with her nerves tingling and her pussy wet?

Habit...conditioning...insanity.

“Are you sure it’s a great idea to talk to him that much?”

Lisa had done her best to ignore the worried look piercing her hear.  Lockwood knew...

“I...I don’t talk to him all that much, really.  And you know...he’s my friend. I wanna be there for him.” She could not even look up at her husband as she uttered the lie.  No, not a lie.  A statement of how things had to be.  A reflection of her choice.  Michael’s life in exchange for her commitment to her life as it was. A life she had chosen eyes open. A mean she had considered her best friend.

“Just be careful, Lise. I don’t wanna lose you...lose us.”

That time she had looked up into Lockwood’s clear eyes. Her resolve strengthening. No- Michael was her past.  Which did not mean she would not be his friend in the present.  But Lockwood, Lucky- he was the father of her babies.  He was her husband. 

Then why does it all feel so fucking wrong, Lisa?

Because she was still messed up. Traumatized from the near death experience.  Difficult to go on when your heart stops, isn’t it? 

“Why would you lose us? I mean- you’re okay with me and Danny, right?”

Lockwood looked down and chewed on that one.  Then, his blue eyes assaulted her as he saw right through her.

“Jackson is no Danny.”

Funny how that seemed to be the one thing the two Michaels could agree on. Probably because it was the absolute truth. How did one compare an innocent pebble to Kryptonite? 

Still...denial was such a powerful, tempting seductress. 

And things had gone just fine. Conversations.  Friendship. Emails. Chats.  Nothing serious. Little  specs of time she started to look forward to.  

Till the lid was blown off the Pandora’s box.  Damn..it started as fun.  Safe enough...they were chatting online. What the fuck could happen?  Just some teasing. Some light flirting.  And before she knew what was what he was on the phone.  The fact that she answered was not even surprising.  The impact of his voice was.  How the fuck had she forgotten its power?  That tone...deep, dark, seductive.  The timbre stroking her in ways no other had ever been able to. Every nerve cell had been on high alert.  Goosebumps had raced up and down her back and arms.  Her nipples hard.  Her pussy flooded.  God- this was so wrong.  And felt so fucking right. 

An errand hand moved toward her lap.  Her thighs rubbed against each other. Hot, sensitive flesh. Turgid, blooming flower of desire.  

A sound, a breezy draft ripped her from the madness.

Lockwood had entered the room, and she had jerked back to reality. Whiplash.  Shame...regret... Not that it happened, mind you. That she didn’t get to reach the finish line. 

What in the fuck had just gone down? How had she fallen so far, so fast?  And where had the parachute disappeared to?

“Lisa? Are you okay?”  Lockwood looking at her as if she had lost her mind. Common place, these days.

She cleared her throat. “Yeah. I ...I think I might be coming down with something. I gotta take a shower...”

Once there, she broke down crying.  How was it possible?  How could she still react to him like that?  Throw every normal, rational consideration into the pyre of her sanity?  For what? Some silly memory? Some automatic reaction?  Damn him!

No, she had to step up.  This was not Michael’s fault. He was simply being himself.  He was single and he was lonely.  And they had both fallen back into bad habits.  Bad habits that felt so fucking good.  Shit! She had to set the boundaries. Maybe she had been unclear.  Had been too available to him. Time to back the fuck off. Way off!  Warp speed ahead, Scottie! Maybe she could outrun the rays of his sun.  And maybe she could stop breathing air while she was at it.

And so, she had not answered his calls or emails for a bit.  A plan sounding simple and easy enough. Right? Hell no! Was the fish happy out of the water?   

As the date of Sarah’s little gathering approached, she got more and more flustered.  Her friend had of course also invited her, not aware that Philipps already requested her presence.  Maybe it would be fun.  She had been in such a horrible funk since the almost phone sex with Mike, she needed something to get her out.  Riley had also just arrived in the UK and kept pushing to go.  

“Please Mom, it will be so cool! Mingling among the royals and all. Mom!!!! Please??? For me???”

Who was she to deny her visiting oldest baby?  God, how easily she lied to herself! She called and had accepted the invitation.

“Oh, splendid! I might have a little surprise for you, then.”

“Sarah- I hate surprises. Please watch what you’re doing to me. I’m not getting any younger. I don’t wanna be hauled off in an ambulance.”

“Oh, rubbish! Of course not. I would tell you, but I don’t want to get your hopes up.  So, just bring yourself and your lovely family- and that beautiful, naughty smile.”

Predictably, they had arrived slightly late.  The twins were cranky, and so Lucky had suggested they go check out the stables before joining the main party. Which was a wonderful idea.  Horses always trumped humans in her book.  And the twins already showed signs of being as crazy about equines as she had always been.

Before long, both girls were giggling and laughing, trying their walking skills, basking in the attention of their adored big sister. Watching her family, Lisa realized she should be filled with joy.  And yet, somehow it all had the sheen of some scene in a movie.  That nightmarish fabric of being both participant and audience. Images lightly contorted as she stared at her loved ones from inside her fishbowl.  

