Afterlife 18 - Final Chapter and Epilogue - part 3 updated 1/11/15

18

Author's note: This is the last chapter of this seeming endless story. And since I had quite a bit to wrap up, I decided to post in three parts.
Part three was added Sunday, January 11- Look for the UPDATE HERE in red as you scroll down. 
At the end of the last chapter, we found there was quite a lot that had happened in the past two + years- including a baby for Michael and Lisa.  Part one starts with Michael's Point of View... No worries- I have the whole chapter (all 65 pages) written and will post the next installment within the next few days. Thank you for reading, commenting, and for your eternal patience with me. This was a long, crazy ride- and I feel a certain sadness to put this baby to bed.  But I hope you enjoyed it! Much Love for 2015! 

Part One: Michael

The air had certainly been sucked from the room. Michael forced himself to breathe. There they were. His whole world before him.  So close…and yet so distant.  The stars illuminating his very being.  How often had he thought he could reach out and touch them before his hand grasped the great empty space giving plenty of fertile ground to fear, doubts, and the ever present separation? Well, one part of his world was distant anyway, while the other, physical smaller, but nonetheless essential part, was in his arms, showering him with her wet baby kisses, clinging to him as if she didn’t just leave him less than an hour ago.  His baby girl. His heart.  Asha Michael Presley Jackson. His miracle, his hope, his everything.  As always when he looked at her or thought about her, love stretched his heart to the point of pain.  The one thing he thought would be denied to him had come and delivered him from darkness. Almost reverently, he kissed her cheek again, inhaling her baby scent, holding her securely while she wiggled and squirmed.  His little Wiggles. One little arm was wrapped around his neck- while her little hand stayed connected to her mother, not letting her go. Yeah, he knew how she felt.  

Her mother. His special girl. The woman of his dreams and nightmares.  His Lisa Marie. Who’s initial surprise was now tinted with a hint of vinegar and piss, if he read the fire in those blazing blue eyes and the pout right.  Oh, Lisa's pout...how he had missed seeing it in person. On her. Because Asha also already sported it quite prominently if she was displeased.  And those eyes. Those enigmatic, fascinating flames, keeping him awake so many nights. Infusing him with warmth- and burning him as he continued to reside in his current purgatory of not being with this crazy ass, obstinate, infuriating woman. Shooting daggers at him. She might hide under tons of make-up, but he knew his girl.  His love.  The stubborn little woman he needed in his life more than he needed to breathe.  All he had to do was to convince her to stop running from her life.  From him. Because this madness had continued long enough, and frankly, they weren't getting any younger.

Everyone staring -or trying not to stare as people politely picked up their side conversations again following the initial blast of silence,-was unnerving and he felt himself blushing. 

Nowhere to hide, Mike. Full steam ahead. Keep the target in mind.  Her. Lisa. 

This was not exactly the entrance he had been shooting for, but heaven had sent little Alecia who had insisted he - how had she put it; “stop being a cry baby and get your head out of your ass- Go for it. And do it now!.” Well, he could have interjected that it wasn't exactly  he who was suffering from with the trans-rectal cranium syndrome, but whatever, it got him out of his own way and it forced Lisa to face him.  Good plan, sort of.  Actually, Michael could not exactly recall what his brilliant plan had been. Despite having had a pretty good roadmap. And a pretty good ally.  But damn, when the rubber hit the road and he was actually there…saw Lisa, heard her songs…he suddenly was not so sure he could do this at all. And Lisa would probably have quite a problem with his method.  Oh well, fair was fair: he had a problem with her methods all the time. But to see her, to hear her. As confident as he had been earlier, now, he was truly shaken.

Especially after the reality of her there on stage, singing about her love for him had literally left him in a trance.  It was one thing to know her songs. Even though some had quite literally knocked him down when he had popped the disc in; especially I Was Wrong and Just a Dream. Still… It was quite another to hear her unique voice as it hit you squarely in your gut.  The way she performed: hiding yet revealing it all.   Her live performance exceeded even the honesty of the recordings.  The pain, the depth of her feelings, the sadness and desperation had left him paralyzed.  And feeling helpless.  Because he had the answer.  The cure. The solution to healing.  Now all he had to do was translate that into a language Lisa was able- or ready to hear.

So…the plan… All he had to do was to get her alone.  Get her to take a good hard look at her life.  And while doing so he had to sort of tone down that he had thoroughly had it with Lisa’s bullshit. Her avoidance.  Her contestant excuses why she could not talk to him in person about their daughter. Her sending her children, his sisters, his mother, hell, even her mother to run interference, picking up or delivering their child. Which made things way too complicated. As if this coparenting shit wasn't hard enough.  Not like he hadn’t had to adjust. New territory for him.  And yet, he had done just that: adjusted. Not a one man show anymore. Wasn’t that what she had accused him of being?  Well, he had changed. Could she maybe have the common decency to acknowledge all those difficult modifications he had achieved over the short course of two plus years? It wasn’t about him anymore.  It was about them. They shared a daughter.  He wanted Lisa to be part of that- not just separately, but very much together. This was not Deb...not some business deal.  The baby was a seal of their love...a precious bond.  Too bad he was the only one who seemed to see that. Or maybe, Lisa was the only one who didn’t see that, seeing other people were actually surprisingly supportive.  Even people on her side.  While Lisa was- well, difficult. Downright impossible, actually! 

For weeks now, they had battled through their lawyers about him and his kids joining the rest of team Presley for Asha’s second birthday- and Lisa, being oh so fucking kind, finally had agreed to allow extra time beforehand, in exchange for him not being in Memphis with his daughter.  For her birthday… As if that was gonna fly, but fine, he played along for a minute, mostly to stall and figure out why in the world she would ban him from that important day. At first he thought his lovely ex mother in law was to blame, but then he found out through Riley that that was not the case at all.  It was Lisa.  Running amok.  Keeping their daughter from him.  Or so one might want to interpret if one were suspicious. Then he thought some more- and started to see right through her. 

He had long figured out this crazy business was not about not wanting Asha to be near her father.  Actually, it was that she, Lisa, was running scared to having him close by. The little chicken.  He had understood, though. Heaven knew he was fully aware he had messed her up. Badly. And so, he had done the difficult thing. Tried to do it her way.  According to her needs. Whatever they might be.  His changes, however, did not include the ability to read the mind of women. So he tried.  He had given her time.  When that didn’t work, he had tried to be pushy.  And he had tried to be distant.  Then tried to smother her. He had tried flowers, letters, calls, hell, he probably at some point even had hired skywriters.  But no- Lisa held strong.  She wanted him nowhere near her.

Well, other than that little lapse last year.  Or maybe it was because of her little lapse last year that she went into invisible mode.  Or invincible. Or both.  It had happened on Asha’s first birthday.  At Neverland.  He tried hard to not grin at the memory.  Lisa had been pretty shut down for a while.  And seemingly not just from him.  She actually abstained from doing what she normally did, and surprisingly did not jump into random relationships, or - heaven forbid- go back to her good buddy Big Bird.  No, she did the totally unexpected and stayed single after her divorce. And with their baby now in the picture, he would have had a thing or two to say about her jumping into the next loser's bed, anyway. The problem was, she also did not jump back into his bed.  Or his life. 

Michael had decided it was up to him to take the bull by the horns. So…he had everyone over at Neverland.  Which, with Asha's miraculous conception suddenly had taken on a whole new meaning.  It became a dragon he had to ...not slay, but tame.  Reclaim.  It was his.  It had been ripped from him.  And once he woke from that constant surrounding daze, he was sick and tired of people taking his shit.  Tired of him laying down and playing dead while life went on.  So, while he certainly never would live at the Ranch again, he started to work on opening it for new and different ventures.  The kids were ecstatic and loved that he was open to spending more time out on the property in an attempt to rewire his brain and make new memories.  And Asha's birthday was one of the first such new memories he aimed to lay down to erase the canvas of nightmares.  Surprisingly, Lisa had agreed fairly quickly.  Well, Michael was convinced she only accepted because she really doubted he’d be there at all- calling his bluff in a way. Ha! Time she made acquaintance with the new Michael.

Oh, how his hopes had soared! Maybe, just maybe, the old magic would bewitch Lisa and at least crack the armor he had, no doubt, personally bestowed on her. The whole thing was a pretty genius move and almost worked.  Both families were present and everything was oddly harmonic.   Shit, he had even ordered extra cookies for Grandma Cilla, who was on some sugar high related perfectly pleasant behavior, and only shot him evil glances every other minute.  Rides for the kids, to include Grandma Cilla’s boy-toy, who made Michael wonder if he would face another charge for supplying alcohol to minors later at some point. But he was good and did not card the man-child. And he barely teased Priscilla.  Instead, he went on horse back outings with Ben, Riley, Prince, Paris, and Blanket.  Lisa declining, but watching them ride off with an odd expression in her eyes.  Oh yeah! Lisa was softening, the ice layers started to melt one by one. His heart about exploded when he saw her smile...even at him at one point. Before she caught herself and put the frown back in place.  And in that one magical moment, when Lisa had not been quick enough to hide her eyes, he had seen the truth: It wasn’t that she did not love him anymore, as he has started to suspect and fear. Oh, heck no! She loved him too much.  Still. Always.  And instead of doing what normal people do and run toward the object of her affection, she had elevated running scared to some sort of eternal marathon. No, she wasn’t just scared, she was petrified.  Because of him. He had done that. And he aimed to undo that. Simple as that. Right?

That night, after Asha had passed out from all the fun with all her siblings and family around her, fate seemed to intervene again, and they somehow found themselves under that tree. The one he had tried to karate chop after rearranging Lockwood’s silly face. The one that had been witness to their first kiss.  The one he had found Lisa and their daughter under earlier.  Just sitting there, Lisa softly singing, with the birthday girl snuggled against her, sucking on her thumb, chilling for an uncharacteristic moment.  "You came here to save me, didn't you? You came here to teach me..." He smiled, recognizing the song she had written for Ben and Riley.  Not wanting to intrude, he tore himself away, but filed the image with his most treasured memories. 

That night, he had not been able to sleep, so he had aimlessly wandered off…into the darkness. Once he had known every stone on this property- was able to feel his way around when the moon was hiding. Well, that night, it was on full display.  Full moon…starry sky…calling all the lunatics to nature’s altar.  

When he spotted the outline of a person under the tree, he did not have to see who it was.  He felt it.  Each fiber in his body picking up her presence. 

“Couldn’t sleep?”

She hadn’t startled as he had half expected. Guess it was not just his own radar working overtime.

She also had not answered.  Oh well.  As long as she didn’t run off.  

He sat down, leaning against the tree, listening to the sounds of the night.  Feeling at peace for once.  Near her.  Just existing. Breathing.  Being.

“How long you gon’ keep up this being mad at me thing?”

Okay, so maybe being wasn’t giving him the answers he needed.

Finally, after he thought she would ignore him some more, she turned.  Her eyes shone mysteriously in the moonlight. 

“You think I’m mad at you?”

“I think I can count the words you said to me in the past year on one hand. Either you’re mad or you have some sort of vow of silence.”

“I think, between the two of us, we produced enough words for a lifetime.”

“Old words. In the old days.  How ‘bout some new words?”

She lifted her face up to the moon.  Staring into space, buying time. “Like?”

“Like: I know I hurt you.  Bad. I know things were horribly painful.  I was a fucking asshole…”

“I thought there’s no cursing out here….” 

Was that a smile?

“I got a special permit…”

“Oh, well then…By all means, go on: You were at you were a fucking asshole…”

He laughed. “Don’t agree too heartily.  I am the father of your youngest child, you know…”

Lisa turned. Their eyes met in the darkness. “Yes. Yes, you are.”  

The tone held some wonderment. As if she was amazed- but in a good way.  Sort of. Glancing over, he could not be sure, but he thought he spotted tears reflecting the starlight above. Then, she averted her gaze once more. Always on her toes. Always guarded. Where had the woman gone he had once accused of being too open with her feelings?

They sat for another while. Listening to the song of the cicadas.  Watching the last lightning bugs that had not headed home to their fairy lands yet. 

“Lisa….”  

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.” 

It was  simple statement.  And yet one so full of meaning.  Full of all his emotions.  Full of all his love.

“You don’t have to thank me… She’s my child…” 

Wasn’t there s’posed to be a “too” in there, somewhere?

“No, she’s our child,” he corrected quietly,  “Our little miracle.  When all hope was lost for me, when I was buried so deep inside my own head, I was ‘bout to drown…when all was lost…this miracle happened.  Asha came into our lives…”

“She’s pretty damn amazing, isn’t she?”  Lisa looked down, and he could feel her proud smile. 

“She’s everything.”

Tentatively, he aimed for Lisa’s hand, braced in the grass. He fell short. On purpose. His courage evaporating at the last second. So close…and yet he did not dare to touch her.  Too afraid of another rejection.  

Thunderous silence filled the space between them for another eternity. 

“Michael…”  Her voice was barely a whisper. 

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”  The words were breathed into the night like a prayer.  

When he felt her warm hand on his, he almost jumped out of his skin.  Electric shocks going through him, stunning him.  He held still, not daring to move. Not daring to breathe.  Knowing this perfect moment was probably nothing but a mirage and he’d wake up any moment now.

Then, as quick as the contact had occurred, she ended it, jumping to her feet.  “I…I gotta go…Check on her… She’s not used to the room here.”

Before he knew it had happened, he had been on his feet as well. Reaching out for her arm. A light touch. He felt her shiver.

“Riley is with her- I checked before I came out. She’s out like a light. Stay…please….”

“Michael…I can’t…”

She turned. Her arm still in his grasp.  He struggled not to hold her harder.  He wanted this to be her choice. 

“Can’t what?  Can’t be here? Talking to me?  Finally? Is that really too big a concession to make? After a whole year? Plus the pregnancy?  That’s a long time…”

“We talked during the pregnancy. Don’t even. Concession?  You wanna talk about concessions?  You know what it costs me to be here?  To see you with our daughter up close?  Images of what I once thought could never be.  Images of a life lost to us forever…because of…of what we did. Choices we made.  And here she is. This perfect little person. Don’t you know it kills me to see her snuggled up to you like she does?  To see her eyes worship you. To see the way you look at her? All that love.  All that possibility…and we threw it all away…” Lisa’s voice broke.  “I really can’t do this…please don’t make me…”

The hue of agony in her voice broke his heart. But letting her go would destroy him. At least they were honest right now. And she was not solely blaming him. 

We threw it all away.  

But baby-girl…we can also have it back.  We just have to reach for it. You just have to reach for it.  Reach for my hand again…I won’t let you down. Ever again.

For some really stupid reason those words were lost to him.  He chose a more defensive route. 

“I’m not making you do anything.  I just can’t stand to let you go…”

Lisa looked up at him. A tear escaped her eyes and slowly slid down her cheek.  “And I can’t stand to have you here…so close…like this…” She cleared her throat. “I gotta go.”

Somehow, it felt as if he was damned to watch himself lose her again.  This time with every moment etched into his mind with laser precision as every neuron was sliced open, bleeding his life from him. Her body turned.  Her arm slipped from his hold.  His fingers glided down her smooth skin.  At the very last moment they closed around her hand, his fingers desperately interlacing with hers.  So familiar a touch. And yet almost alien.

“Lisa…don’t walk away…don’t go, girl…don’t leave me…”

Surreptitiously, his hold on her hand tightened and he pulled her back, pulled her into him.  When the kiss happened, he just might have been the more surprised of the two.  And still…It was natural. It was needed. It was life. 

Lisa stiffened.  His hand still holding hers, his body moved backwards lightly as to not freak her out.  Cause heaven knew, having her so close caused all sorts of havoc he was not able to exactly hide. He needed to not overwhelm her…to not launch himself on her like some sort of caveman in heat.  Even though he certainly was on fire.  He was the flame. And she was the water. The moon to his sun. Her lips felt cool and sweet.  The contact was very light and almost chaste.  He could feel her tremble as she held still, then moved against him, her lips softening as she started to tentatively return the caress.  He felt the resistance, and also felt her helplessness as she fought complete surrender.  After what seemed like an eternity that saw them captured in that perfect beam of the moon, they both opened their eyes.  Michael raised his hand to cradle her face, her features witness to the struggle: her confusion, her pain, her love… 

Both were panting, despite the kisses having been downright restrained given the spectrum of their usual passion. Too scared trying to decipher the enigmatic storm of emotions in her eyes, Michael’s thumb traced the outline of her lip, feeling a jolt race through him as she automatically licked her lip.  

A cloud crossed the field of the moon, as if the distant galactic body wanted to grant them this moment’s escape, and Lisa blinked.  Michael held his breath, fearing she’d snap out of whatever spell kept her motionless and bound to him.  

“Fucking hell…”  the whisper was not exactly what he had expected, and his eyes narrowed. 

What was it they said to do before accidents? Brace for impact? Well, he braced… Her hand escaped his grasp. Before he could figure out if he should duck before she’s slap him, she reached for him and pulled him to her almost forcefully.  Her hands maneuvered his head to where she could reach, her lips crashing with his mouth, her tongue seeking entrance.  All thoughts of keeping any distance became pulverized.  Lisa stepped into him, and his back made contact with the tree that once again bore silent witness. The kiss contained all the passion and frustration of the last year and a half, stunning and reviving him at the same time.  Their bodies molded together perfectly.  His woman.  Made for him alone. Lisa.  She was his salvation and his damnation.  Both the weapon and the cure.  His life and his death.  And always an enigmatic surprise, the one person always keeping him on his toes. Against all odds, and totally to his surprise, Lisa remained the aggressor, her hands starting to roam under his shirt, massaging the quivering skin of his back.  Her hot lips left his mouth and started to kiss down his neck, making him moan into the night.

“Lisa….” he sighed, trying hard to not rip her clothes of and go with the caveman in heat thing which suddenly seemed like a pretty good plan.  Too much deprivation.  Too many sleepless nights.  Too many dreams he woke from only to find himself cold and in need.  Too many cold showers. And too many cries after having brought himself to orgasm to find some measure of relief, and feeling empty and dirty; knowing that only she could satisfy his deep hunger. 

“Shht….don’t…don’t speak…”  Her hands came around and she opened his pants.  Damn! Maybe he wasn’t the only one who had been deprived.  Encouraged, his own hands became braver, dipping under her shirt, his palms finding the swell of her breast.  Like a boy getting his first feel, he almost feared to embarrass himself. She felt so good.  But there was something else.  He was only too aware she had just recently stopped nursing their child, and not only did he appreciate the fullness in his palms, but he also was whipped into added frenzy known the body he had worshipped forever,  had now also nourished their baby.

The buzzing in his ears grew louder and suddenly, it occurred to him that the sound was not simply caused by the blood cursing through him.  

“Lise…wait…I think…” Which was really, totally an almost impossible task, seeing the thinking had bene taken over by his most southern organ.  

“No…don’t….don’t think….”  she moaned against his skin before she swallowed him again in a greedy kiss.  He was sort of glad she agreed that thinking was not a desired attribute at that very moment.  Maybe he should just ignore the warning bells. 

Dammit….maybe he was wrong.   Given his current predicament, he could not squander this chance.  Then again…maybe he was right.  And she’d hate him even more for messing ‘round out in the open knowing there might be an audience.  And who was here but family…oh shit. He had to stop before it was too late. 

“No, baby… I think…I think I hear a golf cart…”

“What?” She stared up at him. Obviously not comprehending his words.  Her cheeks were flushed. Her eyes looking drugged.  High… Oh God..he knew the feeling…

Mike, count till ten.  Let her catch on. C’mon man. One, two, three…

Understanding dawned, and she took a step back, pulling on her shirt  as she looked down on herself almost as if she just had been dropped back to earth and was assessing the damage.  

“Crap… Crap, crap, crap!”

No shit! She should try having a raging hard on! Michael winced as he struggled to close his pants.  Yeah, crap was right. Even though he somehow doubted Lisa was talking about the interruption.

Which sure enough came in the form of Ben and Prince, having been sent out by a frantic Riley after Asha had woken up and could not be calmed down.  He’d have to have a world with his youngest about interrupting her parents’ reunion.  Lisa seemed frantic, and if he suspected correctly not only because their child was upset. Avoiding any and all eye contact, she  jumped on the cart with the boys to head back.  Fine.  So much for a reunion.  Michael fisted his hands as she slipped from his grasp and prepared to walk back by himself.  For obvious reasons- which he hoped were not obvious at all.  Damn full moon! 

“Dad- you okay? You sure? There’s room. Or want me to go with you if you gotta walk back? ” His son searched his no doubt gleaming face.  Nothing more fun than being caught red handed by your teenage son.  Who hopefully thought his father was out stargazing with Miss Lisa. 

“Ah…yes, I’m good, Applehead. You head back with Lisa and Ben, okay? I’ll be along,” he managed to squeal out, cleaning his throat to make his voice sound semi normal again. 

