AFTERLIFE - chapter 9

Chapter 9

“Mom! Are you on this planet? Hello!!!”

Riley’s voice startled her so badly, she almost dropped her phone.  What the fuck was so urgent her daughter had to scare the crap out of her?

“Chill! You almost made me drop my phone. Not cool to sneak up on an old lady.”

“Yeah. Sneaking up, indeed. I’ve been asking you the same question like four times.”

“Okay... I’m sorry. Can you ask your poor old mother one more time?” Lisa wrapped her arms around her daughter and kissed her cheek. God! How she loved having all her babies under one roof! 

“Did Michael say if he was coming for sure or not?  Ben wanted to show him some stuff he had been working on and he asked me. And since you’re the authority and all I thought I’d pick your brain”

Lisa froze and dropped her arms.  His name, as always hitting her straight in the gut.

Was Michael going to actually show up?  At her house... Her home.  Where she lived. With Lockwood.  Lisa suddenly felt it was difficult to breathe.  Her heart in her throat, making her pulse reverberate to the tips of her hair.  

Well, stupid. You invited him.  So, what’s the big surprise?

No, correction, the kids invited him.  With Lockwood standing right there...at the opening of Michael’s show.  On that crazy night that didn’t even seem real now.  Her physical self had been in attendance.  There were pictures to prove that.  

“Elvis’ daughter catches up with the other King.” And other lovely headlines like that.  Her likeness stupid as always in print: looking like a deer caught in the headlights.  An aging deer.  With this gorgeous Peter Pan next to her.  Lockwood and his silly hat standing on her other side. Like some bystander. 

Seems fitting, given he is collateral damage in this latest nuclear fallout you created, oh queen of fuck-ups.  

No- no fallout yet.  The atomic warheads were still zooming toward their target.  Predictably.  Deadly. Inevitably. 

Anyway- so yeah, she had been at the opening as well.  Even though her whole being had been somewhere else. On some fucked up rollercoaster of an out of body experience.  Everything was too real and too surreal at the very same instant. How many times had she been right there- sitting off stage...watching him.  No- taking him in. Letting him fill her soul.  Being taken on this experience words could never describe.  How do you use human words to nail down the DNA of genius?  Your rational brain does not have enough perception centers to fully take in and absorb a gift from some other sphere.  Maybe divine, maybe a small particle of the universe. 

Michael the man, became this incredible force.  Superhuman.  Inhuman.  And yet- this particular force of nature had human eyes.  Eyes zooming in on her, scorching her soul.  Had lips she could swear sang for her.  Had a voice reaching out to caress and play her every chord. 

What should have been a triumphant night was a nightmare.  She had been frantic- no: borderline hysterical.  So fucking worried he would fall apart.  But damn- when he was on stage, when he started to move...her breath stopped. It had nothing to do with him falling to pieces, though/ She was the one at risk of losing her life. His power was there as it always had been.  If he made any allowances for the progress of time, it certainly did not show.  He had said he wanted to provide the world with a show unlike anything ever seen before.  And damn, if he hadn’t done it again.

“Thanks for coming. I’m scared, you know.  For the first time.  Fucking scared.”

Like a ghost, he had come up behind her, barely breathing the words.  And when she turned, surprised- not sure she had really heard him correctly, he had already moved away, joking with Kenny.  Being a bundle of energy.  Maybe she had imagined the moment. He had hinted at his fear before.  But it was so inconceivable.  Michael afraid of the stage?  Man, what all had they stolen from him?

There wasn’t enough time to worry about it.  Everything became a blur.  She was in a daze.  Captive. Held immobile by his beam of light.  His eyes, finding her at parts where she expected it.  And randomly at other segments. Little glittering fragments in the fabric of time, meaning more than any diamonds. Or pearls. 

Since has had been known to both tease without reason and to change his mind,  she was still not sure he’d actually go there and sing Lady in My Life.  And then it hit her like a ton of bricks when he did just that. Her breath stalled.  Life sustained by a force outside herself.  It was such an intimate moment- a quiet island in the amazing spectacle of this show.  Just him and minimal music- His voice exquisite, quiet at first, then rising, pleading, begging... At one point he looked up and straight into her. 

“I need you I want you...don’t you go nowhere....”

Shit! What was he doing? They’d all know.  His voice rained down on her like fire. Baptism by flames.  She was hot and cold.  

There was a pause before applause drowned him. The lights darkened and she saw a smile playing around his lips as he seemed to wink at her. Maybe it was her imagination. It was dark after all. Maybe he was blinking...as they kind were the same with him anyway.

“Wow- powerful! I had forgotten about that song. It was on Thriller right?”

Lockwood’s whisper brought her back to this planet with a bang.  

“Yeah...” Lisa cleared her throat as she felt as if she had eaten a mouthful of dirt.  Desperate attempts to struggle out of the quicksand.  Stupid, too.  Didn’t she know it only make her sink deeper? She tried to steady herself, felt shaken.  Trembling.  Feverish.  “Yes, it is....I think.”

“Surprised he is digging out that older stuff. You remember that song?”

“Hm...?”  What was she supposed to say. 

Oh sure, I remember it. It’s the song that landed me in his bed again.

“Lise- I’m just wondering if you know it.”

“Sure Mom knows it...Michael used to sing it...” Lisa shot Ben a look and he interpreted it correctly and his mouth snapped shut. Wonderful that her kids still recalled Michael’s serenades.  Of course...damn..how could they forget their mother’s carefree laughter, being twirled through the room by Michael, singing how he wanted to grow old with her. Had they ever seen her like that again?

“Yeah- kinda...shhhht...” Lisa was granted an escape by a series of little explosions going off and Michael once again appearing on stage. God! She almost hit the roof, the sound and flashes scared her so badly.  Fuck! She wish he didn’t have to be around fucking explosives so much.  She knew full well it freaked him out. Still. He pretended to not care- but she saw him flinch almost in-perceptively.  Why was he doing this to himself?  Was he trying to prove something?  

Or was this just another piece of evidence that really, he wasn’t in charge at all.

“Fuck, Lisa...this isn’t really my show.  They invert everything and turn it into their spectacle... I try to choose and have input- and it’s gotten a bit better, but still.  It ain’t mine...I got like no voice.  I’m just their puppet.”

The rare complaint had caused her to drop by Philipp’s office- reminding him of her conditions. To ease up on Michael, go give him time and space- and to let him run his own show. Philipps had looked at her with his rat eyes and given her that odd smile.

“For a woman who only wants to be a silent partner you’re pretty noisy, Miss Presley.”

“If you don’t like it, I’ll let my money do the talking and the walking- and you can find yourself another investor.”

“Oh, please- then how would you manage to run your ex-husband’s life?  I mean, you want him to have control, but you pull his strings just the same...”

“Excuse me?”

He held his hands up and laughed. “Oh, nothing. Just making an observation.”

“Well, do me a favor and keep those to yourself. I’m not interested.”

And yet, the small, unpleasant exchange had once again caused her stomach to flip, wondering what Michael would do if he ever found out.  Would he see her actions as an effort to help, or would he accuse her of blatant interference?  She knew how he hated when she stepped anywhere near his business.  No, correction: he had hated that. When they were married.  When she had every right to know what was going on. But now? He’d be fucking furious.  Maybe justifyably so. What rights did she have these days?

You love him. You have every right.  You can’t survive without him.  You found that out the hard way.  So he will just have to suck it up.  

She was not sure how it had happened. But he was an extension of her.  Or she of him.  Maybe it never had happened at all. Maybe it just always had been that way.  Some silly palm reader said something about them being old souls desperately trying to make it right and become united again. Well....if that was so, they sure as fuck done messed up again.  And yet, so often it felt as if part of her had been ripped away.  She was adrift in some odd galaxy, seeing the mothership at times, but never able to redock to a safe reconnection.  So much for years of pretending she didn’t give a flying fuck.  Talk about wasted time.

Oh, how she had tried to exorcise him from her life. Her heart. She had convinced herself he had only used her. Had never loved her at all.  And now he was everywhere.  In her life, her heart, her head..

And seemingly in her family.  After the show, she wanted to get the hell out of there. Her nerves were ripped to shreds.  Too many memories tethered to too many emotions.  Had she been tied to ten horses who’d ripped her apart she’d have felt more together.  Torture.  Unnatural.  She’d never been backstage when she was not allowed to touch him. When he could not hold her hand while talking to others.  When she’d not know he’d bang the crap out of here as soon as they’d get to whatever hotel- or at times even before that.  Michael working off that adrenaline. Lisa working off feeling turned on like hell watching her man up there on stage.  And yes- every single time she’d been at a show with him- he had been hers to touch. Hers to love. Hers to fuck. Obviously not right then and there- but she knew it was all within reach. 

So, this whole thing was one giant mind-fuck.  Here he was.  After giving one of the most amazing performances she had ever seen. By anyone. Time had stood still- and then taken a giant leap forward.  And here she was- married to another man. With her two adult children next to her- bouncy and excited as they have always been after one of Michael’s shows.  And her two babies- the most significant symbols that life had indeed gone on- were at home.  They usually centered and grounded her.  But hey- it might have been a tad bit odd to show up with two one year olds. 

“Hey- let’s get out of here. He’s probably busy. And I wanna be home with the girls.”

“Mom! We are NOT leaving before I tell Michael how f... flipping amazing he was. How he blew everyone’s MIND! How.... so yeah- we are not leaving yet!”

Lockwood looked at her. She physically felt his eyes on her. “Lisa?  Everything cool?”

What? Was he surprised she wanted to leave?  What had he expected?  That she’s stay and party on? How was she supposed to act?  She’d seriously needed a playbook for this one.  And was he reading her like a book despite her efforts to have a calm and serene outer shell.  Well, judging by everything detonating inside, she was pretty darn sure sure that shell was about to crack. 

“What?”  Okay...that might have been a bit bitchy.

“Nothing- I just am surprised...I mean..”  Yeah, he probably wondered why the fuck she would want to cut and run when her old buddy, her dear friend, the man she had no feelings for other than friendship had just finished his most amazing come-back.  