Then the paranoia set in.  On the walk back to the main house, she felt as if someone was watching her.  There was a slight disturbance in the atmosphere. A wrinkle in the fabric of time. Barely noticeable and still there.  Nothing she could put into words. Something taking over all her senses.  Suddenly everything felt fake.  The sun was a bit too bright for a fall day.  The sounds a bit too sharp. What in the fuck was her problem?

It reminded her of that day.  In June. When she had felt off kilter and had been proven right. Could it be? Was it connected to him again?  Was he...”

Almost tripping, Lisa attempted again to steady her breath. 

Get a fucking grip! 

“Ready to head over there, Lisa?”  Lucky reached for her clammy hand and she clung to the warmth like a lifeline.  

“Yeah...sure... Riley- don’t run with Harper- she might just barf all over you!”

“Chill, Lisa.  She’s fine.  Relax, baby- what’s happening?  You seem tense all of a sudden..”

“I don’t know...something is odd.”

Turning, she thought she caught a movement in her peripheral vision.  Was that...? No, Lisa, get real! Great. Now she was seeing things. 

Another couple of steps.  Another glance.

Oh shit! This time she was sure.  There was a man. Walking back toward the stables.

Could it be?

No, Lisa, stop it. Your overactive imagination is going wild. 

Three more steps. She stopped.  One more glance and she was sure.  Her hand slipped from Lockwood’s grasp.

Oh fuck! She’d know that gait anywhere.  Recognize that slender silhouette before any other human being.  Her heart was hopping along in odd little skips. 

“Lisa?” Lucky stopped and, blinking, she turned away from the vision etched into her heart,disappearing from her view. 

Yes, Lisa.  If he is here, he obviously saw you and hauled ass.  It’s the perfect metaphor.  He’s your past. Let him go.  Focus! Lockwood is right here. With your daughters.  Go on.  Follow him.  For heavens sake, just this once, do what makes sense.

Clearing her throat, she bargained for another second. 

“Uhm...I think I dropped something back in the stables...I think I had Harper’s bunny and now I don’t see it... You guys go ahead. I’ll be right there.”

“Her bunny? I think Riley has that.”  Lockwood looked at her with that worried, concerned expression.  Yes, Lisa Marie was taking that turn toward the rubber cell once again. Have the little men in white coats on stand-bye. 

“Uhum...I’m pretty sure I had it back there. So- I’m just gonna run back.  You go ahead before they go into twin mode and start screeching about not being together.”  

Lisa reached up, and grasped for her daughter’s hand, kissing it.  A goodbye to common sense.  

“O....kay.... If you say so.”

“Ri!” On perfect cue, Finley cried for her older sister and Lockwood, shaking his head, marched on.

Lisa watched her lifeline disappear into the fog of reality.  Holding her breath, she hesitated a fraction of a second, before turning back.  Her steps started out slow and marked by hesitation.  Then, some invisible anchor was lifted, and before she knew it, she was in a full out mad dash.  Chasing a ghost.  Hunting an impossible wish.  

Had he seen them? Was that why he had taken off?  

Really, Lisa? Full of yourself, much? Like he has nothing else going on... 

No, he probably saw her and wondered what the hell he had ever seen in her.

Or he saw you with the babies...

A stabbing pain just about ripped her chest open.  She stopped and held her side, taking a deep breath.  There...she had simply been breathing wrong.  

Lisa! What are you doing? Why are you running around like an idiot, chasing your ex around the vast property of a Duchess. If he wanted to talk to you, acknowledge you...he would have.

Unless he was too hurt.  

No- he knew. He knew she was married.  And yet... To know and to see were different things. That’s one topic she was an expert in. She had known he didn’t love Deb. And yet, every time she had been confronted with the fake happy family pics she had driven off to the Center to scream her pain and agony for hours. And still be filled with despair and sadness afterwards. So, what if Michael knew her situation? Would it hurt any less?  If you see the grenade launched at you, does it hurt less when your limbs are ripped from your body? When you lie twitching in your own blood? 

Unless Michael simply wanted to respect her boundaries.  Because he had moved on and didn’t give a shit. 

Well, that’s not what he sounded like when...

She shuddered - this time with an odd stirring in her belly.

Her mind replayed that one crazy conversation. Full of heat. Full of innuendos.  

Full of you almost finishing yourself off while having his voice basically fuck you. 

Where was the delete button for disturbing, yet sexy, memories?

For real, though: she needed to stop taking everything so damn serious. This was Michael.  He loved games. And he loved a good chase.  Had he just hooked her again?  Playing at being hurt and injured only to laugh his ass off at her coming after him like some little well trained puppy? 

Maybe being mad at him would help a bit just now. 

Where the fuck had he gone?  Why did she even bother? Why did she not the only reasonable thing and turn the fuck around?  Follow her husband.  Enjoy her children. 

You know why, LIsa.  You almost lost him.  He was almost ripped from your life. Forever.  If he is here...you gotta see him.  You gotta make sure he’s alright.  That he is well. Touch him and make sure he won’t disappear like a ghost.  Just like you said- to make sure he is somewhere on this planet.  The last unicorn.  The hidden holy grail. 

