To Have and To Hold- Chapters NEW- chapter 9

Authors Note: Here is the new chapter for this story! I am trying to get it posted tonight, so please excuse typos, etc- I will correct as I catch mistakes. Thank you to everyone for hanging in there and keeping the interest for this story alive! Enjoy!

9

How to put a value on moments that in the blink of an eye enter the realm of memories? How to capture that glimmer of light breaking the solid doom with razor-sharp precision? How to appreciate paradise before eternal eviction?

The mind-numbing peace lasted for about as long as successful imprisonment of an invisible butterfly in a gilded cage. Hiding from the truth in his arms, being anesthetized by his presence, lulled into fake security provided the equivalent of floating on warm, fuzzy clouds.  Sadly, adaptation to Lisa’s drug had already set in, making the highs shorter and shorter before hurling her down the rollercoaster into despair.

Don't do it, Lisa. He will be gone soon enough. Don't start to grieve while you have this moment. Don't give it away so easily.

Why not?  Why not be realistic and see this for what it was?  Sex.  Very good sex. A biological function. There were no fairytales.  No happy endings. Not for her. Not this time. Or ever, really. There was no relief. No merciful wake up call. This was not just another nightmare.  This was her in the bed of a married man whose wife had just stopped by for lunch.  The mother of his child.  Granted, all she had was a cheap ass wedding ring, but so what?  Who cared if Michael sent his assistant to shop at Walmart if the real treasure, the true bond was contained safe and securely in her belly?

And guess, what, Lise, the person to blame for all this can be found in the nearest mirror.

Yep.  No more lies, and no more rationalization.  She might have had all the wonderful reasons in the world to hold out on him about another baby.  And they might make all the sense to any rational adult.  Too bad they had not held water to Michael's sense of entitlement and his logical rules.  The Debster had offered before, in the past, and he had held off as he started to see Lisa as a viable option.  Procreating with the daughter of the King of Rock n' Roll was after all a much superior idea to being the Daddy to Nursey's baby.  She had lied to herself, justified that he wanted a child with the woman he loved: her. 

Too funny. Downright hilarious. Well, maybe that was what he had told himself - he liked to have this nice little, squeaky clean image of his motives. Then, at some point it had stopped to matter- he wanted a baby. Any baby.  Idiotic regards like love, grief, or a healthy family didn't matter.  Not in his world.

He was not interested in working things out, and he was not interested in her emotional turmoil. There was only one thing he was focused on.  Hell, she was surprised he didn't simply ask her for her egg and hurry off to the nearest lab.

Things had gotten so horribly bad, even their sex life took a hit. At one point, when he whined again, crying like an injured doe that he needed a baby, she sarcastically had remarked they might need to have sex for that- and he had looked at her as if she had lost her mind. Maybe that was when she had given him the wonderful idea to find himself a willing egg donor, a turkey baster, and a lab.  The willing donor, of course, was his very good friend, waiting in the wings, no doubt listening to his pain and fueling his delusion. The only upside to any of these thoughts was imagining how Debbie was ripping her panties off, only to have Michael hand her a syringe with sperm.  Her face would have been truly priceless. No wonder she hit back by making some calls to the tabloids. At least he had caught on to that gambit. Not that it changed anything.  Debbie had won.

Michael must have felt her stiffen, and he kissed her head one more time, backing off to find her eyes.

"You ok? You're not crying again, are you, girl?"

"Nope." Lisa sniffled and wiped her eyes just in case.

"I might have caught something on the plane. You know how it's really just a breeding ground for germs."

"Hey- that might give me a good excuse to not sit by Debbie tonight. I bet she wants to find out what you're doing here. So, I could tell her, you gave me your cold and I don't wanna infect the baby."

That's right. Michael had a premiere to go to. With his lovely bride.  How great to see his mind once again only was concerned with his own comfort. What did it matter that she was in pain? All that mattered was that he didn’t feel like explaining her presence to his wife.

Lisa, Lisa, Lisa- what the hell are you still doing here?  Why did you ever agree to this?

Because she loved the idiotic lunatic.  Heaven help her.

No, maybe it was more that she was simply in some weird dependent state.  It was like an addict who tried to not be around his crack dealer, but got weak when the supplier called. 

There you go. Forget about this love business. You just wanted a good fuck. Keep repeating that, Lisa, maybe you will buy it.

Well, she would just have to invest in some toys.  Or give Luke another chance.  He certainly had been sniffing around more and more.  Weirdly enough, Danny seemed to push them together. 

Yeah, really weird, Lisa. Maybe Danny got a whiff of your psychosis himself and wanted to be as far away as possible.

Sure...everybody wanted to be as far away from her as possible. After they used her just one more time.  Give little Lisa one more kick- she doesn't mind. She's nothing but a fuck-up anyway.

What in the world had she become?  The old shame monster rose and twisted her guts and her heart. 

Your Daddy would be so proud, girl. You talk a tough game. But you're nothing but their doormat.  Thank heaven he didn't have to be around to see what a disgusting waste of space you have become.

She felt nauseous again.

"Lisa? Are you ok?"

Hardly. But it wasn't like he cared.  He just got his. Again. And the side effect of having touched the lining of heaven only to be sling-shot back into hell was more poisonous than expected.  What an insane way to treat her longing for him! The cure would be her death sentence.  Why didn’t she just take some arsenic and cut out the middle man?