Play it cool, Lisa.  Don’t run.  Don’t shut down.  He’ll know... He’ll guess.  He already is wondering what the fuck happened to you.  What happened to you never wanting to be apart from him.  Why you are gone so many nights... So many visits to Sarah.  Many nights in town... coming home late.  Many excuses...after he found her on the couch. 

All her damn lies to cover up her double life.  That dark other existence.  The dream world...

“Hey- Lisa Marie- Michael...hey kiddos...”

And there he was. Her dream. Her nightmare.  Her everything.  His soft voice interrupting them.  His arms hugging both Riley and Ben to him tightly. A smile on his lips, his eyes closed as he kissed Riley’s head, then looked up and over at her.  Damn those eyes.

Lockwood and the kids started gushing.  Michael, humble as always, took in their accolades calmly.  He seemed to be attentive and charming.  And yet- every now and then the velvet touch of his eyes glided over her like a feather.  Feeling like whip lashes on her raw nerves.  As she stood there...still shell shocked.

“You enjoyed yourself, Lisa Marie?” 

Lisa swallowed.  He used her name in that strange intonation only he could. His eyes laughed.  He knew she hated it when he used her full name.

Enjoyed herself?  Every single cell of her body was activated.  Emotions crawling over her like fire ants, gnawing away her protections, and wishing she could simply pull some kind of plug and go numb.

“Yeah...sure...hey. It was...nice.”

Dammit! Nice? Really?  What the fuck... that would get his attention.  And for once she was not even trying to get his goat. 

Ben and Riley stopped in mid-talk and turned. Riley stared at her as if she suddenly grew another head. And she felt Lockwood’s stare as well. They no doubt had seen her more enthusiastic about the sound of a squeaking door than this.

Michael’s eyebrows raised and he got this little sarcastic grin only she could decipher.

“Well, I am honored you thought it was nice.”

Lockwood grabbed Lisa’s hand and she almost shook it off. Instead, her fingers clutched the life vest tighter.

Michael caught the gesture, and she noticed the tightening of his jawline. Lisa relinquished the hold. Disguising the move by fussing with her hair.

“Mom is obviously speechless” Her son shot her a worried look. As if she just had lost all her marbles.  “It was fantastic, Michael. Amazing.... I could not wrap my head around it all...so crazy cool...”

Ben, her sweet boy, came to her rescue as always.

“Thank you Benjamin- it means a lot to me to hear you say that. Last time you saw one of my shows you were so little...hope this lived up to you memories.”

“Oh man, did it ever! it was even better- Mind-boggling. And now Michael, you know, playing myself and all...I can really appreciate what you do on another level.  How was it for you? I mean...could you tell how you dazzled everyone.”

“Everyone but your mother...”  Michael glared at her briefly before disguising his words with a sweet smile. “Well- for me, it was full of all kinds of weird flashbacks. Don’t you agree, Lisa Marie?  I mean, you’ve been here before...You got your own memories, no doubt.”

God! Why did he have to do that?  Didn’t he know?  Or was that it?  That little wired shithead! He did know.  Only understood and read her too well. Why was he digging then?

“Yeah, I mean... Back then seems so long ago really.  Now...It’s different...”

“Well, not really. Last time you were backstage was during the History tour. And we were friends then...Just like now. Right?”

God, she hated how he did that.  Used that soft, sweet tone to hide the knife he was about to gut her with.   At last, the cloaked provocation shocked her out of that odd paralyzed place and her eyes finally found his.  What she found, astonished her.  He was mad.  Borderline furious.  Michael might be a master at containing his inner explosions, but she still knew him only too well.  

Bravely she held her own in the staring contest. “Do you have a point, Michael? Why rehash all that ancient history...”

“Ah yes, history... Funny how it always repeats itself, isn’t it?”

What the fuck was he doing?

“I’m sure I have no idea what you mean..”

“No- I’m sure you don’t. Anyway- I’m so happy you all could be here.  You are all part of my family, honestly!”

Before Lisa could start digging that hole she wish would swallow her, Janet approached.

“Mother and the kids were taken off just as planned, Mike. Oh Jeeze, Lisa, girl, come here! He said you might be here, and I’m just so damn happy to finally see you again!”

Jan pulled her into a tight hug that Lisa returned - her eyes darting over to Michael who talked to Ben again. Having Janet here, after not really having talked to her in so many years made the experience even more unreal.  Michael had been furious with his sister for siding with her, Lisa, many times over the years. At some point, despite having been close like sisters, Janet and she had drifted apart.  She had missed her friend, and it sure was great to see her again.

“We had security take mother and the children back to the house before they’d be paraded around too much.” 

Not too long before the show, Michael had finally decided to unveil his children. Still- he kept them out of the limelight and away from the craziness as much as possible.

“Oh shoot- I had hoped to see them all again, Michael! Hey- I know- why don’t you come over for Ben’s birthday next week?  - That’s okay, right, Mom?”  

And so, somehow, thanks to Riley, she had extended an invitation to Michael and his family- never thinking in a million years that he would accept.  And really, he hadn’t.  He told them he would see what he could do. That he needed to rest.  Janet had not helped, informing him that she’d love to see Lisa’s new place and that he needed to get out more.  

“How long do you plan on hanging out here, Dunk? Don’t you have like real important things to get back to? I’ll think about it. But I really don’t want to intrude, so we’ll see.”

“Mom! Tell him he’s not intruding!” Riley whined like she used to do as a little girl when she wanted to stay at Neverland longer- or wanted Michael to hang around.

Lisa bit her lip, trying to find words that would not encourage him and would allow her to save face. Before everyone thought she was the rudest bitch around.

“Riley and Ben are right- you are more than welcome to see our place.  It would be great to have you. Right, babe?”

Lockwood?  What he hell? To top off his statement he reached for her hand and Lisa saw Michael’s bottom lip tighten ever so slightly.  This time she left her hand in place.  Let him chew on that.

So yeah- she had been trapped.  But still- surely, Michael would have enough common sense to turn that incredibly stupid offer down flat.  

“That actually sounds lovely, thank you. I’ll think about it. The kids have been really isolated and it would be wonderful for them to meet old friends again.”

So much for common sense. Lisa’s mouth had dropped open and she shot daggers at Michael. Who simply smiled at her with that “gotcha” kind of grin that looked perfectly wonderful to anyone not being able to read him like a book.  Maybe she should not have held hands with her legally wedded husband in front of Michael after all.  He didn’t take well to stuff like that, seemed like. Well, shit- she hadn’t taken well to his wonderful photo ops with the Incubator, either, but how many times had she eat from that bitter dish?

“Hey- Michael... If we do make it, maybe you can show me that classic guitar collection Lisa told me so much about.”  Michael obviously was not done baiting her, yet- and now he used Lockwood to do it. Great.

Judging from Lucky’s face, he was as surprised by the last comment as she was.  Except he seemed delighted.  Lisa cleared her throat, getting ready to spoil the oh so stupid plan. The last thing she was ready for was for the two Michaels to hang out at her place and be all buddy-buddy. Not while...

What LIsa? While you’re married to one and sneak into the house- and bed- of the other one?

“Well- Michael, I’m sure you’re busy with your show...and ..you know, I know you gotta rest up in between shows so, we totally understand if you can’t make it. No obligation. I know you’re just being...ah....sweet.”  

Actually, he was being a total ass. But her social straight jacket prevented her from telling the truth. While her eyes said something different- Don’t you fucking dare and do this.  

His eyebrow rose and she read the message correctly- all spelled out in velvet covered steel: 

You got no idea what I dare...

“Mom! He said he’d love to. Don’t already talk him out of it. Jeeze...”

“Ben- you know he ...he was not well..and...” Lisa tried a feeble last effort.   She noticed Riley giving her a quizzing look now, probably recalling all the weirdness at Sarah’s party and trying to make sense of her mother’s protests. Lisa could literally see the little wheels turning. 

“Ben, your Mom worries to much. For nothing. I’d love to get out a bit. And I’d love to see your new home, Lisa Marie.  Unless you don’t want me there?”

There...leave it to him to throw out another challenge.

Come on, Lisa..tell them. Tell them why you don’t want me there... Fill them in on some details they’re missing.

“Nonsense- we’d love to have you, of course. And it would totally rock to show you my guitars. I’m surprised Lisa mentioned them.” Lockwood squeezed her hand. 

“Oh, she talks about you all the time, don’t you Lisa Marie.  Every chance she gets...”

Would it be rude to throw up here in front of everyone? 

No doubt, one of their most recent conversations was on his mind. Right after he had withdrawn from her body, gotten his condom taken care of, and returned, snuggling up against her. 

“Lisa- are we gonna talk about this?”

“No, no, we won’t. If you have any interest in me coming back- I don’t wanna talk. I can’t...”

“After everything you said- now you don’t wanna talk?  You made it clear you can’t stay away.  Well... I’m confused. What about your husband. Your marriage..”

“Michael- I’m warning you.  I do not want to talk about it. I can’t.”

His eyes were big open wounds. So much pain. So much desire.  

“Fine.  Let’s not talk.”  A sullen pause as he chewed on his lip. “Lisa- why don’t you just stay the hell away?”  His voice a hoarse whisper.

Her turn to let the question linger.  

“You know I can’t....not yet.  Maybe...”

Maybe not ever...

“Unless you want me to?...Tell me to stay away.... Tell me to not come back..”  Brave words spoken with a fearful heart. Her eyes couldn't manage to find his.  He tipped her chin up- forced her to jump into the dark burning glacier.

They had started at each other... Until Michael grabbed her and pushed her back onto the bed, kissing her madly.  His tongue spelling out what his words could not.  She understood: he couldn’t tell her to stay away any more than she could keep her distance.  

“Don’t you have to get out of here?” She looked behind him, hoping his goons would get him back to his house soon as she heard the press outside the area they were hanging out in.

