The Difference-Chapter 34

34

(Thank you for reading and commenting! After this, there will be one more chapter. Sorry for any typos in advance, I am trying to post tonight, so I might have missed some.I will correct as I catch them later. :) - E)

 

 

That’s why he loved movies. The wonder of watching emotions and stories unfold. And observing Lisa’s face was just like being wrapped up in the storyline of a classic silent flick. No words- yet the whole story playing right there on the character’s face- in her eyes.  The blue silver screen before him revealed it all. Mercury and nitroglycerine. It was thrilling- and intimidating as hell.

For one horrible second he feared the final scene would consist of her pulling away in horror. The monster was close- the heroine would fall victim to the ravenous hunger of the villain any minute now. The behemoths driving him: his ravenous desire for love battling the lust for recognition.  Talk about lust blinding the passion of the soul…Once he had sacrificed his human love, the other half of his soul to the altar of his music. Lisa, as much as he had adored having her as his wife, had started to be the source of anger, of confusion, of constant emotional turmoil. She had demanded the impossible: his time, his support, his attention. Why was it so difficult – no, impossible- for her to be contented with his love?

Wasn’t that how all great romances ended? The blissful couple walked into the sunset, holding hands. The door of their happy home closed behind them- leaving the audience in the belief that from now on it would be nothing but perpetual paradise. How stupid and ignorant to see himself as the author, the main protagonist, and the audience in his own love story.

The door had closed behind them, alright. Someone in his head called, “Cut! It’s a wrap!”  Then what? Of course- he went back to his life as usual.  How different could this thing called marriage be to life as he had always known it? Life on his own terms. The little woman could just be happy she had scored him: the greatest entertainer that ever lived. How fortunate was she- The daughter of one kind, the wife of the other.  Lucky Lisa. When her face and mood didn’t match the prescribed happiness and good fortune he tuned it out to and ascribed it to ‘female’ issues. Her issues. Certainly not his problem.

He felt lucky, too. He had won. She had finally left that loser, had dared to spite her mother, and had proven she wanted to commit. They got married. Finally, he could check that box.  And redirect his energies where they needed to be. On his work. All was safe on the homefront.

Well, Lisa obviously had a slightly different idea of how their marriage should go. A more realistic one.  Slightly more smothering- draining him of the oxygen he derived from creative solitude. One that severely went against his grain and his vision.  Yes, she was a pain in the ass, and yes she should have trusted him. However- how do you trust a husband who thinks compromise is simply something required of others?

Little had he understood about the dynamics of the deconstruction of his marriage that preceded the actual laying of a foundation. They had love- and that had sustained them for a while. Passion also was part of the scaffold. But neither love nor passion could resist the internal parasites of pride, stubborn stupidity, resentment, and miscommunication.  If anything was left- the external toxicity did the rest. They had been doomed.

Sure, fate, or whatever it was had brought them back together. Two lost, blind souls desperately grasping for each other in a virtual vacuum.  He had promised to make things right- she had promised to be understanding and patient.  A new foundation for the new palace was to be lain: too bad its walls consisted of rainbows and silvery clouds and it was built on pretty but deceptive quick sand.

How exhausting it had been to keep all the different aspects of his life self-contained: he was the father, the friend, the lover, the artist, the entertainer… And each sphere was populated by a cast of characters. It was almost like one of those SIM games he liked to play. He could move from zone to zone without the people around him having to interact and make things complicated. Of course- Lisa had been the rogue again. She had attempted to break the walls- to nose into things that were none of her concern.  When he repaired the boundaries by building thicker fortifications, she reacted by lashing out or jumping into new relationships. Which was hurtful- but also gave him ample space to regroup.

After he hurt his back in Munich, things had gotten even trickier. The pain was unimaginable. It became a chronic problem.  Too exhausting to cope with. There was no time for long-term rehabilitation. Again, he lacked the patience- he had to be better right then and there. And he was- as long as his doctors were helpfully supplying chemical relief. Lisa noticed- and started to question him.

That was not going to fly. He didn’t owe her. She had left him. How dare she intrude?  She now had no right to voice her fake concern. They had one more major blow out at his Mom’s house at Thanksgiving. Well, make that she blew up- and he froze  her out.  Ice coating a fireball- starving it of oxygen. Things were never quite the same after that. They shared sex- and not much more. Or so he told himself. Oh, the power of lies we tell ourselves!

When the issue of another child arose, was part of him really ignorant that she was not going to make that commitment? That, in her mind, too many questions had been left unanswered?  An interesting question presented itself: what if she had agreed? What would his out have been then? Because a glance in the rear view mirror showed him in a desperate attempt to ensure he was all alone. Hard to feel sorry for yourself when surrounded by someone who continues to care despite everything you throw at her.