She pushed him away slightly.

"Yeah, I'm fine.  You need to get ready, though, don't ch'a?"

Michael reached out to touch a strand of her hair and she backed away.

His eyes narrowed.

"I get ready when I want to. What are they gonna do? Start my premiere without me?"

Lisa swung her legs out of the bed, positioning her back to him now.

“Well, either way. I gotta be on my way. I got…shit to do.” Her voice sounded choked up and unnaturally bland. 

"Lisa- I thought we worked through all this nonsense.  I thought you agreed to give us a chance?"

The sound of her cold laughter made the air around them chill further. "And here I thought I agreed to fuck. Which is what we did. What chanced, Michael? You are married. We are divorced.  You will finally be a father soon.  There is no chance for us.  And me hanging around will not change any of this. So why bother?"

After flinching when she again described their love making as nothing but a nice tumble, he mumbled something that sounded like "and whose fault is that," following her remark about the divorce.

"Say what?" Her head whipped around. He better not start again with the blame-game.

Michael bit his lip and sat up, leaning against his pillow, his arms crossed now.

"Nothing."

"Good."

She got up and pulled the comforter off with her, wrapping it around herself.  What an insignificant protection…but better than nothing.

"Where are you going?"

"To pee. Then I'll take a shower- and find out if I can fly back tonight or have to get a room somewhere."

"Fucking shit!" His yelled curse stopped her cold.  By the sounds of it, she was getting to him now.

"What?"

She turned to face him, their eyes colliding in silent battle. Oh, he was pissed alright. Nothing annoyed him more than having his game plan challenged.

"Are we back to this shit again? I thought we talked about that?"

"About what? Me leaving? I have children on another continent, Michael. Children, whose father is very concerned that I just flew off to another country without a really god reason."

"Well, fuck him."

Lisa cringed.  Her eyes narrowed. She was this close to just throwing some words at Michael that would not only make him shut the fuck up, they would also assure her an easy exit without any more resistance.

Biting her lip, she shook her head and rolled her eyes, attempting to hold back the poison while also fighting rising tears.

Come on, you coward, tell him.  You wanna make him hate you and stop this lunacy?  Tell him about the painkillers you have turned to.  Make him look at you like the piece of shit you are.

Distracting her, Michael launched himself out of bed.  Uncharacteristically not hunting for a robe, but coming at her naked.  God- he was not fighting fair.

Michael grabbed her shoulders and got into her personal space. Way too close for her comfort.

"Lisa. I don't care what he thinks. So, he has to take care of his children for a couple of days. Big whoop. We have things to work out. I was dead serious, earlier. I do not love Debbie like a wife. She was supposed to be a surrogate. I told you this from the start."

"You did not tell me shit from the start. You gave me hope, Michael! You made me think we were working shit out. We were spending time together. Next thing I knew - boom, you sowed your oats and hit the bulls eye."

His face was so close to hers now. His eyes shooting daggers, slicing her open, starting the hemorrhaging once again.

"Her and I worked on this before. What was I supposed to do? Abandon all my plans?"

"Yes! Yes! That is exactly what you were supposed to do. If you wanted to get back together with me, why not stop the plans?"

"The eggs had been fertilized, Lisa. The implantation was successful. I could not kill my baby. I had to go ahead. Don't you see that?"

He was simply not getting the point! Why was he mixing fertility cocktails while trying to get back together with her in the first place?

"So, you killed us instead."

"I don't think I filed for divorce."

"But you signed."

"Fucking shit, Lisa. You asked me to! You told me to! When you send someone divorce papers, you might expect that they actually do the totally surprising thing and sign them, you know."

Her eyes closed and she forced the tears to stay at bay, felt them abrading the back of her throat like pure acid.  Of course, some element of the bitter medicine could be attributed to the truth. She had tried to force him into action.  All her life people had bent to her whims.  Danny had been easy- he hated conflict. And she knew he was financially dependent on her. So she had the means to make him see things her way.

Things were so different with Michael.  She had thought her power over him was that he would ultimately choose her.  That he wanted to be with her more than he wanted to be lulled into some fake state of sedation by yes-sayers. More even than a child. But no, he had to call her bluff.  She should have known. How many games of chess and Strategy had she lost to him?  Usually, her losses were accompanied by a lesson in warfare he bestowed on her.  Initially, his knowledge had been thrilling and tantalizing.  Later on, she became annoyed when she came to see the speeches as lectures, aimed at highlighting his superiority. 

For the smallest, most glorious amount of time, she had been able to delude herself into thinking everything was working out. Christmas after his breakdown had been one torturous nightmare.  Of course, she pretended she was nothing but elated to be free of him.  Her mother and Danny were in her ears twenty four/ seven, assuring her she was doing the right thing, taking her to meetings at the ‘castle,’ spouting their propaganda.  However, as soon as she looked into the sad eyes of Riley and Ben, saw them staring out the windows at night, asking for Michael, had to listen to them beg to talk to him on the phone the reflection of her own pain took her breath away.  When they did talk to him, he usually asked for her- and she always made one excuse after the other to avoid him. Let him miss her! Let him hang out with his friends in Euro Disney- let him sit and cry for her. The only problem was, from what she could see from the pictures, he did not miss her one flipping minute! Then, he dared to take Karen to dinner and no doubt alerted the tabloids to have their pictures plastered all over the place. 