“Lisa! I’m sure he knows his own schedule...” Lockwood was clearly embarrassed by her rudeness.  But shit, she’d reached her limit. 

“It’s okay. Lise just remembers the drill...We had our share of darting out of concerts into waiting cars...Remember that Lisa?”

Oh God- what other fossilized memories did he want to unearth with his machete?  Why bring that up?  Didn’t he know?  How could she not think about what had happened in those cars more often than not. The frenzy of her need to touch him, kiss him, taste the salt of his sweat... He was more than high, crazy, careless...and hard.  Kisses, touches, panting...frantic madness. 

Just skimming the surface of those memories rendered her weak. And hot.  

Janet had been standing to their side, talking to one of the musicians, and now turned back, putting one arm around Lisa and one around her brother.

“Oh, I’m sure Lisa remembers.” She laughed lowly, “Man- those two were crazy. Started tearing each other’s clothes off almost before they hit the car.  I mean..shit...  I know they came close to indecent exposure more than once... Oops, sorry... forgot the kids are present. Well- they look old enough for the cold hard facts of life... And in Mikey’s case here his silly pants showed just how...”

Lisa nudged Janet hard. Seriously?  

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Dunk. Think you got me mixed up with Jerm or something,” Michael protested, his cheeks flushed, but still grinning anyway. Men!  

“Mike- Jerm don’t have gold pants like that. And I know I saw that comet like streak more than once as you dragged your woman off like the closet caveman you are... Ouch! Lisa!”

“Sorry- lost my balance...” Lisa had bumped Janet hard that time, and untangled herself from the embrace. 

“So- anyway...” Janet winked at her, “Old history- I get it.  Hey, Lise- you’re staying in town? Karen and I were just talking about hitting some clubs and seeing you’re a local and all...”

“Ah- no- I think I’m gonna head out. We gotta go home...those baby wake-up calls come early.”

“Oh come on...I’m sure Riley here also would love to come on a girl’s night out- she’s old enough now. And we can catch up... Lisa, please...Unless your hubby minds?”

Lockwood shrugged his shoulders. ‘Oh no. Wouldn't dream on tying Lisa down. She’s recently spread her wings more anyway...so I’m used to it.”

Lisa felt hot and uncomfortable.

“Yeah, I’ve been gone too often. Plus, I don’t know...how would I get home? - You staying with your brother?” It just occurred to her to figure out who she might bump into if she ever... No- there- good reason to stay away...

“No- she’s staying in town- finds my house too remote and all... Funny, as others seem to find it just fine...”  Michael had that amused look on his face once again.  What? Did he seriously think she was some reconnaissance mission or something? 

“Yeah- he didn’t want me there.  I could tell.  Plus, the kids get up way too early. So- Lisa- come on. You can stay in my big ass hotel suite in London and I’m sure Mikey won’t mind having one of his zillions of goons drive you back tomorrow. You’ll lend us a goon, right?”

At that moment, one of his security guys did come up and reminded Michael it was time to go.  He was sort of rushed out without him being able to say goodbye’s beyond giving the kids quick hugs.  At the last moment he turned and grabbed her hand.

“Thanks for coming Lisa Marie.  And Michael...” His eyes stayed on hers.  He had donned glasses and yet she could swear she saw that little glint. “I see you later. Don’t be strangers...”

His security guy touched his elbow and started to move him away, but Michael held on to her hand and bent toward her, kissing her cheek lightly.  Currents of heat and light shot from the spot his lips touched to every cell in her body. “Glad you thought it was nice, Lise.”

And with that he turned and was whisked away, leaving her stunned.  Confused.  Lonely. Cold.

Janet kept bugging her until she agreed to grab one drink with her.  And since she enlisted Riley to come along, and charmed Lockwood into thinking it was a great idea, Lisa had little choice but to play along. As if she was in the mood.  Well, she was in the mood for something, but it  sure as hell didn't involved this Jackson.  So...they had their nightcap.   Which of course turned into more than one. After initial catching up on both their lives and talking about the show in general, Janet went for the throat. 

“So, what’s up with you and Mike?” The question came when Janet found herself alone with Lisa while Riley danced with Karen and some other guys that had joined them, including Michael’s singer Judith, who was a real sweet lady, making quick friends with Riley. 

“Me and Michael?...Ah...  Your brother?”  Lisa stuttered, feeling totally blindsided.  Maybe stalling would help.

Janet made a face. “Well, the other one is your husband. Weird, how you picked two with the same name, by the way. I kinda know what’s up with him. You and he are married, right?”

“Right- and therefore: nothing is up with me and Michael. We’re friends.” The last part was muttered from behind a curtain of hair.  

“Uhum... Look at all those lovely flying pigs they have here in London.”

Lisa laughed at the face Janet made to underline how she didn’t buy any of her bullshit.  What had happened to her bullshitting skills?  Not too great lately... “No, really...”

“Lisa- seriously. We might not have been in touch, and me and Mike aren’t as close as we once were...but I can read you two. The tension earlier was nuts. And the way you look at him when you think no one’s paying attention... Man..I thought you’d burn a hole through his pants.  I think your husband noticed it, too. I saw him watching you...lusting after Mike.”

“Jan! I was not lusting after Michael...I think you’re totally misreading the situation...”

“Don’t worry- he lusts after you, too.  I saw him looking at you when he thought he was all stealthy, too.  He still does this funny as shit thing where he checks people out when he thinks it's safe. I'm surprised your boobs and ass didn't tingle.  Or did they? Hey- I thought you’re happy with that new man of yours. I’m confused.”

“I AM happy.  And he’s not all that new. We’ve been together for a while.”  She ignored that comment about certain tingling parts.  As she shifted, finding her panties slightly moist just at the thought of Michael eyeing her... God. Was there no safe-zone?

“Yeah I know... Was he the reason why you didn’t tell Mike you still loved him.... Back in 05 when he called you, right? Cause you already had hooked up with dude.”

No...the reason was that the words had been frozen on her lips.  Hidden from her view as she was blinded by self-righteousness.  She was oh so fucking smart- knowing what was best for him....knowing what was best for her.  Knowing she could not go and risk herself one more time.   He’d be alright. He would bounce back. How delusional had she been?

“I really don’t wanna talk about all this old crap, Janet. I’m sorry...”

“Fine. Let’s talk about now.  Mother said you were horribly shook up when he almost died.  And now you’re here...in the same country.  Only a short drive from him.  Looking at him like he’s water and you just hiked around the Sahara desert for a month.  And he still...”

Lisa looked up. “He still what?”

“He still loves you.  He never stopped.  I stake my life on it.”  Janet grabbed her hand across the table. 

“Janet... He...It’s complicated... Our feelings are, I mean. But I don’t think he loves me. Not like that.”

“Bullshit.  He’s never gotten over you. I don't care if he confides in me anymore or not...but I still know his heart.  That man has it bad...still.”

“Could’ve fooled me...”  Withdrawing her hand, Lisa reached for another shot on the tablet and downed it.  Funny how that old wound just would not close all the way.

“If you’re talking about his baby machine...C’mon on. You know better.”

“Janet....he’s shown over and over that when push came to shove he never could hang in there for me.  I’m glad he’s got his kids...but shit...”

Every single time things had looked like they would work out his desire for children killed everything off. Tender little saplings of hope for their future were bulldozed one too many times by his stubborn plans. Until nothing was left but dry dirt. 

“Well...maybe you guys are even in a way. I mean...he wanted to drop all his plans for you back then.  And you got married. And had kids.  By the way, what was up with those sexy ass preggo pics?  Don't tell me you didn't think my brother would spot those...”

Lisa swallowed... No, she'd never admit that in a million years.  But she knew he was watching.  

I will be watching you... I know you're watching, too.

More lyrics from one of her songs clearly describing her level of addiction to him.  

“Are you saying it’s the same?”

“No...it’s different. But it broke him.  He was checking to see if there was something left between you two.  And you made it clear, I guess, there wasn't.  Mother said he was like a ghost after he hung up that phone.  Gave him the rest.  He’s been real odd since then... Very remote... Cut off... Even from mother. And shit- he barely gives me the time of day. And now this show. It’s good...but for real...it doesn’t seem to have the heart his other shows had.  It’s too big... oh- speaking of the show.  What was with him singing that song to you?  Yeah- you two don’t fool me: something is up. And you both better grow up and act your age soon!”

“Speaking of...I hear you’re about to get hitched? What’s up with that, girl...”

“Does that mean we’re done talking about you and Mike?”

“There is no me and Mike, Jan.”

They looked at each other for a moment, before Janet shrugged and reached for another shot.

“Okay...whatevah, sistah!” 

"Janet- I really am committed to making this marriage work.  To being sane and stable.  I got what I always wanted.  Lockwood gives me that. And God knows that man has hung in there with me through it all..."

"Do you really call him by his last name? Like, even when you do it...? I mean..." Janet started to crack up, and Lisa couldn't help but be pulled along.  It was such an infectious sound...and so much like Michael's laughter... 

"Jan...for real...stop it...!"

"No, c'mon on! We used to be close, you and I. I know a thing or two about you and Mike I wish I could unknow...so spill:  Blondie...does he make your toes curl like Mike did? Or does..."

"Janet! You better cut that out! No toe curling going on with me and your brother."

"What about you and Michael, Mom?"

Dammit! Riley had come back to the table, hugging her from behind.  Shooting a warning glance across the table, Lisa smiled up at her daughter. "Nothing, baby.  I was just telling Janet that I hope he gets some rest.  I know I'm tired from all the excitement...you guys about ready to head out?"

"Oh shoot- you know Mike. He ain't gon' be worn out. He'll be bouncing all over that castle of his.  All by his lonesome. Unless some little groupie makes it into his house. He's sneaky, that one..."

Lisa could not help but kick her former sister in law under the table, even as visions of a key-ed up Michael got her own adrenaline flowing. 

Hours later, she still was a leaf on the torrent of her own adrenaline.  Getting seasick, too.  Janet and her had joked around a bit longer, while Riley had turned in.  Lisa decided to sit in the living area for a bit, waiting for her nerves to calm down.  Janet opted to go for some phone sex with her billionaire fiancé, so Lisa found herself with nothing better to do than turn the tv on.