 

“I don’t think you can be lucid enough for even one day to make a baby,-caring for it would be just about impossible. Stop dicking around and face facts!” 

“Maybe if I had another baby, I would have motivation to deal with fact as you call it.”

“Oh, a child as drug treatment. Brilliant, Mike.”

“I don’t take drugs. They are medication. Why the fuck do you have to put me down all the time?”

And so the circus continued.  And the clown fell head first into the dirt.

How many years had he wasted?  All these flashes of brilliant, glaring understanding had not sufficed to guide her back home.  When the super- glued blindfolds had been ripped off his eyes, when he opened up- realized his own part in his stifling loneliness, she had hidden behind the barrage of lies- behind her indifference.  And now- as they both had score cards full of listed fuck-ups, could they agree to burn them and let the ashes fertilize the ground of their future?

Watching her silent, internal struggles playing out to the cacophony  of memories clashing around in his mind, toppling over tender plants of hope, trying to keep the ancient ghosts of self-doubt and guilt at bay, almost made him miss the light. A star rose from the blue depth, giving life to seeming neverending night. There it was- a glimmer at first, then almost blinding him despite the shades of gloom he had donned.

Her luminescence- bright and irradiated with something new. Something old…something indestructible.

“Lisa…?” Her name a question and a prayer on his lips.

The brilliance of the sea on a sparkling morning in January. Her gaze was far off- and then she focused on him, as if she just finally realized he was right there in the room.

A serious, serenity marked her features.  She reached out to him and held his hand. Her fingers felt frozen- or maybe it was his own reaction he was sensitive to.

“Do you love me? Michael, right now, - do you love me?”

It would have been easy to answer that he had just told her he did. To demand she stop asking and stop doubting. Those lines almost tumbled out. Then something in her eyes stuffed them back and the God’s honest truth was the only thing making its way through the messy crowd of unnecessary words.

“Yes.”

Nothing much changed in her face. Except he saw her swallow.

“And what…what does…”

“What that means to me?”

She nodded. Neither was surprised he read her thoughts.

“It means that I cannot imagine us not being together. It means that I want to figure out together who we are.  It’s like I can feel who you are- you are part of me. But I don’t always know or have in the past not always appreciated that other part of you. The external part. Maybe that is what your mother meant by me not being able to deal with the real person. I know your love, I know your heart- but there is so much stuff that confuses me.”

“Lish just said we spent so much time apart- we don’t really know each other. That we have to be patient to learn about all our flaws a gain. And good sides, too.”

“Flaws..?” He smiled. 

“Yeah, I know, it’s hard to believe. I have flaws. And you, let’s just face it, you are just downright weird about some stuff.”

His face scrunched in pretend pain. “Can we agree to just call me mysteriously enigmatic?”

The smile made the skin around her eyes crinkle in such a cute way. How he adored her mischievous grin. “Ah…I think it’s more like weird. Best case scenario, odd.”

“Whatever. I have to be weird to deal with you. Even though you do have smart friends. I think she’s right. We don’t know the every-day Michael and Lisa. But I wanna find out. I wanna hear you bitch because I didn’t take the trash out. And I wanna be able to be mad at you and feel that it’s ok, ‘cause we’re gonna make up a gain. I wanna learn how to fit in with your family and watch as you become more and more part of mine- until it is just us and our family. – Oh, and by your family I mean minus your charming mother.”

“Well, I can do without her, too, believe it or not. I think I stocked up on maternal torture for the next ten years till I need the next booster.”

He giggled, then turned serious again.

“Lise- do you believe me? Do you believe that I love you and that things are different?”

Her hand left his and came to rest on his cheek. “Can’t you tell?

Turning his head, he kissed her hand. “I can now. But earlier you scared the living shit out of me. It scares me when she uses the past. I can’t do nothing about the way I was back then. It’s like it was a different life. It’s like the trial in effect cut my life into two halves.”

“I know. And I get how you feel. I felt that way over and over when you, or I, or both of us, brought up shit from the past. There are so many things I wish I could do over.”

“Would you change the fact that we got married back then?”

How often had he asked himself that question? There was a time when the only way to deal with the pain was to wish his marriage had never happened. That he had never met her. If you never see the sun you never have to deal with sunburn. So what if you live a life of darkness and depression? You wouldn’t know the difference. But nothing seemed crueler than to take a prisoner out to freedom, show him the light of day, the beauty surrounding him, then relinquish him once again to his dungeon.

Lisa moved and came over to his end of the couch, snuggling into his lap. His little cat. Or tigress.  So soft, so fierce, so unpredictable.  How he had feared, admired, and revered her over the years. He adjusted and sat back, holding her, as she rested her head on his shoulders.  Automatically, his hand came to rest on her hair.  The silky feel of the tussled strands was calming and comforting.