“Jacko’s new flame.” 

How fucking dared he!Like she was jealous of the make-up criminal. He wouldn't do Karen to spite her, would he?

Then, the morning of her birthday, she heard the kids open her door, whispering to each other.

“Is she awake yet?”

“No, I told you, she is sleeping…”

“You do it, Ri. You wake her.”

“No, Ben- you go in- she won’t be mad at you. You’re the baby.”

“I’m not no baby!”

She had been smiling. Her babies were too cute.  The night before, she had cried herself to sleep, intense sadness at the realization that she would have to face this new year of her life without Michael in it.  He was really gone. 

Too bad she still heard his voice in her head…

Singing Happy Birthday, no less.

Lisa sat up and stared at Ben who was now standing next to her bed, watching her, willing her to wake up.

“What was that?”

“What Mommy?”

“I thought I heard singing.”

“Oh, that’s Michael, Mommy- He’s getting your cake, but Riley had to go back and help and, and…”

Lisa stared at her son whose red cheeks and breathless words made her wonder if he was in his fantasy world again.

“Ben- Michael is not here, remember?”

“No,yes… but Mommy-…”

At that moment Riley opened her door, grinning a mischievous smile as she stuck her head in the door.

“Happy Birthday, Mommy!”

Lisa thought she heard whispering as Riley turned again and said something to someone behind her.

Oh, God…could it be?

The door opened all the way and she had to blink.  This had to be a dream.

Here was Michael, carrying a tray with a cake lit with candles, striding into the room as if he still lived here, singing Happy Birthday.  Since the kids chimed in, she had a moment to collect her thoughts and close her mouth. When the song was over, he smiled at her.

“Morning, Mommy.  Happy Birthday, Lisa.”

Riley bounced up on the bed and held a red rose out to her.

“Look, Mommy- Michael brought you a flower. And the cake!  Mom! Say something! Are you surprised?”

Riley giggled and looked from her flabbergasted mother to a nervous looking Michael.

Michael laughed. “Give her a minute Ri- Mommy looks…surprised…”

His eyes turned serious, evaluating her, begging her…

“How did you get in?” She finally croaked out.

“Wanna blow out the candles before I set the house on fire?”

“How…”

“He knocked Mommy!” Riley looked at her as if she worried about her mental health.

Of course.  He knocked.  And who was she to refuse him entry?

And just like that Michael had been allowed back into her heart.  As if he ever had been out... They talked. They took things slow.  They went out- and of course they made love.  Everything seemed as if he had given in and was ready to make a go of their relationship. On her terms. What a fucking lunatic she was to be lulled by her own self-deceit.

Michael didn’t compromise.  He didn’t know how to. The term to him meant the other person had to meet him- on his turf. He snowed her good, pretending all was well. Of course, now she realized, the words ‘I am not making a baby with Debbie’ had never been uttered. Which to him meant, he had not been lying.

No, not perfect him. He only made her think they were back together and that their marriage could be salvaged.

While at the same time forging ahead with the back-up plan. What in the world had he been thinking?  That she would just accept Debbie’s baby once she found out?

“Of course we can keep the adorable bundle, Michael.  Why don’t you go and make some more babies with obsessed stalkers while I sit here and smoke my crack pipe…”

At some point it must have occurred to him that she might not be too happy with the bun in Deb’s oven.  He suddenly had backed off, and she thought he simply needed time and space.  She resolved to not panic and be patient.

What a joke it must have all been to him and his little nurse!

No, she could not do this again! No amount of replaying events would fix any of this.

“You’re right Michael. I sent you the papers. And you signed them.  I am the heavy here. You are the victim.  You win. You always win.” Shrugging, she attempted to push by him.

“I win? Well, it don’t feel like it, Lisa. I am trapped.  I don’t want this…don’t want her. I love you. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?  You said you loved me, too.”

There was that injured tone again; the tears in his eyes.  Too bad it didn’t  fool her.  He was not some light weight. He was a master manipulator.  And she was damned if she’d feel sorry for him and let him play his little victim number.

“I did. I do. But so what?  We just gotta learn to deal with it.  We both made our choices.”

Dropping the comforter, she turned the shower on.  The darkening of his eyes was not lost on her.

“Can you please chose to stay a while longer? Please. Can you be here when I get back? I need you.”

“I don’t know, Michael. What good would that do?”

“We can discuss how we’ll go on.”

What was there to discuss?  What about him having signed on the dotted line did he not understand? He acted as if he was a free agent and it was totally alright to have a wife and a girl-friend.  How could he not be torn to pieces?  Shit- she had not loved Danny when she fooled around with Michael, but still, the guilt had gutted her day after day.  He had told her then, he didn’t like being seen as “the other man.”  Was that it? Was this his revenge now?  Was he showing her what she had put him through when she had – according to him- stalled her divorce? She had asked him to be patient, to keep things on the down low.  It sure sucked to have the shoe on the other foot now!

“I tell you how we go on. You live your life with your wife and your baby, and I live mine.- Now, do you mind if I go pee before my shower?”

His lips tightened and he stepped back, granting her some privacy.

If she was not mistaken, she heard him throw a pillow and yell, “Women!”