Coming back to the guest cottage, he found Lisa in Asha’s room, rocking her, humming to her softly.  Was that You Are My Life?  

He stood there for a moment, watching them, before he stepped up and placed a kiss on his daughter’s forehead.  He had thought she was asleep, but she opened the sleepy eyes and smiled… “Dada…”  Asha grabbed his finger and her eyes closed again, drifting off.

“She okay?” He whispered to Lisa, without being able to meet her eyes.  Man, after everything they had done in the past, why the hell was he so freaked out about a kiss that didn’t even get them all the way to second base? 

“Probably being in the room she doesn’t know…like I said.”  Lisa’s voice was hushed. Her face remained hidden by her hair as she bent over their daughter.

They stayed like this for a while. Lisa in the rocking chair, Michael crouched down beside her, Asha still holding on to him in her sleep.

“She’s okay. I think you can go if you gotta…”  

Nice try, Lisa! Fat chance he’d leave now. He still wanted to talk to her.  So, he just ignored her, and they sat there for a while longer. 

“Here, let me put her back, I think she’s out.”  He removed his finger from her little fist and kissed the tiny hand.  Asha smiled in her sleep, but otherwise didn’t stir. 

“I got her…” Lisa protested, then relented when he looked at her and raised an eye-brow.  

Michael reached for the child, and Lisa handed her over. They both moved to the crib, and tucked her in together.  This felt so strange. And so magical.  Both of them united at their daughter’s bed.  Not exactly like that had ever happened before. 

“She looks so much like you when she’s asleep, you know that?”  Michael whispered as he stared at the little angel who had started to snore. 

“And so much like you any other time…”  For a moment, Lisa looked up, then immediately avoided his eyes again.

“Lisa Marie…we gotta talk…” He reached for her hand. 

For the briefest moment, she left her hand in place where it always should have been.  He even thought he felt her tighten her hold.  Then, the moment was gone.  His hand felt cold from the loss. 

“We talked enough, Michael…We suck at talking…”

He could have pointed out that maybe the should let their hearts and bodies talk and the rest would work itself out, but he felt he had ventured far enough.  Tomorrow would be another day.  More baby steps.  Little had he known, the steps he thought had been taken had been in the opposite direction of progress. 

The next year was hell. If she had been distant before, she was down right ridiculous after that night.  

Part of him understood.  Could he really blame her? That final, destructive blow-out in her house when he had honestly seen no other option but to leave, had destroyed them both.  She needed him to be open- and he needed to shut all the way down.  Needed it more than he needed her. Because the alternative was either death or certain descent into absolute madness.  The night at Neverland, after he had found out about her secret partnership, had cost him too much.  And not due to anything she did.  His own behavior, though, had horrified him: The way he had talked to her…the things he had said. Man, he had been drunk and on meds, but certain accusations still made his blood run cold. Where had all that ugliness come from?  

And he probably didn’t even have total recall. Everything was a blur that night.  The drive out to the valley, him ending up at that tree. Screaming his agony into the night, up into the heavens… Then Lisa had arrived and with her a convenient target.  He didn’t recall much, but he recalled her eyes. Her tears.  Her strength as she tookt everything he heaped upon her.  Taking his lunacy.  Taking the venom- allowing it to drain from him. Then, her effort to fix him up- followed by their frantic and intense lovemaking, again marked by tears and so much wretched agony…love and pain intertwining into his DNA.  Little had he known that something else was happening DNA wise… 

Looking back, it seemed so clear.  God had opened him and started to purge the infection, the puss, the sickness… At the same time, He had started to work on restoring his very being. With the one thing, the one being that could do the impossible- restore hope. Restore life.  Oh yes, in hindsight the puzzle revealed a beautiful, divine canvas.  At the time, though, all he had seen were mismatched pieces.  He desperately had wanted to forgive Lisa, and yet the ugliness, the dark demons of hell had taken up residence in his heart, and he had vacillated between having to shut down to stem the bleeding and lashing out, hurling all the agony at her…almost as if that would make his own destruction bearable.  Only, the opposite was true: The more he wielded his emotional whip, the more skin and flesh were torn from his bones. 

So he left.  Had cut and run.  To save his life.  Because him leaving beat the alternative.  He could not have survived had she gone.  And she needed to go, no doubt.  His open cruelty had  pushed her hard enough.  So it had been up to him to do what needed to be done.  He damned himself to hell and hoped to save her life.  Fuck him.  He didn’t deserve anything.  He had gone on autopilot.  Functioned.  Performed.  

Tried to use whatever energy was available to be the father his children deserved. He noticed the worried looks of Kenny, Karen, Bush, his mother…and he forbade them all to take pity- or to talk about or mention Lisa.  Tasha had been a nice distraction.  She became his little project in a way.  Initially, he really only had wanted to help her. Well, and annoy Phillips for stealing her from under his nose and having her around as his personal assistant.  He could bask in the warmth of her smile and the way her eyes lit up when he talked to her without getting burned.  

Business ventures started to bear fruit and he doggedly  worked on a plan to buy Lisa’s investment out.  When he had found out just how much she had backed him with he was horrified! But at least he’d be able to pay her back, finally.  That way he could remove her from his life. Freeze her out.  Be done.  What a laughable thought!  As if that had ever worked in the long run!

Yeah- his brain had not been working too well back then. Karen finally was the one who broke through to him.  He had tried to ignore her sour looks.  And her hints. Her pissed off attitude. One day, before a show, right after she slammed yet another one of her brushes down, knocking a container to the floor, spilling powder everywhere, including his pants, he finally had had enough.

“What the heck is your problem, Turkle? You gon’ break my budget if you keep breaking shit.”  Not to mention his pants looked like he rolled in the dirt.

“You better count your blessings it’s not your damn stubborn head I’m breaking.”

“Well, you’d be out of a job. I mean, after that last one of making me look all pretty for the casket.”

She rolled her eyes.“Funny, Mike. But damn, I’d feel good knocking some sense into you.”

“If I’m dead, I can’t have sense.” he pointed out with a lopsided grin.

She didn’t bite and stayed serious. “I didn’t say I’d kill you. You’re not worth the aggravation.”

Fine.  No time for jokes, then. He needed to get to the root of her issue anyway. “Can you fill me in what I did to deserve you being pissy as shit for the last months?”

“Me? I’m the pissy one?  You’re running ‘round with the permanent ‘tude. And that little girl following you like she’s a personal lap dog.  Her drooling after you makes walking around a safety hazard for the rest of us.”

“Tasha? She’s just sweet…”

“Yeah. Disgustingly so. I’m about to have diabetes. She’s annoying. And you’re encouraging her.”

“Encouraging what?”  He giggled, feigning ignorance.  Oh, so what if he knew that she was blushing when he flirted with her every so innocently.  It felt good to get a break from all the fucked up shit around him.  

“Well, you do whatever you wanna.  But after how you treated Lisa Marie, don’t try the rest of us to be on board you having this little girl who could be your daughter running after you.”

The mention of Lisa’s name caused his stomach to knot.

Guilt. Missing her.  Not sleeping due to running that last conversation over and over in his head…

He shot a warning glare at Karen.  She was walking on thin ice.

Her lips tightened. “Yes, I know. We’re not allowed to say her name. Well, tough shit.  I am her friend, and I’m gonna say her name when I want to.  Fire me, if you want to.”

It was probably best to ignore her. “I ain’t firing you…unless you don’t go and finish what I pay you for. Show’s in an hour.”

“Whatever. Sit still then. Hard enough to focus on work with her being…”  Karen obviously caught herself and clamped her lips shut.

Too late.  His head whipped around. “Her being what?”

He certainly had tried to keep tabs on Lisa, but it had been difficult.  He had talked to Riley and Ben, but found them to be very remote and almost cold.  His mother just gave him the “Oh son, I don’t want to get into the middle of all this mess” speech, and Janet pretended to not know anything.  Tabloids also weren’t helpful, as Lisa did her usual thing of pulling way back, being able to hide from their probing view.  All he was able to find was that “Lisa Presley seemed to be working things out with her husband after her sudden return to the US.” Big, fat surprise.

So, what was Karen going on about? Was Lisa being…? Happy? Thrilled to be back in boredom land? Happy helping her hubby rob the local thrift stores of their finest oddeties? What? What did Karen know?

“Nothing. Hold still! Show’s in an hour, like you pointed out.”  Ignoring him, she started to work on his eyes.  He captured her wrist.

“What? What ‘bout Lisa? You can’t just start something like this and not finish.”

“I can’t? Well….My boss said not to talk about her. And I don’t wanna be fired.”  Karen glared at him.

“Well, now your boss wants to know what you’re talking ‘bout. What’s going on with Lisa Marie?”

It took some more probing and finally threatening until Karen told him Lisa was not doing well. That she had been in and out of hospitals.  Michael immediately launched into panic mode, resisting the onslaught of the flashback from when they had been out of touch before and then he had found out she had almost died back in 97. Of course, she was with the crazy cult then, and from what she had said she was out now.  Or was she? If she was vulnerable, maybe she had reached out to them again.  Danny was most certainly still in, and so Lisa would never be far from their reach through Riley and Ben.

Try as he might, he had not been able to find out much at all.  Ben and Riley had stopped taking his calls, and Lisa had changed her number.  Karen, after her first diarrhea of the mouth, had clammed up and not spilled anything else.  Janet was in happy land with her Billionaire and too busy with her own life to care for his pain.  She actually had to gall to tell him to move on and give it a rest.  Like hell! 

One night he saw a blurb on ET about Pink and Lisa once again having rekindled their friendship and having been seen together in NYC.  Great- maybe he could work his business connections to get Alecia’s contact number.  He and Alecia had a tumultuous history as he at one time had hated Lisa’s partying too much, and had questioned their closeness, but hey…maybe she’d help anyway, seemingly having settled down now with her estranged husband again, per helpful tabloid accounts. He put Tasha on the task, only to be told over and over she had not been successful. Which was odd, since she normally was very resourceful.

Continued research was frustrating as hell and took up a lot of his free time.  The internet was pretty helpful, but he still did not have a solid lead on what was really going down. Lisa’s fan site was fairly quiet so snooping on her fan boards also didn’t render much. Michael had been able to find out that Lisa indeed seemed to have some sort of health issues going on, but try as he might had not been able to get any details. The rare pictures he had been able to come by worried him: she did not look good.  Dark circles under her eyes. Gaunt.  His imagination went into overdrive.  Was she on drugs? Medications? Was she doing her weird cleansing stuff again?  Was she sick? How sick? Almost at the end of his rope, he almost had considered calling Priscilla.  Talk about desperate! 

Then the totally unexpected happened. Lisa called him. Odd that he had answered seeing he hadn’t recognized the number.  A miracle almost! 

“Hey…Michael.”  Her voice.  The impact stunned him.  Knocked him down. Literally. He fell into the couch.  So many emotions cursed through him.  Everything he had been trying to hide from.  Tears blurred his vision.

He should have been mad.  But all he felt was intense relief.  He gripped the phone. 

“Lisa Marie! Good God! I’ve been trying to get in touch with you!”

Silence.

“I…I know…”

She knew?  Well, that was nice.  How considerate of her to finally pick up a phone and call, then. 

“Lisa, listen- I hear you’re sick. What..what’s happening? Are you okay?  I’ve been so worried.” 

“I…we…ah… Listen…we gotta talk.  Preferably in person.  Well…” she laughed in a weird way, “preferably, not at all. But yeah- we gotta talk.”

“We are talking. You called.  So…talk to me. What’s happening?” Preferably not at all? Nice to know her sarcasm hadn’t suffered from whatever else was going on.

And in person? Why? How bad was this? Oh, God…if anything was really wrong with her…the mere thought stopped his heart for a moment.

He had insisted she spill the beans then and there- and she had hedged, starting to piss him off. Which of course, was a dumb move, as Lisa had hung up. Dammit.  

Immediately regretting his move, he tried to call the number back- and got a generic voicemail.

She wanted to talk in person? Fine! Doing some digging, he was able to find out she was in Memphis.  A day later, having a week long break coming up, he yelled for Tasha who was arranging his mail, to get him a flight to Memphis.  Tasha, looking at him oddly, informed him that maybe that was not a good idea- and handed him something.  He almost rejected the familiar print of the garbage he recognized as the National Enquirer, until Lisa’s name caused him to change his mind.  

“New house for the growing family?  Sources reveal Lisa Marie Presley is once again house hunting- this time near her original stomping grounds.  There are rumors that the 42 year old once again might be in the family way which is the reason for recent hospitalizations, hinting at a problematic pregnancy. Lisa Marie and her husband Michael Lockwood, who have been surrounded by rumors of divorce due to a recent- and very short-lived reunion with her ex-husband, might not be as estranged as we thought.  Will their adorable twins soon have a little baby brother or sister to play around Graceland with?  Or was Elvis’ little girl investing more than money into the shows of the King of Pop and will the world see the birth of new music royalty? Time will tell. Cause - ‘if you’re gonna have my baby we shall see if it’s Black or White.’ “ 

Ignoring the obvious bastardization of his lyrics, the world tilted on its axes and Michael had to reach for the table behind him to keep from hitting the ground.  No…this had to be a mistake.  Or a lie. Lisa couldn't possibly be pregnant…

You had to have sex to be…

His heart pounded in his ears as he counted.  When were they last together that way… Neverland! After Thanksgiving, late November, early December.  It was now…March.  She’d be three months pregnant.  No, no way…She would have told him…

Listen, we gotta talk. Preferably in person…

Oh shit! No doubt, she wanted to tell him about…about…. His eyes fell onto the paper again.  

This…About her…being pregnant. Heat raced through him.  A swirl of incredible joy started to spread in his belly.  Could it be?  For real? 

“Michael? Are you okay? I’m sorry…I knew she got back with her husband, but… This must be such a shock.’

His eyes fell on Tasha.  He blinked. Having forgotten she was in the room.  

Also having forgotten there was another possibility.  Fuck! Lockwood! Dammit! Would Lisa really have… He felt himself making a face.  No… Then again, what had she said in an interview? “I’m the sort of girl that gets even when I get hurt…” Or something to that effect. 

Don’t be an idiot. It’s what she does.  She doesn’t stay alone.  You ran out.  She moved on. Or she got hurt and she knew it would hurt the fuck out of you if you found out.  Think of her other pregnancy pictures.  It’s what she does.  She gets back at you.  Period.  Now she will have another child that is not yours. And you have shit-all. Cause that’s what you deserve.  Nothing. 

Reality caused his throat to close up, and he started to feel hot and cold at the same time.  There was no reprieve. No cause for joy.  Not for him.  Never for him.  Trying to take a breath, he found his lungs to be paralyzed. At least he knew this. The ongoing torture was very familiar. 

Before he had a moment to recover, the second shoe dropped.  There was commotion.  Noise. Voices… more noise…. Michael looked up, still very much in shock.  The door to his office opened.  His eyes widened in disbelief.  Maybe this was all not real at all. This had to be some sort of nightmare.  The casting certainly was just about perfect. Maybe if he closed his eyes the intruding woman would simply disappear.  Ride off on her broom.  

“Hello, Michael. I told your staff you wouldn’t mind the visit of…well, me.”

What the hell? Was he dreaming? Priscilla? In his house?  The last time that had happened was during a really bad period during his marriage to Lisa.  She had come bye and found him playing with children he had over…and she looked as if he had been eating them alive or something. Then had run off without a word. Starting more shit.  Telling Lisa how he was a manipulator and mentally ill.  Warning her to run- fast and far.  Well…this time she wouldn’t have to go to those lengths.  If she was here at all. 

His mouth fell open and he blinked twice. It was no good. She was still there.  Dammit! Maybe he should pinch himself.  Or fire his staff. He also probably should say something witty and effective, but he was too stunned.

Her eyes fell onto the article.  “Oh good. You saw.  This…thing.  These…news. Which is why I’m here. Lisa would obviously kill me if she knew, but she’s really in no shape right now to make good decisions for herself. So, let me keep this short and to the point.  Yes, she is pregnant. And no, it’s not Michael’s.”

Michael stared at her.  Great. So she came here to gloat.  To confirm… Wait?  Why would she call him Michael to his own face.  It made no sense. Only… it did. Due to Lisa’s move to marry someone with his name.  The glimmer of hope warmed his belly. Oh, please, dear Lord…don’t toy with me…

“Oh wait…she made this so complicated.  Let me rephrase. The baby is not Michael Lockwood’s, I meant to say. Jackson? Did you have botox or something? Stop staring at me, will you?  So…yeah. The baby is not Michael’s -meaning Lockwood’s.  Or so she tells me, and I don’t think she’d lie- seeing we all will see the truth soon enough.  If she makes it through this okay- and so does the baby.  Which is why I’m here.  It's not for your benefit, mind you.  But for Lisa. This stress is too much for her.  The pregnancy had complications from the start so, despite of how I feel about you and about you being in her life, I guess I don’t have a choice at this point. I love her. And I love my grandchildren.  All of them.  So- I need you to put whatever ugliness happened between you two to the side, and I need you to support her.  Meaning you have to grow up and stop being …well, you.”

And just like that Pricilla’s little speech had changed his life forever.

Nothing mattered. Nothing, but the one chorus in his head. Lisa Marie was pregnant with his child. His child. Their child! Their dreams and their destiny- finally fulfilled. 

Hope, fear, love…and so many more emotions he could neither identify nor name, held him in a straightjacket as he somehow made it back to the States. He didn’t recall the flight, or how he got to the hospital Lisa once again had been taken to, as he had been informed by this strange new ally having taken over the body of his former mother in law. To say she was transformed would be a lie. He felt her resentment. It was a physical presence. But he also felt her love and deep concern for Lisa.  And her child. Their child.  

A million questions were running through his head, and they all fell to the side when he saw Lisa.  Looking tiny and pale in her bed.  Her mother had gone in ahead.  To lessen the shock, as she had put it.  Well, if you asked him, seeing Priscilla was a way bigger shock than seeing him. But whatever.  Lisa looked …not mad.  She looked up and tried to smile even…it broke his heart to see the insecurity in her features.  

“Hey… Guess Mom decided to spring it all on you. I’m sorry, Michael. I really wanted to tell you… But…but…”  her eyes teared up and the beeping on her monitor increased.

A nurse came in to check on her, informing him she needed to stay calm.  Why was everyone always on him about that? He hadn’t even said anything yet!

“Lisa…hey…I…came…as soon as …as I could.” Nervously, he stepped from one foot onto the other.  Feeling totally out of his depth. Feeling like a total idiot. His words meaningless and empty.  Dammit. He had left her! He had left her that day. After weeks of…being a total asshole.  For what?  Punishing her for helping him?  Really?  In hindsight, he could kick his own ass! 

They kept it light that day.  He just sat there, watching the monitor, holding her hand after the doctors gave her a mild sedative.  Later, he talked to Lisa’s doctor, and then was allowed to be present for a sonogram.  Everything felt unreal, until he saw the tiny little form on the monitor.  Saw the little heart beating strongly.  Heard the steady beat.  Tears streaming down his face, he reached for Lisa’s hand.  Nothing mattered but this tiny person inside the woman he loved so much.  This miracle.  This wake-up call.

Later that day, he found himself on his knees in the hospital chapel. Crying.  Laughing.  Rejoicing and repenting. Thanking God for His ultimate wisdom.  Surrendering all his will- and everything he had to the will of the Lord.  He knew he could not make bargains here. He felt utterly powerless.  Was fully aware of his insignificance.  But he knew he could pray.  So he did. With all his might he prayed for this chance.  For this little soul.  For his own. For Lisa- to protect her from another loss. And for forgiveness- and salvation.  A lot to ask for. But he was not too meek to ask.  Not for this.  

The road through this pregnancy was difficult and wonderful at the same time. Lisa certainly, despite his hopes and expectations had kept her distance.  She informed him that while her divorce was final, this baby was not going to fix them as a couple.  She asked him to please make no demands.  She stated she did not want to ever think he was coming back to her because she was pregnant.  He tried to make her understand that the baby had only opened his eyes to his love for her, but that he had loved her all along.  She remained skeptical and he accepted that. For the time being.  Just as he accepted her avoidance of discussing anything that had happened.  Fine. She needed to cope her way.  For now. And she had to stay calm. So he gave her the distance and reprieve she asked for. 

In the meantime, he kicked into action mode.  He changed things around in his life.  Renegotiated his contract for the shows.  Opened new doors in the business world and closed old ones.  Suddenly, he was fearless.  A new priority guided his vision.  He faced down Deb and her threats and was able to limit her sphere of influence through legal means.  The children were filled in about the new sibling- and the reaction ranged from delight in Prince’s case, to unmatched ecstasy where Blanket and his dreams of being a big brother were concerned, to a crisis with Paris.  