BAD idea! Because who was jumping out of the tube but that damn little wired motherfucker.  Well, not really his fault the report was raving about the stunning come-back of the Kind of Pop..but still. She had to blame someone here.

Why, oh why could she not get him out of her system?  Didn’t she justify each torrid little encounter with just trying to exorcise him from her body and her mind?  His cock was her weapon of choice.  And each thrust killed her heart a little bit more.  Especially, as this was uncharted territory. They had been friends.  They had been lovers.  They had been married.  They had been lovers again- while being friends.  This time...this time, she had even less of a clue what was going on.  And the only person to blame was that freak show in her own mirror. 

Michael had tried to talk.  When she had popped back up like some deranged jack-in-the-box, he really had made an effort to halt her quick descent into madness. After years of her screeching, crying, pleading for him to be more verbal about his intentions, he had told her: he wanted her back. All of her.  

“Suddenly?  Why? Why now?  Why, Michael? ‘Cause I’m familiar?  ‘Cause it’s convenient?”

“Oh yeah- that’s it. It’s very convenient. You just show up and jump on my dick- only to leave me for the man you really wanna be with.”

“Don’t say that.”

“Then you tell me, Lisa! You tell me who or what you want.”

“I’m here, isn’t that clear enough?”

“No, cause before the night is out you’re gone again. It ain’t good enough anymore.  Don’t you think we deserve more?”

“Funny- cause I think we had this conversation before. When you were married to that bitch.  That crazy as fuck enabler you picked over me.”

“Not that again, Lisa... I did penance for that.”

“Of course you did. You’re a saint.”

“Are you gonna answer me?”

“Not till you answer.”

“I told you. I want you. I want us. Dammit, woman, haven’t I done enough to prove that?”

“By fucking me?”

“Christ woman, you tempt the patience of saints.”

“Why do you want me, Michael?”

“Maybe it’s less trouble than hiring an escort.”

“Fuck you!”

“That’s what you’re here for, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, that’s right. Cause I can’t get laid otherwise.”

“Not like this...seems like...”

They had stared at each other like bullfighters.  Both pissed. Both trying not to step into the old worn out shoes of their ancient patterns. 

“Fine- you’re right. So- here’s the deal. If you want this to last...this...whatever it is.  Then we play it different than in the past. It’s easy.  No pretending you care. No played up friendship. We keep this totally separate.”

“You finally lost your mind?”

“No- I told you. Separate lives.  We won’t mention this whenever we happen to run into each other during the day...”

“And what are we during the day, Lisa...”

“We’re ... I don’t know... Friends I guess. Kinda.”

“Yeah, kinda is right. You done lost your mind, girl.”

“It’s either that or I’m leaving and never looking back.”

“You’re too much.”

“Yes or no?”

“So- you sneak in here, we fuck, you leave. And then we talk about our kids’ schedules and dry cleaning during the day....”

It was an idiotic idea. It would never work. But shit- nothing else they had ever tried had ever panned out, either.  And maybe this would help her survive. Somehow.  

He had started to pace..muttering to himself.  When he stopped his face was hidden still.  

“Michael?”

“Do you need a key or will you break in?”

“I take it you accept?”

“Take your clothes off, Lisa- I’m done talking. I’m gon’ show you what I think of your little indecent proposal...”

And that had ended the talking. 

Her phone buzzed and Lisa jumped out of her skin. A text had come in. From him...

-You sleeping?

Don’t answer Lisa...don’t do it.  Turn off the phone. He’ll never know. He’ll think you’re fast asleep. With him not even being a blurb on your radar.

• L.... I bet you’re sitting there...ignoring me. Thinking of me.  Thinking of the past. You know how I get- I’m wound so tightly I’m like a loaded spring.  Everything’s loaded...

• Can’t help you with that.

Great job, ignoring him, Lisa. 

Hey- maybe if they communicated they’d both get some of that crazy energy out of them.

-Yeah, you can. I mean...it’s almost daylight. We can talk, right? 

-Not a good idea. Not day yet...

-Then maybe we need to try that other part...since its nite and all...

-Stop that. 

• ???
• !!!
• Are you in bed 4 reel?
• Real?
• Yeah, that 2.
• I’m on Jan’s couch.
• She dont have enough $ for a suite? That billionnaire must keep her on a tight leash. 

-No- Riley is in the bedroom 

• And?
• And nothing
• And u couldnt sleep. Rite?
• If I slept I wouldn’t sit here having insane text messages w you
• I need to sleep, L... But it aint gon happen
• Not while you’re textin me anyway.
• You know, your man is kinda cool
• Yeah- I noticed you got all chummy
• hey- we’re all friends right?  With a side of bad, dark, crazy ass stuff ... that we keep in the closet ;) 
• ....
• what was that?
• that was me ignoring you.
• Ah.... L- it aint day yet...
• Stop it
• I aint doin anything. Just giving you a time of day status report
• I know what ur doing- and no- I’m not gonna do it...
• K

That was it. Nothing else from him.  She stared at the screen until it became blurry. Fine! 

Lisa had taken her phone and thrown it to the other side of the couch. Oh, he was good. Pretending to accept her boundaries.  She sat there for several minutes, biting her nails, then her lips.  She glanced over. 

The phone was dark. 

Had not buzzed again.

Shit! 

No- she was not going to play his game. Wasn’t gonna happen. There! That would show him.  Show him how strong she was getting. That would teach him to mess with her.  Not like she needed him in any way.  Yes, this was great: she was getting so much better.  

The drive over to his estate took even less time than normal- traffic had trickled down to non-existence.  She went in through the back gate, entering the code she knew by heart. One sleepy looking security guy glanced at her, then waved her in.  

What was she doing? 

She got out of of the car, and felt a hand on her shoulder. Automatically she jumped.  Even while she recognized his scent.

“That was fast.” His hand massaged her shoulder as she stood there for a moment. Slowly and deliberately she turned and leaned into her car, as Michael closed the door as quietly as he could.

He took another step.  The only thing separating them some crazy, static laden molecules of air. In the darkness, she could tell he had showered.  He looked tired.  Except for that diamond spark in his eyes.  They stared at each other.

Some little night insects buzzed in the night.

Her breath caught as a cloud moved and bathed Michael in luminous moon light.  

“Hey...” Her throat felt as if she swallowed nails. Nothing his kiss couldn’t heal.

Obviously thinking along similar lines, he suddenly pulled her into him, his mouth coming down on her lips, claiming her.  He tasted of mint and cinnamon.  Desire and crazy addiction.  The taste of life.  The elixir of love.

His tongue stroked hers and breath stirred her flames. When they finally broke apart, he continued to kiss her neck, her head falling back.  Stars smeared their soft glow across the canvas of her vision.  Was she crying? 

“Let’s go...before we turn back into day creatures...” Michael kissed her once more, then grabbed her hand, pulling her along, almost running up to his bedroom suite.

When Lisa tripped on the stairs, he steadied her, then pressed her against the wall, kissing her, one hand grabbing her ass, pulling her into his already pronounced erection.  The other rested on the small of her back, pushing under her blouse...finding her bra.  

“Let’s get you to my room, baby girl... we gotta make you more comfortable...God, I want you... All night long...I looked at you in that damn skirt...” His hand grabbed the fabric, bunching it up, making it ride up her thigh.

“Mike...someone will hear... your Mom...”

“She’s in the other wing with the kids...All tuckered out... Just you and me, Princess.  Two lost souls chasing sleep...”

He had managed to open her bra, fingers burning her skin.  Hands coming around to find her ready nipples. Impatiently, Lisa pulled his head down to her.  Kissing him, her own hand went for  what she needed right now...his pulsing cock.

“Right now, I’m more interesting in chasing this...”

Michael had lifted her skirt and his fingers travelled along her panty line. “Oh yeah- I can see you had a nice time dreaming about this on the way over... Wet and ready...just like I like it..”

“Then how ‘bout you stop yacking and take it....” Lisa grabbed his dick through the material, delighting in his indrawn breath.

“Get your ass into my bedroom, woman....Now!”

Kissing her again, Michael picked her up and carried her up the last couple of stairs, hurrying toward his bedroom.  Her paradise. And her torture chamber.

MInutes later she was on the bed.  Her upper body naked. Her nipples wet and aching already from his kisses and bites.  Her skirt up around her waist. Panties long ripped off. Michael was in no mood to be patient- then again, neither was Lisa.  As a matter of fact, she was starving- needing him so badly she was close to crying. Michael was on his knees between her open and propped legs.  His face was flushed and he was staring at what was offered to him: her pussy open to him, fingers already teasing her, stroking her folds, tickling her clit. 

“Michael...” Her head  fell back, rolling helplessly from side to side.

“Hmmm”  He gave her dripping slit a languid lick, his tongue making sure to stroke her quivering bundle of nerves. with added pressure.  

Lisa bucked up against him, and he used the opportunity to cup her ass. Spreading and massaging her at the same time, he returned to biting the sensitive area around her pussy, backing off slightly, blowing on her.  

“Oh shit...please...I can’t...”Lisa whimpered, becoming overwhelmed by the intensity of the cool air on her overheated core.

When he finally moved back in, kissing her open and greedily down there as he earlier did her mouth, LIsa again arched up against him, emitting a whimper followed by a little scream as his tongue started to first rim her opening, then entered her, fucking her while eating her out.  This was simply too much.  Michael was a master at playing her, knowing how close to bring her to the edge, then pulling back a bit. Still holding her from beneath, his thumbs spread her wider before he gave her a couple of deep laps, then fastened his lips around her bud. His tongue flicking and stabbing now, before he started sucking and applying pressure at the same time.

“Oh fuck....fucking hell....” Lisa’s scream came from deep inside and her hand covered her mouth trying to muffle the eruption as she bit the back of her hand.