Minutes later, she had just stepped into the shower, allowing a deep breath to relax her slightly as the warm water shrouded her behind a curtain of silver mist, Michael startled the shit out of her by opening the shower door. She half expected him to be naked. But no, he wore a robe.  One that was loosely tied at his waist, granting her ample view of his chest… Did he have to look so goddamn sexy?

“With whom?”

Her eyes had glided down to the narrow waist, totally sidetracked, so his words made zero sense.

“What?”

“You said I should live my life with my wife and baby and you live your life. With whom? It sounded like something else was gonna hit. A name… You got something to share?”

Lisa sighed. Why did men always think women needed someone else?

Yeah, Lisa, what an odd thought. Since you are such a success at being alone. You handle it so horribly well.

Goosebumps spread on her skin as the cool air seeped into her cocoon. Michael’s turn to be distracted as somehow his eyes slipped to her nipples, which tightened more in response.

“Close the door! You’re letting the cold in!”

“Well, too bad. I wanna talk.”

His eyes must have forgotten the organ to talk with- as they roamed her body in some search for communication devices, hitting her breasts, her stomach, her legs… 

“Well, I’m showering. And I aint’ getting out for you to interrogate me. Not like you have any right to, anyway.”

His fingers quickly untied the belt of his robe and with lightning speed, he took it off, throwing it behind himself and stepped into the cubicle.

Of all the nerve! Why could he not simply leave her alone?

The tingling in her body tried to shut her brain down and she bit her lip, fighting the drugging effect of his mere presence.

“Fine- I get in then. And I got a right to do that- since this is my room- and therefore my shower. Scoot over.”

He pushed her lightly, his touch on her shoulders igniting a chain reaction of explosions skipping across her nervous system.

“Ahhhh! You make me so fucking mad- pushy lunatic!” Her scream echoed from the tiles.

“Well, if you weren’t such an infuriating b… woman, and would talk to me, I wouldn’t have to go to such extreme measures!”

They glared at each other.  Lisa tried very hard to not notice his engorging penis standing proud against his flat stomach. She licked her lips and saw him shiver slightly. And funny enough, it was not the least bit cold in the misty universe surrounding their bodies. The wetness between her legs was in no way connected to the shower dousing her and had everything to do with the man tantalizing and drowning her with his energy.

Michael ran his hands through his hair which by now hung in a sexy mess around his head and down onto his shoulders.  His eyes found hers and started a new fire in her heart, flames licking her insides.

Lisa swallowed and she set her chin. No, this was not going to go down like this again.

“Don’t even think about it.”

His eyebrow shot up.

“What? Washing? You keep reminding me I have to get ready so I’m planning on doing just that.”

“I thought there were other rooms? They don’t have showers?”

Michael reached for the soap and, doing so, accidentally brushed her breasts.

She hoped her sharply indrawn breath conveyed the message of intense irritation, not arousal. Maybe he wouldn’t noticed her puckered nipples.

He stepped behind her, and starting lathering up, his eyes locked to hers as she fought to not let the image of his hand leaving a bubbly trace over his delicious physique get to her.  She had the same chance of being successful as a bar of butter had at staying solid when blasted by a blowtorch.

“They do. But I wanna talk to you and you can’t run away from here.”

Damn if he wasn’t right. Her confinement, of course, was not due to any real obstacle, as all she had to do was push the glass door open and step into the chilled atmosphere waiting for her. Arctic frost- the same she found everywhere he was not. And yet- maybe it was safer than the eternal plasma fire consuming her in his vicinity.

“Whatever…control freak.”

Lisa started to wash her hair and, with Herculaneum effort , turned her back to him, trying to ignore the internal battle to simply disregard all the issues that should, following any rational logic, send her running. Wet or not. And wet she was.  Dripping…

Michael started to hum, as if he had not just been mad seconds earlier.  Like Al Green’s ‘I’m so in love with you’ would do anything to butter her up.  So what, if her body again felt like every single cell was hypersensitive and even the descending droplets made her want to jump out of her skin.

“Here, let me help you…”

“No, I…..”

Ignoring her halfhearted protests, his hands were already in her hair, taking over.  The long, talented digits started to initially use the cloud of shampoo to wash her long strands, before he piled it all on head, then started to apply pressure to her scalp, massaging it, drawing circles, hitting pressure points she had not even known to exist. 

Oh God…she should make him stop.

“Hmmmm…” The sound escaped the depths of her throat, and she did not have to turn to see his victorious smile. Obviously he didn’t realize the moan was a request to cease and desist.

Michael’s fingers found her temples and massaged there, again working their magic. Did she have to make it so easy for him to turn her to thoughtless goo? Can the sea refuse the pull of the moon? The most amazing sensation spread through her, filling her, streams of relaxation and sedation painting a net of colors all around her.  The most delicious trap… 

Helpless, her head fell back. Her eyes opened and she was suffused by the heat emanating from his gaze.  He seemed to be studying her.  The expression was an odd conglomerate of intense sexual arousal and some distant interest, as if he was curious to evaluate her reaction for a science project. At times, Michael seemed like a beautiful alien, gathering facts to understand what in the world made these odd humans around him tick.

His fingers now traced along her scalp again, following the curve of her cranium with his fingertips in a combing motion that started from her forehead and slowly dragged down to her neck.

In something akin to a drugged state, her eyes closed again, aiming to shut out anything but the amazing tingling dispersing like fine glitter from her head to the rest of her body. 

