The Difference-Chapter 23

23



The chill spread from her body to her heart and held her paralyzed with strange, intangible shackles of dread and fear.  Automatically, she reached out to touch Michael, knowing all she needed to do was to snuggle up to his comforting warmth. Her arm hit the empty space, and her eyes ripped open. 

He was gone.

That’s right. 

She forgot.  For one second she actually had managed to forget.  Well, the Valium she had taken just to be able to get some sleep might have helped.  But now it was all back.  Lisa sat up straight and hugged her knees tightly to her.  Loneliness engulfed her and threatened to swallow her into the dark acidic pit; eating her, obliterating her…

Do you have to be such a stupid little ninny?  He is not gone for good. 

No, not this time. This time it was only temporary.  Taking in a deep breath, she forced her rational thoughts to beat down her overactive emotions.  Obviously, she was so accustomed to having some horrible catastrophe befall them that a regular separation seemed like the end of the world.  Well, really, if she added it all up, all the years they had been together were laden with separations interspersed with tiny happy islands of togetherness.  She had fought like a lioness against this tendency during their marriage.  While he had just as stubbornly fought back, explaining over and over that his art and his craft made it necessary for him to be absent frequently.  If only the physical absence was the worst of it.  But no- Michael was gone in a different sense very often. 

Being the little idiot she was back then, she thought she would be able to make him change by forcing his hand and taking off on her own little trips. Most notable her get-away with Danny and the kids.  Well, the joke was on her as Michael took retaliation to a whole different level when he in turn disappeared for what had seemed like forever.  God, what a nightmare the constant battle to be with him had been.  Still, it had beaten the even greater nightmare of being separated.

Well, maybe this farewell was the beginning of the end of her loneliness.  Everything was worked out; everything was scheduled.  Plans had been made and set in cement.  She would wrap up some business this week, then join him in Bahrain.  After two weeks, she was set to fly home for a week to spend time with the children, then head back.  In the meantime, he would help her select schools for Ben and Riley or find qualified tutors whom she would interview when back.  Danny finally had relented as well, after Lisa promised to have him flown out and have the kids flown back frequently.  And they probably also needed to get a full time shrink to help Paris adjust to having her around.  Small obstacles- no serious barriers to being back with Michael.  Which was what she wanted with all her heart: to finally be re-united.  To end uncertainty. To have this perpetual Damocles sword hanging over her head removed.

Lisa rocked back and forth gently, still attempting to control the sudden premonition of doom. 

You’re just not used to being happy, face it. 

Sad, but probably true.  Of course her mother had a different interpretation.

“So, you’re bound and determined to set yourself up for another fall.  Great.  I guess you want me to shut up and watch you jump, right?”

“No,I want you to be happy that I finally might get what I have always wanted.”

“Perpetual misery and another divorce.  If, as you tend to do, you will jump into yet another marriage with that man.”

“I love you, too, mother.  Why don’t you shut up and fuck with someone else for a change?”

“You know what, Lisa, you are right.  Why bother.  You are a hopeless cause.  And just when I thought you would finally find some peace, you let yourself be played again and maneuver yourself into a position to self-destruct. I give up.”

Where had she hidden her cigarettes?  Sitting here, trying to calm down was not working.  Not when her mother’s venomous words bubbled to the surface of her frazzled mind.  Well, if Lisa had learned one thing it was to stop trying to please everyone.  Her mother would never be pleased.  Lisa would never rise to whatever image of a daughter Priscilla has so selfishly crafted in her mind.  No, this time, it was about her.  Her life, her love, her happiness.  Her and Michael.

The miracle had happened and the greatest barrier had been surmounted.  The mountain of fear, distrust, pain, crushed hopes, and self-doubt he had erected had somehow shifted and allowed her some wiggle room.  Something had changed that afternoon at Neverland, and a glow had once again settled in his eyes.  Strangely enough, she initially had thought the old spark was back, but then started to understand it was a whole new fire that illuminated him from the inside. 

“How can I ever thank you for not giving up, girl?  I was so ready to just write off my life.  I had resigned to exist as the best father I could be, and that’s that.  Then your little stubborn self once again showed me that love is almost impossible to kill.  Even when it is me who tries to stomp out that resilient glimmer.”

“Well, you can love me.  And love me. And love me some more.  That might be a good way to repay me.  And let me tell you, you put up one hell of a fight.  But you just have no idea how much I love you.  You need to totally stop underestimating that.”

He had smiled and pulled her closer.

“Guess, I do, don’t I?”

Even Michael’s demands had become more reasonable.  He worked hard to move away from the “all or nothing” attitude.  He allowed that it would take them a while to establish the exact playbook for their future.  Still, he had provided the overall canvas and the background to the masterpiece their lives could be by accepting her love and allowing himself to love her in return.  The exact details were to be filled in as a shared project that would hopefully last the rest of their natural lives.

After he had talked about the raids at Neverland, understanding about the need to leave the country for a while had solidified.  This was not something he could just snap out of or overcome easily.  This was so much worse than before.  Worse even than the damned strip search.  Bouncing back from one trauma had been difficult.  Rebounding a second time seemed almost impossible.  Especially, since he was alone.

Where she had held him in her arms during those dark winter hours in 1993, holding him, kissing him, sheltering him, even as her own heart was breaking at the pain in his words and his eyes, the second time she had dealt with the agony by withdrawing and pretending that he would be ok.  Well- she had been a coward and had committed the gravest sin: she had believed her own ridiculous lies to make herself feel better.  If he had abandoned her in this way, she was not sure she could find it in her soul to forgive.  Thankfully, Michael once again proved that he was not like other men.  The resolve to spend the rest of her life making it up to him was firm and unshakable.

Thinking back to that dark time sent Lisa on a desperate search for her cigarettes, which she finally found in a stash in her closet.  Well, one could only take so much change at once.