“I don’t regret meeting you, falling in love with you, even marrying you. I doubt if it was horribly smart to do it like we did. It’s like we just expected things to fix themselves. Mike- I don’t think I ever felt more alone as I did about six months  after we got married.”

Not knowing what to say, he simply held her. He remembered the chasm between them, growing every day, scaring the shit out of him.  He dealt with it by not dealing. Inaction was action, too. Destructive action. Worse at times than just bombing everything to bits.  And whatever escaped his inaction was annihilated by the blowtorch of her immaturity and anger.

“So, what? We’re gonna take it slow now?”

Somehow her head found a way to snuggle against his skin, his robe falling open now. 

The feeling of her warm cheek against him, the comfort of her breath against his chest…Amazing how all the doubts and anger from earlier had simply dissipated. He had been so mad. Didn’t know how to cope with her question. It had been like a blast of ice to his system. The drive back to Hayvenhurst was torturous. The questions if he had trusted her too quickly battled hurt pride and smothered that small rational voice urging him to hear her out and see what she had meant. Attempts to ignore his annoyance did not work as they so often had in the past. Which was a blessing.  Sure, he had withdrawn, and was so close to just letting her leave. Hands fisted in his pocket he had felt the key to the Hideout he wanted to give her. The cool metal snapping him back to action: catching himself and thus her before too many dominoes pushed the vat of acid onto the tender sapling of their newest attempt to make the relationship work. Why was he still surprised at the change in routine?

Might be, ‘cause you’re actually learning to deal with shit. You were mad and you are working it out. Is that what normal feels like? ‘Cause I sure could get used to it.

“Yeah, I think that would be smart.”

What was that? Miss Smartypants sounded less than certain. Maybe she was not as staunch an advocate of all this talk about ‘taking it slow’ as she professed to be?

“But, Lise- just casual dating is out, ok? We need a commitment. I wanna be done with that damn no stings thing. I want strings. Lots of them.   Gimme a boatload of strings. And no- don’t look at me funny- I don’t mean silly strings.  So, I was thinking more of moving in…getting to know what it is like to be together.”

She moved, looking up at him, then smiled. The shift had made fabric of his shirt she wore to come from under her butt, and it also cause the lower part of his robe to fall away a bit. Skin hit skin…electricity shot  from his leg to his groin.

“So, you just wanna get me all tied up with your strings, hm?” That voice evoked visions of handcuffs and blindfolds. Not what he was talking about, but not a bad idea, either…

No, no, no. This was not happening. No sex-diversion. He would let her have this talk. Have them have this talk. They both needed it. He could ignore part of his body calling him and idiot for not taking the little naked woman in his lap and finishing with actions.

You didn’t have a problem earlier when told her you were done talking. And she didn’t seem to have too much of a problem when actions took over.

Well, yeah, that was not one of his proudest moments. Even though eating her out on the counter had been amazing. She had finally become warm and welcoming. Dripping all over herself. Clutching his head…

Yeah, and you got that chance to show her who owned her.  Body and soul. All her silly doubts were pushed out when your cock filled her.

That ancient cave man part as she had called it was annoying.  He felt guilty for being distracted by visions of Lisa screaming out his name as he held her ass, letting his tongue torture her.  Visions of lifting her off said counter, turning her, spreading her legs, and fucking her so hard she came again within minutes flittered by.  Visions of kissing her, urging her to her knees, making her clean of her juices on him. Of course, the little vixen had managed to side track him and taken the power back, making him cum before he had planned to. Which lead to him taking her to the bedroom, retrieving a small vibrating toy, making her cum again as he played with her, while he took the extra time to recover… Before the next round.

Echoes of her voice, calling out his name over and over…

“Michael!”

He snapped back to her little pout, and her eyes trying to read his thoughts. Thank God she was not that skilled. He would die if she knew. Hadn’t the task been to prove he was serious and had grown up?

Well, you might have to allow that serious talks should only occur fully dressed. That ass against your leg is a tad bit distracting.

Clearing his throat, he raised an eyebrow. “What?- Right here!”

“Ah, no- you were not. And unless you still have snakes around, my guess is you weren’t working on church sermons or speeches about world peace, either.”

The naughty smile could not be used to return snakes to their cages, either. She was so not helping.

“I have no clue what you mean… But maybe we should get dressed.”

Michael! Stop being a frigging idiot!

“Maybe…after all, I just asked you if you still planned to find a place out East. And you seemed…distracted by areas more south.”

What? Last thing he heard was her talking about bondage. Where had his mind gone?  Ok, she was right….south… Ok, he could do this. Serious talk time. Focus, concentrate…

“Um, sorry…Yeah. I think I have some places lined up and I can show you on the computer later to…to…ah…the computer to…rule out…. Lisa!”