Michael tipped her head forward gently, obviously not hindered by any significant muscle tension in her neck and he used the soapy film to now massage her neck, then her shoulders.  She did not notice when he reached for the scented soap he had previously used on himself, drawing patterns all over her, then using his magical hands to chase all tension, and all rational thought from her.  She was nothing but a bundle of nerves.  A vessel molded and shaped by motion and friction.  It was up to his skill to form and shape her on some otherworldly potter’s wheel-and up to his digression to shatter her.

When he followed the line of her legs she tensed a bit, and he shushed her, told her to simply breathe and relax. Her erratic heartbeat was imitated by the thumping between her legs.

Lisa swallowed, remembering their earlier interlude when he had asked her to spread her legs. 

This time, his intentions were more veiled.  He took his time, thoroughly soaping her down.  Touching her inner thighs, they opened by their own volition…

She moaned again, biting her lip.

“Gosh, girl…you are so swollen there…”

And comments like this did not help.

Lisa half expected him to trace her folds, to dip into her heat, to explore her wetness.

But no, Michael, of course, could never do what was expected of him.

Instead, after the softest touch, he reached over and took the handheld shower head.

“Lean your head back, baby…”

She did as he asked, watching helplessly as the woman who minutes earlier had wanted nothing more than to escape, leaned back, allowing him to rinse her off. Hell, who was she kidding? She’d give herself over to him in any way he wanted to.  When would she ever be able to get off this ride?

Gently, he took care to shield her face from the bubbles, then guided the water over all her valleys and planes, driving her insane with the innocent pretense to simply wash her off. Leaning back slightly, she felt his arousal against her. Yes, Mr. Innocent also could not contain his reaction. The small satisfaction for now had to do.

“So…who do you want to share your life with, Lisa?”

The spray of the water descended from her shoulders toward the front, approaching her breast.

God- she must have been mad to think he didn't have ulterior motives.  So, this was an interrogation.  Smooth…

Come on, Lisa- here is your emergency parachute. Your cyanide capsule. Are you brave enough?

Lisa cleared her throat. “I didn’t say I was gonna share my life with anyone. I simply said you had to go on with yours.”

Big surprise! You chickened out.  Don’t whine about not getting away if you cannot accomplish the simple task of ripping his heart out.

Well, if you cut away from the mother ship in space, you have to know that you will suffocate. 

The pressure of the water massaged the soft tissue of her breast, avoiding her nipples.  He drew a line between her breasts, allowing the warm tingle to go down to her belly, finding the area of her lower abdomen.  Yes, of course, he know the tight spiral of pleasure sat inside her uterus, and what it would do to apply pressure to the butterflies driving her crazy inside.  Sometimes she cursed the fact he had read all about anatomy …and was not afraid to use his knowledge.

“Yeah, but you said it in a way as if to point out that since I have a wife, you’re free to do what you want.” The velvet of his voice almost cloaked his razor sharp intent.

Bingo.  Why did he have to make it sound like that was an unrealistic statement?

She managed a sarcastic laugh.

“And I’m not?”

The water was now diverted down her thighs, then around and up to her ass, back down her leg.  Ever so languidly, he allowed spray to ascend along the inner curve of her calf, then her inner thigh… Oh God…

“No sure. You seem to have a whole new rule book. But I ain’t sharing, Lise, you know that.”

Of course not. But it was alright for her to be the third wheel.  His sense of entitlement almost was enough to overcome her drugged state of sexual tension. Almost…

“Well…,” she cleared her throat again in an attempt to project some convincing toughness, “it might not be up to you anymore.”

“Well, that, my lady, that’s just…” His deep voice trailed off.

The warm jet now run back up her behind again and over to her other leg, rinsing all the bubbles from her. 

Lisa turned toward him.  Was she forcing some contact to where she really wanted to feel him? Or did she simply want to ensure he was just as affected by this 'innocent' interlude as she was.  A quick glace made her smirk. Yes, his cock was hard and high, the glistening head fully visible now again.  He noticed her gaze and took back control. His eyes dipped to her nipples, which puckered all by themselves, before he allowed them to be teased by the warm caress of the water.

Once again, Lisa drew in her breath. Michael’s eyes left a burning trail the water he supplied did not extinguish.

“Yes…that’s what?” Her own voice was heavy with need.

Michael’s free hand brushed her wet hair from her shoulder, then his fingers traced the outline of her collarbone, down her sternum, between her breasts, to her abs…and lower still.

At the same time, the spray approached the V between her legs. Oh, God, he was definitely killing her.  Suddenly, she felt dizzy.  Water hit her and forced a moan from her throat.

When he grabbed her, she almost jumped as the quick, almost violent motion stunned her.

Her eyes locked to his.  He held her anchored with a force she could not fight.

“That’s pure, unadulterated bullshit, Lise. That pussy is mine. And it’ll stay mine. And you’d do well to not forget that.” His voice was dark, heavy with lust, dangerous…Her very own tarpit,  drawing her in. Struggling, she only sank deeper.

Had he not been dead serious this would almost be funny. Except, laughing was the last thing on her mind right now. Michael reached around, putting the showerhead back on the wall mounting, never breaking eye contact with her. His next move was to grab her neck and pull her towards him in a greedy kiss.  His statement had caused her mouth to be slightly open- she was not sure if that was due to the intense turn-on factor, or surprise. Not losing any time, his tongue found her and dragged against hers.