She made it to the backyard and sat under the stars on the stairs of her patio.  Inhaling, her eyes found the sparkling canvas above.  She exhaled, playfully blowing a smoke circle toward the stars.  Suddenly, he seemed not so far away.  After all, they shared the same sky.  He was alive and better than he had been in years.  Somehow he had allowed hope to fill his heart once more.  He was right here, right there in her heart, making it beat, filling her with glowing warmth.

Michael had spent last night with her, despite having three antsy children at home and probably a million plans buzzing in his mind.  They made love as if their lives depended on it.  He seemed to not get enough of her, kissing, touching, exploring, worshiping every inch of her. Lisa had been equally insatiable and at one point had simply not believed she would be able to survive another orgasm.  Well, Michael was not giving in and was not declaring the physical expression of their love to be completed until he felt he had accomplished his goal of leaving her totally boneless and breathless.  As always Michael got what Michael wanted.

Lisa had fallen into an exhausted sleep, just as the first rays of sunlight stole through the curtains. When she woke up, his eyes were on her, his fingers tracing her silhouette.

“Did you sleep?”

“Sleep? No, why would I?”

“That’s what us humans do, Michael.  Try it.” She pulled him down to her and kissed him.

“Well, why in the world would I waste time sleeping when I have to make sure I have every single cell of your body memorized?”

“I won’t leave you alone long enough to forget, don’t worry.”

“Any time without you seems too long these days.  You got me hooked good again.”

“Alright then!”

Good! Mission accomplished.  But since she was equally attached to him it all worked out perfectly.

Another kiss.  Another stolen second.  Another chance to taste him, feel him, inhale him.

“Are you sure you can’t just hop on the plane with me? I’m sure Danny would take care of the kids.”

“Baby, I would love to. You gotta believe that.  But I have to get some stuff done.  You know I am canceling my last shows I had set up.  I might discuss doing them when I get back.”

“I told you I can hook you up with some folks and we can get you gigs in Europe.  It’s just a skip and a hop over there.”

“I know you said that. But I want to do this on my terms and in my way.  I don’t want people to say I’m using you.”

He laughed in that bitter way that these days was actually getting rare.  As far as she cared, that old bitterness could die out and she would not miss it.

“Lise- if anything, when word gets out we are seeing each other again, I will once again be accused of using you…”

His head turned away from her and he hid those marvelous gems of his eyes.  Was he crying again? Oh, no, she would not allow for pain to once again fill him and evict the love she so laboriously had fought to move in.  Lisa reached out and touched his cheek, tenderly turning his face back toward her.

“Don’t.  Don’t hide.  I’m here. You can share whatever it is. – Use me for what? “

“Use you to seem… normal."

Her laughter sliced the heavy atmosphere in the room like a saber carving through a dark curtain.

“Man, you do have issues if you need my crazy ass to seem normal.”

Blinking, his eyes closed for a second, his eye-lashes chasing away the last tear. When he looked back at her, the hint of a humorous sparkle was back.

“True.  So what do y’a say we go totally crazy together?”

“Hey- you know me.  The crazier the better.”

Michael pulled her close and squeezed her so hard she thought she would pass out.  And to tell the truth, she happily would have given every last breath if it meant it would sustain his life.

Despite her resolve to be strong and confident, she had not been able to stop the tears when they walked to the door hand in hand, their fingers intertwined.  She was not sure at all she would be able to let go of him.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna come to the airport?”

“No, babe.  You know me. I hate good-byes. Even short ones.  I suck at them. And I hate crying.  If fucks up my make-up.”

And the tears would be like acid rain, eroding the bleeding surface if her heart.

“As long as you have your priorities straight.” He winked at her.

“That I do.  I know it’s just a short little farewell.  I will be over there before you know it, bossing you around.”

“Hey, watch out.  I already have one little woman being bossy.”

“Yeah- poor baby. Btu you know what? I think this is perfect.  The small little trip gives you a chance to prove to her that she always will be number one in your book.  I know she is putting up a brave front, but she is so afraid to lose your love.”

“Well, she never will. I have so much love in me again. And it’s all thanks to you.”

“She’ll come around, Michael.  But we gotta give her a breather.”

Finally and horribly, his car inched out of her driveway.  The kiss he bestowed on her was still making her lips tingle.  The feel of his hands was still contained on her skin.  Lisa felt pain and noticed her hands were clenched, her nails digging into her palms. An unconscious effort to distract from the pain of her heart and soul ripping away from her, flying after him. How many weeks ago had she just blindly thrown herself in front of him to stop him.  Maybe if she did that now…

No, she needed to act rationally for once.  He was not running from her.  He was hurrying toward their future.  From now on, every moment was a second closer to being reunited.  If only the pain would stop rotating that knife in her heart.  Suddenly Lisa felt two arms hugging her from behind. A sleepy Riley had come up behind her, holding her mother, knowing exactly how to stem the bleeding with the bandage of her love.

“It’s ok, Mommy.  You’ll see him soon.”

Lisa nodded bravely.  The contained tears burning her throat before they escaped despite her best efforts.

“I know…” She squeaked out.

“You did it, Mom.  You got him back. I can feel it. This time it’ll happen.  My money is on wedding bells in the near future.”

Hopefully, her wise daughter would be proven correct.  All she had to do to keep herself in a state that resembled life was to make it from phone call to phone call.  Kind of like jumping on Lilly pads across of pond of acid. Amazingly, Michael seemed to feel the same.  He called her from the road to Havenhurst, from the car to the airport, then again from the plane before he had to turn off his phone.

“Are you trying to get me to be sick of your voice?” She joked as she held the phone so tightly her fingers hurt.

“Is it working?”

“Fat chance, buster.”

“Cool then.”

Finally, his children, mainly Paris, had managed to capture his full attention and he hung up before promising to call her after he landed.  The day crept by only to be taken over by a horrendously lonely evening.  Gosh, how long ago was it she had wished for her bed to be empty?  Weeks?  The torturous nights with Lockwood were a distant, inconsequential memory.