Her orgasm took her breath and had her gyrating against him wildly.  Michael placed one hand on her contracting abdomen, the pressure adding another layer to her frenzy.  Backing off slightly, he switched up his caresses to slow tender strokes, before he used his fingers to enter her constricting canal, firing her up again, causing her to reach the next peak without delay. 

While she was lost in sensual overdrive, Michael drank from her, easing up what he was doing, letting her ride out the second climax.  Her breathing still erratic and her body quivering, she felt he started to kiss a path up her heaving belly, taking time to pay tribute to her tightened nipples again. With great difficulty, Lisa opened her eyes and found him licking his lips, tasting her cream, making her cum almost again. He smiled.

“What?”  Her voice was dark and strained.

“You are so cute when you cum like that...all urgent like..your eyes screwed shut...totally out of control. I love it. And you taste so good when you’re wild like that...Hm, hm, hm...”

Exhausted, Lisa smiled as her head fell back, feeling the constrictions and aftershocks inside her body.  His eyes were glossy and she could tell he was turned on.  That man loved going down on her- she had actually witnessed him coming while doing it before.  And that knowledge was an even greater turn on for her.  Man- she had been so fucking hot for him...and she still was.  He might have taken the edge off, but one glance over at his dripping and straining cock got her engine roaring real quick.  Lisa propped herself up on her elbows. Michael was lost tracing her breasts, flicking her nipples.  “Look, how cute...still all hard...my baby ready for more?”

“I wanna taste you...now...”

“You’re sure you’re up for that? You look pretty tuckered out...”

Obviously, that was a rhetorical question as already scooted up on his knees, grabbing his straining rod, his fingers squeezing and tugging, making him engorge even more.

“I been ready all night...you been driving me wild up there...I don’t think you got an inkling what you do to me... When I see you looking at me... See you moving...”

Her hand descended from her belly to her swollen, dripping cooch. 

“Yeah? Did you think about touching yourself...when I moved just for you...felt myself get hard just for you...?”

Lisa reached for him and he pulled back slightly, causing her to make a little meowing sound.

“No, little cat. First you tell me.  Did you already feel this inside of you? Your mouth? Your hot little snatch...your ass... Claiming all of you. Showing you who your man really is? Did you sit there, your pussy dripping...knowing that I can dance even better inside of you?”

Nodding without given him a verbal answer, she reached down and pressed his hand against her aching heat.

“Were you wet like this, Lisa...swollen...Was your pussy getting ready to grip me with that tight hold?”

“Michael....” It wasn’t clear if his name was spoken in admission or as a plea...

Through the haze of desire and lust Lisa noticed his possessive streak.  It had not been there in a while. Not like tonight. Not like this- when he basically tore her clothes off and took care of her as only he could.  Did he really not understand that he was it for her?  That once in a life time thing? That their physical connection was only part of it all.  And yet- she knew she couldn’t succumb the the temptation of wanting all of him.  Because losing him again would kill her. So- better to try and keep that one little bit of her heart to herself, and take what she could.  Store each glorious moment in that giant mosaic lining the altar of her love for him. Because Michael had made it more than clear he could not give her what she needed.  And yet, life without him always was short of perfect. 

“Lisa... My little Lisa Marie...don’t you dare go all distant on me. You better be right here- in this moment, getting ready to take all of this.”

Forgoing his line of questioning, he obviously had decided it was time for action.  He had come closer and grabbed her head, bringing her to him. Dizzy from the wonderful scent of him, Lisa reached out, her fingers reaching around his pulsing rod.  Her mouth watered and she used her other hand to grab his still perfect ass, bringing him to her, gagging her with his fullness.  The tip of his cock hit her throat and yet she knew he wasn’t even half way in.   Her lips tightened and she swallowed, making him wince. 

“Oh shiiiiit...girl...fucking shit...That’s it... Oh yeah...”

Moaning against him, Lisa looked him, almost losing it at the sight of his thrown back head, his gorgeous neck, the beads of sweat developing on his forehead.

Michael found his rhythm as she sucked him in deeply, taking as much as she could, then pulling back, letting her head bob back and forth several times in short jabs, sucking hard, holding him, stroking him, listening to his increasing sobs and whimpers.

“Oh baby...you’re gonna drive me crazy... You do that so well. Fucking...shit...’

Michael moved over her, straddling her face now, holding on to the headboard, while her other hand also came to rest on his ass. She felt him swelling even more, tasted his salty precum, delighting in letting her tongue dip into his little hole to go after more, feeling him shiver.

“Lise...”

Lisa pulled back, grabbing him, giving his swollen red head several strong licks.

“Let go, baby... I want you to feel good.  Let go and give it to me.”

“You’ll be the death of me, Lise... But I wanna fuck you- wanna be inside you.”

“And it’s not day yet, Daddy.” She gave him a little tug, then took him back into her mouth, looking up over the flat plane of his abs into the burning glaciers of his eyes. Once again he picked up his rhythm, and she could tell he was holding back, trying not to go too crazy on her.  Man, she loved him like this. Knew it wasn’t healthy at all- understood it was all the pent up energy from the performance- and yet she felt powerful, realizing he allowed her to be the one he could let go with. The one person he could be the honest with- at least at times. At least under the cloak of their dirty little night time affair. Their glorious temple of stolen time. 

When she felt him jerking, she reached for his balls, massaging and teasing, finally causing him to relinquish any reserve.  The eruption came and she was ready, greedily drinking him in, watching him shiver and convulse, crying out her name over and over. 

Lisa pulled back causing him to leave her mouth, and his eyes flew open.  Holding him tightly, she stroked him hard, knowing he was not done cuming.  His expression changed to understanding and his face flushed even more as she continued jerking in her hand, his white cum shooting out onto her chest now, and when he pulled back, her stomach.  God, this was crazy! She should be ashamed, but this really turned her on and she was close to cuming again herself. There was something so primal about him marking her.  Especially as she would never, ever, allow any other man to do this. 

“Oh baby...shit...my dirty little princess....”  

His body was glistening with sweat. His eyes closed as he took in deep breaths, then looked down at her, his eyes dark and burning. His hair falling into his forehead. CHeeks flushed- looking so young again. 

And his cock in her hand- still not soft.  

“Well...look at that...”  Her pussy constricted, already imagining having that huge, still throbbing dick stretching her to the limit. 

“You’re gon do more than look...” He bent forward and kissed her thoroughly. His lips caressed her neck then licked and bit a path to her ear.

“Cause it sure felt...nice...getting blown by you. But fucking you and being squeezed by that tight little snatch is even better...”

She knew this was his way of paying her back for the ‘nice’ comment earlier. “Michael...you...I mean... I was ..shocked...blown away... You up there, performing again...damn... And I didn’t know how to handle that...you know I didn’t mean...”

“Lisa- it’s nite. We’re not gon’ talk about all that now.  Now, be a good girl and get on your hands and knees.  I’m ready to fuck you real good.”  Michael reached over and tore open a condom packet.  She spotted more on the nightstand...

Oh yeah- the night was young indeed.

Lisa scrambled on her knees, facing him, kissing him, her tongue enjoying the feel and taste of him.  Michael reached out and cupped her breast, while the other hand went down to the junction between her legs.

“Damn, baby...Your juices are running down your legs... And you’re swollen..let me get you ready, girl... Cause I got lots to give you.” 

Two fingers entered her just as he rolled her nipple between his fingers, then bending down to suck the other one in his mouth, tugging, then biting.  Moaning, Lisa rolled her hips, gyrating against his hand, angling herself so she got good stimulation on her clit.

“There you go...you ride that hand, baby girl...let me get you good and ready... Fuck...you’re so wet...just like I want it. You ready to get it?”

Sucking and kissing his neck, Lisa moaned against him, feeling herself approach that precipice once more.  

“Oh, yeah...shit....Michael...”

Slowly withdrawing his fingers, he got off the bed, pulling her to him by the neck one more time to kiss her hard and hungrily. 

“No turn around. I want you on all fours, baby girl.”  He almost growled, urging her down, while stroking his dick, coating himself with his precum.  

Lisa obliged and positioned herself at the edge of the bed, her ass jutted out. She looked back at him. “Like that, Daddy? Is that good?”

“Oh fuck, yeah...Let me see that ass all nice and out...Spread your legs a bit...There you go, that’s my girl. Now I see that weeping, swollen pussy, real good...”

Michael cupped her ass and palmed it. First keeping the caress soft and teasing, then using his other hand as well, grabbing both asscheeks harder, massaging, spreading her.  When his thumb stroke up her slit, she shivered. Using her juices, he traced her pouting labia, then went higher and found her little hole, making her squeal.

“Remember what I said, Lise...?  It’s all mine... Every single part of you.  His finger teased the opening and she moaned from the dirty pleasure.  Oh yeah. This man knew everything about her, and it was no use pretending otherwise.  

“Yeah, look at that...Look at your pussy creaming more... You like this.. And maybe it’ll be time soon to show you just how much I know about you...”

Lisa could already feel the sweet pleasure on her tongue again...her mouth watered and she knew full well she was ready to go off any second.

She felt him stall and looked back to see him pulling the condom over his straining dick.  He looked as if he was in pain.  God- she needed him inside so badly...

“Fuck me...come on...I need to feel you fucking me....please...”

“Oh, I like it when you beg, girl. Ready?”

“I been ready..”

Michael smacked her ass just enough to make it sting.  

“Ouch!”

One more little slap and she dipped forward on her elbows, feeling the quivering inside starting to spread.

“You’re such a bad little thing.  You better get ready for the pounding of a life time...”

Michael positioned his sheathed dick at her opening, rubbing it around the already sensitized flesh.

Letting go, he gripped her ass and spread her once more, then, as she held her breath, he finally entered her in one long stroke, causing her to scream out his name as snowflakes started to dance before her eyes.

“Fuck..Oh God...Lisa...you’re so damn hot...so tight.....You alright?”

Lisa nodded, her head between her arms, her whole body starting to shake.  Michael was always big..but tonight he was extra loaded.  God- the adrenaline did something to him that was beyond crazy.  He was in her to the hilt, and she thought she would pass out from both the pain and pleasure.  