Her nimble fingers played with the front of his robe again. One moment, she teased the skin of his chest, then her fingers, with a light caress, slid lower toward the belt. Now who was not being serious? No wonder they could never decide on anything while they were married. If he remembered correctly, that tendency to get side tracked was very much alive back then.

Sexual ADHD.

Lisa laughed lowly, then kissed his chest, creating an impossibly hot path up toward his neck. She spoke in-between pecks and kisses, licks of her tongue, causing him to alternatively shiver and be stung by flames.

“Yes, show me Daddy. And we will decide. Place out East…sounds perfect…hm… so perfect….”

The place out East became a very fuzzy concept when she started to suck and kiss his neck, now turning herself to come to kneel over his lap, her hands still caressing him, while her mouth provided divine stimulation.  The place between her legs suddenly took on supreme importance. Talk about a shift of focus!

But no! He could prove to her that he was a focused, serious adult. Someone to depend on. Someone not just using her as a blow-up doll as she had accused him before.

Great concept, Mike. Then why are your hands running down the fabric of her shirt. You know- that damn shirt, she’s wearing… Without anything else on… As you well know- which might be why your hands are now lifting said shirt, coming to rest on her heavenly ass.  Yeah, you are Mr. Serious, personified.

Just one touch of that soft, warm skin. That’s all he needed. A short break from the serious talk. Oh, yes, she felt so right. The curve so perfect, the skin so smooth.

Yes, skin you felt under your palm when you spanked that ass, hearing her moan and cry out with pleasure…

Focus, man! He managed to do the impossible- he moved his hands from her behind. When her eyes shone up at him- he pulled her head to him, losing himself in a passionate, all-consuming kiss. Yes, this focusing and redirecting thing was coming along wonderfully.

“Lisa…” He panted against her, before kissing her cheeks, her nose, her forehead, then returning to that sinful mouth again.

“Hm…” The moan she fed him didn’t exactly have him shrinking. Quite the opposite.

His penis was now full on hard again. And since she had messed with the modesty of his robe, it was escaping its confines, poking upward toward where it wanted to be.  As magnetic forces would have it, Lisa seemed to be simultaneously guided toward his heat seeking missile and chose this moment to sit back on his lap, grinding her hot, wet pussy into him.

What the heck was her problem? Did she not see how hard it was?

One would think she was feeling that just about now…With her ass writhing on you, spreading her juices, making you all slippery and shit…

No! Bad choice of thoughts….how difficult it was to stay on track.

Mike, you always knew baby girl has a one track mind when it comes to sex.

Ok, he was going to give this one more try. If it didn’t work, he could be totally absolved of all guilt. He was only human after all. 

“Lise- we’re not done…You gotta let us finish.”

The blue eyes opened under sexy heavy lids and she smirked at him. “Oh, I plan on having us finish, Daddy.”

“I mean…that was not…Gosh…Lise…you drive me crazy. I’m trying real’ hard here…to…you know….talk…”

“Yeah, real hard…” Another gyrating motion, accompanied by a naughty, dirty wink. Holy shit!  If she didn’t stop this nonsense he would finish right then and there. And consequences be damned… Which made him remember the topic she had not brought up, but he knew had bothered her.

“You know what a wise man said to me earlier, Mikey: I don’t wanna talk. I wanna fuck. And you know I’m quick to pick up those pearls of useful wisdoms…So how ‘bout it, big boy? Wanna fuck me one more time tonight? We can talk during the next break.”

Was this a trick question? The Motrin had made his back better, so sure, why not… What was a bit of dehydration and the prospect to being sore as all get-out compared to the promise of heaven in her arms?

Who was he to turn the lady down? It would be so darn rude!

And she was correct: those were his words of wisdom. Before he pleasured her. Before he reached over and pulled a condom on. Which was what he wanted to talk about. He had noticed the confusion in her eyes. The slight hesitation. The question. And maybe, if he wasn’t mistaken, also a small measure of hurt.

If he went bareback now, she’d think he had indeed fucked her out of anger and used the condom in some kind of attempt to withhold himself from her. When really, the motive was so much different.

“What? Spit it out, Michael.” Her eyes held him to her like a vice. This woman was amazing. She knew him so well- could sense that he really had something else to say.

“There’s something I gotta explain before we do it. You gotta know…”

Lisa stilled and looked down, biting her lip. “The protection issue?  Yeah…I guess…we gotta talk about that. That was…um…unexpected. And odd.”

“It’s not that I did it out of anger…”

“Hey, you don’t have to explain, Mike. You don’t wanna risk it. You don’t trust me. I get it. I fucked up and I questioned you. What kind of woman does that? Not one you wanna risk having babies with, right? Even if she is probably never gonna be able to…to…”

Despite the ‘I get it and am not hurt’ attitude her eyes watered and she averted her gaze, getting ready to get up from her prime spot.