It seemed like another lifetime. Despite his continued efforts to contact her. Finally, she had blocked his number.

Lisa looked down at the cigarette and put it out on the patio.  The new life had to include getting rid of old habits that she knew Michael hated.  She would prove to him that she could do this.  If he was big enough to trust her again and to include her in his life, she could get rid of nasty, stinking vices.  How easy to abandon the small habits when she was allowed to keep the one addiction she planned in indulging in for the rest if her life: her love for Michael.

Barely back in her room her cellphone rang and she automatically darted for it.  Of course it was highly unlikely he would call again so soon.  He was in mid-flight.  Still, her heart was beating in her throat when she answered the unknown number, taking a chance that someone would try to sell her a costumer protection plan.  Well, little did the potential telemarketer know that he might need to have some very good life insurance in place ‘cause she was likely to rip him a new one through the phone in her semi-psychotic state.

“Hello?” She was breathless.  “Hello?- Anyone there?”

Static.  Damn- probably a robo-call.

Quick- hang up.  It’s nothing.

Some form of paralysis engulfed her which rendered her motionless, even as her fingers grabbed the torture devise harder, trying to regulate her breathing.

“OK, motherfucker. Don’t you think it’s beyond harassment to call people in the middle of the night to sell them shit?”

“Well, fine, I keep what I have to give then.”

Oh shit!

Good thing she missed the off button with her clammy, shaking fingers.

His voice chased the paralysis away quite effectively and a huge grin spread on her face, as she fell back onto the bed.

“How are you calling?  Aren’t you in midair?  You gonna make your plane crash and I will kick your ass for dying on me.”

“You are one foulmouthed mean little woman, Miss Presley. Heaven knows why I love you like crazy.”

How much broader could her stupid smile get?  She felt like such an idiot.  A crazy, in love idiot.

“Cause you’d be bored with some saintly little broad.  You love me, hm? Well, good then.  Cause I love you more than you know and probably more than you deserve.”

He laughed. “Probably. Hey, miss me yet?”

“Oh, are you gone?”

She could just imagine the goofy grin on his face now.  Yeah, he was no fool. And he had always been well aware of his power over her. 

“Couldn’t sleep, hm?”

“Whaddaya mean? I was out like a light.”

“You suck at lying.”

“I suck at being without you.”

“Want me to turn the plane around and get you?”

“Would you?  I’ll make it worth your while.”

“No doubt you would.  Lisa, how will I sleep without you?  If I get worn out and tired and psychotic, it will be your fault for not being here, you know that right?”

“That plane turned around yet?”

“I’m on my way into the cockpit now.”

Lisa laughed, shaking her head.

“Crazy ass.”

“You know you want my crazy ass right there with you.”

“Oh, the things I would do to that ass, and all those other parts I adore and worship.”

“Shht! You better stop it.  I am here in a plane full of children. I gotta behave.”

“Well, I am here in a lonely bed that has seen more sex in the last weeks than in a long time- and it’s getting bored.”

“Poor bed.”

“Yeah, and poor me!”

“Save all that loving up for me, baby-girl.  I can’t wait till I get you to cry out for me again. Till you grab me and squeeze me, pulsing all around me, making me feel alive…” His breath was quickening and his voice was a deep, dark, hoarse whisper.

The timbre reached through the space separating them and touched her deep inside, making her regret she ever let him step a foot on that plane without her.  What was he doing to her? And how could she survive those couple of days without him?

“I thought you’re on a plane full of children?  Is it wise to get me hot and bothered?”

“Are you? Hot and bothered? Are you wet for me, baby?  Do you wish you….  What? Oh, sure, I’ll be right there.- Hold on, ok, baby?”

Dammit! Of course someone was demanding his attention.  It always happened.  Old resentments surfacing through the swamp of rotten memories, reaching out with cold, decomposing fingers, trying to grab her.

No. This was different.  He was there with his kids.  His family.  Possibly soon her family.  It was ok. 

She could hear him talking to someone.  The voice sounded familiar.  Was that?  No, it couldn’t be.  He had told her she wasn’t working for him anymore.

“Grace- please tell Paris I will be right there.  It’s normal that her ears hurt a bit.  Give her some more gum for now.”

Lisa could tell he had held his hand over the receiver- and yet she was sure she’d heard correctly.

“Sorry, baby.  Paris obviously heard I am talking to you and her ears hurt.  She really needs to learn to cut this out and…”

“Michael, is Grace with you?”

A pause.  A very pregnant pause.  As in nine and a half months pregnant.

“Uhm….yeah.  Look, I meant to tell you, it’s just…ah…”

He was so full of shit! Was this the new beginning?  Had they not discussed who needed to be kept outside? What the fuck! He would never change. 

Lisa bit her lip, trying to calm down.

He has not even answered.  Let him explain.  There has to be an explanation.  Right?

“Ok, Michael. I’m listening. It’s just that, what?”

Her voice was deceptively calm.  It was so difficult not to yell her head off. 

“Look, Paris was upset.  She has been very clingy and crying a lot.  She said she feared that I would love you more than her.  We talked about it and she also said she felt that she was leaving everything and it was not fair.  And she was right.  It’s not fair.  I can’t stay, but I know it’s not fair to the kids. So, when she asked if Grace could come along last minute, I didn’t have the heart to tell her no.”

So, that bitch had gotten to Paris who was in a very vulnerable state.  Well, Grace better keep her resume current because her days leeching onto Michael and his family were numbered.   But no, she would not play into the bitches hands and pitch a fit.  She was different. 

Taking in gulps of air, Lisa blinked twice, attempting to convince herself of her new, calmer, more serene disposition. 

“Ok…”

Well, not the most articulate answer, but it beat the stream of curse words running like a news banner through her mind.

“Ok?  All you’re gonna say is ok? Are you alright?”

No, I wanna wring the crow’s head- and I will if she touches you…  Her game is over.