“You’re so huge...holy fuck...”

“Babe...you better adjust...cause I gotta move...and this ain’t gon’ be slow...or tender...” Bending forward, he kissed her neck, then slowly started to pull back, making her feel every ripple and ridge of his gigantic cock as her muscles protested the withdrawal.  When all that was left was his head, he rounded his hips and rammed back into her, forcing another scream from her, as her started to see stars and an enormous orgasm took her on a while ride while Michael, his hands on her hips, rammed into her over and over.  Pushing and moving back against him hard, she was not sure if she was entangled in one enormous climax or a never ending stream.  

At some point, she felt him slow down as he rubbed her glistening back.  

“Girl...you ‘bout squeezed me to death there. Glad I’m not on the bed cause you would’a pushed my ass off...”

“Shit....,” was all she managed to pant out.  Moving against him, she knew he was still as hard as before.

“What ‘bout you...”

“Getting there...just enjoying you going all wild with me... I missed that, Lise...”

Michael reached forward, cupping her breast, playing with it.  He brought her up and against him once again speeding up his pace, making her moan from the change in angle as he hit a spot inside that once again released that burning spiral inside.  Damn...

She noticed that he took it a bit slower this time, moving against her in longer strokes, while kissing her neck, her mouth, her shoulders, playing with her breasts, then bringing one hand down to cup her.

When he touched her clit, she whimpered once more tortured by the screaming of her oversensitized nerves.  Just when she thought he’d make her cum again, he withdrew, holding on to himself, while motioning for her to lay down.  Still standing by the bed, he pulled her toward him, holding her legs up and apart so they came to rest against his shoulders.

“Ready...Play with that pussy girl..I wanna see your little fingers down there...yeah..just like that...”

Watching him watch her, Lisa used her pouring honey to coat her clit, circling  and rubbing the little nubbin. 

“You like that, don’t you... Do you lay there at night, Lise, rubbing that cunt, imagining I’m there...”

“Maybe...” Her eyes were fixed on his throbbing cock, willing him to give it to her once more.

Letting her fingers in on the play, she entered herself, watching him swallow. “Okay...enough of that...” With that, he entered her hard, lifting her against him, having her all open to him once more.  Using his hips as only he could, he alternated straight hard jabs with those rounded movements driving her crazy, and within minutes, she was ready once more.  Michael used one of his hands to come over hers, urging and moving her fingers against her clit while he continued to fuck her. His other hand was under her ass, and he found her little hole once more, fingering it before entering her, causing her to fly into the stars, creaming, this time not even bothering to cover her mouth. 

Filling her in two places, he let her ride out her waves, then removed his hands and just held her in place as he fucked her straight into yet another climax.  When he made her cum for the last time, pounding into her so hard she saw stars, he snarled at her before he shot his load, “Is that nice, Lisa?  You feel that? You feel what you do to me?  Oh shit...fucking..oh God...”  He bore into her and she felt him jerking and expanding inside, while her own insides continued to shake, making it difficult to focus on anything but her own high and this man stretching her beyond belief. 

Tired and worn out, sore and sated beyond belief, she almost fell asleep when he held her close after he finally softened inside her. “Now, this is nice, girl..” Michael nuzzled her neck, before he got up, took care of himself, then came back, holding her closely. As Lisa forced her eyes to stay open- afraid to lose any one moment with him.  Afraid time would steal him from her arms.

Lisa did not know how she had managed to- but somehow she tore herself away from him, as always leaving a peace of herself behind.  How often could she escape the snapping teeth of his trap before she’d run out of limbs to chew off?  To be fair, he didn’t make it difficult. Not with words.  But his eyes were a different story. And his mood was more than sullen.

“Can I say how much I wish you’d stay?”

“Don’t.  Please...”  God..she wanted to cry.  

“Oh yeah, sorry. Against the rules. Guess we’re back to being buds. Don’t forget your panties, buddy.”

Really, she could not even be mad at him.  She knew he was hurting.  

“Shit- you fucking tore them off. They’re pretty much useless.”

Michael smiled a shit eating grin. “Oops...?”

Lisa rolled her eyes and stuffed her tattered underwear into her purse.  What was it with him and her panties lately?

“Oh, Lise...And don’t you worry- no one will wonder why you’re walking funny.”

How could she help but laugh. “You’re too much, you know?”

“Well...obviously.”

Lisa flipped him off and then turned, her hands on the door knob. No, she couldn’t do this.  This was Michael. Her heart.  

Blinded by tears, she turned back, almost stormed up to him, kissing him. Tasting her own despair on his lips.

God- it hurt so much.  Leaving him was an exercise in self mutilation. And yet it had to be done. It was the life she had chosen. The little bit of heaven waiting at the descend into hell.  

For now... Till he casts you aside.  Cause he will. He always does.  You better be ready and you better be smart, Lisa.

Well, she wasn’t too smart. Had waited almost too long. The sun was way out when she finally snuck back into the hotel suite.  The vampire was about to turn to dust.   Fuck- why had she not even bothered to change her clothes before she had left? Talk about a walk of shame! Well- they had a late night, surely Janet and Riley were still asleep.

Ever so quietly, Lisa entered the suite.  And found her efforts were totally redundant. Both Janet and Riley were on the phone when she entered. Dammit. And both stopped in mid sentence.

Janet found her voice first. “Never mind, Mikey. Mystery solved. Yes, you were right- she’d turn up any minute. Funny how you knew that.  Later...”

Janet raised an eyebrow, obviously trying to not burst out laughing, her eyes taking in Lisa’s disheveled appearance and ginger walk. 

“Hey, Lise...So happy you could make it. To breakfast...or almost lunch... You look...like hell. And why you’re walkin’ funny?” the last comment was whispered to her as Janet came up to hug her. 

“Fuck you!” Lisa hissed into her ear.

“Well, I wish...but you seem to have that market covered...”

Riley raised her hand to shush them. “What..oh sorry. No, Mom just walked in. I think she ah...went to get the paper.”  Riley looked at her sternly.  Did the roles just got switched on Lisa?

Janet covered her mouth to not burst out laughing, earning her a warning look from Lisa.

“Yes, Mike. I’ll let her know. Mom- Lockwood said Good Morning and he will talk to you after you had some coffee.”

“Gimme the phone, Riley- thank you.”  The least she could do was make sure her twins were okay.  God- what a horrible person she had become.

“Hey...”

“Morning, Lise.  Riley sounded freaked out, she said she hadn’t seen you this morning.”

“Ahhh. Yeah. You know me. Couldn’t sleep past six and I went downstairs to grab some coffee. Sorry, I should have left a note. How are my babies?”

“They miss you- I miss you, too, Lisa. You sure you’re okay? You sound...distracted.”

“No, just tired. Not used to being up so late. Please kiss the girls. We’ll be home in no time.”

“Sadly, we’re getting used to you being gone.” He sounded testy.  

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Her own tone was now defensive and aggressive.

“Nothing... See you soon. Love you.”

“Yeah... Ditto.”

Silence on the line. It was too soon... She couldn’t say it. Not now...

“Okay...Later.” Lockwood had every right to sound as remote as he did.  He’d sound even worse if he’d known she was too numb to care.

“Later...”

Hanging up, she handed the phone back to Riley.

“So- Lisa- went to get the paper?  Guess you must have fallen asleep in your clothes...right?”

Janet did her best to keep a straight face, clearly not believing a word.

And so, here she was, only days later..waiting for him to excuse himself and not show up at her house.  They hadn’t talked much. Not beyond him sending a quick text, asking if she was okay.  And her texting back a quick “not really.”

“Mom- didn’t he say if he’d show or not?”

The main party was over and most guests had left. Surely, not even the master of late arrivals would show up this late.  

“Riley,- why are you bugging me? Why would I know what Michael’s plans are? He barely talks to me.”

Riley’s expression showed that she didn’t really buy that. Even though it was true.  Ever since the morning of the opening he had been more than taciturn in his texts- and she had not dared to call him.  Everything was so damn painful. Walking on glass all the time- like she had said herself- all from her own ability to smash everything to bits. 

“Is that face supposed to mean something?”
“No, not at all. I’m sure you know what you’re doing.”

“Riley if you got something to say, just say it.”

“I don’t know, Mom. I’m just getting these weird vibes from you. And then Janet said something interesting.”

Of course she did. Why oh why had she left Riley with that blabbermouth?

“LIke what?”

“I can’t recall it verbatim. But something ‘bout how she thinks the end of certain love stories hasn’t been written yet.”

“Janet must have been talking about herself- You know she’s getting married.” 

Riley studied her for a second with an expression beyond her age. Actually, the look gave LIsa goosebumps as in that moment her baby looked so much like her own father.  With Ben the resemblance was so in your face- but Riley had a lot of her father’s soul as well. And when it came through it stunned her.

“I doubt it. Because she was also talking about how June Carter saved Johnny Cash’s life...”

“Well...that’s random.” Janet needed to stop watching Walk the Line and start investing in a show called Mind Your Own Business starring Janet Jackson. 

“No, Mom, not really. I think Janet still hopes that you and Michael will get together.  That you will save him.”

“Well, that’s typical scatter brain Jan. Because, I am married already- so our getting back together times are gone. Plus- he doesn’t need saving. He’s fine.”

“Talking to her, I got the feeling she wasn’t so sure about that.”

“Riley- she’s his sister. She worries. But you saw him...he was great.”

If only her light tone could convince her own fears.  

“Yeah, guess so. I was talking to Judith and she said he’s so different from how he was in early June. So, it’s probably nothing..”

Lisa stopped cold. “What’s nothing?”

“I wasn’t gonna say anything, but Judith also said he’s been a bit odd again this week. That they think the stress from the opening got to him. Guess he called out sick when he was supposed to be there yesterday.”

Lisa’s heart dropped right into her stomach. Leaving a huge crater.