Finally, at the end of his rope, Michael had to reach for professional help, which culminated in ‘family-therapy’- to include the woman he certainly did not regard as family at all.  By the time Asha was born, he had undergone a series of highly painful, stressful, and angst-ridden session with Paris alone, Paris and Deb, Paris and her siblings, and everyone together.  Hard truths were told and processed.  Boundaries were established.  He had to learn to set limits, and he had to be able to take his daughter’s pain as she struggled to accept her new reality.  The one where her parents had never been in love.  Had never been in a real marriage.  She was indeed created with love- but there was no love between her parents.  And she had to come to terms that her father filled her in about his love for Lisa.  And his hope they would all be a family.  It would probably be a while until Paris would totally buy into his concept of this new vision, but at least she had started to let go of he old fairy tale.  

His dreams to be able to fix things with Lisa by the time of delivery were put on hold. They remained cordial.  But he very much was aware of the distance she put between them.  Both physically and emotionally. At first he thought it was a coincidence they were never alone. Until it became very obvious.  He flew on for doctor’s appointments and sonograms.  And there was always a buffer in the room. If it wasn’t a family member, it was a nurse. 

“Who will you have in the delivery room to keep you from being alone with me?”  He once had asked.

“You mean other than nurses and doctors? And my Mom and the kids outside?  What? I’m not afraid of you, you know?  I just….” she started to bite her lip.

Yeah..she just did not trust him.  There was nothing he could say to that.  He had done a bang up job of smashing all her trust to smithereens.  And  6 months was not enough time to convince her of the level of regret filling his heart. So, things were at a stand-still of sort.  A cease fire. She stayed in Tennessee and he finished up the shows in London.  He flew out to see her at least every other week- kept tabs on the her wellbeing, made sure she had everything she needed. While he remained without what he needed. Her love. 

“What will you do when you’re done with the shows?”  Lisa once asked during one of his visits. “I mean…will you be able to be…around?”

Michael looked at her as if she had grown another head.  He had been sitting next to her, and she had grabbed is hand suddenly, laughing, telling him to feel the baby go nuts inside.  Feeling his child move inside her always was the most amazing thing and fueled his dreams for the future.  And since it really was the only time he dared to touch her, each moment was heaven. Her words dropped him down to earth. Hard. Would he be around?  For his child?  

For the first time, it suddenly had occurred to him parenting this baby might not go in accordance with his dreams.  That it might, indeed be a struggle. Lisa was seemingly not interested in a relationship with him. She had said that before, and had come around, but what if she didn’t? What did that mean? How would he be allowed to be a father? She was used to coparenting with others.  He was not. Their legal teams started to become involved as custody was discussed.  And living arrangements. And seemingly everything from medical care to hiring nannies required painful negotiations.  

Then, the name discussion started.  

“Jackson, before you ask, we are not naming this child Michael Junior or Prince Michael.  Or Princess Michael.  Or anything remotely megalomanic like that.”

“Did I say anything? Even though I think Prince Michael Elvis is a quite magical name.” Not being able to maintain a straight face, he raised his hands in defense, not being able to resist the opportunity for a little joke.  But hey! She really needed to find her sense of humor again. 

Lisa made a face. “You don’t have to say squat. I know your track record.”

Which then started the search for names.  Or the competition as they each took great delight outdoing each other with ideas.  Since Lisa had to undergo genetic testing to make sure the baby was okay, they found out she was carrying a girl.  A girl! He had almost fainted from joy when he heard: It was his dream come true. A little girl with hopefully her mother’s features.  The perfect balance to his family! 

Purely by accident, he had come across the name Asha.  Liking the sound, he looked up the meaning, finding it meant “hope” or “destiny” in Sanskrit - and was also seen as possibly a variation of “Aisha” which in Swahili means Life.  Printing out his research, he handed it to Lisa in a beautifully decorated scroll following the next medical check-up.

She eyed him with suspicion. “What is that?”

When she opened it, her eyes teared up and she looked up at him with an expression he had not seen in a very long time.  For once, her guard had been dropped.  “Perfect.” Was all she had said, her voice choked up.

Less perfect was the traumatic delivery, during which he once again feared losing Lisa.  On the most unlikely of days, he had received a text that almost made him drop his phone.

I think my water broke...

Hysterically, he dialed her number. She had four children already...what did she mean she thought her water broke??

Well, turned out she was correct, and their daughter was bound and determined to make an early entrance. 

Three weeks early.  Three weeks and two days early, to be exact.  Thankfully, he had already been in LA, visiting with his mother, having laid the whole month of August shows on ice. Just in case. When he made it to the hospital, after his mad dash to Memphis, Lisa actually had looked relieved to see him.  

"Thank God you made it...I'm getting tired of trying to hold her back...Get to work…where are my ice chips?” She had quipped, looking pretty chipper for having been in labor for hours already.  To him, she had never looked more beautiful. 

“Dammit..here we go again…son of a bitch….”  Lisa’s faced crunched as another contraction hit her.  

“There you go…you got this…breathe….come on Lisa…”  He helped her count just as they had practiced in their little online preparation course, and she squeezed the daylights out of his hand. Which was something he had not prepared for.  He had known Deb was like a man and that had been scary enough- but Lisa was tiny.  

“Ouch! I think you bruised my hand…dang…you some sort of hulk woman!” Michael couldn't help but quip after the contraction eased up and he went to wipe her forehead.

Lisa caught his wrist. “Dude..this is hard work, okay? And Mike- after all this, don’t you even think about grabbing that baby and running off with her.  Unless you wanna revisit that being dead thing…”

“What? Me?  I swear I ain’t got no clue what you’re talking ‘bout. Here: have some ice-chips.”  Laughing, he knew full well Lisa alluded to Paris’ birth. And no- this was a whole ‘nother ballgame.  Oddly enough though, he also came to realize that while labor was certainly painful for Lisa and stressful for him, they hadn’t been this close in a very long time.  Maybe that was a good sign after all. 

As the hours went by, things had gone okay, even though he could not remember the last time he had been so damn scared, excited, and proud of Lisa as she labored to bring their baby into this world.  Squeezing his hand, Lisa cursed and let out a scream, as her doctor told her to push. Michael looked down, seeing his child’s head entering the world.  Holding Lisa up, he supported her last final push, being thrilled to death as his daughter was guided into this world and emitted a loud wail, proving to the world she indeed had inherited the most amazing set of lungs.  Michael was elated until the monitors went haywire and Lisa turned deathly pale. 

He still could recall with eery clarity the moment his daughter was born and he saw her for the first time.  Through a haze of tears, he was was allowed to cut the umbilical chord, then reached for his daughter’s little hand, her tiny arms outstretched in her first outstanding cry of life. 

“Lisa, Lise…look at her, look, she’s perfect. Lisa Marie….Lise….Baby?  What’s wrong with her?”  

The last part of the question was almost shrieked at the doctor. Michael had anticipated finding Lisa’s tired, smiling face when he looked up, but instead found her sinking back almost lifelessly.  Having witnessed the births of Paris and Prince before, he knew and anticipated the onslaught of love for his child, and yet he was stunned with the level of emotions as he feared for Lisa and worried for her safety almost more than he needed to hold his newborn daughter.  

Forever, he’d recall screaming the question what was going on with Lisa over and over as he rushed up to her.  Scared to death, he watched helplessly as her eyes fluttered shut and her chest heaved… as she became unresponsive to him and her medical team. He knew he called her name over and over in a hypnotized chorus  as if he feared he’d lose her once her name faded from his lips.  

Being almost catatonic with fear, he recalled colors hailing down into his overtaxed nervous system.  The grayish white of Lisa’s pallor, the green of the hospital scrubs, the red… So much red!  All he could see was the blood seeping from the woman he loved with all his heart.  No, there could not be so much blood.  Not Lisa’s blood! Not when he wanted at this very moment to give his own life for her.  Then a little cry made him jerk up.  The baby. She was here…she seemed well.  Through the screeching of demons in his head, he heard them note down the second set of Apgar scores- all twos…all normal.  Looking over as the baby was cleaned off and weighed, he trusted the nurses to take the little girl to check her out, despite their distant calls to come and hold his daughter.  No, he had to stay with Lisa.  He left before, and he was not leaving again.  He was officially done leaving, no matter how hard she tried to push him away.  She needed to know he was here.  For good.   So he remained rooted by Lisa’s side, her hand cold and limp in his as the delivery room exploded into a flurry of activity. 

Contrasting with the stillness of Lisa. Her eyes had closed now, and he could barely detect her chest moving at all. The blood pressure machine must have been broken, cause there was no way that ridiculously low number was an accurate reading. This was not happening! For him, time ceased to exist.  It did not simply stand still- it became obliterated.  Nothing existed but Lisa before him- looking so damn lifeless and grey, her lips having almost disappeared.  Breathing became difficult and Michael closed his eyes.  His brain reacted by exploding into tiny facets of images containing Lisa raining down into the darkness.  Meeting her for the first time.  Her smile. Her eyes.  That first kiss under the tree… Her leaving- and her returning.  Their fights- and more brightly so, their reunions.  Her face when they made love.  Her tears when she screamed she hated him.  The feeling of warmth when she was around him- and the arctic freeze when she left.  But always, always Lisa, full of life.  Michael forced himself to take a deep breath as he focused on praying to God, balancing that with willing her to not leave him. Not leave them.  

Finally, he was basically ordered to go with his daughter to the nursery and threats of security guards might have been involved.  Riley was allowed to come in to get him to cooperate.  No doubt she was scared to death just as he was, and yet her voice brought him back around. 

“Michael…please go with Asha. Mom will be okay.  She would want you to see that Asha is alright…please…Come on- let’s go. Let them take care of Mom.”  

Caught in the middle of some black hole threatening to completely engulf him, Michael clenched his jaw and focused on Riley before him, her hand gently on his arm, her eyes, so much like her mother’s, imploring him. Yes, she was right.  As a matter of fact, that’s exactly what Lisa had whispered before she faded… “Take care of our baby for me, Michael…” 

And so he would. For now. Until she’d wake up. Because there was no other option. The baby needed her.  He needed her… Trying to calm as much as possible, he entered the special nursery which had been sectioned off for the little diva.  He heard her cry and it hit him. That tiny human was his baby.  His and Lisa’s little baby.

“Mr. Jackson, there’s someone here that needs your attention.”

His daughter.  Michael let out a frantic sob when the nurses handed him the tiny bundle.  She was perfect.  A little perfect angel.  “Hey…hey Wiggles…” he was able to choke out, calling her the nickname they had given her by before he found her perfect name.  His finger seemed huge as he touched her little face.  She turned toward the touch and stopped crying.  Laughing through tears he caressed her cheek, causing her to make a little meowing sound and open her eyes. They were huge and dark. He could not make out the color as they were beyond brown…but also had a different tint, almost seeming violet.  She had long lashes, a perfect little nose- and definitely her mother’s beautiful mouth.  He lovingly touched the dark curls on her perfect little head.  

“Oh you…You are so beautiful, little angel. Just you wait till your Mommy sees you.  And she will see you.  Make no mistake. She’s fighting like crazy right now just to be with you…I know it…”  

Michael once again choked up, crying silent tears as he held this precious baby close, rocking her.

The nurse handed him a bottle when the little one started to cry again.  Michael felt almost guilty, knowing Lisa wanted to nurse.  

“No, really, it’s okay. Just feed her for now. She’s hungry.  Her mom will understand.”

Well, okay, then. If Lisa wanted to chew him out later, he’d point her in the direction of this lovely lady. His eyes closed and once again he prayed to have the chance to hear Lisa bitch him out just one more time. 

After what seemed like an eternity, he was told he was allowed to be in Lisa’s room. The doctors had done what they could and they were waiting for her to come to.  Thankfully, surgery had been avoided, and she had received fluids and some blood she had donated herself before in case of emergency.  Michael placed their daughter into the hospital bassinet and was allowed to wheel her to her mother’s room. Tenderly, he picked up Asha who once again opened her eyes.

“Hey, Wiggles. Guess what? You’re about to meet your Mommy. Well…you sorta already met her and know her voice and all- but now you get to see her beautiful face.  She’s sleeping right now, you know..?” He blinked a tear away as he sat down next to a very still Lisa. Man, how often had she driven him nuts not shutting up? And now, what he wouldn’t give to hear her yell at him.  At least there was some color back in her lips.  And a glance to the monitor told him her blood pressure was sort of normal again. Now, all she had to do was wake up. 

“Lisa…Lise…” carefully, he bend forward and kissed Lisa’s forehead, her eyes, her lips.  “Look, Princess…I brought you your baby girl.  Our baby girl. She’s so beautiful…just like you. C’mon, why don’t you look at her?”

Lisa’s eyes fluttered and she made a little sound.  Adrenaline rushed through Michael and he cold not remember the last time he had been this grateful for any sound in the world.

“There you go…c’mon, Lise. You can do this, baby.  Come on.  Look at me…look at us…”

“Michael… Did I … Did we lose her?  Please don’t tell me…don’t tell me it’s happening again…”  Her voice small and broken, he noticed a tear seeping from her closed eyes.

“Lisa..no, no, no, baby.  Look. She’s right here. She’s perfect.  She’s amazing and beautiful…Look.”

Asha chose this moment to once again launch into her little noises, not totally a cry, but definitely assertive.  It was enough to make Lisa’s eyes fly open.  

She looked straight at him at first;  then, as he sat next to her, holding their little treasure out to her, she finally focused on the little person eager to meet her.  

“Here Lisa…here she is. Here’s our baby girl- waiting to meet you…Look at her..look at that nose, that mouth…Isn’t she perfect? Got all her fingers and toes, and everything…I counted. ”

Lisa’s mouth opened and her eyes teared up.  “Oh God…Michael..I thought…I thought we lost her.  I woke up before…and you were gone.  She was gone…” her hand clutched the blanket over her stomach.

“Hush baby..she’s right here….. Here..” Michael sat down and place placed Asha in Lisa’s arms where she she belonged, not being able to hold back his own tears.

“Michael…God…you know what today is?  I still can’t even believe it.  Here she is…and I thought I lost her, too…”

It was August 16, 2010.  The anniversary of the darkest day of Lisa’s life.  The day a light had been taken from a little girl. And the day, that light was restored once again.  When she looked up at him again, he noticed an expression he had never seen on her features before.  Peace.  And absolute joy.

When he saw his child in her mother’s arms like that, Lisa crying as she kissed her baby girl over and over, he closed his arm over them both protectively.  This was it.  It would be alright.  Here was everything that mattered, and the rest was outside.  His three children, and Lisa’s two oldest, the twins being with their father.  Their family. It would all work out.  All he needed was faith.  And patience.  

Now, two years later, he was still running high on faith, even though his patience meter was running a tad bit low.  Which was why he aimed to put an end to all this insanity once and for all.  And he’d use any and all means available to him.  She was playing hardball? Fine! But she’d better get ready for the pitch he was about to throw. 

“Mommy- Daddy here ‘gain!” Asha once again stated matter of factly, still not letting go of Lisa’s hand.  Heck, even this two year old could see what was needed.  Both her Mom and her Dad.  Together.  Especially since Michael was more certain than ever before that Lisa loved him.  You don’t sing like that about someone and not mean it.  And you don’t run that hard, and hide your heart that fiercely if you’re not scared shitless to lose it.  

Oh hell yeah. Daddy was here. And he meant to stay.  And now all he had to do was prove to this stubborn, beautiful woman before him that she could trust him with her heart one more time.  Piece of cake!  

As long as he survived the strategy he had to develop. Oh, Lisa would be so fucking mad! 

Part Two- Lisa 

“Why did I agree to this again? Can someone please remind me?  Did I have a brain amputation or something? You’re my friend, why aren’t you stopping me?”  Lisa asked Alecia again as the familiar landmarks of Manhattan zoomed by.  Well, nothing ever zoomed by in New York Traffic, but to her it seemed they were approaching their destination way too fast.

Alecia laughed.  “Lisa, will you chill, girl? You agreed because you had no choice right?  He had that legal thingamajiggy, right?”

Right.  That bastard! Damn him! Bad enough he was there. Sneaking ‘round like some…stalker.

As if she couldn’t tell. As if she wouldn’t be able to sense him- which she had.  When would she ever learn to listen to her gut instincts?  

Wait, what? I thought you listening to your gut instincts got you in trouble which led to the decision to only listen to your brain? Or were those your libido instincts that got you in trouble?

Fuck if she knew.  Oh, she had been so damn careful these past two years. Especially the last year, after she just about had jumped him under that fucking tree. God..memories of that night still managed to make her squirm. If her son and Prince hadn’t arrived, would she have another hot, steaming reel of memories keeping her awake at night?  Would he have stopped her?  Cause heaven knew she would never have put the brakes on herself.  That night, having fled to her room, laying awake, wondering if he would come to her, dreading that wish…that night, she set her intention: 

Distance.  As long as she had distance from Michael she could operate.  Or her brain could operate.  Her frigging emotions wouldn’t take over.  The nights were bad enough.  When the dreams came, she had little escape.   From his eyes. His arms. His filling her so completely in more than one way.  As if that one way wasn’t enough. From what she remembered… But dammit, her body knew.  In her dreams, he was there with her.  He was in her…loving her…sheltering her…making her complete.  And then she’d wake.  To find him gone.  No, not gone. Banished. She had banished him from her life.  Because banishing him from her heart and soul was not an option. Not with this little person who owned his eyes, his sparkle, his dimples, even his laughter staring up at her.  Her heart.  Asha.  

As if loving him wasn’t weakness enough. But maybe, just maybe she could have convinced him of the validity of the expiration date of that love.  But their daughter…he fucking knew only too well that he could exploit that weakness any time.  

“I still don’t even know how he did this. This is so damn low! Even for him! To use his lawyers to keep her in town! Fucking hell!”  

Well, if she was totally honest it was not that he forced their daughter to stay in town. Just to be in the same state as him.

“Let me play devil’s advocate here for a second. And no- no pun intended. I’m not advocating for him. Just saying: didn’t you use your lawyers to keep him from going with you guys to Memphis?”

“I thought you’re my friend?”  Lisa glared at Alecia, who raised her palms defensively. 

Alecia laughed. “I am! And I’m keeping it real for you.  You told me you worked out a deal to keep him from going. Which is nuts.  I mean, for real, Carey would tar and feather me if I tried to take Wilz from him like that. Especially on her birthday. So, you must have known he’d came back at y’a with something. Right? Just saying…”

Lisa chewed on her bottom lip.  Alecia had a point. She had feared he’d do something. He wasn’t Danny. And he wasn’t Lockwood.  He was…Michael.  And when she had to coparent with those other two, she could do so from a basis of friendship and rational thoughts about what was best for the kids.  With Michael… Everything was based on fear.  Not on fear of him.  Oh no. She knew he loved that little girl, and she also knew deep down, he’d never take her from her, Lisa.  No, what she was scared shitless of was herself.  She’d almost caved last year.  It was such a fucking close call.  Proving to her once and for all she could not be alone with him.  Ever. She’d never be immune.  She’d never not want him.  She’d never not love him.  So, the only thing she could do was accept that.  And try to work around her eternal addiction.  Somehow.

So, while part one of the plan was to never be alone with him, she’d also have to limit seeing him with Asha. Because, damn, that was the hardest thing she had to do.  God, to watch Michael and his daughter…it was heaven. And hell. They adored each other.  To see their eyes when they were together was torture.  A constant reminder of what should have been. A constant reminder what could never be.

Because…because…why?  Because you say so? And really, Lisa… Never? That’s a fucking long time. And Asha is not even two yet. 

Yes. If forever was what it took to keep her from experiencing that pain again, forever it would be.

The reason was simple: When he left that final day, he had destroyed her.  It was as if a nuclear bomb had gone off and she had remained only as a shadow on the wall. Acid had been poured on, and the vessel of her sanity had dissolved in that puddle of blood and liquified matter that once had been her physical self.  She had lost him before, and somehow, some force always put Humpty Dumpty back together. But each time, it was as if another part went missing.  This last time…there was almost no recovery.  Existence commenced. Life had evaporated. When she first had been ill, she simply had not cared.  Not the first time her body had let her down.  Then the random bleeding and cramping started and she realized her period had been oddly absent.  Finally, her mother and Riley had insisted she get checked out, when she could not stop throwing up and was riddled with near fainting spells.  

“Miss Presley, to be totally certain we look at everything before we submit you to any invasive testing, let’s do a pregnancy test. I see it’s been a while since your last period. Maybe we should rule that out first.”