Don’t, do it, Lisa. Don’t let his macho shit get to you. Don’t give in.

Yeah, her brain sure tried, but her body was on autopilot right now.And it was consumed by a brushfire, fueled by the winds of his actions.

As he deepened the kiss, taking time to engage her, two fingers started to rub her slick, blood filled folds, spreading her honey, making her whimper against his mouth.

Could he not have mercy on her? Just this once?  Did he always have to prove, over and over, that her defenses were as useless as lungs under water? 

The dizzying sensation intensified.  As if driven by a life of their own, her hands came up to rest on his shoulders.  He was still kissing her, and while she was not displaying any noticeable resistance, she was not kissing him back.

“Kiss me, Lisa.  I love you, I love you, girl…C’mon…” His addictive whispers in between kisses were her siren call- steering her straight toward the deadly cliffs.

Finally, she could not help herself any longer.  Pure reflex took over and she accepted the unavoidable. She kissed him back, her tongue delighting at having been set fee.  As a reward, his finger stroked her clit, then circled her opening, entering her, forcing more sighs and moans, which he swallowed greedily.

When the water stopped raining down on her, she didn’t notice at first.  Did he turn the water off? He stilled the movement of his hand, then his kiss. Lisa’s eyes opened, the light assaulting her eyes. What in the world?

“There! – All clean.”

Michael smacked her behind, stepped out of the shower, and handed her a towel, which she accepted, still in a daze.

What the fuck was this? He wrapped himself in the other towel, and started to stride toward the bedroom, turning, dazzling her with the most blinding smile.  His eyes were still dark and shot sparks at her, belying his cool, unaffected demeanor. That shithead! Was everything a game to him?  Everything a power struggle he had to win?

“What the hell? Michael…?”

“Love is a feeling…” She heard him singing from inside the bedroom.

Oh, no! He was not walking away from her, after basically declaring he owned her. 

Especially not, after getting her all hot, then acting like it was all some silly part of his one-man show. 

Lisa? Weren’t you just asking to get away?  Seems like this is your chance. Why don’t you simply put on your clothes, gather up whatever is left of your pride, and run for the hills?

“Give it when I want it…”

Fucking hell!

“Michael!  We are fucking not done. Who the hell do you think you are?  If you think I’m yours to play with – that any part of me belongs to you in any way you…you…”

She had marched into the bedroom, dripping, leaving a trail behind her.  He was going to understand. She was not his toy. She had feelings. And she was tired of feeling as if she was a rag he could wring out and toss away whenever it suited him.

Michael grabbed her from behind the door, using the momentum of her entry to sweep her into his arms, causing her to lose her towel in the process.  She was such a dumb shit! How had she not seen the trap?

“What? I’d be right? Cause you sure see to be dropping your panties around me, girl. And towels, too.” His smile was as deadly a weapon as his lust laden voice.

“Let me the fuck go!” She stiffened and struggled, forcing him to tighten his hold, taking her breath as his skin collided with hers.  Water and electricity- perfect conduction. Total absence of insulation.

“I ain’t letting you go. And you’re right. We’re not done. We’ll never be done. I told you that already.”  His breath was coming in gasps from the effort to hold her still. She noticed him looking around for something.

“But we are done- You are married, you asshole! You married the fucking incubator!”

“So, you were married to a useless waste of space-you had kids with him. What’s the difference?”

Michael found what he was looking for and took her squirming body over to the large desk in the bedroom. In one sweeping motion he cleared it from all clutter, sending papers, pens, and all other clutter flying.

“Put me the fuck down, you moron. The difference is I divorced him.”

Michael placed her on the table in a not very gentle manner, stunning her temporarily.  Predictably, the spark ignited by anger, pain, and indignation combined with her intense arousal, setting fuse to the internal atomic reaction which could only be contained in one way. 

“There- you are down. Happy?- And so what? You strung me along before you divorced him- for way too long. Plus- I’m gonna divorce her.”

He was towering over her partially reclined body.  His hands gripped her thighs and parted them, stepping between them. Lisa stared at him, licking her lips.  His penis was throbbing- and before she knew what the hell was going on, she grabbed hold of him, tugging on him with enough force to make him close his eyes, and force a “fucking shit” from between clenched teeth.She knew full well it drove him crazy when she became aggressive like this.

“You gonna divorce her?”  Her voice was coated in pure lust now- rendering her tone hoarse and deep.

“Yeah..” His hands cupped her ass and brought her closer to the edge of the table, opening her up to his hot perusal. She dipped back further, leaning on an elbow, her free hand pumping him with a firm grip.  He was huge already. Her small hand could not fully encompass his impressive girth.

This was madness. They were like two children who could simply not be left unattended with the cookie jar.

“When, Michael? If you expect me to wait, you better godamn tell me when.”

Her legs now wrapped around him, pulling him closer, forcing him to her.

“You better belief I expect you to wait. I ain’t playin’ Lise- you’re mine…”

His fingers spread her open to him.  He moved his hips, and even though she held him, it brought him toward her, his tip hitting her dripping opening.  God- the brief contact caused her bottom to come off the table.  She used her own juices combined with his precum to rub over the smooth head, making him shudder.  He was so glorious in his arousal.  How could she ever be expected to live without him?  How could he ever believe anyone could take his place?  One hand grabbed her breast, pinching and rubbing her nipples, as he bent forward, kissing her.