Arriving at one of the stable buildings Lisa entered and tried to take several breaths. Her eyes adjusted to the dark interior.  This is where she had seen him disappear.  But the only things she spotted were a couple of horses, peacefully munching on hay.

There...that’s all you did, stupid idiot. Got yourself worked up over nothing. He’s long gone.  You know how he is: if he doesn’t want to see or talk to someone he won’t.  I hope you feel like the fucked up loser you are now.

One of the horses interrupted its chewing activity and looked at her with a quizzical expression.   The ears directed forward, focusing all attention on the messed up human that had disturbed the equine serenity. Lisa stepped up and petted the gorgeous bay.

“Hey...Sorry to startle you.  Here you are, just hanging out, enjoying the afternoon, when some messed up broad just busts in on you.”

The beautiful dark eyes softened and the horse stepped up closer, nuzzling Lisa’s hand. 

“Sorry, babe.  I got no treats for you.”

Great...she couldn’t even satisfy a horse these days.  But this was a stable...maybe they had some apples or carrots around here somewhere.  She turned, noticing a small tack room behind her.  

A barely perceptible sound caused her to freeze. The horses ears oriented toward the new stimulation as well. She was not imagining this.  What a comfort! She wasn’t crazy but might be attacked by some deranged stalker.  Oh joy!

Something in the air seemed to shift.  All the hair on her body suddenly stood at attention.  Her breath caught and would not release.

Who’s deranged now?

“Fancy meeting you here, Princess.”

Holy fuck! She almost jumped out of her skin! Motherf...! Her world tilted, suddenly the ground becoming very fluid.  Feeling like swaying on the rough sea, Lisa reached out and grabbed the edged of the stall door. 

Was she really surprised?  Her alarm had gone off in the most reliable way.

That voice...oh God...the things the mere melodic sound did to her. She was almost afraid to turn. What if it was only her imagination?  What if he wasn’t real? Maybe her equine friend shared her hallucination? 

No, the air pushed toward her and she sensed him standing very close to her.  How did he do that? How did his very presence suck up all the oxygen, leaving her gasping for air like a flopping goldfish.  Yeah, hadn’t she just thought about a fishbowl and looking out? Well, some joker had spilled her safety and security and turned everything upside down. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Okay, Miss Tough-shit....Where is your strong side now?  

Her mouth opened to say something.  Nothing came out.  She attempted to clear her throat.  Nothing...

Ever so slowly, she turned.  Forcing herself to steady her breath.  Closing her eyes until she almost faced him.  One hand remained on the horse box.

“Hey...” Well... it was a sound.  Something of a cross between a frog and some demon. 

His head tilted and he smiled...

Michael.  Here. In front of her.  Looking so splendidly... Words failed her.  Alive?  Gorgeous?  Dressed in dark jeans and a fitted, gorgeous jacket. Looking ...amazing.  She couldn’t see his eyes as he wore shades, but other than seeming thinner, he didn’t look like a man who just beat death a couple of months ago.

“Cat got your tongue? Or horse?”  He stepped over and petted the horse, bringing himself closer to her.  

“No- exhusband. Damn...I...yeah....you did surprise me...I mean...I thought...And could you make noise when you walk like other humans?”

Well good, at least some part of her brain was working.  Man, had she really never thought about what it would be like to see him again?  After everything she had been through that day? After all those annoying, glorious feelings had rushed in and buried her alive?  After she had talked to him, dreamed about him, longed for him..

It had all been pretty contained. Pretty safe. Now...this...this was reality.  Even though it did feel like some idiotic dream.  Something she’d wake up from any moment. Yeah, that had to be it.  Maybe she’d slipped and fallen on her way over and was out cold. 

“Lisa Marie, are you okay?”  His hand reached out to touch her chin, and she pulled back hard.  The movement caused him to freeze. His hand dropped. His jaw tightened.  Damn...that jawline..that mouth...  Why was it so damn hot in here?

“Sorry...”

What?  Oh shit! Why was she acting like that?

‘Cause jumping him right here might be really bad form. 

Damn! Yes...she knew if he touched her all bets were off.  You don’t open the lid off the vampire’s coffin and show him the sun without risking it all turning to ashes. 

“No...no.. I’m sorry. Shit...” A nervous laughter escaped. “Really, I have no clue. I guess I’m just really surprised to see you, that’s all. You...you look...well.”

She might have said otherworldly beautiful, but that might have freaked him out.  

“You know what they say... Nothing’s better for you than dying.”

That knot in her stomach again.

“Don’t joke.”

He smiled again, raising his hands. “Sorry... I know. No one seems to like that one. Gotta work on my routine.”

Without knowing what was happening, Lisa regained the ground between them.

“Probably ‘cause no one liked you almost dying all that much.”

“Yeah, I wasn’t a fan of that myself. But hey...here I am.  In good old England. Jolly good time!”

He did his best Martin Bashir British accent at the last part.  She giggled. The thrilling, almost forgotten sound of his little laughter joined hers.  If only she could see his eyes...