“Odd like how?  More odd than normal odd? Or sick odd... Or what?”
“Mom! Don’t go frantic. I’m sure it’s nothing. I mean, he would have said something to you if he wasn’t feeling well, right?  You guys are friends and all again... RIght?”

No, wrong. He never in a million years would have told her.  Even if they were speaking regularly. Which they weren’t.

“Right... Hey- ah...Imma gonna go over to the studio for a quiet moment. Do you mind? If Lucky looks for me, please let him know where I went.”

Riley looked at her in that worried way. “You okay, Mom?”

“Just a little headache from all the commotion.”

Sneaking out the back to avoid bumping into anyone, Lisa made it to her studio.  Safety and serenity! Finally! She closed the  door and was surrounded by nothing but silence.  

Maybe fiddling with some of her songs that needed finishing, she’d get him off her mind.  Why was she freaking out anyway? She had just seen him and he was peachy.  Well...several days ago.  And he was high on adrenaline.  So...would she really have known if anything was amiss?  There were people who got their limbs cut off and don’t feel it while they are in shock.  What if days later he noticed that he wasn’t a spring chicken anymore?  What if his fears returned even though the opening went off without a hitch?  Dammit... she knew him so frigging well. Including the way he thought.  Nothing went wrong- but to him that might mean it was now a step closer to the point when chaos would strike. And Michael’s interpretation of chaos differed from hers.  For him, almost dying from acute propofol intoxication was not nearly as bad as a missed step or a not one hundred percent perfect turn.  And when his anxiety got up- his physical pain also elevated.  Causing him to freak out more- and reach for methods to make everything- the pain and the anxiety- go away. 

No- he’s changed.... he’s learned his lesson.... Now, if only her rational mind would convince her idiotic fears! 

Come on Lisa..you came here to get him off your mind.

Right.

Lisa loaded her song Heartless.

That secret, inner voice shook it’s head. Yeah...maybe there was no way to get him totally off her mind. 

Funny, cause that particular song title had so many meanings.  He had called her heartless so often when hurling accusations of her hurting him, leaving him, not believing him.  When she had refused to carry his child while things were shaky- and when she had turned and left after she learned Deb was pregnant.  While Lisa had been under the impression that they were working things out.  She was heartless for not wanting to wait anymore for him to change.  For listening to outsiders... No- each and every one of those times she had only been scared. Petrified to be used by him.  Faithless- but not heartless.  The heartless part had not come into play until she turned and found she was alone. That he had really gone.  And all that remained was an empty space in her chest. Heart less at its finest.

“I wish I’d been a runner so I could run from you.

I made a million wishes but not one of them came true...”

Please, God...I know our relationship is so new again.  And I am fucking up left and right. But, at least I know it. That’s good, right?  I got self awareness.  I am wishing, no, I am praying: please let him be alright.

Obviously, her prayer was ridiculous. Because, how could he be alright?  He had told her what he thought of their involvement. It was wrong.  They shalt not covet thy neighbor’s husband or wife... Even if it was your own ex-wife or ex-husband.  What was she doing?  What kind of evil was she?  To try and make him act against his convictions?

LIsa, don’t be an idiot. He seemed to be quite the enthusiastic participant. 

Yes, he had been. Probably because he had managed to emotionally detach from her. But that’s where danger could sneak in. When he broke away. When he iced her out.  When she could not protect him from himself anymore. 

Which wasn’t her job anymore.

And yet, more and more she discovered it was her calling.

I would have been your priestess, but I tripped on my robe.

That’s it. She had to know. Maybe if she just came out and asked him what was up straigh on?  Maybe he’d be surprised.  Pulling out her phone she saw she missed a text.

-On our way. Sorry, we ran late. Had a blinding headache and waited for the aspirin to work. 

Aspirin? Her own head started to pound.  

-Ben will be thrilled. 

-At least someone will.

-Lockwood also is all excited

-Please keep him from humping my leg

Lisa smiled. He was a nut. And he sounded okay.

-Will try my best. -Jan with you?

-Dunk flew the coup. Her  + my little princess didn’t hit it off. She can’t stand to not be the only diva round. Dunk that is. And Paris, too- I guess

Well...that was a mixed blessing. Lisa missed Janet, but she was not up for her snide remarks around her family. It would be stressful enough with all the kids there...

What Lisa? Thinking about the family as it should have been?

No...not at all.

-You feeling ok?

-Told you - headache. 

-Nothin else?

-Why- you gonna play doctor?

-Stop that

-sory. Wrong time of day. 

-Not funny.

-No sh...

She waited a minute, not sure how to address his displeasure at the current state of affairs. Or affair. Funny, how he never had a problem with it when it was he who was married.  Old resentments took over like ink spreading in water.

-If you got a problem with how things r mayb its time to make a change...

Lisa stared at the typing bubble...awaiting his response.  There, Michael. Here is your way out.  

-MayBe...

And here was the spear in her heart. Stupid, stupid, stupid woman! Will you ever learn to not throw out ultimatums to him?

-L- we gotta talk. Soon.

About? About her love for him that would never change?  About the fact that she was working on accepting her addiction?  And still could not break away?  That she had built a life, had a husband who loved her, two babies who depended on her- a perfect life- and still could not resist his siren’s call?   Or worse- that call inside herself? That she was deathly afraid of the certainty that if she risked everything to be with Michael, that he would not want her?  That he wanted a ghost...Or some idea of her that never had been congruent with the real Lisa. 

 The truth was she didn’t blame him anymore.  She had looked deep into the dark well of her soul and read the leaves shaken loose by too many storms: she was fundamentally deficient.  He was pure and good- Yes, fucked up and crazy and at times self destructive.  His pain stemmed from living in a world totally foreign to his very being. A world of egocentric assholes.  Of users and opportunists praying to the gods of money.  Jealousy was their code of living- they derived more power by tearing down what they could not understand.  And she had been one of them. For too long had she been unable to understand his desire to be a healer. Yes, he had faults: he was impatient and flew too the sun too often. And still... She understood that what she had called selfishness was his defensive mechanism to heal his pain.  Had she believed in that..had she had faith and believed in his love without the weakness exploited and expanded by poisonous words and intentions, maybe all this shit could have been dodged. So, where once she had blamed him...she now knew she was deeply flawed herself. And because of this basic deficiency it would never work between them.  She could never be pure like him.  So, why not bathe in his sunlight before the dark, cold night set in?  It was like having one more piece of candy before going on the eternal diet. 

Lisa sighed. Yes, the had to talk. But not by text. And certainly not with an audience at her house. 

-See you when you get here. Drive carefully

-Will tell the driver. 

Burying her head in her hands, Lisa let lose a small cry of frustration, which, much to her surprise, lead to a series of gutted sobs and a stream of tears... 

And a small, glimmering voice in her head...

But what if it did... What if it could work?  That kind of love.  The killing kind- the healing kind... Can you really throw it back?

Except it was obsession on her part. So deep, it was unhealthy.  And on his...

Routine...comfort...

Basically, she was his fuzzy, stinky, baby blanket that lived deep in his closet and no one knew about.  And yet it chased away the monsters under the bed.  Great!

Sniffling in defiance, Lisa pushed the button again.  Whatever was loaded- it was better than listening to the cacophony of her thoughts .

“I’ve seen her face..it’s okay.. it ain’t nothin big..”

Well, good...that was perfect.  Lisa heard a part that captured her attention and played with the controls, trying to adjust some things- making mental notes to talk to her sound director about some changes. 

Pretty soon, Lisa lost herself in the song, smiling at her own crazy words.  Man- that song had been such an exorcism! So much bitterness and sarcasm... 

Whole-heartedly, she sang along to her own world. “You hope there’s no bad blood, you want to be my friend...to say hi to. You know there’s very bad blood and you were never my friend to say hi to...Can it be...”

As her music drifted off, she smiled to herself. Oh yeah. That one was fun.  The question that remained was could she dare to unleash all this sarcasm onto an unsuspecting public? And Michael...Even if no one would get it. He would. What would his reaction be?

“Damn! That’s harsh...”

Lisa whirled around, her heart pounding.  What the fuck?  He almost scared her to death! 

How? When?  How long?

Her face was beet red.  She felt like when she had broken into Daddy’s wine cellar and he had caught her.

Michael peeled himself away from the wall he had been leaning against and -quite uninvited- sat  down next to her at the controls. 

“Why would you think I ever was over you, Lisa? And when did you write this?”

Lisa stopped playback.  She should be upset he automatically assumed this was about him. But hey... 

“No, really..I wanna hear more.”

“I’m sure you do, Mister Nosy, but I told you before I’m not letting anyone listen to it before it’s released. Hello, Michael, by the way. So good of you to finally stop by.  Only I don’t recall inviting you in here.”

Michael raised an eyebrow and ignored her. 

“She’s cool in a gap-tooth hippy sort of way?” The recap of her lyrics was accompanied by a smirk.

Okay- so he had been standing there for most of the song. And if you lived the history you certainly were familiar with the players.  Especially the gap-toothed ones you were married to.

“I thought saying she looks like a troll and an Oompa-Loompa had a kid would be uncalled for.”

“Why would you hate on Oompa Loompas? What they ever do to you?”

“Fine- a troll and a cow.-  But really- how did you get in? There’s a combination on the door.”

“Uhum...Obviously.  But Lisa, you are your worst security risk.  You never do change... Does Lucky know that 052694 is not a random number?”

Dammit, of course Michael would figure that out. Even though at times it was a surprise he remembered that day at all.  Their anniversary.   The torture rack of too many sleepless nights.  Images that still caused her to wake up sobbing.  So much hope...to never be realized.  Sunshine turned to pure shit. 

“He knows it’s his lucky number as it ultimately led to him and me.” Lisa crossed her arms in front of her and leaned back, glaring at Michael, still not believing he just showed up like that.  Ambushed her. 

“Ouch. Are you more testy than normal? That special time of the month of something I did? And here I was just about to tell you how I love that new sound of yours.”

“Gee- thanks.  You weren’t s’posed to hear my new sound or any sound.  I want this to be under wraps till it’s time.”