“Sure.  I’m fine. I guess I understand.  I’m just surprised.”

“Look, Lise. This is temporary.  She knows that.  I told her it’s only to let Paris settles in and till you get there.”

“You told her about you and me?”

“Yeah. It’s not a secret.  I told her you’re about to join us. And that we’re together.  See? It’s all out in the open.”

Oh, what Lisa wouldn’t have paid to see Grace convulse at the news.  It was no surprise that the only thing Grace had ever wanted was to use the children to satisfy her sick obsession with Michael.  Well, she’d had her chance.  And now the window of opportunity had just been boared up- no, make that walled up.  Done- expired. She was like a box of curled milk, left too long on the shelf.

“Ok, well, fine then.  I guess it’s a good idea to help the kids by having the nanny they know around.  Until you find someone new.”

“Did aliens abduct you?  No cursing? No tirades? No jealous fits?”

Nope. She was a new woman. The fantasies of kicking Grace’s ass would have to do for now.

“Do I have anything to be jealous about?”

“Regarding Grace?  Get serious.  There’s only one woman for me- and she has messed me up for anyone else.  Forever.”

“Ok, then.  So the topic is closed for me.”

For now.

They stayed on the phone for a while longer before Paris demanded his attention and Lisa told him to tend to his little girl.  It was hard as hell to hear him say good bye-but the tears she stubbornly blinked away were a reminder that soon she’d cry tears of joy seeing him again.

Surprisingly, she slept that night, dreaming of Michael holding her, gazing into her eyes, telling her how much he loved her and wanted to share his life with her.  Words she knew she’d hear over and over for the rest of her life.  Yet they were also the words she would never hear enough. He’d have to work hard to keep that reservoir filled.  It had been so painfully empty for such a long time!

Getting ready for her day, Lisa noticed some odd abdominal pains, just bothersome enough to make her take some ibuprofen. Her back also felt strained- probably her body telling her that she was not 20 anymore and that crazy all freaky lovemaking sessions against the wall, in the shower, and bent over her desk would leave some marks an soreness. A small price she was more than willing to pay. Also, her period should start any day. A thought she was not able to capture started to manifest, but before she could fully form it, Riley distracted her with stories of the newest drama in her teenage world. Lisa listened to her daughter, glad the pain medication was kicking in as she made a mental list of her appointments for the day.

Lisa’s new plans required her to cancel a number of public appearances and part of her tour.  Michael had offered to help her navigate the possible legal jungle.  Tom, despite being a trial lawyer, had agreed to help out and had attorneys at his firm look over some paperwork and make sure some crazy people feeling they lost out on their part of the pie did not come after her later. She would meet with the lawyers this morning, followed by a lunch with Alecia.

Driving into town, she listened to her phone messages. One was a call from her mother's number, but to her surprise was from Lockwood. Dammit! Now she had to add a call to Priscilla to her to-do list, warning her to butt out of her life or risk being sidelined.

"Lisa, I'm calling from your Mom's phone, please listen before you erase the message."

Good to know there was a brain there somewhere under that egghead. Yeah, he knew her well. Really, she should erase it, but it might be fun to hear him twist like the worm he was.

"Don't be mad. I feel I want to check in to see if you had a chance to think about things. I know you feel you made the right choice, but I'm telling you, your mother and I are very worried."

Her mother and he? This was getting too preposterous.  She hit the delete button. Too bad that only worked for messages and not for superfluous people in your life. A golden opportunity for inventors. There could be a colony of annoying twits somewhere in the country- LA was a perfect venue. It was already a breeding ground for people who sucked up precious air uselessly. Lisa was becoming so sick and tired of the fake plastic culture. And thanks to Michael she soon would be free.  Or almost free.

True freedom would include being unshackled from the dragons in the castle on the hill- the ones still sucking up her money. What power did they really have? Well, for now, it was best to keep them well sated and sluggish. But with Michael's help and protection there possibly was a light at the end of the tunnel. As long as the kids were safe. Michael surely had to be outside their reach now.

The next message was from the man himself, calling from the plane phone again. He informed her they had landed safely. He also left his new numbers- one for the new phone he intended to use there and one for the house he had rented. Shoot- she needed to write them down as soon as she got back to the house. He promised to call her later. Lisa caught herself wanting to kiss the phone. She laughed- she was such a mess!

The next call, from yet another private number she did not recognize, almost made her run off the road. At first she did not recognize the woman's voice, and then, her head instantly started to pound.

"Miss Presley- Lisa-Marie, this is Julia. Michael's friend."

How in the world had the little bitch gotten her number? How dare she contact her. What the hell?

"I've been going back and forth about whether to call you. I know I'm probably the last person you expect or want to hear from, but there are some things I would like to express to you."

No really, Mike’s friend should have gone with her instincts and not bother her. How in the world had she gotten her number?

"I basically had to coerce some connection we share to give me your number, and I'm not going to go into details. I really don't want to bring your anger down on anyone."

Ok, who the hell was the traitor? Brett? Tom? If she still worked at Tom's firm, would she have gone as far as to get the number that way? But why?

Michael was the other obvious connection, but surely he would never give his friend, the convenience mattress, Lisa's number. 

"So, anyway. I heard that you and Michael are making a go at it. It was no surprise, really. I had sensed when we were together that he was still hung up on someone."

A red veil of anger descended. When they were "together?" How classy of Juliette to remind her that Michael had fucked her. And that's all it had been. A warm body to release stress. Hopefully, he'd try yoga next time he'd get his nerves in knots. Only, there would be no need for a next time.

"I guess I did some research and read about some of the things you said in the recent past. Quite public things. Ugly, hurtful statements. I personally don't get how he would ever forgive you, but I guess love makes blind. Or whatever it is he thinks he feels for you."

Oh, this was starting to be funny. So, the oh so classy Julia was showing her claws. Another victim of Michael's charms. And his secret weapon. Bitch! Every time she thought about them sleeping together she got sick.