Before she knew what was happening, she found her hand carefully cradling his cheek. Only the lightest touch.  Sparks shot through her fingertips and up her arm.  A jolt almost stopping her heart, before lightening flashes spread all through her, causing all her limps to tingle. 

Smart move, Lisa. Good thing you almost broke the world record jumping back from him when now you are the one doing the touching. Real clever!

“You....”  The small word was a sigh and a prayer.

Michael’s hand came to rest on top of hers.  His long fingers exploring her hand as if he had never touched her before. He lightly turned his hand and placed a kiss in the palm.

“Yeah, Princess, me. In the flesh.”

Lisa’s breath hitched.  More heat.  Her heart stopped, then restarted with pounding intensity, causing her to seriously doubt her ribcage was built to withstand that kind of assault.

Something felt funny on her cheek. Was that a tear? Hadn’t she just been laughing?  Okay, she was definitely losing her ever-loving mind here. And- big surprise- it was all triggered by the one man she should be far, far away from.  

“Lisa Marie...Lisa...baby...what’s wrong. Don’t cry...I’m right here.”  His fingers slid from her hand into her hair, smoothing it back like he had done so many millions of times. 

“But you almost weren’t...you almost...”  She sniffled, wiping that stupid tear away.

“Hey...but you know I’m okay. I mean..who do you think you’ve been talking to on the phone and online?  I sure hope you didn’t think it was some impostor with you talking like you did..”

Oh great...did her have to remind her of that?  Good to know that little instigating asshole was still contained in that very mature, demure man before her. 

“No, it’s not that. I mean...I know you were fine...but to see you...guess it just blew my mind.”

She removed her hand, breaking the physical contact. The warmth still very much alive inside her. 

Need. Incredible need to to feel him. Loss of warmth...loss of life... The pain was almost physical. 

“Yeah, I got that effect on some people.”  That boyish, mischievous grin she never thought she’d see again.  

Without knowing what she was doing, her hand reached for his.  There was no playbook. No rules. She was running on pure instinct. Her whole being seeming intent to ensure this was indeed very real. That this was a real-life, breathing person, not just another figment of her wishful imagination.  A wish buried deeply for years inside that genie’s bottle. Till the frantic wringing of her hands set it free in a surprising explosion.

“You always had that effect on me...”  

Too late... The words were out. No biting of the tongue could return them. 

His eyebrows lifted in surprise.  Damn those shades- she needed to see his eyes.

His fingers intertwined with hers.

Lisa reached up with her free hand.  It was not fair that she had to be so utterly vulnerable to him while he got to hide.  Michael caught her wrist.

“Don’t...”

“You don’t need them in here, Mike.”

“I do. My eyes are hurting from...and I got a headache...”

“Please...” 

He stilled, biting his lip.  

Michael brought her hand down gently.  Surrendering, she dropped it the rest of the way. Maybe it was for the best. 

Lowering his head, he seemed to think for a moment.  Then, in a surprise move, he hesitantly took off his shades.  Keeping his eyes closed for a moment, he finally met her gaze. 

Lisa swallowed.  

“Better?”

Yes...no... Once again her very being felt totally hijacked and taken in.  He damn well knew what he was doing.  He knew why he kept his eyes hidden so much.  He could bullshit with everything else, but his soul was always laid bare in their obsidian depths.  Once, in a time so long ago she often wondered if it had existed at all they were full of laughter, playfulness, cockiness...sometimes filled with deep love and passion..sometimes anger...at times sadness... On the rare occasions after 2005, she often caught a moment when they dimmed and seemed distant and remote.  Now...there was something new.  Something she could not name.  Something that stole her breath, scared, and thrilled her at the same time.  Figuring it out would require some sort of thought...when right now she was an a bundle of unmyelated nerves.  

Did she nod?  Did it matter?

His thumb started to draw little circles on her hand and she almost jumped out of her skin.  Nothing but an innocent, almost automatic caress.  

“So...I saw you and ...uhum...the family...outside.  I almost didn’t recognize Riley. Oh, God, she’s a woman now.  And your babies...”

Hypnotized, Lisa watched his Adam’s apple move as he swallowed hard. A flash of pain racing through his orbs like a comet on an August night.  Fire incinerating her atmosphere. In panicked fascination she watched the display.

“They are beautiful Lisa...so big already...” 

Lisa licked her dry lips. She felt his gaze drop and watch the small movement.

“They’re almost a year old now.”

“Yeah, October, right?”

“Right...”

Michael took another small step.  Damn...Should they really be standing this close?

Well, you could step back. Nothing is keeping you.  Why are you playing with fire?  You know this is not simply an innocent conversation about your family. Not with your hand clinging to his as if it still belonged there.  As it had belonged there once...

Yeah, and she could also sprout wings and fly. 

“Is that why you left?  I mean..I thought I saw you..felt you... and then I saw you left.”

He stared past her. Then he blinked and looked down, smiling in that artificial, protective way that never reached his eyes. 

“You felt me?”