“Michael…”

“That’s right baby…” Two fingers traced her pouting labia, then flicked the pulsing pearl.

Lisa kissed him back, while starting to incorporate a screwing motion on him, using her other hand to cup and fondle his tightening balls, tugging at them, delighting in his moan.

“Shit...Lise...Keep saying my name…” He entered her with two fingers and she yelped and moaned against him.  His thumb used her dripping juices to rub over her clit in little circles, varying the pressure he used while finding her internal spot, intensifying the tingling and causing her to tighten against him. Her pelvis was gyrating against his hand.  It was too late to even think about escape now.  Ok, this one last time, then.  One more trip into the sun. 

“You’re getting so tight baby.  How ‘bout you cum for me… I wanna fuck that tight cunt right after you cum- I wanna feel you tight and soft when I fuck you till you see stars, till you forget there are any other men in this universe…”

“Fuck, Michael…Oh God…baby…shit…”

“That’s my girl…Come on…let go…Open those eyes, I wanna see that light.”

The kiss continued as their eyes locked.  He entered her with another finger, intensifying the pressure on her clit.  That was it, she could not hold back any longer, still pumping him, she flew apart. The most intense wave grabbed her as her ass came off the table, one convulsion after the other forcing his name from her lips, her love moaned over and over into his waiting mouth.

While she was still convulsing, he withdrew, stilled her hand and took control of his own penis, which by now was twitching with need.  He rubbed the engorged head across her, causing her to cry out again. Entering her in one swift motion, his eyes closed, and Lisa whimpered against him. He was huge and it felt as if he was filling her completely. Glancing down, she saw he had given her his complete length yet. Oh shit…

“Shit, baby girl. You are so hot…so wet…I feel you still pulsing against me…”

"Fuck me..."

Her legs wrapped around his waist as he pulled her closer to him.  He pulled back slightly, lifted her and surged forward, hitting her cervix. Another scream was forced from her as she again started to feel the spiral tighten.

“Fuck…you better hold on, girl…I can’t…” He started to move and his thrust and jabs were driven and forceful, claiming every inch of her, making her moan and cry out again.

Lisa was on her back now, sweat making her slide along the polished surface, so her hands held the edge, using the leverage to meet his assault.  Every time he  drilled into her, the base of his throbbing cock hit her clit, and she knew she’d cum again in no time.

“Michael…oh fuck…God…so good…shit….”

“You like that girl? Well, you better know that no one…” He grabed one leg and turned her lower body sideways.

“Will ever…..” She saw him looking down at her, watching himself fuck her hard.

“Love you like I can…ever…”

Sadly, even lost and hanging at the edge of the rainbow, she knew he was one hundred percent correct.

Michael….fuck!”   The explosion came with more force than before. She had no clue if it was the build-up in the shower or his sexual attempt of marking her his- but his forcefulness drove her crazy.

“That’s my girl.  Good girl. Gosh, you’re killing me, Lise.  So fucking tight….ah…God…” His eyes squeezed shut and he bit his lip.

Still convulsing around him, lost in another universe of pleasure, Lisa opened her eyes and watched his attempt to maintain control.

“I love you so much, Mike…so…fucking much…Let go baby…give it to me…c’mon…cum for me…I wanna feel you warm me…let go…”

A growl worked from deep in his throat and he pulled back one more time, then seemed to feeze, before slamming her body into him over and over, sweat dripping from his forehead.

“Shiiiiiiit! Holy….oh fuck, fuck….Lise….” He shuddered against her, and she felt the hot ejaculation jettison into her, flooding her, as he pumped on and on for several seconds. His face seemed lit by an internal flame, and his expression was a mixture of pain and exultation.  Watching him, feeling him jump and distend further, feeling his base hit her taxed clit again, send her straight into one more climax, her sobs and moans mixing with his.

It seemed to take them forever to ride the full extent of the intense orgasms. Every time she thought she was done, Michael spasmned inside her walls, causing an aftershock to ripple through her.  At some point, he pulled her up and against him, cradling her.

“Hold on, baby…”

She wrapped her arms around him and he picked her up, still connected to her, making her cry out again.  The movement caused his cum to drip from her.

“Baby- I’m drippin’ out. Sorry- guess I gotta wash you again.”

Lisa had to laugh, causing him to flinch, as he sat down on the bed. “Ouch- don’t move, don’t do that. I think my penis is nothing but nerves now…I feel your breathing…your heartbeat…”

“You could take it out, you know…” She snuggled against him, not willing to let him go yet.

“Naw…” He reclined, pulling her against him. He rubbed her back lovingly, kissing her cheek and forehead every now and so often, while she placed little kisses on his chest and neck, tasting him, licking him...

Here she was. Safe in her cocoon again.  Wrapped in his love. 

She closed her eyes. Inhaled him.  Listened to his heartbeat.

Listening to the lies she told herself: That she could do this. That their love would conquer all. That his marriage was a simple, temporary inconvenience. That in the end, they would ride off into the sunset.  True love conquering all.

She felt the tears before the sadness tore at her.

She knew the truth before understanding drowned her.