Without thinking, his hands already had closed around her waist, keeping her in place.  “You keep that hot little ass right here, lady. I knew it! I knew that’s why you thought I anger fucked you. You thought I was doing it to punish you!  Like withholding sperm is some sort of revenge or something.”

“Weren’t you? I mean. We didn’t use anything since that night in New York. And you really were pissed then.”

“I also didn’t have time to think then. And you might not have stayed in place had I informed you I was gonna run out real quick and find a drug store. And asking the other guest would have been so tacky.”

It warmed his heart that she couldn’t suppress a small laugh.  “Maybe Julia had some in her purse.  I’m sure she hoped to get lucky later.”

Rolling his eyes, he turned her face toward him. She was not about to escape. She would look at him and hear him out. And if she was real good, he’d even punish her a bit later for always thinking the worst.

“I did it because of stuff your Mom said.”

“My Mom made you wear a condom?”

He cringed. “That sounds all kinds of wrong, Lise.”

Lisa hit him playfully. “Ewe- cut it out. Don’t even play.”

“No, your Mom didn’t make me do it. What’s wrong with wearing a rubber, anyway? Isn’t that what responsible adults do?”

“What? You suddenly read that in ‘Growing up for Dummies’?-  Yes, responsible adults do that, Mike. But for some reason, we just never did. Or not always anyway.  Not when we were…committed…and secure…” She blushed.

No, only when she was sleeping with men with odd names and he was sleeping with women whose names he could not remember.  How could he have any memories like that? You have to assign importance to facts your brain encodes as memories. And Lisa’s name was the only one on his heart- nobody else had a chance to be of significance.

“Well…now I am committed. But I don’t want you to think…you know…what you thought before. That I use you for having babies. That I want a Presley child to go with the Presley songs I own.”

The both probably flashed back to very ugly, very destructive argument.  Amazing how so much shit came flying out of that bag of tricks called a common past. But manure was used for good harvests, too. All about how you used it.

“Say what? I don’t think I’m tracking.”

“She said today that I would just fall back into the past. That I would hurt you. That I never wanted you, Lisa. Only Lisa Marie Presley. This was not the first time this has come up. She said it to me before, she said it to you, hell, she said it to Oprah. That I only used you to have babies. I mean, what else could she accuse me of? I don’t need your money. I don’t need your name.  I am free of charges- knock on wood.  But I will always want your eggs. Like you are my very own brood hen or something. Did she never get how insulting that was to you?”

Lisa blinked. Her eyes were dead serious now. Clear, blue reflecting pools.

“I thought at one point that was what you wanted. That I was your incubator with desirable genes. But then you chose…Debbie…   I mean, what was so special about being a Rowe? You said you chose her because she was nice and kind- something you didn’t always think I was…”

Well, that and the fact that Debbie offered and it seemed the uncomplicated choice. Little had he known what was to come.

“Lisa, baby. I wanted a baby with you, you know that. You know…”

For a second, the pain of what they almost had forced both their eyes shut.  As if there was an escape from the image burned into their retinas and their souls. Opening his first, he saw the loss etched into every little line of her face. A single tear watered the grave of their angel. He pulled her close, kissing her gently now, rocking her. They sat in silence for a small eternity- until the  small measure of comfort was wrapped about the eternal bleeding wound.

“So, anyway.” She tilted her head bravely, sniffling, as he captured another shining pearl. What he wouldn’t give to heal that never-ending sorrow. And if he had the remedy, he would apply it to her soul before indulging himself. 

“You used a rubber to not make me think you were using me as a baby factory?” Her head tilted, she seemed to sample the morsel of truth he had provided her.

“I used more than one thank you very much…” His huffy tone brought that little smile right back.

There you go, I got’cha, baby-girl.

“Sorry, super stud. Your ultimate loving powers must have made me black out.”

“My ass…”

“It could have been that fine ass. It is delicious…” She was silly again. Good.

“But yeah. That’s what I did. I wanted to make you see, I respect your choice not to have kids. I support it if that’s what you want. I don’t want to just trick you into being with me in order to create another baby. Even though we’d make one heck of a talented, good-looking kid.”

“Mike- they said I’d probably can’t have any anyway…so basically, it’s a moot point. But I do get what you’re saying. And wow- I was totally not expecting that.  That got me pretty much floored.”

The flash of regret flittering like a ghost over her features was not totally lost on him.

“Am I off the hook then?”

“For what?”

“For what? For being accused of revenge fucking or anger fucking or whatever you called it.”

“Well, it was pretty angry- but, yeah, I guess I can forgive you. Because you know, it was totally hot, and sexy, and wild…” She started to kiss his shoulder again, biting him, kissing him, marking him hers. As if there really was a need for that. Not that he wanted her to stop or anything.