You better have nice dreams of what you had- cause you ain't getting it again. Ever. Better start investing in a good dildo- cause no man will ever do again.

It was incomprehensible why she was still listening to the message. But some perverted curiosity told her to not delete it. Plus, it might be handy to have this evidence of the supposed noble lady's behavior on the record.

"So it's like this: as I told him, I'm happy for him. It looks like his dreams are coming true. Just don't turn them into a nightmare. He's been through so much. I know he's putting on a brave front, but he is still vulnerable."

Now she was explaining Michael to her- the woman who has shared so many ups and downs with him they could fill seven planets with roller coasters? Guess she was not very thorough in her so called research.

"So, I'm bowing out. I never fought you on this- I sensed he wasn't ready. But if you hurt him, if you break his heart- I will go after him full-force. And he won't even remember your name. That's all I had to say. I don't mean to make you mad or annoy you. I just want you to be aware that he has option. Have a good day. And give Michael my love if you talk to him before I do."

Lisa had to pull over, feeling dizzy from the pounding headache. What the hell was this bitches problem?

She'd go after him? Like she was the first person to ever try? What the fuck? Good luck!

She's bowing out? She was dumped after being used as a penis warmer.

Unbelievable.

And all the while Michael thought she was all that. Well, the broad showed her true colors and revealed she was as human as the rest of them.  The shiny exterior obviously hid a corroded core.

As Lisa was sitting there, telling herself to breathe, the pain in her back and abdomen returned. This time it was sharper. Too weird. Must be time for one of those more odd and painful periods. Actually, come to think of it, it was time for her period, period. She smiled at the little joke. No, seriously, it should have happened- what, a couple of weeks ago? Odd. Damn stress. That, plus she was not on the pill right now due to horrible headaches, so she was not really regular.

In another lifetime she would have started to wonder if there could be another reason to be late, but she was pretty sure she was not able to conceive for some reason. Funny how those habitual thoughts brought back the same old reaction: tears. What the hell? She must be totally hormonal. Or the tears were an old conditioned reaction, being reminded of all the times she had tried to give Michael the ultimate gift. Connect him to herself with the ultimate tie.

Sure, during the marriage, when her brain was hijacked by her mother's I'll intentions, she had at some point stopped trying and secretly started to take birth control. What a waste! Joke was on her! During the tumultuous years of trying to win Michael back they had often been very reckless with birth control. Of course she would have never admitted this, but a part of her had hoped that a baby with her would finally force his hand to get rid of Debbie. Only, then doubts and fears had taken over, and when he suggested having another child with her, she had once again chickened out, fearing to be used. Well, it might have never happened anyway. God or whatever force seemed to be punishing her. Or maybe it was all for the best. She was unbalanced and insecure now. How would a pregnancy affect her mental state?

No- it looked like she was done having babies. So- this was just a freaky, late period. Nothing else. At least the increasing pain had served to distract her from wondering about Julia and her idiotic message. Lisa wiped her tears away and blew her nose, throwing her phone behind her. No more listening to messages. It was obviously not healthy for her state of mind.

Pulling into the business complex Tom’s lawyer was going to meet her in, she called Lish to make sure they were still on for lunch.

“You don’t sound good.”

“Yeah, well, I have good reasons. I tell you later. It’s a doozy.”

“What did he do now?  I thought you guys were good. Don’t make me kick ass. Even though I think I could take him.”

“Down, Momma-bear! We are good.  He keeps calling me.  And he misses me. And I miss him- like crazy.”

“Barf-keep that mushy, lovey-dovey crap to yourself will y’a?”

“Love you, too- and see you later!”

“Don’t be late, sista!”

Lish was a trip! But since Janet she has been her strongest rock. Funny, how Janet had pulled away.  Lisa suspected that Michael had something to do with that.  He had never been too thrilled when Janet started taking her side. Still, it had hurt when their conversations and outings became less and less frequent and more strained. Well, maybe that would change soon, too. Lisa didn’t have too many close friends and she missed Janet.

Lisa found the floor and Tom came to greet her. How sweet of him to meet up with her. He told her the lawyer he had her meet, Bill something, was a bit late and he had to run out, but he wanted to make sure she was ok. Lisa was tempted to ask if he had given Julia her number, then decided against it. She did share that Julia called her.

“Really? Oh, that is…interesting.” Tom looked at her without a hint of guilt.  Ok, it must not have been him.

“Yeah, I thought so, too. I might want to call her back, thanking her for her kind words. Do you have her number, by chance?”

Tom studied her for a second, his gaze calm and searching.

“Lisa-Marie, are you sure it’s a good idea. I mean…given the circumstances...”

“Look, I know they, ah, went out. But it’s fine. Everyone is friends Tom.  It’s all cool.  Very politically  correct and civil. Promise.”  She crossed her heart.  What’s a little lie as long as it serves the greater good of getting rid of evil. 

“Well…since she called you, I guess so.  Ok, but don’t make me regret this Lisa, ok?”

She gifted him with one of her best smiles and an innocent bat of her eyes.
“Pinky swear! You are a sweetie- thank you.”

He scribbled a number onto a pad and handed it to her.  They hugged and he left Lisa in waiting area, assuring her Bill would be right out. Reaching into her purse to retrieve her phone, Lisa was irritated when she noticed she must have left it in the car after she threw it into the backseat. Nothing was going right today!

“Lisa. I am so glad I tracked you down.”

Lisa whirled around at the voice, startled. Instantly, she regretted the fast move, feeling dizzy as everything distorted into a weird aquarelle of colors before her eyes. What the heck?

Lockwood ran up to her, his arms steading her, pulling her into his embrace.  How much weirder could this day get? With whatever little strength she had left, Lisa tried to push him away, but all energy was expanded on forcing the room to stop spinning. As soon as she felt halfway steady, she shoved him hard, making him take several steps back.