“Hey- what’s some good old ex wife bashing among friends?”

“I am not bashing her... And by the way- maybe you just infer meaning where there is none.”

Michael laughed and threw his head back. “Yeah- that must be it.”

When he was done being amused, he started to mess with her controls. 

“Keep your hands to yourself, Jackson. I done told you, you ain’t gon’ get to listen to anything else.” Leaning over, Lisa pushed his long fingers away.

“What’s the big deal?  What else don’t you want me to know? Who else did you fry?  Me, Deb...c’mon on, spill. You know you suck at keeping secrets from me.”

Yeah, no joke. He had that particular market covered.

Once again, he tried to mess with the buttons.  Lisa grabbed his hand with both of hers.

His skin felt ice cold.

“Damn- you’re freezing. You okay?”  Immediately, she tried to read his face- which was hard to do, given he wore glasses. Which was also not a great sign. Sunshine was very limited in her dark studio with the lights turned down low. 

“Why?”  She felt his eyes on her despite the mirrored barrier.

“Your hands are freezing.”

“Cold hands, warm heart.  Very warm. Burning....burning for you, Miss Lisa Marie.”

That little twitch in the corner of his gorgeous mouth gave away that he was indeed making fun of her. As always. No doubt one of the highly skilled attempts to throw her off some scent....  Question was, what was it this time?

“Stop bullshitting.” The tingling from feeling his skin under hers spread up her arms and infused her torso with warmth. 

Michael pulled one hand from underneath and covered her much smaller fingers.

“You are my joy, my best of joy...” he sang, giving her goosebumps.

Damn him and his distractions.

“Cut the crap!”

“What?” He laughed. “How do you know I’m bullshitting?”  His voice turned to a dusky whisper.

The tingling was pulled to her lap by his magnetism.  Damn him.

“Cause it’s not the time to talk like that and I know you ain’t breaking the rules.”

Michael started to bite his lip. Good. She ticked him off.  Mentioning the rules usually did that. 

“Just because you only show your honest feelings when you're cuming around me doesn’t mean I can’t be telling you how I feel.” Michael had bent forward and was whispering those words into her ear.  Causing a significant rush of heat.  And moisture.  

Before he sat back, he kissed her cheek, his lips lingering a tiny bit longer than was necessary.

Lisa was still stunned by his words... What was he saying?  

Lisa- dimwit. Wake up. You spotted something was off with him and he threw you off that track. Duh...

Well- she didn’t like the turn of events.  Not when it made her throat constrict and her heart expand.  Not when she was still recovering from his invasion of her safety zone.  Not when sitting next to him in a studio felt so damn familiar.  And so right. 

“If your’e ready to cut the crap- you wanna hear a song? And if I let you hear one more, will you get the heck out of here?  Have you even seen Ben? I mean, that’s why you came, right? To see Ben. And, I thought you brought the kids?”

There were still in each other’s space.  Eye to shades.  Michael seemed to study her.  His face a calm mask again.  She was so close, she could spot his afternoon stubble.  Her hands itched to cradle his face and to feel his skin.  She had to bite her lips to keep down the urge to kiss him and feel the sweet abrasion against her mouth. 

Suddenly, Michael smiled, then grinned.  He raised her hand to his mouth, kissing it, fulfilling her wish to enjoy both the softness of his lips and the rasping of his beard. 

“Okay, Princess. You win this time. But this conversation is not over.  Yes, I would love the honor of hearing one more song. And yes, I will get the heck out of here if you accompany me.  Yes, I have spoken to Ben when I got here.  My mother came with me, and she and the kids were hijacked by Danielle and Ben promising them to show off the lake you got.  - Any more questions?”

“Yeah- did you get lost and fell into a rabbit hole that ended in my studio?”  

She attempted to pull her hand back, but Michael held on tight, studying her fingers, using his own to trace the outlines.  Little bombs of pleasure turned her insides into a nuclear disaster zone. 

“Oh, is that how it works here? Cool! But no, silly. I asked Benjamin Storm where you were and he very helpfully pointed me the right way.”

God, how she loved the way he said her children’s names.... Like they were the most beautiful poems... It stirred something inside.

“Good thing you didn’t ask Ri... I think she suspects something?”

Michael laughed. “Oh, well, yeah- she would.  She ain’t no dummy.  And she probably by now also put all the stories about why Michael was in Mommy’s bed together.”

Lisa could not suppress a smile. Yeah...oh God...the nonsense they had come up with on so many mornings when the kids had busted them.  After another broken resolution to not stay over... After another fire of hope had been lit. Only to be doused later by the deluge of circumstance.

Her smile died.

“Yeah- we gotta be...” 

“Gotta be what, Lisa Marie?”

She hated to discuss this. Hated to mix their two lives and blur the lines.  Just like it was in the past...when she had tried so hard this time to keep everything separate.

Yeah...because friendship with Michael and fucking Michael have ever been two separate entities. Queen of Denial...

Lisa cleared her throat.  “More careful...”

Michael looked around, then turned to her in mock surprise. “Are we actually discussing,” his voice dropped to a conspiratory whisper, “ you know what?”  He looked around as if he was afraid to be jumped on.  Lisa was well aware he was making fun of her.

Jerking her hand back finally, Lisa dropped back in her chair and glared at him.

“Do you wanna listen to a song or are we ready to head back?”

“No- by all means. Thrill me with the wit of your razor-sharp tongue, Miss Presley. I cannot wait to see whom you have devoured in other masterpieces.”

“Oh, I think some folks will be very surprised...”  Again, she chose to ignore his crystal clear sarcasm, as she looked over at the computer display, trying to figure out what was safe enough to play for him.

It was silly,really. She knew full well he’d listen to it all when she released the album.  Still..by then, she would have had time to prepare herself for his reaction.  Now....now, she was raw and unnerved by his sudden appearance.  As, she was certain, he had planned on. 

Michael got up and came up behind her. 

“Play that one...” He pointed to a title.

“Why?”

Actually, that was not a bad choice. 

“Cause it matches my Unbreakable.”

“Yes, Michael. The world is all about you.”

His hands came to rest on her shoulders. “Your world used to be about me. Or at least so you said...”

Why did he have to say things like that...Things that ripped her open with surgical precision?  Making it difficult to not drip over her hanging guts through the curtain of tears.

“Stop talking...start listening... Oh, you should hear how I pound the drums on this one...”

“I like when we talk.  Lisa...?”

Lisa froze.  His tone warned her he was about to drop another bomb on her already skeletal bunker.

“I miss us, you know...talking...like this.... I really do... Miss you ...miss us...being like....like this...”

Before tears would hit her constricting throat, she hit play and her voice filled the space, granting her a short reprieve to collect herself.  Once again he hit the bullseye.  Even though they were bantering, the way they just spent the last minutes was a wonderful, small island of old memories.  A time out.  Created by opportunity and fate, maybe.  A reminder how they used to be.  And yet- an illusion that could not survive the light of the real world.  Glittering pieces of dust creating a canvas of color and beauty in the dark- pieces that would disperse as soon as the doors to reality were thrown open and harsh light of day would override any remaining delusion.

Reality.  The place she had to remain in.  Whereas Michael was at home in the land of fables.  Neither could survive in the world of the other.  No matter how enticing short glimpses proved to be. 

Michael stayed behind her while the song played. When it ended, silence spread like some deadly poison.  Invisible.  Stealing her breath.  Causing her heart to frantically attempt to fuel her lungs, making it first difficult then impossible to breathe.

Michael reached down and in a surprise move, turned her chair toward him. Lisa remained frozen.  Afraid to move.  Terrified to look up. Slowly, he crouched down.  When at eye-level, he reached up, and- almost in slow motion- removed his shades. 

Not prepared for what she might find, Lisa kept her eyes lowered now.  Really, she didn’t know why.  But it felt as if she had been laid out on some altar, bared to his judgment.  This was stupid- what did she care what he thought?

Michael reached out and tipped her chin up. 

“Lise...I so love your new music.  And your voice has gotten real strong. Wow...girl...you blow me away.  It’s...I can’t describe it....but I felt it.  Felt it so deep.  This is really the sound for you.”

Lisa felt her cheeks blush. Clearing her throat again, she attempted to find her voice.  Man, she never could handle praise anyway...and when it was coming from him, it was even harder to take. 

“Hey- cool. Thanks...I’m glad you liked it.”

“No, loved it.  So...Lisa...” His voice deepened again, became a whisper.

“Hm....?”  The air had turned to static, as he leaned in closer.

“What do you wish to un-break?”

They stared at each other. 

Us...you...my heart...your heart... the paper-thin crystal ball that held our dreams...But mostly you, who had to find out that you are not unbreakable at all.  That evil was able to almost destroy you...

“Lisa....” Michael reached out and touched her cheek ever so softly.

“Hey- Lisa...there you are...You won’t guess...” 

Michael and Lisa flew apart like two teenagers caught under the bleachers by the principal.  With the exception that the role of the principal was played by none other than her husband.  Who had stopped cold at the entrance of the room.  Staring down at Lisa in a mixture of surprise and disbelief.

Before she had a chance to say one word, the next surprise was delivered into her hand.

“Michael- did you find her?  Oh, good... Oh my....What in the world?” The woman stopped dead cold next to her son-in law, whom she had addressed. 

Before Lisa could figure out what the hell had just happened, Michael straightened and put his glasses on, knowing full well his former mother in law would not remain speechless much longer.

His hand again resting on Lisa’s shoulder, he seemed to be amazingly calm.

“Hello, Priscilla- What a surprise to run into you again...”

(to be continued)

©2013 Erika B Michaels. All Rights Reserved. This story is a work of fiction. Any names, places, and other identifying features are used in a fictional manner, for entertainment purposes only, and are in no way representative of actual events. This work may not be reproduced, copied, transmitted, or stored without expressed written permission by Erika B Michaels. All photos and images, mentioned songs or song titles are copyright their creators. ABSOLUTELY no disrespect is intended to any persons portrayed in this work.