His hand fisted in her hair and he pulled her back slightly, making her yelp, before he attacked her neck.

“It’s you. You bring out that beast in me. You always have.”

“Well, show me what you got then, oh beastly one.” Bathing him in a sly smile and dark blue hue of her eyes, her fingers slowly undid button after button on the shirt. With each widening of the red V, each extra glimpse of her creamy skin his mouth watered while his throat felt dry and constricted.  Her gorgeous breasts became visible. With fascination and rapture he observed the subtle, almost imperceptible crinkling and tightening of her nipples.  Again like a movie effect, like morphing: you didn’t see how it happened until you were confronted with the transformation.  She ran her fingers up and down the edges of the shirt, pushing it all the way open. Hypnotized he followed the motion as her fingers ran softly over her soft curls covering her sex. 

On the next upward movement, she pushed the shirt off her shoulders, then threw it from her. Their eyes connected. Twisting over, he took her with him as he maneuvered himself into a position to recline- aided by Lisa pushing him backwards.  She followed his body and he grabbed her head, kissing her, devouring her, wrestling her tongue into submission.  One hand resting on her waist, the other found the swell of her breasts, which touched his own hot skin, branding him with every teasing contact, sending stinging sparks through him. Sensations became chase frequencies of firebombs going off all over his neural networks.

He swallowed her moan and let her taste be his only required nourishment. Lisa’s fingers splayed over his chest, and just when he found her nipple to tease and torture, she reciprocated the motion.  Both of them inhaled sharply and their moans filled the room.

“You’re over-dressed, buster.” Her hands travelled down to the by now slightly useless, but nonetheless confining belt of the robe.  Somehow she accidentally (if he believed in such accidents) brushed against his penis, making him sigh and jerk against her before he decided to use both hands to weigh and tease her breasts, feeling the diamond tips dig into his palms.

“Oh, baby, you drive me crazy.” Lisa moaned the minute before she leaned down, her mouth capturing one nipple, sucking it into the heavenly heat, using her tongue to make it grow, to flick it, then bite him, forcing a small yelp from his mouth.

“You little cat! Watch it…”

“What? Can dish it out, but can’t take it?”

People who say your dick can’t  grow from the tone of woman’s voice and an evil glint in her eyes had not met the little temptress above him.

“We’ll see who can’t take it…” He pulled her breast toward him slightly, and she happily obliged, allowing him to feed on her nipple until she squirmed and sighed. In a revenge move – unless it was a reward- she reached between them and started to stroke his penis, pulling back his foreskin, exposing the ultra-sensitive tip of his cock to the air before sheltering it with her thumb, rubbing it.

Switching it up, he relinquished her one breast, only to reach for its twin, making sure he laved and bathed the other nipple into the pointed little hub of pleasure, watching her squirm a little more, feeling her juices starting to coat his thigh. Somehow, his free hand had traveled down her back, making sure to knead and massage her before landing on that amazing ass once again.  Ever so lightly, he journeyed  over the perfect, hot globe until he arrived at the cleft. Lisa lifted herself ever so slightly, coming up on her knees over him now, rendering her on hands and knees, disconnected from his body, but granting him access should he want to assuage the fever of her molten core.

Just like she had thrilled him with a seemingly casual and fake fortuitous touch earlier, he allowed the slightest contact with his index finger as it travelled between her cheeks. Michael sensed her inhaled breath and chuckled at the frozen stillness of her body as she anticipated him dipping into the pleasure well. Too bad, it was too much fun to tease her!

“Touch me, come on babe.  I wanna feel you touch me…” The raspy whisper hung in the air like a honey drop; sweet, dark, tempting.

Letting go of her breast, he stared at her as he travelled along the swollen labia, spread her juices, taking them along for the ride, then circled her sensitive, rippled opening, lingering, letting the moment sizzle, before pulling back. Her eyes narrowed as he raised an eyebrow at her.

“Please…” Her voice was dark, smooth velvet, matching the midnight blue expression of her eyes.

“Not yet…” Spreading her juices, he traced back upwards, hitting her puckered other opening, making her jump and swallow hard. Oh yeah, his baby girl was just as hot and perverted as she has always been.  The knowledge that she was all his- now and forever, caused him to go so painfully erect, he doubted he could keep up the little game. He repeated similar treatment with his other hand, again, coming close to entering paradise. This time, he traced the lines all the way back up her neck, her cheeks, then her pouting little mouth.  As their eyes stayed connected, her tongue darted out, licking herself off his finger, making him almost cum as he was forced to watch her re-enact how she had blown him earlier. Ok, so much for someone turning the tables.

Battling for control, the thought gave him an idea. Michael urged Lisa to sit back up. Using the second to play with her breasts while she once again reached for his burning erection, then further down to rub his balls, almost causing him to pass out again, he struggled to find his voice.