Lisa had felt like laughing at that one.  Yeah.  Pregnant? What a joke! Like that was ever gonna happen.  Only, it had.  The miracle had happened.  Not only was she pregnant, she also managed to not lose this child.  As she was sure would happen.  Every breath, every beat of her heart, every second that ticked by she had lived in terror of that next moment. The moment which would rob her of false hope.  The moment where the great joke of the universe would be revealed and she’d once again be reduced to less than nothing.  Michael of course had been appropriately elated.  Why wouldn’t he be? It was what he had always wanted, after all.  And she was going to be damned if she’d allow herself to confuse his happiness about this baby to mean anything further.  Oh, of course he snapped out whatever had been ailing him when he abandoned her and wanted to go back to “normal’- whatever that meant for them.  But no, she would not live like that.  Not use her child, her greatest dream, to get him back.  She was not Debbie.  She would not use a child and try to get him to love her that way.

“Mom, he loves you! Are you blind? That man is out of his mind with love for you! You should have seen him when…when things went bad during delivery.  The only thing I have ever seen like that was when I saw you- when you thought you lost him.  Can’t you just have some faith?He changed. He’s totally different.  Can’t you see?  Don’t you wanna be happy?"

Oh, her sweet daughter!  Riley was so sweet and loving.  And of course she wanted it all to have a happy ending. But some fairy tales are never supposed to last.  Some people are not meant to ride into the sunset.   No, Lisa was not blind. And not dumb. She was sure Michael had been scared when things got loopy during Asha’s birth. And yes, she’d lie if she said that for that one moment after she woke up that second time to find him and her baby girl right there, she didn’t want them to be together.  A family.  United.  Forever.

Which is, partly, why she surprised him by giving their daughter his name as a middle name.  To tell him…what exactly? Fuck if she knew. But it felt right.  As did the vision of them together her hormonal brain tortured ran over and over in some hellish loop. 

Only, they couldn’t do it.  Crises - yes. They could pull it together and fight their way out of the mud.  But normal life? No.  They failed normal life.  The intensity of their love was too all consuming. Too bright. It burned right through average daily life.  And she sure as shit would not expose Asha to constant chaos and disruption.  God had been good. He had given her this little angel. Part of Michael would always be with her.  She could love that part without restriction and without limits.  And she would get that love in return.  Coming from his eyes.  Surrounding her with his spirit. Through their daughter.

And the other point Riley had made actually was another reason for the need to keep her distance. Michael had made changes.  He had suddenly pulled all his shit together.  Had gone back to running his business with razor sharp intensity.  He had found ways to set limits. Had carved his path according to his needs and rules once again. He had finished those damn shows and basically kicked Phillips and all his business cronies to the curb.  Paid his debts. Started new business ventures. Starting to live again.  He had somehow found a way to rope the cow he had once married in, and also had actually done what Lisa would never have thought possible: he engaged in long-term family therapy to help Paris figure out her life.  Oh sure, he was still impulsive and willful and eccentric. But he was healthy and strong.  

Without her.  

The truth hurt, but Michael was doing great ever since she was totally out of his life.  So, the deal she had made with God, the Devil, or who or whatever had come full circle. Michael lived.  He was thriving. She had been able to fulfill his greatest dream, as he said.  She had made up for her failure before and given him their child. 

So here they were.  Not only was he alive, he was actually actively living his life.  For her, things were more complicated: Their daughter was her life.  As were the twins, Riley, and Ben. And she existed in her bliss as a mother. The one thing she had not fucked up.  Living only in the dreams about what once was or what she only dared to fantasize about when knocked out by deep sleep.  Or when she was on stage, in her safe bubble.  Not exposed to the real world she had no immunities to. 

So, why, did he have to rock the boat?  Well, she had known he’d make a fuss about Asha’s birthday. But no, she was not about to risk that again.  Not on that day. He could not be near. Maybe next year. Maybe she’d be stronger then. In some sort of sustained recovery. With a new armor.  Maybe indifference would finally find her. 

Except, obviously, her recovery was not going in accordance with his timetable. And he threw a crazy curb ball and shattered her perfect glass armor. Which landed her in a cab, feeling as if she was was being pushed out of the space shuttle without a parachute. 

“I wasn’t gonna take her from him. That’s why he was allowed to have her now. And then for a week after we’d return.” Lisa explained to Alecia, not really buying into her own justifications.

“I swear, Lise, I don’t know how you do it. How you stay this calm and talk about arranging y’alls time with her like she’s…I don’t know…some sort of timeshare.”

“Lish, look, you and Carey are fortunate.  You get to raise Willow together. I don’t have that..with none of my kids. But it works. It can work, anyway.”  Lisa stubbornly set her chin. Who was she trying to convince here? Cause at this very moment, creeping through the sticky center of Manhattan it sure didn't feel like it. 

“Yeah, seems it’s working just grand. When you serve each other legal papers. At shows…”

Lisa sighed. This all did sound so damn bizarre! 

“You know…He’s only worried. I get that… But dammit. This?  This was just crazy! Fucking shit! Why did I agree to this?”  Lisa hit the seat beside her and the poor cabbie eyed her though the mirror. 

“Well, like he said. He still had Asha’s stuff. So, it made sense he took her for the night. And since you can’t fly out tomorrow…and you wanna be close to her… I guess you thought it was a smart idea to go there, right?” Alecia repeated for the tenth time what she had told her earlier. 

Smart? Fuck no! The whole thing still sounded like a total brain dead, stupid idea!

What a mess! It was bad enough when he had shown up suddenly. Looking so…so fucking good! How dared he look that damn good anyway?  She adored the changes he had made to his appearance in the past two years as he slowly had started to glide out of the persona of Michael Jackson.  Gone was the long hair, gone with it the ability to constantly hide. He still had his glasses and shades for that of course.  He had returned to jeans, shirts, and jackets, leaving the more stylized, sharply angled things he wore around the time of the shows behind. He was still slender, but not as thin has he had been on and off.  But most importantly, Asha had brought his sparkle and his swag back.  When he said she restored his hope and his life he had not been kidding.  

Remember Lisa…this is how good he looks…. Without you….

Indeed.

So there he was. Holding their child. Looking like fucking sex on a stick. Acting all innocent.  At first she had thought it was all Alecia’s doing. That Lish dragged him back in.  

“Hey…Great show, Lisa Marie. You look…beautiful. It’s been…uhm.. a while…”

Yeah, not nearly long enough. Did he have to let his eyes roam over her dress like that? 

“Why are you here?” she cut him off, managing to sound appropriately pissed.

“Mom!” Riley had nudged her. “Maybe Michael just wanted to hear you sing…”

“Since all the songs are about him anyway…” Lockwood mumbled under his breath.

Dammit! All those people around her! She couldn’t think. Couldn’t tear herself away from him.  He had taken his shades off- his eyes gutting her.  

“Hey, Lockwood, how ‘bout you come with me and we get Harper and Fin’s stuff into the bus?”  Alecia helpfully had jumped in.

“No! We wanna stay! Michael, tell Mom about all the things we saw in the store today. We went to the big toy store Mommie. The one with the piano! Where you hop ‘round and…”

“Harper- sounds like you guys had great fun already today with Michael. So, let’s get your stuff gathered up okay?  Your Dad will take you guys. Right, Lockwood?” Lisa directed her daughter and Lockwood at the same time, without taking her eyes off Michael. 

The girls hugged Michael, and he assured them he’d see them later. Great.  Later, like when?  How did he plan that, seeing she was about to take the family back to Memphis. And he could move his sweet ass anywhere but there. 

“So, you just dropped by to hear me sing?”  Lisa broke the silence after Lockwood had ushered the twins out.

“Yeah, it was…real nice.” Michael stated with a serious face, then started to giggle in response to her frown.  “What?”

He knew full damn well, what.  That was what she has said after his shows premiered. When she was stunned and captivated…and too scared anyone would catch on that she wanted to do nothing more than to jump his bones right there. 

Michael turned serious again and his eyes seemed to turn darker.  “Lisa Marie…for real though… I did enjoy your performance.  Very revealing, I thought.  It was…mesmerizing.  As are you…mesmerizing, that is.” 

Something in her stomach did a little flip as his voice dipped lower.  Probably following his eyes.  

No, Lisa.  Stop it.  Stay strong. Get him out of here. Fast, before your panties fly off and you drag him into any ole dark corner. Dark being optional. As was the corner part.

“Michael, when you’re done having fun, you could tell me what you want?” Lisa hoped her voice was bitchy enough to make it clear she was not to be baited.  Right.

“What? I can’t come see my girls?”  That smile had nothing whatsoever to do with her heart beating so erratically she could barely breathe.  Or maybe that damn dress was too tight. 

“You saw Asha and the twins earlier…”  Lisa ignored the other meaning of “his girls”- knowing she no longer was that. Wasn’t his girl anymore.  Which didn’t almost make her cry. Not at all.

“What if I wanna come see you? You look…” His eyes roamed down her body, taking in the way the red dress clung to her body. “Lovely. Stunning, actually.”  That damn deep voice again.  And yes, that fucking dress was way too tight. She felt her boobs tingling- no doubt from the tightness of the fabric.

“If you want, I’ll sign a program for you. Or a set list.  Or something… Then you can be on your way. Asha has to go to bed soon, right baby girl?”

“No! Not going to beed soon! Asha stay with Daddy!”  Asha responded with her little pout, her curls flying as she shook her head back and forth. 

“Asha. You just stayed with Daddy. You’ll be with Mommy tonight…”  

“Hey, Riley. Can you take Wiggles here for a second? I gotta talk to your Mom.” Michael interrupted her.

Lisa’s eyes narrowed.  What?  What did they have to talk about?  And this was getting way too close to her golden rule of no time alone. Sure, there were people still around, but they were taking the set apart, putting up instruments, getting ready to haul ass.

“Don’t call her that. She has a name.  -We don’t have anything to talk about. Thanks for taking the twins. Sounds like they had a ball. I’ll be in touch about next week- after we get back.”

“Through your lawyers, no doubt…” Michael kissed Asha and handed her to her big sister. 

“Ri- stay close, please! We gotta…”

We gotta protect your idiotic mother from those eyes that are melting her into a puddle of…something…

“Riley- I need a moment with your Mom. Thanks- be right back.” With that Michael grabbed Lisa’s arm and dragged her toward a small dressing room. 

Oh. Hell. To the no!

“Michael, stop it! What the fuck?” Lisa protested.

Strangely enough it was not the fact that he maneuvered her around as if she was some prop that upset her the most. No, it was his hand on her arm. His touch….she felt as if she had been shot up by a million watts.  

Michael stopped in safe distance from the girls without actually getting her into the dressing room.  Well..thank God for small favors.  Right? 

“Look- I got something for you and I don’t wanna cause a scene.”

He had….what?  Something to give her? Oh, he had something to give her alright… Dammit! Why was her throat going dry?

Yeah, Lisa…what does him having something to give you have to do with your dry throat? Or your wet pussy… 

Fuck! She really needed to invest in more toys to not have her brain go nuts like this.  It was probably all about hormones- and nothing at all to do with Michael.

Lisa cleared her throat. “Yeah, you got a problem if you think you can just boss me ‘round at my own gig and tell my family what to do…”

His eyebrow raised. “They’re my family, too. And I ain’t bossing you ‘round. I’ve been trying to talk to you one on one for months now, but you insist on putting an army of people between us. And it ends tonight.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”  And why the fuck was she so damn turned on by his tone? Must be the flipping adrenaline cursing through her.  Just the post show buzz. Nothing to do with him.  Whatsoever. 

“Look. I heard stuff. I heard you’re ‘bout to do some grand exposition on the cult.  And you know I got connections. Who confirmed it.  I’m very proud of you, really. And I’m all ‘bout that.  Show the world what they really are and how horrific their methods are.  They kill people- I know first hand, so…I support you. Really. But I think it’s dangerous.”

How had he heard about the HBO special about Scientology she was working on?  When she had written You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet, she hadn’t been kidding. Those bastards who had been ruining her life and the lives of so many others had another thing coming.  She was about to light some fire under their asses.  

“Thanks for your concern. But I’m a big girl. I can handle them.”

“That’s nice. You do what you want. But I got a say when you put our daughter at risk.”

“Excuse me?  You got a problem with how I keep my child save?”  Her gander went up and she was about to go into Momma Bear mode. He better not fuck with her that way.  Or any way. Cause she was immune to him.  And all that jazz.

“No, you do a great job keeping her safe. But I can do a better job. And I don’t like when I can’t do that. When you prevent me from doing that…”

“Michael- you know damn well, I’d never keep you from her…”  Even as the words exited her mouth she knew what he’d counter with. Dammit!

“Except that’s not really true, is it, Lisa Marie?  Look, I wanna talk to you about all this. About how it affects her.  And I want us to come up with some plan to keep her safe together.  And since you basically banned me from being there for her birthday, I got this drawn up. So we can finally work one on one…so you can’t run…”  With that he handed her a paper.

Stunned, Lisa reached for it, being immediately afraid.  She knew how powerful he was.  Their legal back and forth had been tiresome and exhausting.  Part of her had always feared what he’d throw at her legally if he really wanted Asha all to himself. Despite him always making sure to always express he wanted their child to have both her parents in her life.  According to him, preferably together.  When he rarely did posture, she had put up with it because she knew full well it was her doing.  If she wouldn’t face him, they’d have their teams work things out.  So what now? Had he finally decided he’d play some sort of custody hardball? Well, he’d better get ready for her to wipe the floor with him!

Scanning the document, Lisa immediately saw red.

“Are you for real? You’re banning me from taking her? You can’t do this!”

“Yes, I can. And I did. We share custody. And I aint’ banning you.  I just am restricting you from taking her anyway away from me where I cannot be with her or protect her.”

The injunction stated that their daughter was to be in the same state with her father to ensure her physical and mental wellbeing.  Lisa read it again, trying to arrange her thoughts.

“You wanna protect her? Send extra security!”  Lisa raised her voice now.  He could not do this. There was no way!

“No. I’m her father.  It’s my job to keep her safe.  We’re gonna talk about this.  And we’re gonna do it here, or we’re gonna do it in Memphis with your Mom and everyone ‘round. I really don't care.  But I thought if we could put our heads together here and now, we could come up with something before her birthday.”

“Here?  Now? Are you on something again? We’re in a theatre and it’s almost eleven pm. Asha shouldn’t even be up this late!”

“Well, since your legal papers had me deliver her to you tonight, I complied.  See how insane all this is?  But no- I don’t mean here. And I don’t mean now.  Her stuff is still at my place. I mean…where we’ve been staying…”  

Lisa simply stared at him, not being able to comprehend any of this.  So, he kept her things on purpose.  He brought her to basically blindside her while she was blinded by some false sense of security.  Then he finagled a way to have Alisha bring him in, so it didn’t look like he was the one being aggressive.  And now he wanted to …what? 

Taking advantage of her current state of speechlessness, he continued, “So…I thought…. Well, I thought, I’d go ahead and go and put her down, and you go change and freshen up or whatever you gotta do.  I know you wanna put Harper and Fin to bed, probably. Then, when your’e ready, you’d come and we talk.  You know? To sort this out. Parent to parent. Friend to friend. Without our lawyers.  Just you and me.”

Yeah. Those last two words scared the living shit out of her, right there. 

“Oh, we’re friends now? Friends don’t serve their friends with legal injunctions, Michael!”

“You don’t leave me no choice, Lisa Marie! I tried calling- I tried texting… I ran out of pigeons, I sent so many…” His voice now was also slightly louder, and they both noticed Riley coming around the corner with Asha in her arms. 

“Mom…Michael…You’re getting…a bit loud. You guys cool?”

“We’re fine baby…” Lisa took a deep breath.  Dammit. He had her down to rights. 

“Fine. You take her. We talk. Then she goes back with me. Where are you staying?”

“Trump Towers.”  His gaze was directed at the floor, then he looked up at her from beneath his lashes.  

Fucking. Hell!

That man! 

Trump Fucking Towers? Where they had stayed how may times together? Where they had sought refuge after their whirlwind wedding?  Where they had made love until they passed out- only to come to and go for another round?  THAT Trump Towers? 

“Are you shitting me?”

“No…It’s convenient and Donald offered. And you know… I always liked staying there. It’s got good mojo.”

It also had five thousand million of memories.  And every single one scared the living daylights out of Lisa. 

Now, the closer they got, the more Lisa freaked out.  There had to be a way out of this! 

“By the way,” Alecia brought her out of her musings. “I brought a bag for you. In case…things get late. And you get…”  Obviously, Lisa’s agony was very amusing to her friend who could barely hold back a chuckle now.  

“Don’t you dare say it! I ain’t getting… I mean, it’s not gonna get late.”  

Lish rolled her eyes.  “Whatever. Girl. I mean, what the fuck? Why not? You obviously still got a thing for him. Or a million things. Darn, and the way he looks at you… Well, I’m sure the EPA has some sort of injunction against him because the heat in his eyes is melting the polar ice cap. You guys got more baggage than ten factories of Luis V bags. You share a kid already. And I think you’re starting to have spiderwebs down there.  Go for it! Maybe then you’re good again for a couple of years.”

Lisa tried her best to shoot her friend a warning look, but in the end couldn’t help a chuckle. 

“You’re so fucking sick!”

“I’m fucking sick…you want him and can’t handle it…” Alecia sang, and Lisa punched her arm. Hard.  

“Ouch! Take your aggressions out on him, will y’a?”

“So, tell me again how you just happened to run after him tonight? After you just happened to see him? And he just happened to have legal papers with him. And then you happen to have a bag ready for me?” it all seemed a bit too convenient. For Michael. Lisa would not put it past Lish to have played little matchmaker, seeing she was still floating high on her happy cloud. 

The cab stopped and Lisa forgot her question.  She stared up into the city lights and the haze.  Cold sweat started to enshroud her, making her feel chilled despite the hot August soup kitchen that was Manhattan.  

“Okay…here we are, girl. Hey, wasn’t this where you guys like christened…” Alecia grinned, not even bothering trying  to look innocent. Once Lisa’s brain would work again she’d have to talk to her.  Right now all she could do was try to stay focused on warding off the flashbacks caused by the casual statement. Oh, yeah, they christened a lot of rooms in that damn building, alright…it paid to have a friend who owned real estate…

“Lish! Why did I ever tell you anything? And why the hell do you still remember all that?” Lisa interrupted Alecia before the memories became even more vivid.  If that was possible.

“Cause I love me some juice love story.  Well, anyway… I packed you some extra goodies. Just incase…well…for many different cases, actually. You’ll find you’re very well prepared for all sort of scenarios. And I packed several ways to be a responsible adult.  If you catch my drift…” Alecia winked at her in that dirty way.

“Okay, I should be scared, shouldn’t I?”  Lisa gave Lish the side-eye.

“Scared? Why?  You can teach me a trick or two, I bet. But if you don’t start getting out of this cab you will be scared, girl. The fare keeps creeping up. Chop, chop, Miss Lisa.  Time is money. Even for rich heiresses.”

A doorman opened the door for Lisa just as she flashed her good friend the middle finger. Laughing, Alecia jumped out and got a rather large looking bag out of the trunk. What the fuck had she put in there?  Hopefully a parachute was included so Lisa could get the hell out of there. 

“This is really all for nothing, you know? I’m gonna get my child and leave.” 

“Sure you will. In the morning. Cause, for real…will you wake her now? At like 1 in the morning? That poor baby. She’s probably all tuckered out.”

Fuck.  The cards were so stacked against her! 

“Miss Presley-I can take that …that bag for you.”  Lisa looked up and noticed one of Michael’s new security guys. Obviously, gone were the days were she knew all his staff. And they knew her.  In the past, no one would have dared batting an eye at her bringing luggage to visit her dear friend Michael.  This guy…he looked…amused. Did he have to look at that damn monster suitcase so funny?  Maybe if she told Lish to keep the thing. Maybe if she just did the smart thing and got her ass back into that cab. She could get Asha tomorrow.  Lish was likely right, the baby was most likely asleep - meaning there was no buffer available.  Yes, that was it…tomorrow was another day.  She could meet Michael then..when it was daylight.  And she was not high on adrenaline. From her show.  And from the thought of being in room with him. 

“Okay, girl. Off you go. Have fun! No peeking!”  Alecia, giggling, hugged Lisa tightly.

“Lish…please don’t go… I’m…” Lisa swallowed.  “I’m scared shitless.”  She held onto Alecia for dear life.  

“Lise- I love you. But I’m not into threesomes anymore.  I got my own kryptonite to get back to.  And my baby.  Don’t do anything I wouldn’t.  Which gives you ample playing room, girl friend. And please: stop being so scared.  You gotta take risks.  You gotta jump off sometimes to find if there’s someone there in the dark catching you.”  Alecia had turned serious.

Lisa felt shaky. Nauseous. Scared.  Totally freaked out.  

“I …I can’t do this, Lish…I really don’t think I can.” she whispered.

“For heaven’s sake! Lisa! Yes, you can. Hey- all you’re gonna do is talk to the man, right?”

Right.  

“And you are Lisa Marie Presley. And who is he? Just …just Michael Jackson of the golden pants and the hypnotic eyes…what chance does he have. Right?”