“I felt someone looking.” No, that was a lie. She felt him looking.  It was crystal clear now. Her turn to avoid his gaze.  Did he have to scan her as if he was attempting to decipher some secret?

“And you think I left because I saw you? That I ran away?” His eyes told her he didn’t like her thinking that at all. 

“I didn’t say that.”

“No, but you obviously meant that.”

“I don’t know what your motivations are Michael.  Not anymore.”

“Well, just to fill you in: I saw you and didn’t want to intrude on your...happiness. So- I came back here, cause ...cause...I think I left something earlier.”

Lisa laughed. “Oh, you, too?”

Maybe he also was looking for Harper’s bunny.  The one she knew was in Riley’s bag. 

“What?”  His surprised look was genuine this time. 

Still grinning, she lowered her eyes. “Nothing...sorry.”

A light came on in the dark depths regarding her.

“Oh, did you forget something Lisa?  Or did you came chasing after me?” 

Oh, well...it was great to see his ego wasn’t worse for the wear.  For a second, she was tempted to be annoyed, then his little grin made her weak in the knees. 

“I thought I left Harper’s bunny here somewhere...”  Hopefully the attempt at a poker face was successful.

“I see...”  The slightest cocky smile. 

Damn him! 

“Oh, please. Get over yourself, will y’a?  I certainly didn’t come running after you. If you remember it was you who keeps filling up my mailbox and my voicemail. So, don’t get your head all big and think I can’t live without you or anything.” Maybe is she sounded extra bitchy, he’d buy it.

Michael raised his hand and his finger caressed her cheek. 

“You’re the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, Lisa. I can’t stand I let you go...” 

The tone of and the expression in his voice almost knocked her on her ass. Talk about someone taking the wind out of her sails.  Damn, he was good.  And so fucking dangerous. 

Someone had set fire to her stake.  There you go, Joan of Arc...  The flames licked all around.  But she had a knife- she could cut her ties, jump over the wall of heat and run to safety.  Too bad all she seemed intent on was deeply inhaling the smoke, enjoying the delirious agony. 

Okay, Lisa. Time to get the hell out of Dodge.  This has gone far enough.  He’s here, he’s alive, that’s great- now leave.  Lockwood must by now be wondering what hole you’ve falling into. So, tell him it was great seeing him and you wish him the best. You’ve done your part.  He’ll be fine and dandy. Step away from the crack! 

But no...she was a prisoner.  Had no freedom of choice. There was no escape. His eyes had her paralyzed.  Shackled to the sudden flood of emotions he allowed her to witness.  Pain, loneliness, despair, and sudden, white hot, scorching passion.  

Just this once...one more time...

One deep breath, inhaling his aftershave...

The last thing she consciously remembered was him licking his lips.  Her body screamed, remembering that sensual, soft, demanding mouth on her.

There must have been some crazy, chemical reaction that propelled her. Made her reach up and pull his head down to her.  The impact was hard and sudden, making her teeth ache.  This was not a kiss...it was a life-sustaining necessity.  She needed to drink of his breath to celebrate that it still filled his lungs. Needed to feel his lips on her, devour their full texture and feast on his taste.  Maybe some part hoped that he’d have enough sense for both of them...that’ he’d gently pull away, remind her that she was acting line a raving lunatic.

But no.  If there was surprise on his part, it was gone before his lips devoured her mouth, before his tongue greedily met hers, the gliding caress setting off fireworks celebrating her independence. 

She finally had surrendered his hand, only to to find her fingers clutching to his shoulders while his hand was grabbing her hair, holding her to him as if his life depended on it. Not that she would have pulled away.  The kiss was pure, molten sunlight.  Her blood seemed bubbly and hot , causing her to shiver and moan.  Slowly, she was running out of oxygen.  Too bad she really didn’t care.  

Michael finally left her lips and she inhaled deeply.  Grateful that his scent was all around her as mere air would never have sufficed.  Pulling back her hair, he exposed her neck to his continued small kisses, decorating her flesh, and sending chills all over her as his ragged breath teased her further.

“Michael....” her forced moan seemed to entice him further and he once again pulled her mouth to him.  

Holding on for dear life, her hands were on the lapel of his jacket, pushing him into the wall behind them.  Again the kiss was all consuming.  His hands started to roam over her back, her shoulders, down to her ass, bringing her into him. It wasn’t enough.  No amount of contact seemed to suffice to bridge the gap.  Madness.

Fire... heat...a tidal wave rolling over her.  The riptide pulling her out further to sea.  She knew the most detrimental move would be to struggle.  Surrender was the only option.

Leaning against him, she suddenly became very aware of the hard ridge against her belly.  Hands with a will of their own disappeared in his jacket, pulling on his shirt, finding his hot, smooth skin.  His head fell back against the wall and she took the moment to kiss down his jawline, his neck.  Her tongue discovered his afternoon stubble had started to break through and  some ancient conditioned part went into overdrive. 

Heavy breathing, moans, and little sighs impregnated the static air around them.  Michael’s hands had found her ass and he was pulling her into him more, his hips starting to move, while his strong hands massaged her, the movements lifting up her dress inch by inch.  