“Turn around, Princess.” She bent forward one more time, stealing his breath with her feverish kiss, before being the obedient girl he loved, she  came to sit on him, straddling him, but this time facing away. 

“Stop squirming, you gonna get make me to lose it…”

“Serves you right if you don’t give me that huge cock of yours. I’m dying to have you give it to me good, Daddy.”

Oh, he would definitely oblige the lady, but he aimed to quench his thirst for her first.

Grabbing her at the waist, he pulled back, rendering once more on all fours. Only this time, that pink, pouting cunt was right there for the taking, making his mouth water.

“There you go. I want that pretty pussy right there on my face. And if you’re extra good, I let you taste my dick while I eat that hot sweetness.”

The rough pull toward him forced Lisa to emit a small moan before she reached for him. Just when his tongue started to lick a path along the pillowed folds to her clenching opening, he felt her grab him hard.  Holding him like in a vice, she pumped him, then teased him with the tip of her tongue, while her hair tickled his groin and balls.

Oh boy! This might not last too long. She felt so amazing. His moan against her sex reverberated through her and resulted in her taking as much of him in her mouth as she could. Automatically, his hip shot up, meeting her, hitting her throat. Simultaneously, his tongue darted deeply into her love canal, while he used his hands to spread her open to him, kneading her ass cheeks once again. Lisa cried out, moaned, sighed, twisted- and every noise and movement drove him closer to the brink, as his body became this conduit for light and sensations of heat and chills chasing each other like bubbles in a neon lit transparent cable. 

Using his tongue to fuck her, darting into her, caressing her internal walls, finding that hidden internal spot while flicking her clit on every exit, he had her trembling in no time at all. Once again, he used her juices to lubricate her forbidden entry and forced a muffled scream from her.  With his tongue inside her, he carefully inserted his slippery finger ever so slightly, causing her freeze and moan, and causing his penis to grow so hard he thought he would come apart. Her muscles, both inside and outside started to flutter and her inner temperature approached the dangerous melt down zone. He prayed she was going to climax before he lost it, feeding her his cum before he was ready.

For a second he wondered if she would bite the shit out of him, but then he decided to take the risk as he sent her over the edge, sucking on her clit hard, while finally allowing first two, then three fingers to fill her and pump into her pussy while keeping the other digit in play as well. Lisa started to scream against him, her mouth clamping down dangerously on his penis. At the last minute, convulsing around him, flooding his mouth while he greedily drank from her, she relinquished him, saving him from both losing his cock and from what he deemed to be a premature ejaculation, as she screamed his name.

“Fucking hell…Michael…Oh God…fuck….shit…you’re killing me….oh God….” The screams turned into moans and cries while he held her ass to him, stroking her slower now, letting her ride out her orgasm.

Lisa, kissed and suckled him once more, letting his penis exit with a blopping sound, then raised herself and turned again. Sinking onto his chest, he held her to him for a second, rubbing her back.

“Ready to finish, Mike?” Beneath a curtain of hair, her sparkling eyes found him.

“Oh yeah, the rides’ not over, Princess. Get your pretty ass right here and take it all.  Time for you to work it, lady.”

Shit- decision time. He was well aware that the responsible adults he cited earlier would now reach out for some kind of protection. Lisa seemed to feel his hesitation and lifted herself up ever so slowly. She looked over to the nightstand where the box he used earlier sat.

“I’ll get it. Hold on- don’t you dare to go anywhere.”

“You wanna put it on for me?”

Why did this suddenly feel as if he was getting ready for his first array into sexuality?

“If you want to. But you don’t have to…you know…use it.”

What was she saying? Dared he to hope?

“You sure you wanna take the risk?”

“Well, it might not be an issue. And if it is…maybe…it’s meant to be. I mean, if that’s what you want. I don’t wanna trap you.”

Well, nice- so neither wanted to trap the other. Now if they could return to business before he exploded or passed out from blood loss he would really appreciate it. Really, the internal sarcasm was just insurance against the blinding flash of hope.  Resurrection was such a double edged sword. Once we regain what we thought forever lost we might never, ever want to relinquish it. Was the potential to get ripped to shreds too great? Did it outweigh the possibility of the ultimate treasure? Not even close in his mind!

“Yeah- well, if we both agree we’re not doing any trapping and manipulating…I think I wanna get going then.  Before…”

Lisa grabbed him, and pumped him again, raising herself up, using his head as some kind of toy, causing him to shiver against the electric ants racing around under his skin, converging in his balls.

“Before…”

“Before I waste a perfectly good cum outside you.”

“Well, we gotta conserve these amazing natural resources.”