“I’m so fucked…” Lisa mumbled.

“Oh, come here, little chicken! It will be fine! Trust me!” 

One more hug and Alecia shimmied into the cab, waving to her through the window, as the car pulled off.

C’mon Lisa. Run! Jump into traffic. Make her stop. Flag another one down… What the fuck has you all paralyzed? You’re not a hostage. 

No…just a slave…to him…to her stupid, frantically beating heart. 

“Miss Presley…are you ready?  I’ll take you upstairs. Mr Jackson is waiting.”

Oh, she just was certain, he was.  He had tricked her and now was up there…like a spider in his web.  Maybe he thought she would run.  Maybe she should show him he couldn’t play her like that.  Or maybe, maybe she should show him that she was totally immune to his stupid, idiotic games.  Who did he think he was? Using their child to trap her.  Well… Lisa took a breath and squared her shoulders.  There.  She could do this.  All they’d do was talk.  Get some shit straight once and for all.  Tell him a truth of two.  How she wasn’t scared.  Not at all.  And he’d back off.  Go back to ..whatever it was that usually amused him. So they could go back to what was really important.  Being parents to Asha.  

Just keep repeated that, and you’ll be fine….repeat Asha’s name…that’ll keep you strong…

By the time the elevator stopped, Lisa almost was buying into her own mantra.  She had been so damn silly. This was just a building.  Just a man.  Just…. 

Michael’s man stopped at a familiar door.  Dammit. Of course he was in the same suite.  New addition to the mantra: It’s just a room…

Before she could summon another thought, Michael opened the door.  

The very heart that just seconds ago was beating erratically in her chest almost stopped. 

She stared.

He smiled. Those eyes…

The earth seemed to tilt.

“Hey…you made it… Come on in..Oh- wow, gee…that’s …that’s quite a bag you got there. ”  Trying not to grin, he took in that damn huge thing Lish had saddled her with.

“Alecia…she, for some reason thought I needed a bag…for…for…”  her throat turned dry and words somehow abandoned her as she stammered the explanation he neither was owed nor deserved. He listened to her stammered explanation with barely hidden amusement. 

“No, it’s fine…sure, that’s great.  One never knows when you might feel the urge to travel the world or something. Come on in.  We just put the bag right here. Thank you, Aaron.”

“Anything else you or the lady need need tonight?” Why did he have to ask that way?  As if she was ... Some sort of escort. Lisa's lips tightened at the very thought of escorts. He better not dare to have certain ladies around her child. Which was the only reason she got ticked off. 

Could go suppress your jealousy for a second Lisa and pretend you are not still possessive as hell over that man.  

“Naw…I’m good.  Miss Presley and I will be very self sufficient, right Lisa? We’re good, right?”

Was there a strange emphasis on "good?" Or a strange tone.  Or a tone, period?

Dammit. This was going to be hell as she obviously could not make it through one sentence without obsessing about subtext. 

“What?  Yeah..sure…I won't stay long.” Lisa was fighting some really odd deja vue as she stepped into the suite.  Donald obviously had redecorated.  So, the suite looked different. And still, felt oh so familiar. 

Maybe it wasn’t the setting that got to her. Maybe it was the cast of characters.  

No, stop it.  Noting was the same.  See, Lisa?  Not the suite. Not you, either.  Even Michael…Well, other than still looking…fresh. Relaxed.  Glowing.  Just like he had been all those years ago.

Only, back then it was their love that lit him up from the inside.  Now it was their daughter.  His new life.  And no doubt the fact he just scored this little win over her.  Funny how their chess game seemingly never ended.

Lisa looked up and caught Michael’s eyes on her.  Trying to look anywhere but into those magnetic motherfuckers, she took in his appearance.  That should cool her down. The shirt…the way his arms looked toned and strong.  Those narrow hip. The way those damn jeans did his ass justice… as well as… 

Fuck! She obviously sucked at cooling herself down!

“Asha…where is she? I’d like to see her.” Lisa cleared her throat as she clung to her daughter’s name.

“Oh, sure. Gee…Lise, she’s out, though. She passed out on the way over and I went and tucked her in. She never even woke back up.” He managed to look almost convincingly innocent. 

“Is she here?” Lisa glanced around,  stepping back, avoiding his eyes again.  She had to be here. Right? Which was great. Because it wasn’t as if she was going to to lose her mind as long as her sleeping child was right there with them.

“She’s in the suite next door.  I have the nanny stay with her there, since the kids will fly in tomorrow. That way they all have more space.”

Great.  This was all some grand conspiracy against her sanity, obviously.

“Tomorrow?  I mean…you don’t think she’ll still be here tomorrow, right? Cause I wanna work this out tonight.  This…this craziness has to stop.  I’m flying to Memphis, as planned…”

“Sure….sure…we’ll see.” Michael grabbed her hand, startling her.

The contrast of her frozen skin next to his warm hand made her tremble. 

“What?”  She stared down at their hands.  

“What? Oh- C’mon. I take you to see Wiggles.”

Dammit! Did he have to touch her? And did he have to come with her?

“You can just point me in the right direction.” Lisa suggested, hoping he’d catch her drift.

His fingers tightened. Oh damn.. No…no, she didn’t enjoy his warm touch on her at all. Not. At. All. 

“You sure you still know your way ‘round here?  I mean… Remember when we had the whole floor?  And we’d…”

“I thought we’re going to see Asha?”  Lisa interrupted him before his words could jumpstart that movie of memories in her mind again.

Michael lowered his head. Was he smiling? It was damn hard to tell in the darkened room.

“Sure.  Let’s do it. Are you hungry?  I got some dinner on standby. I figured you must be hungry. The way you beat the daylights out of those drums, I know you burn like a million calories a night…” 

Michael started for the door, pulling her with him. Lisa stopped, which gave her a chance to withdraw her hand.  The chill startled her. 

“I’m not here on a social call. I’m here because you forced me, using our child.  Let’s just focus on that, okay?”

Michael raised his hands defensively.  “Okay, fine! But I did not use our child. Don’t say that. You literally didn’t leave me any other choice. You know that, right?”

All she knew was that she had tried to avoid this..this being alone with him for a while now. And he fucked it up.  So, whatever.  She was not gonna make nice just because that’s how he envisioned things to go down. Sighing, Michael opened the door for her.  Rolling her eyes, Lisa huffed by him. Or tried to. Damn narrow doorway! He put his hand on the small of her back as he guided her to the next suite! More electricity hitting her very core. And spreading.  

Not wanting to grant him the satisfaction of seeing how even this light touched affected her, she stiffened and pretended to be just fine and dandy.  

Michael unlocked the other suite.  

“I texted Carla that we are coming over, so she don’t go ninja on us. That nanny has skills, I tell y’a. Supernanny!”  

Skills? Like?  Shit! Why did every single world he uttered put her on the defensive? This was so damn idiotic.  And exhausting. Lisa of course knew his new nanny and she really liked her.  Mainly because she did not resemble the lunatic he used to have care for his children before.  

“Hi Lisa Marie.  Asha was out like a light earlier- I’m so glad she’ll stay with us for a couple of more days…” Carla greeted Lisa before heading back into her room.

A couple of more days? What had Michael told the woman?  

Michael cleared his throat and took Lisa’s hand again. Fuck! He seriously needed to stop touching her!

Pulling her into their daughter’s room, Lisa forgot to remove her hand as soon as she saw her sleeping baby.  Lisa stepped up and touched the little flushed cheek ever so lightly.  Asha made a little sound, and pulled her blanket closer to her cheek, as her thumb went straight into her mouth.

“See, she’s out like a light… Little Wiggles had an exciting day..” Michael whispered and Lisa looked over at him.  His eyes were again illuminated as they rested on their little miracle. The way his features totally changed when he looked at the little girl caused Lisa’s heart to twist inside her chest.  She knew he loved all the children.  Maybe she imagined it, but there was something about the way he looked at his youngest that always made her want to cry.  She could never identify the emotion behind it, either. Joy, sadness, love… but it never failed to slay her. 

Michael looked up and straight into her eyes.  His fingers held on to her firmly as he raised Lisa’s hand, kissing it.  Stirring up a million butterflies.  

“She’s so perfect, Lise.  Thank you…”  

Lisa felt the familiar tears starting to choke hair airways.  

“Michael…”  Of course Asha was perfect. She was like her father.  She represented the best in them. The parts that would forever remain indestructible. 

Not wanting him to see her at the verge of tears, and needing to escape the pull of his eyes, Lisa bent forward and kissed her baby’s forehead.

“Night, baby girl. Mommy is right here… “  

Asha moved and smiled in her sleep. 

Lisa started to straighten up and almost pumped heads with Michael, who also had lowered down to kiss the baby. “Just like Daddy promised you… Mommy and Daddy are both here…”

God… How odd that sounded. Mommy and Daddy… And how impossibly wonderful. 

Lisa pulled back before she’s seriously start bawling like a nitwit and headed for the door.  Michael lingered and  fussed around with Asha’s bed some more.

“I just wanna make sure she has nothing close to you know…smother herself… I mean, the monitor is on and all, but you can’t be too careful…” 

Lisa leaned against the door, totally mesmerized.  This was how all her dreams had once been.  And now, her night terrors.  God…this was so right, and so totally wrong.  What a cruel joke tonight turned out to be.  All her dreams before her.  So close. And so out of reach. Sudden panic grabbed her and threatened to pull her under.  

This was so impossibly hard! Why did she have to be reminded?  Why was life so fucking unfair? Why was she excluded from happiness in this cruel way?  

A tornado of emotions twisting her inside, she fled the scene and returned to the other suite.  She knew where the mini bar was, and thankfully, Donald had not redecorated too much. There you go.  Maybe drinking wasn't too great an idea seeing she needed her wits about her but she needed something to take the edge off. 

A sudden whining noise made Lisa jump, and almost head back where she came from.  Orienting to the interruption, she spotted the baby monitor.  Asha made a little sound.  Maybe she was waking up. She tended to do that lately: sudden crying in the middle of the night and the only thing that could calm her was to be rocked back to sleep by Lisa. Putting the bottle back down, Lisa automatically turned.  Great, if Asha was awake, she could leave. Fuck that injunction. Fuck Michael and his games! 

"Shhhh, baby girl...it's alright..." Michael’s voice came softly through the monitor.

"Daddy...." The little sleepy voice sounded so pitiful. 

"Daddy's right here, Wiggles.  Mommy is right here, too.  Right here with us.  It's alright, baby girl...it's all good. I love you so much...come here...there..." He started to hum and softly sing to her, making up words as he went along. Lisa could tell from the rusting he had picked her the little tyke up. Holding her breath, she had stopped, waiting to see if Asha would break into full out crying mode, wanting her Mom. Somehow, she knew the outcome, thought. Baby girl was alright tonight. She didn’t need her mom.  She had whom she needed right there with her.   

Mesmerized by Michael's voice, Lisa stood frozen in place.  The monitor picked up Asha's little sobs for a second longer, then all that was audible was the soothing, hypnotizing humming.

Blinking away a tear, Lisa turned the monitor off and her attention back to the now even more needed numbing agents before her.

Thankfully, Michael took his time and she was able to balance herself out with two shots of Grey Goose before she heard the door open again.  His steps were almost imperceptible.  Not that she needed to hear him to know he was in the room. She felt his presence.  Felt his eyes on her. 

“You sure you should shoot stuff on an empty stomach?”

Motherf….!  Always fucking judging her! Setting her chin, she whirled around. 

“Look.  I’ve about had it with you, Buster! You forced me to come here! My plans were to be home by now after a lovely dinner with my kids and family. But no…you had to throw your weight around and kidnap our child. And then harass me with legal shit! So excuse me for being totally exhausted and maybe needing a fucking drink! You’re not my father and you’re not my husband.  So fuck off, if you know what’s good for you, Michael, okay!” 

Without knowing what had happened, Lisa found herself just about in his face, her index finger pointed at him, his eyes taking her in.  That hint of humor again. God, she wanted to slap him so badly. Or kiss him... 

Danger, you little idiot... Back up.....WAY up... 

His eyebrow raised slightly.  “Gee, little firecracker. Who set you off?  Hey…how come the monitor is off… That’s odd..” Michael noticed the baby monitor and turned it back on.

He shot her a funny look then went back to where he left off, “All I’m saying is take it easy…No need to go attacking me, shorty.” 

Before she’d show him just how hard this shorty could hit, Lisa attempted to take some steps backward.  Of course she stumbled.  Dammit! Michael automatically reached out and steadied her.  God… His hands were on her upper arms. Her own free hand had gripped his forearm - felt his muscles tightening under her grip. The other hand was still clutching the glass, which currently was the only thing not burning up in flames.

Lisa's gaze slowly glided from where his hand held her to where she made contact with him, then rose to his eyes.  A tremble raced through her. Michael’s  mocking expression had been replaced with something far more dangerous.  Something even more scorching than his touch.  A lasso made of lava, threatening to pull her straight into the abyss of the volcano. 

"Let the fuck go of me…” The tone was supposed to be bitchy and cold. But she might as well have asked him to fuck her on the spot, given the husky result escaping her constricted throat.

The quality of his hold morphed from supporting to somehow seducing her in closer.  Close enough to feel his breath. Close enough to see a muscle twitch in his cheek.  To notice his stubble.  To feel an electric current when he bit his bottom lip in that familiar way.  Her own lips tingled, wishing his teeth had caressed her own flesh. 

Struggling to avoid being sucked into the black hole of his eyes, she instead focused on his mouth.  

Fucking, bad idea... 

Lisa closed her eyes, surrendering... Knowing there was no escape.  There was only him. His touch. The heat radiating toward her.  His scent.  His energy. 

Helplessly, her head tilted back. Tension left her face as he lips softened, anticipating the impact.

"Lisa..." His voice was a whisper at best. "Let's …uhm…let’s get that dinner up here... You're gonna pass out if we don't get food into you soon." 

Lisa's eyes flew open. She blinked.  What?  What needed to be gotten into her?  And why was he so far away? 

Michael indeed had backed away, but his hand was still on her.  

Oh. Shit. What had just happened?  Lisa took in a huge gulp of air.  Oh God. She felt sick.

"Lisa Marie, are you alright?  You look....flushed... You got a fever or something?”  He touched her forehead.

What?  Oh fucking hell! Dammit- and he could take his fake ass concern, roll it up in tiny pieces, and shove it up his…

No, come on..thinking of that sexy ass of his is not helping here.

"I'm....uhum....fine... Just …ah…you know..." 

Horny, overwhelmed, out of my league...

"Tired." Which was the least of her problems and actually a lie. But it was all her short circuiting brain could muster. 

"Come on. Sit down.”  Michael looked at her with great concern.  Concern.  What a lovely emotion from someone she just almost had kissed. Or wanted to be kissed by. 

Lisa wanted to laugh at herself.  Or cry. But if she’d start either, she might never stop again. 

Finally shaking off his hand, Lisa managed to turn and get another drink instead.  Maybe two had not been enough.  

Or maybe, you should be super smart and ask where you can park that huge trunk Lish packed and find a safe spot to roll up and lick your wounds.  Or better yet...find a nice, cold shower.  To cure that fever.  For which there was no cure, really.  But one... Which was not going to happen.

Mainly because, obviously, Michael had zero interest.  Which worked out. Cause she seemed to have a matching set of zero brain, zero defenses, and two plus years worth of pent up sexual frustration. So, it was all good right? Not like she was a barrel of gasoline next to an open flame.  And the open flame had no intention at all of blowing her world sky high.  Which was smart.  She was grateful really.  Or should be, anyway. Someone had to keep a cool head.  Perfect! Then why did she feel like having a breakdown any second now? 

Bottoms up, loser! If one poison decides to reject you, there's always the lesser evil. 

"Lise. You're gon' be sick if you keep drinking. And then it's somehow gonna be my fault. So, why don't you at least wait till that food gets here?"  Michael put down his phone.  What was up with him and the sudden focus on food? Never had been a priority before. Now he was all about it. Well, he had to do something to get away from the crazy bitch with the hungry eyes. 

"It is your fault! Why am I here? You! You fucking blackmailed me!"

"I blackmailed you?" his voice made that little flip like when he held back a giggle. 

What the fuck was so funny?

"How would you call it?"

"I'd call it my attempt to talk some sense into you."

Lisa eyed him wryly. "And how's that working for y'a? Cheers."

This time he did laugh out loudly. "Not all that great so far." 

She raised her glass to him and took another sip.  “You’re gonna join me?”

“Ah…I don’t think that’s a bright idea.  I guess I’m the designated adult tonight.”

“My, my.  You’re just so damn perfect, aren’t ch’a? The perfect father. The perfect adult. The perfect…whatever else you are.”

“Man, you’re on a roll, aren’t y’a?  What did I ever do… I mean… recently. Oh wait. You done told me. I kidnapped our child and am blackmailing you. Anything else you wanna lay at my doorstep?” 

Yeah! She sure did. He had dared to move on. And to…not need her. At all. To be just fine and dandy.  

“I think that’s quite enough… oh- and you got all sneaky and got in to see my show.”  Lisa glared at him. Telling herself to ignore how ridiculous she sounded.

He laughed again.  “I’m such a bad, bad person! I went to see your show?  The show with …how did your newest ex say: the show with the songs all about me? And I’m trying to keep our child out of harm’s way?  I mean- why don’t you just call Sneddon up and have me arrested, Lisa. I’m sure he’d be helpful.”

She wasn’t even going to dignify that comment about her songs with an answer. 

“She is not in harm’s way! Will you stop fucking saying that? As you know I got my own security. And she’s just fine! Why would she be in any more danger than Riley or Ben, or the twins? Or am I such a horrific mother that I’m putting them all at risk?”  

Michael simply looked at Lisa the way one looked at a slightly slow, or slightly annoying child.  The answer was so fucking obvious, and she knew it had been an idiotic thing to say.  Asha Michael Presley Jackson was not just any child.  She was both their Achilles Heel.  And Lisa was well aware that her little expose was risky.  But Asha was well protected.  Much more so than the other kids.  And Lisa was actually worried sick about Ri and Ben who were almost impossible to protect since she could not contain them- and they refused to be secluded or surrounded by security.

“Look, you are a wonderful mother.  You damn well know I always loved how fiercely protective you are of all your children.  And I already have thought about the other kids as well.  I talked to Riley and Ben about it and they agreed…”

“You talked to Ri and Ben about what?” she interrupted him.  

“What? I can’t talk to them?” He read her tone correctly.  Yes, she was on the attack. 

“I can’t tell you what to do. You do whatever the fuck you please anyway. But Riley and Ben are not your concern.”  Lisa, folding her arms in front of her defiantly.  Was this stupid night not over yet?  What the fuck was the point? 

“Lisa!” He ran his hand through his hair, finally showing some frustration. “For real? You might find it distasteful to be anywhere near me, but the kids love me.  And they ARE my concern. They are family. Plus,  Riley and Ben are adults…or just about adults. They know the score.  They understood when we talked and they agreed to some added security.”

“Well, aren’t you special.”  Lisa huffed,  trying to conceal her relief.  What did it matter whom they had listened to as long as they’d be fine.  

“No, no, I’m not special…” He took several steps and grabbed her arm.  “I’m not special at all. But Asha is.  Our child is.  And I would do anything…I mean anything, Lisa… I’d go to any lengths to protect her.  And if I think your silly, stubborn pride is putting her at risk, I ain’t gonna stand by. Not anymore…”

“I am not putting her at risk.” When did he get so close again?  She could once again see every line in his face.  And that despite her eyes getting more than shitty and her blood alcohol level finally making her feel slightly better.  

“Every day she is without both her parents you put her at risk.  Every day you put some third person between us, you’re putting her at risk.  How long you think till she starts wondering why her parents don’t even say hi?  Why Mommy and Daddy can’t be in the same room for two seconds… Why Daddy can’t be at her birthday party? What will you tell her when she’s old enough to ask questions… Have you thought about that?”

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

Yes, of course. Of course she had thought about this.  So many sleepless nights.  She kept thinking about this…nonstop actually. The answer was simple. By the time Asha could ask, Lisa would be over Michael.  It had to happen sometime. Right?  One day it would not hurt to be near him.  One day it would not tear her apart to see them together.  One day she would not want him.  One day she would not love him.

“I don’t know… You tell me.”  Offense was the best defense at times.  Lisa moved in closer.  “You tell me. You’re the master of fairy tales.  You lied to your other daughter…to spare her, right?”

His eyes narrowed.  She could see the anger sparking as the storm developed in those dark, seductive depths. “Don’t you dare.  You know damn well what I went through with Paris.  How I paid for …for my mistake.  And don’t you dare compare the mess with Deb and how Paris got…got confused, don’t you dare compare that to our child.”