“Let the fuck go of me! Don’t you dare touch me.”

“You don’t have to be such an angry, violent bitch, you know! I’m just trying to help you. You looked like you were about to pass out.”

“You haven’t seen angry, violent bitch-mode. What the fuck are you doing here? Did you follow me? I told you to leave me the fuck alone. Do I really have to get a restraining order?” Yelling at him, made her dizzy once again.

“Lisa, I happened to see you walk in, and I followed you up.”

She did not believe a world of it. However, she was done fighting with him. As a matter of fact, she was done talking to him. Bill or whatever his name was would earn his money today. She needed legal means to keep the creep from following her around like some lovesick puppy with dependent personality disorder.

“Cut the crap. What do you want? And why are you still talking to me. I told you to piss off.”

“Well, my dear, I was more than your boyfriend. We work together, remember? And your fucked up plans to call off the rest of your tour and cancel appearances influence my livelihood. I think I should have a say.”

“Call the loser-union and have them contact my people. Or better yet- consider yourself relieved of any affiliation with my music and my band. You’re fired.”

His face turned red. How had she ever put up with him? This expression, the pink hue, the bugging eyes, the flopping hair- it all reminded her how he looked when he came ontop of her, and bile rose in her throat.

“You, you…You can’t fire me! We have a contract… How dare you?”

“How dare I? Well, I just do. And contract? Conveniently, I am in a legal office. So let me see what I can do about all that.  Or you know what? Sue me. See if the fuck I care.  All I want is to be rid of your ass. Permanently!”

To emphasize her point, she pushed him back one more time.

“You are such a bitch! I should be glad to be rid of you. Let Jackson deal with your crazy ass from now on. Till he drops you again. Cause you know it’s gonna happen. And I won’t be around to wipe you off the floor this time.”

“Promise?”

“Miss Presley? I am Bill.  I’m sorry to make you wait. Is there a problem?”

The pale young man in a suit that looked too big had interrupted just in time.  His eyes rested on Lockwood, who raised his hands and shook his head, before he retreated.

Finally!

With a sigh of relief, Lisa turned her attention to Bill and followed him into the office.

Had she watched Lockwood storm out the glass doors, she might have caught a glimpse of a woman, staring at her cell phone, smiling to herself. She might even have heard the mumbled, “Well, if that is not interesting. I bet he will love to see her back in the arms of her not-so-ex again.” And she might have been really interested in seeing the woman rush after Lockwood, catching up with him at the elevator.

After the legal business was taken care of, Lisa drove to the restaurant to meet Alecia for lunch. This day had to get better.  Lisa sank into the assigned booth and noticed a text had come in. Great.  After Lish warning her to not be late, she herself was stuck in traffic and would be about ten more minutes. Lisa ordered a glass of wine to calm her nerves.   Sure, it was early, but a little drink with lunch could not hurt. 

The phone chimed again and Lisa noticed she had another missed call. Dammit! Michael again.

“Hey, lovely one. I miss you. Are you avoiding me already? Never mind, I know you said you are lawyering up today. Give Tom my best. Tell him no hitting on my girl.  He is sneaky, that one. Call me back, will y’a?  We got to the house and it’s really nice. I keep imagining you in it. I also keep imagining us baptizing all the rooms.  Remember our little project at Neverland? I still cringe when I think how we almost got caught doing it in the laundry room.”

Michael’s naughty laughter also made her smile. Yeah, the “lets Christian every room with our love” project was one of the highlights of him buying the Ranch.  Lots of rooms in the main house.  And lots of side buildings.

“So anyway. The kids are running around like maniacs.  I don’t think they will ever go to sleep. I don’t think I will, either. Unless you call me. And maybe..ah…you know, help me out a little.  I know your voice can be very soothing- especially after it takes me on an erotic journey. I love that deep tone after you come and it takes you a while to catch your breath- so sexy. So, yeah…have I mentioned I miss you?  Call me. I love you so much. Bye, baby.”

Well, the day had just brightened two hundred percent.  Who cared if she was still eating by cramps on and off and if she was hounded by the loony lawyer or paralegal or whatever she was and stalked by Lockwood.  It was all worth it.  Pretty soon this all would be but a distant memory.  Pretty soon she’d be in his arms again, trying to catch her breath, looking into his eyes, adoring that blush spreading over his cheeks after he proved once again that she was the only woman for him.  Soon. But not soon enough for her!

In the meantime, a phone call would do.  Lisa hit re-dial and it rang for what seemed like forever. 

“Hello?”

The voice was obviously not Michael’s.

“Hey. Paris?  This is Lisa.  How are you? How was your flight?”

“Fine. Thank you. How are you Miss Lisa?”

Paris sounded less than thrilled, but she was polite, which was an improvement.

“I’m great.  Other than missing you guys and your Daddy.”

“Well, we have been busy.  Grace his with us again. She helped get our rooms set up.”

Wonderful. Well, at least Paris sounded happy.  And as long as Grace stayed out of Michael’s room Lisa had no problem.

“That’s great, Paris.  I am glad to hear you like the new house. Hey, is your Daddy around? He tried to call me earlier and asked me to call him back.”

“I’m sorry, Miss Lisa, but he is in the shower.”

Lisa really wished Paris would dispend with the formal “Miss” in front of her name, as it was a logical way to put a noticeable barrier between them.  But really, she could not fault her.  It must be so difficult to adjust to all these changes.

“Well, can you let him know I am on the phone? Maybe you can call him through the door or something. I really would like to talk to him for a minute.”

“Well, Daddy told me to not interrupt him unless Julia calls again. They talked for a long time just a couple of minutes ago.  I think he misses her, too.”

Lisa closed her eyes and bit her lip. Julia called Michael?  Well, if she was not a busy bee today.  Good thing she had asked Tom for the number.  The bitch had to be shown her boundaries. Right now, she was really out of line.  All that talk about accepting Michael’s relationship with her was obviously only that if she called him non-stop. On the other hand- how had she gotten his new number?  Had Michael called her and given it to her as well? Why did he have to be so damn nice all the time?  Everyone got the benefit of the doubt- well, everyone but her.