“Shit,...Lise...dammit..you drive my crazy...what are we doing...?” 

Living Michael...we are alive...

Panting she looked up at him through hazed eyes.  What indeed?  Did it matter? Did anything really matter?  Had anything been of any importance since June 25th?  Could anything really compare to seeing him?  Feeling his breath?  His lips?  His hands?  When was the last time she had been this alive? 

“I need you....I need you so much...”

One hand reached between them and found his rock hard bulge.  The other tangled in his hair and pulled him close to her. Kissing his now swollen lips, biting the bottom, sucking it into her mouth, his groan making her nipples harder and flooding her pussy.

Michael looked up and scanned the stables.  His eyes found the tack room she had meant to search for treats.  Well, maybe she’d find just that there now. He seemed to have a similar revelation. Kissing her once more, he moved her toward the door and inside.  Out of breath and totally drugged, Lisa fell against the wall and he leaned in, bracing one arm against the wall, while the other reached up to caress first her hair, then her cheek, her lips.  She turned and kissed his hand, brining his fingers to her lips, sucking on them, surrounding the length with her tongue while holding his gaze.

“Fuck...” he muttered, watching her in fascination.  

Lisa reached down and found his straining cock, squeezing it, rubbing it’s length.  Damn...how had she ever forgotten how big he was. Long...hard... Her mouth watered.  As did her lower region.  She needed him. Desperately.  If making love would be the last thing she’d ever do- she’d happily jump into the furnace. There were no other considerations. Nothing else existed. And certainly no one else.

Searching for a zipper, her trembling fingers found a series of buttons. Leave it to him to be difficult. Well, he probably hadn’t anticipated to be jumped in a stable today.  

His hand joined hers...also shaking, but ultimately more familiar with his fly. At the same time his other hand continued it’s teasing journey down her neck, holding her throat in a little grasp for a second as if meaning to take her life. Which was appropriate. Given she’d hand it to him without thinking twice. Then he travelled on, outlining the opening of her dress, drawing a line of fire on her sensitive skin.

Being able to multitask, he had succeeded in opening his pants. Holding her hand he brought it against his throbbing length.  His own fingers found the swell of her breast and he started his caress, very light at first, before teasing her with a firm hold through her bra.  Her nipples ached to his hot touch and she arched into him.

Michael kissed her neck once more, then worked on pulling her dress lower, reaching in this time, under her bra, finding her nipple and strumming it, pulling it.  The low cut not being a hinderance, he pulled the fabric to the side, lifting her boob out, and before she knew what was happening, his hot lips sucked hard on her tender tips, causing her to scream out lightly.

Needing him more than life itself, she finally reached into his fly. When she encountered the hard, hot rod, she pulled him free, marveling at the familiar yet new sensation of his manhood in her hands.  Michael moaned against her, sending hot waves of liquid mercury from her nipples to her clit, making her want to come right there. As her own fingers closed around him, she marveled at the length and girth of this amazing man.  Her inner muscles contracted.  How had he once fit in her so perfectly.  He felt huge now... Painful anticipation fueled her stroking caresses.

Michael had switched to her other breast. pulling it fee as well, kissing and biting her nipples... leaving her a whimpering mess against the wall. Her sounds and administrations also taxed him.  His cock was jumping in her hand, pre-cum lubricating her movements now.

“Lisa...oh god...you drive me crazy...fucking shit...”

“Please....I need you...”

He looked up and into her eyes. “Lise...are you sure...”

Was the world round? 

Her hand closed against him tighter.  “Yeah...” Her free hand took his and brought it to her leg.  Together they raised her dress.  Her throat felt tight.  His hand left a burning trace on her shivering skin. He approached her panties and her eyes closed. 

Her hand fell to the side.

His fingers traced the soaked material, before he pulled her panties off in one swift move. He obviously felt the same sense of urgency.  Lisa stepped over them and kicked them away.

Michael laughed in that deep, throaty way she adored. “Dang girl...you really want it...don’t you?”

If he planned to push her away or piss her off it was too late. At this late stage in the game his cockiness only edged her on further.  She grabbed him and pulled him against the wall this time, kissing him hard, grabbing his throbbing cock again.

“Make love to me, Michael. I need to feel you...”

She jumped and he lifted her at the same time, her legs locked around him.  His tongue caressed and teased her, demanding and giving.  He found her weeping, swollen pussy and when he finally touched the outer pedals she shivered against him. Caressing her, he used her juices to rim her opening, teasing and playing before entering her with first one, then two fingers. Lisa fell against him, moaning...  

“Shit...you’re dripping...you’re so hot...oh girl..I want you so damn much...”

Her muscles gripped him as she moved against his caress, kissing his neck.  Reaching down, she felt how ready he was.  She stroked the pulsing flesh and brought him to where she needed him. Another hungry kiss and his fingers left her. The bulb of his cock at her opening, she held her breath.  The kiss broke and their eyes connected.

Clinging to him, she lifted.  Michael reached down and his hand closed over hers as he also guided himself.  When he entered her ever so slowly, she held her breath.  He was so damn big.  How had her body forgotten?