“Why? What’s so fucking different, Michael?  You knocked Deb up to get what you wanted.  And then…I got knocked up. And voila- you got what you wanted again. Funny, that, right?”

Michael swallowed hard and the muscles in his jaw tightened.  She could tell he was getting real’ pissed off. Well, great.  Finally she was not alone anymore! 

His grip on her arm tightened and he pulled her into him.  “Did I? Did I get what I wanted, Lisa?  How the fuck would you have any idea of what I want?  You haven’t been ‘round to know shit-all about me. As far as Deb and Paris…I learned my lesson.  I made it through hell with my daughter to get her to understand the way…the way things were. The way things are now.  And I’d do it again. ‘Cause I know I fucked up when I tried to spare her.  And it hurt her. Hurt her badly.  And I’m telling you right here and right now: There’s no way in hell I’m gonna put Asha through that. And I ain’t standing by while you do it, either.  So you start thinking, baby.  You start thinking how you’re gonna explain to our child why you can’t be in the fucking room with the man you created her with- and then maybe, maybe you can explain it to me. Cause we didn’t have an arrangement about money and surrogacy.  We had…we had…love. And passion. And now you can’t even be ‘round me for her birthday.”

They stared at each other.  A dangerous storm of tears born from anger and pain clouding both their eyes.  

A knock on the door caused Michael to blink first and step away.  Turning his back toward her, he ran his hand through his hair again.  Lisa, panting, and fighting for control, took several deep breaths, and she saw him do the same as he went toward the door.

There was her chance!  The chance to do the only thing she could do: Escape.  Fast. 

Following her memory, she made it toward the bedroom.  The master bedroom.  Whatever.  Throwing the door shut, she sank against it, closing her eyes for a moment.  Oh God.  Why?  Why did he have to remind her what they had?  Why did he have to force her to face all this shit?  She was not equipped.  Not after a show.  Not without warning. Not without…without having had a chance to somehow guard her heart.  

Opening her eyes, the first thing that came into focus was the huge bed.  Oh, great! On the nightstand pictures of all the kids.  And a picture of her and Michael together…was that Vegas? And one of her holding Asha after she was born.  That familiar pain again twisting her very being.  Great- she hadn’t escaped far enough. 

Somehow Lisa made it into the bathroom.  Washing her face with cold water helped a tad bit.  She stared at herself in the mirror.  Her pale face.  Blazing eyes.  Looking like a trapped animal.  A trapped fly too close to its favorite pheromone flytrap.  

Come on, Lisa.  Go eat and play it cool.  You’re the queen of cool. Nothing can phase you these days.  Remember? Doesn’t every person who interviews you comment on how contained you are? Mature?  Reserved?  Go thank him for wanting to protect Asha.  You can do this.  

This what? Agree that he can come to Memphis?  Have him close? Go through more of…this torture?

No…no…there had to be another way.  She’d figure it out. 

When she returned to the main suite, the table was set.  Michael had ordered fried chicken, mashed potatoes, cornbread, greens…he was so not playing fair.

“Since you’re missing your first Memphis meal, I thought I’d make up for that at least.”

Lisa bit her lip.  “Thank you.”  Of course he would recall how she loved to eat that good old southern cookin’.  Just like he did…

“You’re welcome.”  Michael came around and pulled the chair out for her.  Damn… This cool and remote, polite man surely was no the same who had been hissing at her angrily just moments ago.  Sadly, she could not discern which version of him made things more difficult.

Forcing herself to load the first bite onto the fork, she realized she indeed had been famished as soon as the delicious food touched her lips. Focusing on her food, she was almost able to block out that she was not alone.  Almost.  Every now and then, she stole a glance at Michael, who was just picking around on his food.

“Aren’t you hungry?”

“I ate with Wiggles before I brought her over to you earlier.” Michael refilled Lisa’s water glass and place it before her.  “Here. Make sure you drink. I bet you’re dehydrated.”

“At least I don’t have to be hooked up to a drip…” she grinned up at him mischievously. 

“Hey, I don’t know. You beat the crap out of those drums.  That was real cool.” He returned her smile. Something warm spread in her belly. And it wasn't from the potatoes. 

“Thanks…”

Both heads lowered and observed their food again.

They returned to somewhat awkward silence.

“Hey, I got some chocolate donuts for you, too. Remember that place you used to love right ‘round the corner? It’s still there.  I was out there the other day and almost fainted when I saw it.”

Lisa looked up, truly surprised.  “You remember that?  For real?”

He ignored her question. “Tea?  Decaf.  I wasn’t sure I should get caffeinated stuff. I mean, I don’t know if you’re like me…but you know…you know how I got after shows…”  Blushing, he didn’t end the sentence.

Oh yeah. She indeed knew.

“I’m good on the tea. Got some red wine?”

He smiled at her. “You still like red wine with your chocolate fix? See? I remember everything, Lisa.”

She was going to ignore the way his voice dipped lower. And the butterflies his words supplied.  

Shifting in her seat, she laughed nervously. “Hey...I try not to…the wine and chocolate, I mean, but hey. I gave up smoking and sex. So I gotta have some vice.”

As soon as she said it she wanted to bite her tongue off. Great! Why did she have to go there?

No talk about sex, Lisa! Not around here. Not around him.  Not while feeling as if she was sitting on a nest of vibrators.   Jeeze.

She caught his renewed blush before he turned to get the decanter with red wine.

At least he was a gentleman and let the last comment slide.

“Wow…all work and no play, Lise? Don’t that make you a boring girl?” He looked up at her from below his lashes.  Her heart dropped straight into her panties.  Fuck! So much for him letting that slide…

“I whack my drums for excitement these days.”  

He nodded, smiling. 

“Oh- I meant to tell you. Well…I didn’t know how, but I hoped to tell you: When we were at the toy store earlier, Wiggles got into some drums. You should have seen her.  It was hilarious.  She didn’t wanna stop. I let her play for a bit, then told her it’s time to stop. She got really mad and told me no, she’s being like Mommy.  And if she wasn’t  a little pissed off version of you...drumsticks pointed at me. Her little pout all set in place. Shooting daggers. It was so comical- I had to try real hard to not laugh.”

Man, the way Michael lit up when he talked about their baby girl was something to behold.  Lisa could not help but laugh.  She knew exactly what he was talking about. Asha already had a bright future as a drummer.  And she was more than pissed if someone interrupted her art.  

“Yeah, she gets quite passionate about those drums.  I got her a little set for her birthday actually…”  

She stopped laughing and again wanted to slap herself.  Way to step onto another land mine.

Michael looked down and Lisa reached for her wine.  

“Lisa…I …”

“Michael…”

They both started at the same time.  Okay then.  Guess play time was over.  They needed to get this talking thing done.  And it seemed they both knew the time had come.

“Sorry…you go…” Michael looked up at her.

“It’s..it’s fine.  I …I just wanted to say that…that I know you love her.  I know you love her more than life.  And I know you wanna be there for her birthday.  I…I… It’s just…right now…right now is not a good time.”

Great Lisa.  Very eloquent. And very convincing.  He will no doubt call his lawyer right this second, wake him, and tell him the injunction is a no go as he was convinced you’re right. Dimwit. 

Michael stared at her and seemed to think something over.  He took a breath and opened his mouth, then looked back down, biting his lip.  Reaching over, he poured himself a glass of wine.

“To our baby girl.  Almost two years old.”  He held his glass up and Lisa, hesitantly raised her’s as well.  

“She’s amazing…and she’s…she’s so much like you.  I mean..the way she always sings, hops around, her laughter…she so full of spirit.  She glows…”  Lisa looked at him, blinking, hoping he would not hear how tears choked her and made talking difficult.

Michael looked at her with an odd expression.  She almost expected he was going to inform her he did not ‘hop around.’  But no… He kept silent.  Obviously, engaged in his own silent battle. His eyes once again burning into her.

“Do you still love me?”

UPDATE PART 3: Sunday, Jan 11, 2015

The words were delivered into the silence with the impact of an atom bomb.  Stealthy release. Disastrous result. 

Thoughts were trying to escape from the cocoon of buzzing in Lisa’s ears as her whole brain became engulfed in the narcotic mushroom cloud of his question. 

Did she still love him????

What?  If she had to bet on anything he could have possibly said to her, those words would never have been on her list.  Numbly, Lisa shook her head as if to dislodge a water plug in her ears. Or to make sure she was not making this shit up.  No, he did not just ask that.  She must have been mistaken…those could not have been the words coming out of his mouth just then.  No way did he set his laser sharp scope right to her heart.  And it sure enough felt as if she’d been hit.  The verbal bullet ripping right through her kevlar.  The zapped muscle skipped a beat in some arhythmic dance, then fluttered like a bird banking against the window of a room it had accidentally flown into.  A forbidden room.  One long sectioned off from the light of the sun. From life. Lisa stared at Michael without comprehension.  Her lips going dry.  Too much alcohol.  The stupid adrenaline.  The familiar surrounding.  Him right there - his eyes swallowing her soul.  

“Was that a no?  I’m confused- you just shook your head…”  

Had she? What?  Oh…no…wait… Not NO! 

Don’t let him know. He shouldn’t see..he shouldn’t know… Remember? 

“Wha…what?” she managed to croak out.

“I asked if you still love me, Lisa Marie.” That tone again. The strained patience.  Lisa could tell he breathed deeply to stay calm as he repeated his simple seeming question. 

Okay, then.  So much for not hearing correctly.

The room seemed to tilt and her hands gripped the chair somewhat helplessly.  

Did she love him?  

No, not at all. Only with every breath she took. With every ounce of her being.  With every beat of her idiotic heart.  

“What the fuck?  Why… What you mean? Do I love you?  Why the fuck would you ask me that?”    Okay. Good. That would convince him.  No evidence laying around, after all…

I will always love you- You can move on, dear.

I was wrong. I love him - now he’s gone.

There you go, Lisa.  Smart.  Great plan. You should get a nobel price for stupidity for that one.  What were you thinking, you deranged lunatic? Not like he will ever come to your shows. Or will ever listen to your whole fucking deluxe edition album…  Why didn’t you just tattoo it onto your forehead. Lisa loves Michael. Forever. The End. 

Stall.  There you go.  Good job.  Maybe there will be some summer brown out, power will go out, and you can take the fuck off and escape this nightmare.  

“Well…I mean. It seems like a good question to start with." He talked very quietly.  His head lowered.   "You wanted to talk.  Well…I wanted to talk for a bit now.  Like almost two years, but who’s counting.  You didn’t get my letters?  My messages? Cause you sure kept evading me.  But hey…  I’m not gonna go dig in the past. Here you are. Now we can talk.  Right? Get stuff straight. I mean… We got a child together.  You keep moving heaven and hell to not be around me.  Heaven forbid you ever pick Asha up. Or drop her off.  Could make a less secure person think you hate my guts.  So…you know.  I didn’t know.  And then tonight... I mean…wow.  I heard some of it before, but to see you...to see you when you deliver some of your lyrics.  I don't know... So, there are two explanations. One is you hate me.  Do you hate me?” With the last sentence his eyes drilled into her once more. She could tell how tense he was by the lines on his jawline.  

Had he found some whacky weed? What the hell was he on?  Searching his eyes she saw no trace of any chemical madness. Just regular Michael shingling a laser into the dark crevices of her heart in some sort of exploratory surgery.  Well, the good news was that she obviously had done a great job over the years covering up her tracks. No more open book Lisa!  But hearing him ask that question?  If she hated him…  She never wanted him to think that! Just…just…

God! She couldn’t think! Not with him looking at her. And as he laid out his case she did sound like a total idiot.  But God, he had hurt her so badly.  How did one recover from that and become reasonable? So here they were…and time was ticking by.  As were her chances. 

Lisa swallowed, forcing her voice to work. “Do… I …hate you?  Do you mean right now or in general?”

Michael laughed, his features relaxing.  “Well…let’s start with in general. Oh, and I forgot option three, but I think we can rule that out. Cause if you were indifferent, I doubt you’d go through all those maneuvers that would put at guerrilla warfare general to shame.”

Shit, so the indifference boat had obviously sailed.  Maybe she could sell him on hatred after all.

Go for it girl! Make him believe it. You done it before.  Or was that yourself you had tried to fool?

“No, no." She started off slowly.  "I...I don’t generally hate you.  I mean shit.  Like you said, we have a baby.  I love her.  How can I hate you? I mean, other than right now. You’re really pissing me off right this minute.”

And I- you know I tell the truth. …

So, now you let the indifference and the hatred boats sail off.  Pretty empty harbor there, Lisa. What’s left?   But it wasn't too late. Something brilliant was going to pop into her head any second now.

Michael smiled at her last comment, and all she could think for a second was how utterly beautiful he looked when the skin around his eyes crinkled in that cute way she could not recall.  Then, he turned serious again, seemingly lost in thought.  She saw his eyes squinting as he probably replayed her response and ran some sort of genius equation.  His faced relaxed once more. 

 “So…you love me.” 

Seemed like he did not trust the result of his little math problem all the way there.  

Michael raised his eyebrow as he obviously waited for denial or admission.  His eyes so dark, so seductive...so open to her.  When he allowed himself to be like this, she fucking had no defenses.  Not when the real Michael was in the room, sucking her into his madness once again like the force of nature he was. Their shared madness. 

Run! 

“Michael…” Lisa pushed the chair back, attempting to escape the intensive heat of his interrogation.  If at least he’d used spotlight in his interrogation. Not that expression… All her iron clad armor was starting to bubble and soften like spun sugar. She had to retreat and regroup.  Lisa moved away from the table, her head held low, shoulders slumped forward.  

Turning her back, she heard his chair move as well. Dammit. 

“No…No more running, Lisa Marie.  I’ve had it with running.  I'm tired. Worn out.  And we’re gonna get to the root of all this now.  And you can't say I didn't try being patient.  I done gave you space to run. Figuring you needed that to sort through stuff.  Needed it to get over what went down with us before…before we knew about the baby.  I get that, really.  I felt like shit.  And I gave you time.  And space. But no more. Two years plus a pregnancy is enough, and now you're run out of space to hide. ”

Indeed she had. Quite literally. Lisa had made it to the window, staring out onto the city below. Her hands felt the cool granite of the window sill.  Her gaze fell below.  So much light.  Sparkling diamonds.  The still busy streets.  People going about their business like ants running through some drill.  Their busy dance seemed less frantic than the thoughts in her head or the beating of her heart.  Her whole system felt under attack by his question.  His honesty.  Him.  Maybe taking a leap to join the ants down below was less dangerous than this room...

Michael grabbed her arm and turned her.  “You hear, me, Lisa? No more running. No more evading me. No more hiding from whatever you’re hiding from. I wanna know.  I gotta know. I got a right to know…"

He pulled her closer, and she closed her eyes.  A childish move.  But hey…maybe if she couldn’t see him he wouldn't be able to spot her.  Spot the truth she had worked so hard to hide.  Suddenly she felt tired. Exhausted. Eviscerated and bled out. 

“Lisa…you gotta tell me… I ain’t gonna stop asking: Do…”  His energy pushed toward her as she felt him closing in.  

Her own heart beat so hard she barely could hear him.  Instinctively, she turned her head. One more attempt at flight.

“You…” Hot breath was on her face…on her cheek.  

“Love…”  Hot lips scorched her skin as he hovered a hair’s breadth from her, turning her face toward him again with the light brush of his hand.

“Me?”  His lips now making contact with her own in the lightest contact, sending enough electricity through her to power this city for a whole year.

Lisa’s eyes flew open as if her dead heart had been shocked back to life.  He was so damn close.  The outline of his face was fuzzy- but his eyes were oh so clear.  She smelled the wine on his breath.  She was drunk.  Drunk on his presence.

"What does it matter?" Her voice was a husky whisper.

He looked at her as if she was crazy. His lips curving upward lightly. ”What does it matter? Girl...you some kind of crazy... Fine...don't tell me...with words..."

His hand suddenly was behind her neck and he pulled her into him. His lips that time not gentle at all, but crashing down on her.  No more teasing and convincing. This was a claim.  A demand.   

Lisa felt as if she watched a drop of water slowly descending onto the drought gutted, parched soil. The impact both desired and destructive, blowing the top layer apart as nurturing liquid was absorbed with a hiss.

Her moan mirrored that coming to life birth call of nature as she greedily opened herself up to the onslaught.  For a moment, her hands clutched the curtain behind her, before they abandoned that last tie to her sanity and she abandoned everything, instead holding on to all she needed.  Him. Michael.  

The conquerer felt her concession.  Aggressively, his kiss deepened, his tongue forged forward and she welcomed the soft steel.  Being affected too, he made one of those little sounds she once had lived for, and she inhaled his breath, for the first time in so long... Lift-off! Lisa soared into the universe, wanting to laugh, wanting to cry. Welcoming the rush of new life.  The realization that she had been dead before- and was now being restored making her dizzy.

All the colors of the rainbow exploded behind her tightly shut eyelids and all the boundaries of her body blurred.  She felt his hands on her face. His lips moving to her cheek, her neck, her ear..

She felt the skin of her face relax into the first real smile in year.  Oh yes...

"Can you feel why it matters?  Taste why it matters?  Don't you know..." He panted into her ear before he sucked on her earlobe, detonating a million fire crackers inside her body.

“Michael...Mike...oh...shit..." Somehow his name over and over was the only verbal output her brain was able to muster.  He had skinned her completely with the blade of his kisses and caresses… Her nerves were stripped of all insulation.  No more protection. No more pretense.  Her own hands itched to feel his muscles, roaming over his arms, his back, lower... So familiar and so new...  

Some unwelcome thoughts sprang up like nets trying to catch the butterflies.  Stop it.  Be sane.  Be careful…. Just one more kiss then she'd stop. 

Michael must have read her mind because he once again framed her face with his hands.  His lips deepened the kiss, his tongue kept her captive, and she melted into him once more. No more stopping.  No more sanity.  No more caution.  Butterflies belonged to freedom- no nets required.  Nothing required.  But Michael.  The man she had spent all her time running away from.  Right here, reviving her soul.

The kiss continued and Lisa became keenly aware of his body pressing into her... Her hands found skin as her feverish grasp roamed down his back, pushing his shirt out of the way.  She felt him tremble and he moaned into her mouth as his tongue stroked against hers, keeping the flames fanned.  Before they passed out, he once again backed off slightly. 

"Tell me...tell you you don't love me, Princess...tell me you don't feel that kiss..." His hand moved from her face town her neck and to her heart. "Right here..."

Oh, there were so many places she felt that kiss... Her unruly pelvis rubbed against him as she tried to regain some sort of control over her body. And her frazzled mind.

Vulnerability found its siblings fear, defense, and anger.

What the fuck was his point? Why the hell did he care? Why did he want to know? Why did he have to always make his victories so fucking complete? 

What was this about anyway? Did he think he could fuck her into submission and she'd hand over their child? Where did he feel the moment? Because it was damn certain that rod pressed into her was a sign that someone wanted to get laid.  Well…someone other than herself.

Old fears returned like a flood.  Who was using whom?  Because if this was about something else altogether she might just be horribly lost.  She’d fall.  And what if he wasn’t there to catch her?  She pushed away slightly.

Before she knew what she was doing, she found her hand on his raging hard cock.  For a moment she was stunned.  God, he felt so right.  But this was so wrong, and she had to end it.  Counterattack! Don’t soften…stay hard. And she wasn’t talking to his appendage.

"Where do you feel that kiss, Mike?" She squeezed and she noticed his sharp intake of air.  His eyes flew down, then back up.  Michael blinked He looked stunned. Surprised. 

Good. She could deal when she operated on anger.  And maybe she’d piss him off enough to allow for time to get onto safe ground. 

"Is that was all this is about? You wanna fuck?  You’re so smart, right? You got me up here, got my daughter up here to prove you still da man? You still can get Lisa out of her panties? Why didn't you just say so to begin with? I mean, hey, we were fuckbuddies before.  Or is that not what you want at all? Is this all more about breaking me down? Showing that you're in control...proving..." 

"Woman!" he called out, cutting her off. The expression in his dark orbs was witness to how pissed off he was getting now. 

He covered her hand with his, pushing it even more onto his pulsing cock.  Fuck.  She  swallowed.  Yeah, this was going well. Her attack was paying off… Her pussy became more flooded.  Why, oh, why did she always fall on her own sword?  Or his sword…

“For real?  Really? That’s all you got, you little chicken?  You wanna come at me? Don’t you dare, Lisa.  Don’t you dare to try turn tables on me.  It ain’t working, either. So- as nice as your little hand feels on my junk, this ain’t what it’s all about believe it or not. And I think you know that.”

They glared at each other for a second.  An eternity.  

Lisa could not decide if she was annoyed or delighted that he called her bluff and still knew her better than she knew herself. 

“So…You don’t wanna fuck?” She raised an eyebrow and challenged his assertion.  Why? Fuck, if she knew. Funny thought, how her mocking statement almost came out like hurt rejection. 