Wasn’t it you, Lisa, who insisted that exes could be friends?

Not exes that were nothing but short term distractions.

And why was Michael only to be disturbed if Julia called? What the hell was going on now?

“Well, Paris, please let your Daddy know I called, ok?  And I will call him back later.”

“I will. Bye, Miss Lisa.”

“Bye, Paris. Big hug to you and the boys.”

The line went dead. So much for being more polite.

Thankfully, Alecia finally arrived, throwing herself into the chair opposite Lisa, running a hand through her short hair.

“Fucking L.A. traffic. I am so done with this shit.  Can I come to the Desert with you?  I am all up for being in some kind of camel back up. At least that would be entertaining.”

“Actually, Bahrain is very modern, Lish.”

“Well, fuck that shit. I’m staying here then. Plus camels probably smell bad.  Speaking of- Lisa- you look like crap.  Pale crap that is.  What’s wrong now?”

Oh, where to start.  Lisa filled her perceptive friend in on all her adventures of today, ending with the attempted call to Michael.

“His kid sounds like a tough nut to crack.”

“Yeah. She loves him. She is so protective of him.  I totally get that.”

“Sounds like she has Daddy wrapped tightly ‘round her little finger, Lise.  I know you can empathize with that, too, but don’t lose track that kids can be manipulative in their own right. Are you sure, she was not just willfully not handing her Dad the phone? And maybe she made the whole Julia thing up.”

“Maybe. Not likely, though.  I can’t see her lying about that. And I told you that bitch had tried to call me earlier, warning me to treat him right. I mean, seriously?”

“Yeah, doesn’t she know he is yours to abuse?”

Lisa looked up and met her friend’s sarcastic grin.

“Oh shut up! I love him.”

“These days. I remember when you professed to hate him. ‘Stupid idiot’- or was it ‘fucking, stupid idiot’- was his code-name for a while, wasn’t it?”

“I only hated him ‘cause I love him so much. I always loved him- even when I couldn’t stand it or face it.”

“Ok, ok.  Didn’t I propose that logic one day?  And didn’t you retaliate by throwing something at me?  I think I still have the mark.”

“It was a muffin, if I recall correctly.”

“That’s right. Blueberry.  An old one, too- and it was crusty and hard. You abused me with stale baked goods.  What kind of friend are you?” 

Lisa laughed- God, it felt good to laugh again!

The rest of the lunch would have been perfect had the cramping not returned.  Lisa took more Motrin. One problem solved.  Now, if Michael would call, she would consider the day a win.

On her way back to the house, Lisa dialed the number to Julia’s cell phone.

“This is Lisa Presley. I need to talk to you. I hope you have to guts to come to my place and say the crap you left on my voicemail to my face. We also need to clear up some stuff.  So, please, let me know if you can make it out today. I want to get this settled once and for all.”

Lisa left her address and short instructions how to get to her property.  Let’s see if the bitch would have the gall to show up.  Let’s see how the classy Miss Julia would act on Lisa’s turf. Obviously, she needed to be told to not mess with another woman’s man. Especially if Michael was the man- and if Lisa was the woman. 

Lisa had barely made it home and had changed into shorts and a t-shirt when her security guard called up with news of Julia’s arrival.  That was fast.  Well, why put it off. Better to face her now and lay down the law once and for all.  This would not be pretty, but it was necessary. 

Lisa had Julia show out on the back patio by the pool.  She asked Maria, her faithful cook, to bring out some lemonade and cookies.  Nothing better than to fool your opponent into believing all was friendly and honky-dory. And what was more friendly than lemonade and cookies?  Not that she really considered Julia an opponent anymore.  She was a nuisance, nothing more.

“Thanks for coming out. I hope you don’t mind my casual outfit. I just got home.”

“Hey, not at all. This is your house after all. A lovely home, by the way.”

“Thank you. Michael and I picked it out together. We used to live here for quite a bit.”

The little fact was thrown out there to counterbalance that Lisa felt like a little ugly girl next to the put together, professional image Julia projected in her red pants suit.  Well, hopefully, she would sweat her ass off on the warm patio.

“Interesting.  And I guess that’s also where you moved your ex-husband nr 1 in?  I am sorry, I lose track, I learned you made quite a few trips down the aisle.”

Well, good. If the bitch came out in full attack mode, at least she didn’t have to make any pretenses at being nice and polite.

“So, the reason I asked to talk to you: I did not appreciate your call to me. I am aware that you and Michael went out a time or two, but that gives you no right to but into my business. Or his.”

“Michael and I went out more than once. Or should I say we more than went out.”

The headache was back with full force.  As were the cramps which now consisted of dull cramps interspersed with sharp, stabbing flashes of agony.  Why was her body conspiring against her?  She really needed to be focused.

“Whatever. You are not the first chick Mike fucked to get over something or back at me. But you will be the last. We are back together. What we have withstood is more than you can ever imagine- even with your wonderful lawyer brain. So let me put this as plainly as I can: Back off.  Don’t call him, don’t call me. Stay the hell away from us. And stay away from his children as well.  You’re confusing them.”

“I really don’t think you are in any position to tell me who in Michael’s family I can talk to. As I recall, you do not share any children with him. So if I want to talk to his kids, and if he is ok with that, I hardly think it’s your business.”

Keep cool Lisa. Punching her will not do anyone any good. Sure it would feel great.  But you’d look like a crazy loon.  And she would look like the little victim.  Fuck that shit!

“It doesn’t matter if Paris is mine- she is part of my family. I am protective of her.  Just like Michael has always been protective of my kids.  It’s not anything you would understand- you don’t have kids, right?”