“Damn...you’re tight...so hot...Lise...fuck..”

Another inch and he stretched her.  Lisa forced herself to take a deep breath against the pleasure and pain mixture.   

“Damn...you’re so crazy big...shit...”

“Baby..I don’t wanna hurt you...you feel so damn tight...”

“It’s okay...hurt me...you hurt me so good...”  

“Shit...”

With that, Michael pulled slightly back, then surged forward hard, impaling her totally.  Lisa screamed and he swallowed her sound with a greedy kiss.  For a second he held still, giving her only the lightest, rounding movements of his hips.  Lisa felt as if she had been invaded with an atomic core.  He stretched her and filled her, touching every single, exposed and taxed nerve ending in her body.  She could not remember the last time she had felt this alive.  On fire...Shaken...Close to death and about to be reborn. Well, probably the last time they had made love.  Still...this was different.  

So unexpected.  So forbidden.  So necessary.  An ancient rite.  A celebration of the miracle of life.  

Michael started to move, lifting her against him, using his hips in that amazing way that touched her walls, her g-spot, and her clit in a myriad of ways every time he withdrew and slammed back into her.  Lisa held on for him for dear life, knowing this couldn’t be slow and tender.  Knowing she needed to fell his full force claiming her.  Within minutes she was close. Her world consumed by this spiral of light and fire about to explode in her body.  

“Michael...so good...oh damn...”

“I can’t hold off...I swear you’re gon’ kill me...oh fuck...”

She felt him expanding more as he held on tight.  With the next stroke he lifted her and brought her down at an angle.  The impact caught her clit in a torturous drag just as his full cock stretched her in an almost painful way.  She flew apart into a million pieces.  Her breath got lost and her lungs seemed to seize.  Michael’s mouth swallowed her scream as she spasmed against him wildly.  At the same time, she felt his body freeze before he pounded into her, releasing his hot load, clutching her firmly, joining her mad dance.  Their moans filled the air and Lisa realized with some far of thought that if anyone had the bright idea the visit the horses at that time, they’d truly be fucked.  And it was frightening how little she cared. All she cared about was feeling him shiver, feeling his ejaculation ongoing...feeling aftershocks trigger another climax as she willed her body to relax and accept another onslaught. 

Time lost its definition.  Lisa had no idea how long it took to calm down.  It was impossible to pinpoint the moment her own breath once again moved her lungs and her heart continued it’s function.  Weakly and exhausted she sank against Michael, listening in an almost hypnotized way to the erratic beating of his heart.  The proof.  The strong rhythm affirming his life. 

Lisa closed her eyes. 

“Lise...baby...” He cradled her to him and she smiled against his chest. 

“Babe...I gotta put you down...”

Oh shit...was she still clinging to him like a Koala bear? Man...what did she think she was? 25 and light as a feather? 

Gently, Michael lowered her,and they both trembled when he withdrew from Lisa. 

The loss suddenly made her feel cold and alone.  And reality came rushing in... Oh God! What the hell had just happened?  How had they gone from bickering to this frantic, desperate, all-fulfilling... what?  Coupling? Fucking?  Some odd feeling broke lose from deep inside her chest.

No, Lisa. Be Honest.  This was one of the most special moments of your life.  You thought you lost him.  And now you made love.  And it can never, ever, happen again.

Lisa felt like crying.  Dizzy from the sudden assault of all possible emotions. 

“Lisa...” His arms were still closed around her like vices, unwilling to let her go. Well, she was willing to bet her life that in about ten seconds he’d be full of remorse, telling her what a horrible mistake they had committed.  When the evidence of his passion was still seeping form her and sticking to her thighs.

Shit! What the fuck was her problem?  Had she just about raped Michael? In a stable?  With her husband in the very vicinity?  Her children....

And yet, for the life of her, she could not find the one emotions she probably should have felt: regret. Too often had she lied that Michael was just that- well, never again. Not to his face and not in snide remarks.  He was her whole heart.  And she could never, ever have him again.  

Hesitant, she pulled away, knowing in some awakening part of her brain that she had to put herself together again.  Everything inside her screamed to stay in place for just another golden second.

Michael kissed her head. “Don’t go...not yet...give us just another moment...just now...”

Sadness tinted his voice.  Had his thoughts matched hers?  Impossible... and yet, so very likely.

“Michael...”

“Don’t...don’t say it yet.... Don’t say that you hate what just happened.’

What?

Incredulous LIsa looked up...forgetting her hesitance to meet his eyes.  Gosh- and how full of feelings they were once again. 

“I don’t hate what happened. Could never hate it... Ever. For real. I think it had to happen.  Was destined to happen.”

Surprise and relief registered on his features and replaced that fatigued complacency she had just spotted.

“No regrets?”

Her hand reached up and she pulled his face down to her.  The kiss was gently and giving...a solemn promise. “I thought I lost you.  Talk about regrets.... I was left with two lifetimes of things I wanted to say to you. Ways I wanted to touch you...I wanted to see you, feel you, smell you, taste you... I knew I messed up ...you know..when you asked me to be with you- and i told you I didn’t feel anything...”