One of them had to do it.  And it seemed, he was simply not willing to open his eyes. This was painful- to both of them.  Prolonging what had to be done was cruel. 

She lifted up and caused him to slip from her body.

“Hey!”  His protest almost softened her resolve. He looked so cute- drowsy and soft- happy…

Of course he was happy. He had his way. He just showed you that he owned you,and now he will mosey off to show off his wife and baby-momma to the world.

Good, she could deal with the bitterness better than with the love.

“Michael, there is something you have to know…I should have told you earlier…but…”

She got up and wrapped herself into the towel she had lost earlier.

“Lisa…come on…can’t we stay like this a little while longer?”

“No, we can’t..we…”

“Lisa, Lisa! We can do anything we want. We are one- don’t you get it? Together we can do this. All we have to do is…”

No! Why was he looking at her with such hope?  Such love? Her resolve slipped slightly. Maybe he was right after all. He was Michael. He could do anything. He…

The phone rang.

“Shit” He looked over at the phone, torn.

“What, Michael? All we have to do is what?”

“Shit- Lisa. I better get this...sorry.”

Of course. He had things to do, after all. People to impress. A wife to show off…

“Yes?...”  He turned his back to her.  His voice was controlled, but conveyed his annoyance.

Lisa reached for her clothes and started to get dressed.  The distracting tear was wiped away with determination.  This was for the best. He had to go. He had a life to get back to. As did she. A life full of regrets and darkness.  Her just desert.

“I got sidetracked by some business… I told you I’ll be there in a bit.”

That was it- she was business. Business he thought to be checked off.  Filed for later use.

“Yes, I am getting ready now. No- no, really, don’t bother. I do not need you to come pick  me up.”

Obviously the little woman. Lovely.  Must suck though, to constantly have to check up on your husband.  Knowing his ex was spending time with him.

“Debbie- make sure you are ready- I will have Carlos get you in ten minutes. I’ll meet you in the limo. … No, I did not forget that we have to meet them for dinner…”

Oh great- he had dinner plans as well.  Well, she was going to make this easy for him.  Lisa pulled on her jeans and her shirt.

“Yes, ah…same here…” He hung up.

 Was that his assurance that he loved the blond piranha.

Nice punch in the gut.  Pain rippled through her in dull shockwaves.

Finally, he turned toward her, his face flushed.

“Why are you dressed?”

“Why are you not? You gotta go- ten minutes won’t give you a lot of time.”

“Ten don’t mean ten, really. She can wait.”

Mechanically, Lisa started to gather up her things as Michael watched her.

“Will you be here later?”

No, Michael. I will fix it so you’ll be only too happy to be rid of me. The band-aid has to come off. Now. In one swoop.

“If you want me to after you hear what I gotta tell you.”

“Why would I not want you, silly?” He marched toward her and started to kiss her.

Lisa turned her head.

Michael squinted his eyes in question. She saw the flash of pain.  He so hated to feel rejected.  Well, too bad. In a moment he'd be happy to reject her.

I’m so sorry. But this is for the best. For both of us. We can’t go on tethered to this anchor of our love as it cascades down into the abyss.

“Michael- this is hard, but if we wanna have a chance, I gotta tell you something.”

She knew full well there would be no chance. 

“I’m not gonna like this, will I?”

“No, you more than likely won’t. But if I learned anything it is that we shouldn’t have any lies between us.”

“Shit- maybe you should just tell me later. You’re right. I do have to be get ready.”

He turned and started to walk back into the bathroom. The king of denial.

Yes, she knew he hated bad news. Kind of like she had hated being told his nurse was carrying his baby.

However, this was not about retaliation. This was about their respective freedom.

“Michael. After we signed the papers…I…I…I was devastated and alone…I..”

He stopped, his back toward her. She saw his muscles tightening.

“Lisa- please don’t. Look, we can talk later, ‘kay?”

His voice sounded choked.  He knew. 

“No, Michael.  I ain’t making excuses.  I, was free- we were over for all I knew. And I felt like dying. I went over to Danny’s and…”

He reached for the door frame, steadying himself. 

“And…” His voice was a whisper.

She took a huge breath.  Now or never. The blade was sharpened. The head was on the block. 

“I slept with him. I don’t know how it happened- and saying I was drunk is a cop out- even though it’s true. But I had to tell you.  You had to know.”

Otherwise, you would never let me go. Not now.

Not when I made the mistake to come out here.

I was so weak. I love you so much. I am so sorry, Michael.

His head dropped onto his chest, before he straightened once more. A muscle in his shoulder twitched. Lisa took a step toward him.

“Michael, say something.”

Ever so slowly, he turned his head toward her.  His jaw was set, a vein in his temple was pulsing. And his dead eyes scared the shit out of her.   

“I gotta get ready, Lisa Marie. I have to meet my wife. You can see yourself out.”

And with that drop of the guillotine her heart was sliced in two in one clean cut as the gates to paradise were slammed shut.

(to be continued) 

 

©2012 Erika B Michaels. All Rights Reserved. This story is a work of fiction. Any names, places, and other identifying features are used in a fictional manner, for entertainment purposes only, and are in no way representative of actual events. This work may not be reproduced, copied, transmitted, or stored without expressed written permission by Erika B Michaels. All photos and images, mentioned songs or song titles are copyright their creators. ABSOLUTELY no disrespect is intended to any persons portrayed in this work.