Reading her correctly once more, Michael rolled his eyes and sighed up to heaven. “Lisa, you little damn idiot! I didn’t say I don’t want you.  Do I wanna fuck?  No.  Do I wanna make love to you? Yes, very much so. But girl, that’s not all I want. Not by a long shot. So cut the bull, will y’a?”

Why did him calling her an idiot suddenly made her feel all warm and gooey inside?  

“What do you want then?  Can YOU cut the bull and finally get to the point?  I’m getting really tired of this, Mike…” Lisa had meant to scream at him, but her voice was just a little injured whisper.

“Yeah, you and me, both.  Come here…”  Michael, removing her hand, holding her by her wrist, stepped into her again, his other arm coming around her in a sweet embrace as his lips lowered once more.  This time the kiss was sweet: soothing, promising, healing.  Letting his mouth caress her first one way, then the other, his tongue started playing with her lips.  His teeth nibbling on her between kisses, as he held her.  

Exhaling deeply, Lisa’s defensive anger dissipated as if someone had pulled the plug on a tub.  She melted into him, relaxing into the sheltering embrace surrounding her like the wings of angels.  Tension totally left her body.  All that remained were all these other crazy, longing, driving, almost painful feelings.  Emotions she was sure were only too visible to him when they both opened their eyes again.

“Michael…please…”  Maybe pleading would help.  If only she knew what she was pleading for at this moment.

Michael looked at her, seemingly for once not knowing what to do.  He bit his lip. “You know what?  Come with me…”  Not giving her all that much of a choice he pulled her into the bedroom.

Oh great! Lisa didn’t know what the hell to think anymore.  Probably cause her brain was mush.

“Sit down.”  His macho voice didn’t turn her on more at all.  Nope.  Squirming, she sat down.

Not being able to be totally compliant, Lisa started to say something, and he put a finger to her lips.  “Shush! You will be quiet now for a moment okay?  I’m gonna fill you in on a truth or two and then you make your choice.  And if you choose to walk away, I swear by everything that is holy, I won’t stop you.  And I’ll bring Asha to you first thing in the morning and tear the injunction up.  You take her with you and we continue somehow as before.  We’ll figure it out.  She will never know the difference anyway, right? Not like she ever had us together, so us being apart is normal to her. Right?”

What the fuck was he saying?  And was he for real?  His last words were accompanied by a flash of pain in his eyes- and the echo of that reverberated in her very being.  Was she finally winning?  If so, why did she feel as she stood to lose everything?  

“You’re gonna let her go with me?  Without you going?” her voice repeated, feeling totally bland and colorless.

“That’s what I just said.”

Lisa’s eyes tried to detect some sort of deceit and only found honesty.  So. Fucking. Confusing! “Why? Why suddenly?” 

Michael started to laugh.  “Girl- can you shut up for like five minutes? Please?”

“Look, here, buster.  You can’t tell me…”  Getting her spirit back somehow, she started to rise.

He titled his head and gave her that funny, exasperated look.  Fine! She sat back down.

What is it, little chicken? Afraid he’s calling your bluff? Afraid he’s really gonna let you go? Afraid he confirms what you knew all along.  That he is done…done with you…

Lisa took a deep breath. Telling herself to keep the rising panic at bay.  How much longer till she exploded, anyway?  How much more could she take?

She made a zipping motion on her lips and folded her hands in her lap.  There.  

“Great. Thank you. So- One of the reasons I wanted to talk to you tonight is cause I have something to give you.”

Lisa eyed him suspiciously. Yeah….no shit.

Turning, he went to the desk in the room and handed her a small package.  About the size of a book.  But thinner.

Lisa started to say something and he imitated her zipping movement from before.

Fine.

With trembling, barely operational hands, Lisa opened the simple white paper.  It was …an iPad… He called her over and tortured her all for his burning need to gift her with an iPad? 

.

“Ah…Thanks…but I got one already.”

“Turn it on. Go to videos.”

What? Was it time to watch movies now?  She wanted to scream! This man was so damn frustrating! Who did this? Who went from seduction to movie watching in no time flat? 

Unless it was…

“You’re not gonna show me some porn to get me back into the mood, are y’a?”  Lisa looked up at him, smirking.  No need to fill him in to the fact that she never lost her mood.

“Leave it to you, girl!” Michael broke out laughing.  “It’s locked…but you know the code…”

Watching the iPad power up, Lisa stared at the picture of their child greeting her.  Once again she thought how much their eyes were alike.  Except for the strange mixture of black and violet Asha sported. She knew the code? Jesus…everything was a guessing game with him.

Running on pure intuition, entered Asha’s birthday and- voila, she was in.  

The wall paper was a picture of her with Asha. Taken on her first birthday last year. Damn…What was he doing?

Michael sat down next to her.  She held her breath, her finger lingering above the video icon.  

“Touch it…it ain’t gon’ bite.” 

No, but this whole thing bit.  It sucked ass! 

“Michael…why don’t you just tell me…”

“Cause I tried telling you, but you’re so damn stubborn.  So… This is something I threw together for you. It’ll tell you everything you want to know.”

Great. Now the newly minted movie creator was showing off his cinematography just for her. He probably expected her to be honored. 

Getting tired of her stalling, Michael touched the icon for her, taking charge of the situation,  granting her no out.

The screen was dark, then the images started with a rattle as if they were filmed with an old fashioned movie camera.  

White letters on black background:  “The Story”

Static, then “Beginnings…” 

Black started to fade and fuzzy, grainy shapes rose to the surface.  Hard to make out at first, and yet she would have known the images anywhere.  They started with pictures of her as a baby…with her parents.  Her Dad holding her.  Some footage from what she knew to be family owned home videos.  How in the world had he gotten a hold of those?

The silent rattling morphed into her father’s voice.  Tears rose in her eyes and she looked over at Michael, who had his game face on.  The one he used to go over material in a studio or when assessing a video project.  The only noticeable motion was supplied by a muscle ticking in his jaw.  She felt his tension seeping into her system and merging with  the tornadic action of her own nerves twisting inside. 

More images of her childhood…then things become fuzzy again and the images became replaced by footage of Michael as a child.  Some familiar, some she had never seen before.

The soundtrack had changed as well.  It was a perfectly matched auditory backdrop to the landscape unfolding before her.  Her father, Michael, her own songs…songs highlighting the images that spun a cocoon around her.  Images of Michael and her.  Images she had tried to bury in the very back of her mind.  Their first, hidden encounters.  Pictures …stills and moving, only known to them.  Holding hands…playing..laughing… Them up high above Neverland.  Him holding the camera as they kissed…

Lisa was transported to a different universe.  It was all there.  Their journey…their joy.  Their love.  Their pain… Their story. When Michael’s voice filled the room singing “Don’t Walk Away” she noticed she was crying as the screen showed them on second their anniversary in 1996…before she did just that. Walked away.  

The images sped up and became fluid. The colors sharper… Lisa closed her eyes at some point, feeling the tears streaming down her face.  She didn’t need to see it….all the cells were all there, playing behind her closed eye-lids.

She barely made it through the images of her pregnancy… She had never realized how many pictures of her he had taken.  When the camera zoomed to a picture of his hand on her very pregnant belly, she braced herself on the bed, feeling her fingers clutch the bedspread.  Then she felt something else…his warm hand on her.

Baby Asha blinked into the camera and Lisa’s heart ached.  He had footage of material she knew was her own… Riley and Ben playing with Asha.  The twins swinging her in her baby swing.  All three girls taking a bath, hugging…

The last images were of the girls at the toy store.  From their outfits she could tell it was their latest trip.  Asha was beaming up at the man who no doubt was holding the camera.

“Daddy? Go see Mommy now?” Her little arms were stretched out and the camera darkened.

More static.  

The atonal white noise stunned her back to the present as if she had been defibrilated. Lisa was paralyzed.  Frozen in place.  Feeling cold- expect for the one place where she was connected to him.  To life.  To her life that had just literally been flashed before her.  Like that day when she thought he had died.  The day she thought she had lost him forever.  When nothing had mattered but her burning need to not lose him.  

Letters appeared on the dark screen through the curtain of her tears.  

“All great works remain unfinished.  There is no ending as long as there is love…”

A huge image of Asha’s face froze on the screen before her.  

Silence.

Their breaths playing the bassline.  Her heart setting the frantic tempo.

“Is there, Lisa?  Love? Love beyond the love for our child? Do you …do you still love me?”

Michael’s voice.  Not from the screen.  From beside her.  Not images of a life she had thought lost.  The present. Sitting right next to her.

“Why are you doing this?”  She sniffled, her voice barely making it without crying again.

“Cause. Because I love you. Because I am not giving up.  On us. On our family.  On you and me.  Cause contrary to what you think, I know what’s happening.  Or I think I know anyway. I think you love me. And I think you’re scared.  I know I hurt you. And I know you hurt me.  I know you don’t wanna risk it.  You think you can’t risk it.  But look at her… And before you misinterpret me on purpose again. Yes, I love her.  And I want us all together. But not just because. Not because…because what did you say before? Because I have this idea of a family.  I wanted you before.  I ran the last time. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not making excuses.  I know what I did. I know what that did to you.  When I ran out. Cause it did the same to me.  I thought I had to run, when really, what I needed to do was stay and let you help me through it all.  I’m so sorry. I told you am million times before.  I can’t say it enough to ever make up for what I broke that day. Or bent.  Badly.  But Lisa… For some reason God gave us another shot.  He gave us everything. And I don’t wanna throw it away with both hands.  Not when I got this hope.  This voice telling me you might still love me.  Maybe not as much as I love you. But enough to keep you running like a maniac for two years.”

Lisa stared at him.  One by one his words seeped through the almost solidified dam of her fears. Her doubts.  Her beliefs.  

He said he knew she loved him?  Or that he thought she loved him?  Oh God…he had no idea. 

And more incredibly…he said he…

“You love me?”  The voice definitely belonged to the scared, hurt little girl inside. 

“God!”  Michael turned and grabbed her, kissing her hard on the mouth.  

Just as sudden, he let her go.  Lisa touched her burning lips.

He loved her?

Holy. Shit.

He still loved her! 

Wait…

“But…no.  You…you moved on… I mean…look at you.  You…you changed. You changed everything about you.  You…you really pulled it together.  Your life….your career..the way you do things… no more victim act… You changed.”

He laughed. “You say that as if it’s an accusation.  Yeah, I changed.  Things weren’t working.  How many times had you said that to me?  I had hit rock bottom. That day when I left.  I was dead inside. There was nothing left.  And then the miracle occurred.  It all was so damn clear.  It was scary as shit, Lisa, don’t get me wrong.  But I either had to make some changes or walk around dying more and more.  And since I didn’t like that part the last time it almost happened, I decided to try living instead.” 

“But…” she protested, not really knowing what she was still fighting against.

“Nothing, but. Hey- wait. You think I changed the way I feel ‘bout you?  Is that it? That I changed because I don’t love you?”

Bingo.  Man, was she that transparent? Something like that.  She lowered her head.

Lisa felt his eyes on her, then he suddenly burst out laughing.  

Irritating man! What the fuck? 

Lisa jumped to her feet, taking care to put the ipad down on the bed carefully. It contained her whole life, after all. 

“Stop that! Stop laughing at me! It’s not funny…” She planted her feet, bracing her hands on her hips. 

Michael got up and grabbed her shoulders. “Yeah it is.  Here I done and went and turned things totally upside down for you.  Got rid of people….started new stuff…went back to what I really wanted to do. And you think it means I don’t love you?  You’re such a little idiot! I changed because I love you! Because I knew I needed to be healthy.  To be sane…For you. For us.”

“You’re not all that sane…”  She made a face, trying to hide a grin, even as she felt another tear.  

“I’m my version of sane.” He grinned at her.

“Whatever…”

“Okay. ‘Nough stalling.  Your move Lisa Marie.  What’s it gonna be?”

Her move?  The chess game again.  

Michael turned serious.  He stepped closer and tilted her face up to him. 

“I told you.  You decide. I showed you what we had.  What we have.  But that’s only part of the truth. You think I’m all that together, girl, I ain’t.  I’m a walking wound without you.  I’m ripped open, and with every breath I try to keep everything held in so it don’t hurt so damn much.  I can do it during the days..but the nights…the nights when I wake and you’re not there…You know…”

Oh, she knew. Knew only too well. 

“When I wake and you were just there… With me…inside of me…and then I reach out and there’s just air…”  Lisa finished his thought…her voice a husky whisper.  

“When I feel your lips on me…and then there’s just my own tears.”  Michael reached out and caressed her cheek with his index finger, then ventured to her lips. “Instead of those heavenly lips…”

He knew.  He did know! Reaching up, Lisa captured his hand.  Kissed it.  His eyes widened.

She kissed his hand again and turned it so his palm was open.  Closing her eyes she leaned into it, kissing the open, soft skin. 

Michael moved and once again cradled her face.  She felt so small in his hands.  So fragile.  So secure. 

Lisa raised on her tip toes as he bent down and captured her lips.  A sweet, tender kiss.  Their eyes open this time.  Lisa’s tongue darted out and she traced the flesh of his luscious bottom lip.  Watched his mouth soften like a flower.  Playfully, she placed a kiss, then nipped on his lip, capturing it with her teeth.  As she had done a million times.  Her system ignited.  The tip of the flame had contacted the fuel.  

Their eyes connected through the rising haze.  They reached for each other and greedily came together in that all consuming, open mouthed kiss.  Shared breath.  Shared life.

Lisa felt lightheaded.  Started to feel as if she was soaring.  Their hands became involved and roam between their bodies.  Explore, touch, feel, torture, and soothe.

“Michael…” Lisa broke away before she was sure to pass out.  She needed to hand him something.  Needed to return his gift.

“Yeah…” He panted, his eyes opening, focusing on her.

“I love you.  I love you so damn much…. I never, ever stopped.”

“You love me?”  The husky whisper brought more chills to all corners of her body, mixing with the fire consuming every cell.

“I love you…” another whisper.  Then louder.  “I love you! Oh, shit, I love you!” Laughter bubbled free as she finally heard herself say the forbidden words out loud.  

“Oh shit… You love me!” He picked her up and spun around with her.  Laughing and crying, Lisa held on to him, not ever planning to let him go.  Michael stopped and put her down. “Wait…Does that mean you ain’t leaving?”  Was that a little shit eating grin on his those swollen lips?

Taking a second to steady herself, Lisa stepped back and pulled her shirt off. “Does this look like I’m leaving?”

His eyes widened in surprised.  It sure was nice to still be able to shake him up a bit.

Now there definitely was a shit-eating grin.  Which was sexy as hell. “I hope not.”  

He grabbed the front of her jeans and pulled her into him, his hands moving up her abs and her ribcage toward her bra.  Lisa pulled his head down, biting and kissing his heavenly neck, delighting in the erratic fluttering of his pulse.  Michael got busy opening the clasp of her bra, and she dipped below his shirt again, raising it as her fingers traced the toned body.  He helped shrug off the t-shirt and she looked up at him.  Anticipating and finding the little glimmer of insecurity that always was there when they had not seen each other that way in a while.  

“Someone’s been working out…”  Of course she knew he was still dancing. And she also might have known from Prince that he seriously worked on his marshal arts with his sons.  It showed.  He was toned.  Strong.  Sexy as fuck.  She bend forward and kissed his chest, her fingers finding his nipples.  God…her mouth watered… how she loved his body… His slender, amazing, fine as fuck body he forever felt bad about.

He found his smile through the insecure blush. “Gotta try and keep up with this skinny little woman.We gotta put some meat on your bones baby…not that you’re not the finest thing I’ve ever seen…”   Michael managed to unclasp the bra and set free her aching boobs.  Her turn to feel slightly awkward. She wasn’t twenty anymore.  And had nursed another child.  

Michael lifted both her breasts and reverently kissed first one, then the other…making her shiver.  Damn…okay…guess he was happy.  A glance down to the straining budge in his jeans proved her right.  That couldn’t be comfortable.  She had to do something about that. 

“You’re so beautiful, Lisa…even more so now…then ever before…”  His eyes locked with hers and his tongue darted out, licking first one, then the other constricted peak.  She knew what he was thinking.  Now…now that she had given birth to that eternal bond.  Had nourished her…

Michael latched on to her nipples and she emitted a little yelp.  Liquid lava shot into her panties.  She was so on fire.  And it was so fucking on! He was the only man who had touched her since before they broke up.  The only man she dreamed about. The only man who could make her almost climax just by sucking on her tit.  

Needing to speed things along, Lisa reached for his fly.  Her fingers were clammy and trembled.  Michael very helpfully intervened while switching to her other boob, biting and suckling, making those little noises driving her almost mad.

Lisa reached in and pulled him free. Damn… There he was.  Even bigger than she recalled.  The thick, throbbing length filling her hand.  She licked her lips as her eyes opened.  Her pussy clenched in anticipation.  Damn…it’s been so fucking long. The mere thought of him invading her made her shiver. 

“Oh shit, baby…oh yeah.  God, I missed your hands on me…”  Michael kissed a path back up to her neck, then looked down on her hands as she held him firmly, started to pump him, staring down at him in fascination.  

His breathing increased and became shallow.  Lisa saw him fighting for control and a rush of pure lust mixed with all the love she felt for him brought her to the edge once more. 

“Watch out, baby..it’s been…it’s been…you know… a while…”

Oh, good.  For him too, then? She had wondered about that. Had wondered about that little assistant of his, he suddenly had fired a while back.  She had heard the chick tried to move in.  Had become too aggressive.  When had he let her go? Before or after? Well…no…this was not about anyone else.  Nothing mattered. No one mattered.  Just this moment. And eternity before them.

Lisa leaned forward, kissing Michael’s chest, his nipples, his neck…before finding his mouth again.  Her hand dipped lower and found his tight balls.  Oh yeah.  Someone was loaded alright.

Michael emitted a little sob she greedily swallowed. The kiss became more impatient, harder, hotter.  His hands found her pants and he opened them, hooking his thumbs into the waistband, pulling them down.  Shaking from the almost uncontrollable urge to feel all of him against her naked body, Lisa joined his effort, escaping her jeans, stepping over them as she kicked them and her shoes off.  Thankfully, she had kept things simple after changing out of that dress.

Michael once again broke away from her lips, looking down at her body.  His fingers lightly, and oh so teasingly tracing the top of her panties- little boyshorts, she knew lifted her ass just right.  

“Hm, hm, hm…girl… That fine, fine ass…” His hands came around and he filled his palms, squeezing her globes, his thumbs pulling the light fabric lower while his fingers came closer to her burning center with every movement.  When he teasingly traced her dripping, pouting flesh through the material, she about hit the ceiling. “Michael…oh shit…touch me…please…”

“Oh, I aim to touch you alright…all over…”  

That sexy ass tone.  Pretty soon, she’d be a puddle on the floor…there was no way she could withstand this all out assault on all her sense any longer.

Michael kissed her once more, his fingers still teasing.  He traced a hot path down her neck, lapping at her nipples once more, massaging and squeezing her boobs, then going lower…sinking to his knees.  Weakly, Lisa help on to his shoulders.  “Michael…shit…you’re gonna make me come…”

He looked up at her with that grin. His eyes sparkling.  “Oh, I aim to make you cum alright…over and over…”

Fuck! If his words almost accomplished the deeds she better hoped for that hydration drip later.

Speaking of dripping…

His tongue dipped into her belly button and her panties about blasted off.  Shit.  Her head fell back as she tried to contain the fluttering inside.  

“Baby…I can smell how hot you are..I feel your heat …”

His teeth grabbed the material of her panties and he pulled them down, aided by his hands, which massaged down her legs.  He was obviously aiming to drive her completely mad. 

When he finally touched her, it was the softest caress.  Tracing her swollen, folds.  For some reason, she had just gotten a Brazilian wax.  As she had laid there, being tortured, she had wondered why the fuck she bothered…now she felt oh so justified.  He loved her bare.  It turned him on to watch himself drive into her.  Oh yeah…His eyes found hers.  The focal point in her twisting and swirling universe.  He looked as high as she felt. Flushed, feverish.  

“So smooth…so wet..oh baby…” He spread some of the escaping juices along her slit, then applied pressure, dipping in…causing her to jump and moan. 

“Michael…” she managed to moan his name as not much else was in her mind.  Thinking was so overrated.  All she needed was to trust her senses. To feel him. To see him.  Hear his voice.

“Tell me again…”  He touched her gently, avoiding both the highly sensitive bundle of nerves and her clenching opening… 

“I love you…I love you so damn much…” Lisa moaned.

He smiled, the placed a kiss on her pubic bone. More down her thighs…switching to the other leg. The sensitive flesh of her inner thighs as he slowly travelled higher, his hands again on her ass.

“Michael…please…” she managed to whimper, needing more.  Needing to touch him, to feel him, to have him stretch her pussy that already clenched for him.