“Indifferent...that’s the word you used.”  Accusation still in his eyes.  How deeply had she wounded him?  Some injuries just don’t heal all the way.  All she had to think about was Deb and that disaster.  How he replaced her.  Oh yeah, she had forgiven- but it was almost impossible to forget.

“I know.  Well, I ain’t indifferent now.  And I wasn’t when I thought you died.  So no...I can’t ever regret what just happened. But..”

A sad smile graced his features. “Always a but...”

“Michael...”

“No- Lisa...I get it,” he touched her chin and lifted her face to him, his thumb stroking her jawline and outlining her swollen bottom lip.  “It was like a reaffirmation that I was alive.  A reaffirmation what we...are...or were...to each other. A sacret rite...Celebration of life of sorts.”

God- his sappiness and seriousness almost made her cry.  Again.

“Well, it was also a damn good fuck...”

Michael laughed. “And that...”

Another soft kiss...

“Lisa...are you happy?  Happy in your life?  Did you find what you were looking for?”

Had anyone asked her that before June 25th, she would not even hesitate.  And it was still true.  Had to be.  She had worked so damn hard to achieve that serenity.  

And you just blew it to bits, didn’t you?  Michael’s penis is not the paintbrush you use to express your tableau of a happy family life.

He never needed to know how deep her pain and her love ran.  He needed to focus.  Right now he seemed okay looking at this as some rite of spring. If he thought she was deliriously happy, he probably wouldn’t fight her. Would actually be relieved, she was sure.  The deal still stood.  She could not risk upsetting some powerful force in the universe. Not for purely selfish reasons. He was fine.  He told her so.  Once he had needed her, but the training wheels seemed to have come off.  And she had responsibilities.

You are such a fucking liar. You know damn well, if he looked at you again like he did about half an hour ago....if he asked you to come with him...if he told you he loved you... would you really hesitate? 

“Lisa?”

Some sound beside his voice caused Lisa to freeze.  What was that?

“Did you hear something?” Her heart suddenly started to pound and almost drowned out her whisper. 

Michael lifted his head and listened.

“No..probably the horses...but we better get you back into your panties...” 

Reaching down, he stuffed his still not totally flaccid penis back into his pants- while somehow neglecting to fasten the buttons again. Grinning he stepped over and picked up the lacy underwear she kicked off in a frenzy...

“Unless you’d let me keep them as a souvenir...” 

Little wired freak! Oh, how she adored that dirty grin that lit up his eyes. 

“And have me parade around all bare...”

“Yeah...all nice and bare...just like I love it...”

Shit...her pussy reacted.  This was not the way to go to find the detour back to friendship.

Kinda hard anyway, given his fly is still open and your pussy throbbing and dripping with his cum. 

Oh yeah...another bright idea.  What in the world was wrong with her? Reaching for her panties, Lisa heard another noise. This time, Michael jumped as well. 

“Fuck- I heard that...”

“Lisa Marie, are you in here?” 

Shit! Oh, God- someone was coming! Someone was looking for her.

Michael grabbed Lisa’s arm and pulled her toward the wall.

“Who is that?”

“Not sure...could be Sarah...Fergie...you know...this is her house...”

“Shht- maybe she’ll just go away...”

“Is she in there?” 

Lisa paled. Her breath caught at hearing the very familiar voice.

Her hand reached out automatically and she grabbed Michael’s arm. Hard.

“What?”

“Shhtt....that’s...”

“Mom?  Mom- are you in there?”

Michael froze as well.  No doubt, he just guessed that the younger of the two voices belonged to his stepdaughter.

“Fuck...” he hissed.

Oh God! Why had she not even thought about the fact that people would eventually be looking for her?  

Cause your brain doesn’t work when his cock is tickling your tonsils...from the bottom...

They both held perfectly still, not even daring to breathe.

“Oh, Riley- let’s have a look back there, maybe she was looking for something in that tack room out back.  See- right in the back of the stables...”

And with that, the footsteps drew closer and Lisa thought she’d pass out. 

“Lisa...?” Michael held her hand.

Decision time... Knowing she was not going to expose him to scrutiny, Lisa pushed him back to the wall and kissed him quickly. 

“There- be still, okay? No breaking into song.”

Not waiting one more second, and without letting his surprised face register, she stepped forward and out of the tack room, pulling the door shut behind her.

“Hey, Riley.  What ch’a hollering about. I’m right here.”

Raking her hand through her messy hair, Lisa stood tall, facing the amused grin of her friend, and the flustered, startled expression of her daughter.

Showtime! 

(to be continued)

©2013 Erika B Michaels. All Rights Reserved. This story is a work of fiction. Any names, places, and other identifying features are used in a fictional manner, for entertainment purposes only, and are in no way representative of actual events. This work may not be reproduced, copied, transmitted, or stored without expressed written permission by Erika B Michaels. All photos and images, mentioned songs or song titles are copyright their creators. ABSOLUTELY no disrespect is intended to any persons portrayed in this work.