It was a delight to see Julia lose her composure finally. They had never made it to sit down and Lisa now wished she had the luxury to grab a chair.  But no, she already felt at a disadvantage for being shorter than the mannequin built woman before her.  She’d be damned if she would show a weakness and put herself I a physically inferior position.

“Miss Presley. I am well aware that you and Michael share a history. But you screwed him over royally more than once. And I think you are still at it. I care about him. As his friend it is my duty to watch out for his interests.”

“His interests? Give me a fucking break.  You’re looking out for one thing- your own interests. You’re damn right we have a history. We have been together through some really nasty shit and through some incredible odds. We’ve been at this for 17 years.  You have known him for what? Two months maybe?  So he fucked you. I’m sure it was good. For you anyway.  Get over it.  He has. He was over you as soon as he laid eyes on me again.”

“You mean when you seduced him in a hidden backroom while his date and your fiancé were outside? Not to mention some very important friends of his?  Yes, very classy. You must have been hard up. You tell me I have a problem getting over him? Maybe it’s true- but it was about more than sex. You should know him well enough to realize with him it’s never just about the lay.”

Touché.  The bitch was right.   God, how she hated her!

“Like you said- with him it’s about more than sex. And it was about more than sex that night with me. When Michael and I are together…wait- I don’t have to justify myself to you.  You’re right. We made love that night. And you weren’t even a glimpse on his radar.  He was not thinking about you at all – not from the moment he closed that door behind him. And- by the way- he came after me that night.”

“Which explained why he made love to me hours later. He seemed to have forgotten about you as soon as he washed up.”

The idea of slapping her across that perfect face became more and more attractive.

“I think you need to leave.  I hope I made myself clear. Stay the fuck away from me, from Michael, and from his family. Or I will come after you and mow you down in ways you won’t ever expect.”

“I am not afraid of you, Lisa-Marie. You are nothing but a spoiled, insecure, unfaithful little skank with money. Money doesn’t convey class.  You have no claim to fame other than your dead father and two famous ex-husbands in your menagerie of men. I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt, I tried to listen to Michael go on and on about his newfound fairy tale. Well imagine his surprise when he found out his little princess was already back in the arms of her guitarist/producer/lover.”

What the hell was she talking about? Had she lost her mind? What kind of game was she playing? And what kinds of lies had she told Michael?

“Have you lost your mind? Inhaled too much dust form law books? Or something stronger?”

“I saw you and Mr. Lockwood.  The poor sod.  He has no idea he is being used as a bedwarmer until you scurry off to mess with Michael, does he?  But really, you should be more careful when you engage in public displays of affection. One is hardly ever as private as one thinks.”

When had she hugged Lockwood last?  Julia was out of her mind! Another victim of the Royal Cobra- Mike drove his devotees crazy quite routinely.  All one had to do was look at Debbie and Grace. And Shana…Tatiana…a never-ending list.

“Get out.  I am done with your lies.”

Another sharp pain made Lisa turn and hold on to the edges of the table. The sensation was that of a searing spear being shoved through her uterus into her back. Great, now it actually felt like her period started. Maybe then the discomfort would ease up. She closed her eyes momentarily to steady herself.  She also grabbed her phone which was on the table, making sure she’d have it with her when she’d storm back inside. Security could deal with the varmint on the patio.

“Lies? Well, pictures don’t lie, do they?”

Turning, Lisa once again saw white and black dots chasing each other like fireflies on a warm June night.  When her vision steadied she was faced with the image of herself in Lockwood’s arms. What the hell?

Oh, God! The image was quite obviously taken earlier today, when the maniac had pulled her into his arms after she had gotten dizzy. The question was, how did Julia get it? 

“You dirty little slut! How dare you invade my privacy?” Lisa reached for the phone and Julia backed away slightly.

“How dare I?  I am nothing but a good friend to Michael- the sweetest person on Earth.  You have no right to play with his feelings.  He has such hopes.  And they are all built on the quicksand of your lies.  You’re just exerting your sexual power over him.  You have no intention to go with him.  You just wanna play with him some more- before you once again cast him aside for some loser.  See? I have gotten to know your MO quite well.”

This was ridiculous.  The bitch had to leave.  There was no way Michael would believe her.  Would he?  He loved her.  He said he loved her.

But did he trust her?

Oh God, could this misrepresentation of the truth destroy and erode the ground she had worked so hard to claim?

How would she react if she saw some picture of him in the arms of – let’s say Diana. Would she not think he was running back for some creature comfort again? Fuck it all to hell! She had to talk to him. And she would- as soon as the horrible bitch would leave.

“You don’t know shit. You might as well erase that picture. Michael will never believe you.  And if he does, I can clear it all up. It was nothing.”

“So, if it’s nothing why did you want to take the phone? I tell you why: You don’t want him to see what a worthless little whore he is wasting his love on.”

That was it. Lisa’s vision was colored by the scarlet lens of intense, justified rage.  Before she knew what she was doing, she hauled back her arm, ready to slap the shit out of the bitch, finally stopping the river of crap spluttering from her toxic mouth. Julia took a step to the side to evade the powerful strike. Lisa, captive of the energy of the movement, lost her balance and, at the same time, was assaulted by the most agonizing, viscous lightening rod of pure agony. Nausea and pain mingled and tripped her up-quite literally. Despite her efforts to reach for any form of support she felt like a puppet with all strings cut.

She was aware she fell into her pool, still grabbing her phone.  One of her last thoughts was that she would not be able to call him now.  Hitting the cool water with a splash that made everything else go eerily quiet, her eyes opened once more, and for a second she wondered about the strange red tint spreading around her before everything went dark.

(to be continued)

 

The Difference is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License

©2011 Erika B Michaels. All Rights Reserved. This story is a work of fiction. Any names, places, and other identifying features are used in a fictional manner, for entertainment purposes only, and are in no way representative of actual events. This work may not be reproduced, copied, transmitted, or stored without expressed written permission by Erika B Michaels. All photos and images, mentioned songs or song titles are copyright their creators.