“Shhhht…” Michael’s touch on her intensified.  He spread her, then looking straight at her, his tongue licked her in one swift motion, hitting her clit at the very end.  

Lisa’s leg started to shake and she gripped his shoulders harder.  

Michael’s next move surprised her as he picked her up and kissed her mouth again.  Deeply.  His tongue telling the story of upcoming pleasures as he invaded, stroke, claimed.  

Laying her back on the bed, she felt his loss for a second as he stood there, looking down on her.  His eyes roamed over her naked body as if he simply could not believe she was actually there.  For a second she felt vulnerable again, then strangely powerful.  One hand reached for her breast, one dipped lower.  

Michael’e eyes darkened.  “Oh fuck yeah…get that little thing good and ready… Seeing you gave up sex and all, I bet you’re gonna make me work, aren’t cha’ girl?” 

Smiling, Lisa widened her legs, suddenly losing all apprehension.  Her fingers spread her honey. “Let’s see what you can do, Mike… I seem to remember you used to make it fit just fine…”  Her fingers rimmed her opening and she dipped in, delighting in watching his dick jump.

“Shiiiit…girl…you’re gon’ make me lose it if you keep that up.”

Clearly surrendering all interest in his usual penchant to let things sizzle, he pushed his jeans and underwear off, finally.  His cock standing high and proud.  Lisa’s mouth watered as she longed to taste him, to devour him.  Michael reached for himself and kneeled down on the bed.  Sitting up, she tried to reach for him, no longer able to wait.  

Michael allowed her one gliding touch, her hand joining his, before he shook his head and pushed her back.  

“Spread you legs, let me see that pretty bare pussy.  Oh yeah…look at you…so ready…”

Michael reached for her and Lisa lifted up on her elbows, leaning in to receive his kiss, while his hands once again went exploring.  Michael left her mouth, his lips fastening to her breast, biting and sucking again before switching.  Lisa started to moan, feeling her need rise with every caress.  His long fingers found her flesh once more and rubbed her whole length, making her cry out as she bucked up against the heavenly friction.  

“Mike…damn.. I can’t…”  His fingers enter her and her pelvis shot off the bed.  It was almost too much.  Her internal muscles pulled his probing digits in further. 

“Let go… I wanna see you cum for me right now.  Let go, baby…look at me…” His tone soft and coaxing, his fingers stroked her inside as he returned to torturing her nipples.  She felt as if she had been dipped into fire.  Her muscles contracted more.   Lisa took a deep breath.  It was no good. She needed the release. Needed him.  So badly.  

Everything seemed to happen at once as his teeth, his fingers inside, and the his thumb on her clit supplied the fuel to launch her into the first truly fulfilling organs in years.  Screaming his name, she fought for breath as her internal muscles clenches and started an almost painful chain reaction with shockwaves hitting every cell of her body. Michael surrendered her nipple and watched her as her own eyes remained on him, not wanting to miss the expression of pure admiration while he allowed her to ride out this climax.  

“My girl…so beautiful…now come here…Ready? I gotta…gotta get this going before I make a damn fool out of myself.”

Softly kissing her face, he slowed his touch, and finally removed his fingers from her as she tried to make things come back into focus.  As soon as the edge was taken off, Lisa knew she needed more. Needed him.  All of him.  Michael kissed another scorching path down her body, then softly blew on her sex, making her sob once again.  Sitting up on his haunches, he watched her body, his hands never stopping their caresses.  Standing up again, pulled her to the edge of the bed, and Lisa spread her legs, propping her feet on the very edge.  She knew what he needed.  

“Do it…make love to me, Michael…Please…”  

Michael blinked.  His hands went to his cock which looked like it was about to go off.  Lisa’s felt the crazy stirring return when she watched him stroke himself a couple of times.  Michael placed one knee back on the bed as he reached for her, guiding himself to her still buzzing center.  When he placed his dripping head at her heat, they both moaned, and Michael bit his lip, clearly fighting for control.

“Girl…you’re so hot…so wet…damn.  I wanna make this last but I’m not sure…”  

Suddenly, he hesitated.  “Lisa…you want me to get…you know…something?”

“I’m not on the pill or anything…so probably…”

“That’s not what I’m asking…I mean- unless… Of course we should, I mean…be careful. But just to let you know.  I’m also drumming instead of having sex. I meant to tell you earlier…”  That grin got her even hotter.  Damn that man was so fucking sexy.  

Lisa couldn’t help but giggle.  He flinched.  His cock seemed to push into her slightly.  Fuck it.  She didn’t want to wait.  They waited long enough.

“Make love to me.  Now.”  

Kissing her hard one more time, Michael pushed forward and Lisa help her breath as he breached her.  Fuck… So many of her dreams had been about this moment, and now, now she was almost as afraid as the first time they made love.  Not just of his impressive size- because she certainly knew he had skills enough to get her body to accommodate him.  But no… The truly scary part was that she knew there was no return from this.  This was it.  No more games.  The truth was right there in his eyes that evaded her every bit as much as his rock hard steel.  

She moaned and rocked her hips forward, needing him more than she needed to breathe.  

Michael pulled back slightly then pushed forward once more, stretching her, filling her.  God…she felt so full.  Painful, wonderful, amazing sensation.  Looking down, she could tell he had more to give her still.  

“Man…Lise..you weren’t kidding… you’re so fucking tight.  Baby…I don’t wanna hurt you, but I gotta move…” his eyes squeezed shut for a moment and she forced herself to take a deep breath.

“Its’ fine…go for it…I can take it… Move…fuck me, make love to me… I love you so damn much…”

Through his sobbing little sound, she started to see stars as he lifted her by her ass, then pulled back and surged forward.  Lisa screamed and he stilled.   

“You a’ight?” 

Oh fucking hell. She was more than alright.  She was in heaven.  Complete.  Home.  

“Oh god…oh fuck…Mike…move…give it to me…c’mon…it hurst so good… Make me fly, Daddy…”

Kissing her nose, he rose again and started their dance for real.  Their bodies, finally adjusting to where they should have been all along, picked up their rhythm as if they never had a stupidity imposed two plus year break.  The sweet fiction of his body against hers drove her mad, as she locked her legs around him, pulling him closer with every powerful thrust.  Their pants, moans, and sobs filled the room.  Michael leaned forward, grabbing Lisa’s hands, holding them above her head, their fingers intertwined as their eyes locked.  

“Girl…I gotta…I gotta let it go…Imma cum so hard..shit…”

“Oh, yeah….let go, baby….I’m right there with y’a..Holy fuck!”  

He hit home again, his grinding motion hitting her clit and that little spot only he could find at the same time.  Once again everything constricted before Lisa exploded into a million shards of glass and light, slicing her open, draining her of any and all poison she had managed to store in the past years.  Michael surged into her one more time and his cock inflated even more.   She felt his body tightening as his grasp on her hands intensified.  For a second, Lisa recalled they had forgone protection as she felt him release into her over and over.  Oh well… Maybe it was not too late to give Asha a full sibling.  Michael shook against her, exploding in the same nebula of newly created stars her own being was reborn into. 

Their bodies continues to move against each other even when he finally sank into her, their ragged breaths mingling in a mindblowing kiss before his head came to rest in the crook of her neck.  Words of love became kisses on her skin.  Her legs were still wrapped around him, intent on never letting him go.  Each aftershock rippled through their bodies, making it impossible to discern where one person began and the other ended.  

When Michael carefully shifted his weight to the side, Lisa still refused to let him go.  Her leg pulled him close.  

“You’re gonna keep me right there?”  He breathed against her skin and she could tell he was smiling.

“If you think I’m letting you go any time soon, you better think again, buster.  I’m a sex starved, middle aged lady, and you ain’t gettin’ out of this bed before I had my fill.”

Michael giggled, pulling her closer.  “Perfect, then.  Mission accomplished.”

“About that hydration drip…” Lisa kissed his shoulder, her hand running down his torso.  Was this real? Was she really here? With him.  Her muscles confirmed it…yeah…she still held his still half hard penis inside

“It’s on standby order. Wanna get a hit now or after round two…” He stirred and she could tell something else was growing back inside her just nicely.

Her eyebrow shot up.  “For real?”

“Oh, for real, alright.  You got no idea what you put me through these two years.  Plus the pregnancy. When I saw that beautiful body and couldn’t do anything bout it but jack off in the shower.”

Lisa made a face.  “You should do something about that whale fetish… It’s a problem.”

“Well- like I said. You’re too damn skinny woman!”

“Oh yeah, complaints already?”  

“Oh, hell no. Round in all the right places…” his hands massaged the roundness he always had loved.  “But seriously, I worried about you when I saw you on stage.  Don’t get too thin. I guess I gotta take care of you this time, hm?”

Lisa touched his face.  “Oh yea?  How you figure that?”

“Well, first I’m gonna marry you.  And then…”

“Wait, what? How ‘bout you gimme a moment here. How ‘bout we date first…”

Michael shifted his weight and brought her under him fully, holding her wrists above her head again.  His cock obviously was ready for some dating now…  “How ‘bout not?  Dating my ass. We dated.  From …let’s see.  From after our stupid divorce to…well, when we made Wiggles and beyond.  We dated through several marriages that didn’t involve you and me being the ones married.  Enough dating. No more foreplay.”  He moved his hips seductively, making her moan as it once again became difficult to concentrate.  Michael was not playing fair. And she loved it! Still..weren’t they moving slightly fast?  

“Michael…before today…we didn’t even speak…”  Speaking was becoming difficult now, as he started to nibble on her flesh again, capturing a nipple between his teeth, driving into her with renewed energy.

“We’re speaking now just fine.  So…” another thrust pushing her higher on the mattress. “Speaking and dating are checked…”

“Michael…oh, baby….fuck…” Lisa wiggled her hips, raising them to meet his increasing movements.  “Well …if that….if that’s your position…” She grinned up at him, tightening her muscles, making him flinch.

“Actually…that’s a position.  But you know what?  For what I wanna do tonight…” He withdrew and Lisa made a protesting sound.

Michael grinned and kissed her, then pulled her up so she came to face him on her knees.  “For what I need from you today, I think we wanna go and explore some positions that give me a little more leverage.”

“Like…”  They kissed in a hot, openmouthed kiss as Lisa reached for his wet, straining dick.

Michael, still kissing her, moved her to come onto all fours, then smacked her ass, making her yelp.  

“Like so…” Spreading her open, he surged forward and transported them once again into heaven, making Lisa forget all silly notions of dating. 

Several hours later, Lisa woke.  She tried to move, but her body wouldn’t quite obey.  She knew the last time she had opened her eyes she had been spread out across his chest, had planned to move to give him some space, only to be pulled against him and then drifted off again.  Warm. Safe.  Sheltered.  Not riddled with nightmares for the first time in forever.  

Because he was here.  Michael was here.  

Her hand reached out, and for a moment she panicked when all she found was an absence of the man whose scent was still so clearly all around her.  Blinking, she tried to locate some sign of  what time it was.  Sitting up, she groaned.  Man.  She felt dehydrated.  Sore.  And oh, so satisfied.  

Lisa spotted something on the pillow beside her.  A sticky note.  No…two notes.  One had a sunflower drawn on it with a heart around.  The other one read: “Be right back. Don’t move. If you can… :) “  

Shithead.

Oh the things he had made her feel this night.  The things she had promised.  Wait… Did she actually say she’d marry him?  Surely he couldn’t hold her to that.  She had been drugged.  Drugged by Magic Jackson Penis.  No, actually, more so by those words.  

I love you.

Said over and over and over.  Written into her memory.  Her heart. And as she glanced down on herself, also in the little marks all over her body.  That man didn’t play.  

Lisa found herself grinning like an idiot.  

A phone rang.  Oh- her phone.

She looked at the caller ID and rolled her eyes.  Of course, the little co-conspirator was checking in. “What? What you want?”  Lisa tried her best to sound irritated. 

“Damn! You sound rough! You sick or something?”  Alecia inquired carefully.

As if she didn’t know! Her best friend, who no doubt had helped out in some big way.  Lisa could not decide if she should be mad or be the most grateful she had ever been to anyone.  Probably the latter.

“As if you don’t know.  When did you tell Mike about that little trick you pulled on Carey to get him back?  You know..when you gave him that album of you life…with that ‘the rest is still unwritten thing’ at the end…”

“Ahhh…I’m sure I got no clue what you’re talking about. But if someone ripped off my creative idea I’m gonna have to go and sue someone. So…what did you get? Other than a sore voice?  From…singing?  And it’s ‘Mike’ now? Nice switch!”

“I hear you laughing, you know?”

“I ain’t laughing at you! I’m happy! I hope.  I mean. If you’re happy, I’m happy. And I bet you’re VERY happy right now. So, dish! How happy are you?”

“No- you don’t deserve no dishing, Missy. You went behind my back and you helped him.  Don’t think I didn’t figure all this out, Lish!”

“Yeah? So?  You can thank me later.  When you can walk again. I bet you can’t walk now, girl friend…” Alecia giggled in her dirty, adorable way.

Lisa tried to move and groaned.  “I’ll tell you later…after I try it. Dude…I’m getting old…”

“Lisa, seriously, though. I didn’t mean to go behind your back.  I just… I just know, okay.  I know how we can waste precious time.  And you were so…so miserable.  It hurt to watch it.  And you had your head stuck up your ass so far I thought I needed to try and help pull it out. That’s all.  I’m sorry if you’re mad.  For real. But I’d do it again just to see that smile on your face again.”

Lisa sank back into the pillows.  Relaxing.  Time to let Lish off the hook. “Well…I’m smiling now, that’s for sure.”

“So. No flying to Memphis?”

Oh yeah…they had discussed that.  Somewhere between round four and five.  Or was it five and six?  

“Well…no, I think I promised we’d fly to Memphis later.  After, after we go look at some place he said he wanted me to see upstate somewhere. I think I promised a whole bunch of shit last night… I’m in such deep trouble, I think.  In a fucking good way.  And I love it. I love him.  You know that? I love him! Thanks, Alecia.”

“Oh shit…what did I do? I think you done lost your mind.”

Lisa laughed.  “I might have…oh shit…and I’m loving this feeling. So damn much!”

The door opened and Lisa scooted up in the bed, pulling the cover up as she spotted a very little person peeking in.  

“Mommy!” the little person squealed in clear, unadulterated delight, darting for the bed.

“Daddy- Mommy here! In Daddy’s bed!”  

“Oh-oh- sounds as if someone found her parents in a compromising position,” Alecia laughed.

“Seems like it.  Gotta go. Love you, Lish. And…thanks again!”

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t! Love you!”

“Love you, too- and thanks again.” 

Lisa laughed, put down the phone, and helped Asha climb on the bed.  “Hi baby. Good morning.”

Asha looked at Lisa, still laughing.  “Mommy! You silly! That Daddy’s bed!”  Lisa pulled her close and kissed the little worm.  Someone obviously already had her bath, smelling all clean and wonderful. 

“Wiggles, come here! What did I tell you?” Lisa looked up, hearing Michael from the other room.  What was he up to now?  She couldn’t help but smile like an idiot again.  

“Oh…” Asha turned serious and scampered back down the bed, racing toward the door.

“Hey! Where are you going Miss Asha?”

The little girl stopped and looked at her mother seriously.  “Asha help Daddy.  It’s ‘portant.”  

Oh, well, if it was important.

Lisa sat up, arranging the sheet once more, brushing back her no doubt totally fucked up hair.  Hopefully, two year olds don’t remember seeing their mothers with a certain glow and put it all together later as adults.  

Asha came back into the room, holding a sunflower out to her mother proudly. Michael came in behind her, looking the most amazing Lisa had ever seen him.  Wearing pjs and a white shirt.  Barefoot.  Carrying a breakfast tray.

“Morning, gorgeous lady! Hungry?  Asha…go on…tell Mommy.” 

“Here Mommy. It’s from Daddy.  Daddy say…” She looked over at her father for approval and he nodded.  “Daddy say he … he love you!”  Asha deposited the flower on the bed, then climbed back up, looking very proud of herself.  

“Daddy said he loves you” Michael corrected with a smile. 

Lisa kissed her baby girl, pulling her close, looking over at Michael with tears in her eyes.  Was this really happening?  

“I tried to make her sing You are My Sunshine with me for you, but someone kept messing up and we were running out of time.”  

Asha looked over at him. “No! Asha can do it. Can do it Daddy! You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…you make me happy…” she started to belt out. 

Michael started to sing, helping her out.  Putting Lisa seriously close to breaking down like a crybaby before they were done with the serenade.

Taking a breath, wiping her eyes, trying to hide her tears from Asha, Lisa clapped.  “Good job, Asha!”  

“Daddy, too!”  

“Yeah, good job, Daddy, too.”  Lisa eyed Michael who also looked a bit emotional.  He put the tray down, and sat down on the bed.  Kissing first his daughter, then leaning in to kiss Lisa.

“Michael…don’t ..we don’t wanna…confuse her.”

“No, let’s get her used to this.  You like this don’t you, Wiggles.  See? Mommy and Daddy are right here.  That’s okay, right?”

“Yup. That’s ‘kay, Daddy. We go play now?”  

Obviously their child adjusted quickly.  Lisa had to smile.  This was so bizarre. This little person had never seen them together for more than mere moments, and yet it seemed to be the most natural thing in the world to her.  

Michael took Asha to see her nanny, promising her they’d all go an adventure once Prince, Paris, and Blanket would arrive.  

When he returned, Lisa had managed to wash her face and wrap herself in one of the amazing robes hanging in the bathroom.  

He stopped, staring at her. “What’s wrong now?  You look…as if something is wrong.”

Not wrong…just…scary.  

“Michael. This is all…so unreal. I mean.  Asha.  With us.  As if she always had that.  The other kids coming.What will they say? I’m sure they won’t adjust as quickly. And then…then there are the twins. And Ri and Ben.  Mother… Oh shit… I mean…it all sounded so perfect last night. But now…now reality is about to hit us square in the face.  And that’s…”  she could not bring herself to finish the thought.  Lisa dropped her head.  Suddenly, it all felt so overwhelming.

Michael stepped up and took her hand. “It’s fine.  Go ahead, say it: That’s where we fail. Say it.  I know that’s what you’re thinking. But you’re wrong.  Where you’re right is that Asha knows. She knows we love each other.  She knows we love her.  That’s all that’s important. She feels what’s right.  Go with that.  Go with instinct. Fear is just …just a mirage.  As far as the kids…The kids love you.  They know you are in our lives.  Paris even asked when I will work things out with you.  I mean…that shocked me…but it seems they all know the score.  That their old man is crazy in love with Miss Lisa.  Simple, right?   Your mother.  Well…how do you think I got some of that footage I used?  Don’t tell on her, though.  She loves to pretend she is still not swayed by my overwhelming charms.”

Oh, he was overwhelming alright.

Lisa looked down.  Then up and into his eyes.  That’s when she knew.  She finally saw the truth.  Michael.  Right here.  Alive.  In her life.  Wanting her with him.  They had wasted all that time.  Years.  But as he said in his video: There is no ending as long as there is love.  And that had always been there. Through the pain, the confusion, the hurt…there was always love.  That was something.  It was everything. It was enough to build her whole future on. 

A future right there before her eyes if she was brave enough to reach for it.  To hold it. To never let go.

The past was the past.  It could inform the present and the future- but it could not hurt them. They both had fucked up. But never more so than when they came up with idiotic plans to protect themselves.  Like when she had tried to reduce what they had to some nighttime fuck activity.  Or when he had walked out.  She needed to let go.  Suddenly, all that iron weight she always felt lifted up like balloons- coming to float high above her.  And she was ready to let go.  Let it all float off into the universe.  Feel lighter.  Feel free.  Feel ready.  Ready for the rest of her life.  Ready for the man she was born to be with.  

“Lisa?”  He touched her face gently.

Lisa captured his hand.  

“Let’s do this thing.  It’s a grand adventure right? You ready, Jackson? Cause I ain’t ever letting you go again.”

“That’s a long time, Presley. Sure you can handle it?”

“As long as I have crazy ass you, I think I can take it on.”

Michael took her hand and kissed it.  Then did what he always did…and for once, she didn’t care one damn bit, snuggling closer as his voice filled her heart.

And baby through the years, even when we’re old and gray…I will love you more each day. “Cause you will always be the lady in my life…

(...stay tuned for the epilogue to wrap things up) 

©2015 Erika B Michaels. All Rights Reserved. This story is a work of fiction. Any names, places, and other identifying features are used in a fictional manner, for entertainment purposes only, and are in no way representative of actual events. This work may not be reproduced, copied, transmitted, or stored without expressed written permission by Erika B Michaels. All photos and images, mentioned songs or song titles are copyright their creators. ABSOLUTELY no disrespect is intended to any persons portrayed in this work.