“Conserve away…”

Lisa winked at him with a naughty grin, then bit on her lip as she applied downward pressure, obviously intending to torture him into oblivion. Well, the feel of her heat directly on him, the slippery satin of her juice coated opening…all of the sensations knowing she was ready to possibly connect them in ways beyond body and soul…all those things were not conducive to slow patience.

Grabbing her waist, while thrusting up hard into her, he snarled, “Oh no, you don’t. I wanna fuck that tight hooch right here and now.”

Lisa chuckled, sending more jolts of pure pleasure through him. “Reading your dirty language thesaurus again?”

“Wanna fuck or wanna talk? You better show me some action, girl, before I think I got you too tired.”

Deeply connected, he ground into her, swiveling his hips, knowing he hit her clit and her g-spot at the same time before he perceived the confirming moan and clamping around him. He felt the sweat trickling down his neck now. This woman would one day be the death of him. But hey, what better way to go?

Finally picking up the challenge, Lisa started to ride him properly. There was nothing that could ever compare to making love to her. Fire and ice, light and darkness, heaven and hell, all consisting in those mind-shattering moments where he left the confines of his body and soared through incandescent, glorious stratospheres toward a goal so sacred and illusive it could not be described by human thoughts or words. The moans and sighs became atoms in the fabric of the eternal, universal music always surrounding him.  Every movement, every thrust, ever shiver were steps and sequences in the sacred dance of life and love.

Lisa bent forward to kiss him, his hands capturing her hair, so he could watch her eyes bathe him in veneration and passion. Her kisses baptized him with the belief that this time it was eternal. Not because they were entering the happy ending, but because they launched into the challenge of a new beginning.

When she bent backwards, her hands bracing on his thighs, changing the angle, forcing him to call out her name while catching his breath, his hands cupped her behind again, spreading her, lifting her, angling her so every downward thrust would stimulate her clitoris as he knew his jumping, throbbing erection caressed and challenged her insides.

“Fucking hell…you better be close, woman…”

Whimpering, Lisa reached down and started to play with her clit, and within seconds he felt her tightening, almost blinding him, while once again, curses, words of love, and his name erupted in time with her convulsions and gyrations, sending him off into the place where the drumline of his blood, the lyrics of her name, and the music of his moans slashed across the canvas being sprayed with luminescent rays of light. The electric spasms forced his hot ejaculation to propel into her over and over, sending her off into another climax before she weakly fell against him.

He must have drifted off for a minute or two. The chill of his evaporating sweat brought him back to his senses. Not even Lisa’s body limply covering him could distract from really wanting to be across the room now, in their bed. His bed. No, their bed- for now. Until they found a new home. A home fit for their new beginning and their new family.

“Baby…?”

“Hm…” Lisa sounded more than out of it.

“Let’s move over to the bed, ‘kay?”

“You’re an optimist. I can’t move. You paralyzed me.”

“Well, your weight on me is paralyzing me.  And I’m cold.”

With effort, she lifted her head. How he loved that sated, exhausted, and deeply satisfied expression under the heavy lids.

“You’re a whiner.”

“So? You love me anyway. You said so. And you very vocally confirmed it just a few moments ago.”

“Don’t brag.”

He giggled. “I don’t need to brag. You just said you can’t move.”

She huffed, and lifted herself up. Standing up, she cringed. “Yep, fuck, I feel like butter. And there is that stupid disadvantage to not using a condom.”

Macho price made him smile at her broadly before he got up, grabbing her, lifting her into his arms.

“I’ll give you a bath later, promise. I think we should just leave well enough alone. Just incase…you know…”

“I know, w’re preserving swimmers.”

He laughed out loud, then turned and started for the bed.

“Hey! You’re back- you better watch it.”

“It’s ok. You’re little. Plus, I think you just lost ten pounds.”

“You are an amazing exercise program. We’ll keep that between us though, ok?”

Laughing, Michael deposited her on the bed, then crawled in next to her, pulling the covers over them.  He pulled her close and Lisa snuggled into him.  Yeah, he had no plans of sharing her or his body ever again. Those strings he had talked about were of the titanium, indestructible kind.

Just when he was about to drift off, being pulled into sleep as her scent and the feeling of her against him lulled him to another plane of conscienceless, her sleepy voice once again.

“I love you. And I promise you Mike, with all that is sacred to me, that your love and the fact that I love you are all that will ever matter.  I don’t care what crappy baggage other people wanna dump on me. From here on out, it’s just us, ‘kay?”

His arm tightened over her, and he kissed her hair.

“I love you more, Lise. And yeah, just us: you and me and the kids. Forever. Infinity.”

“If you say ‘and beyond” I will kick you out of bed.”

 She turned toward him and they both burst out laughing.  Spoilsport!

Feeling at home, feeling safe and sheltered, feeling whole for the first time in an eternity, his eyes finally closed and for once he was not afraid to relinquish control, as he knew she’d be there.  The next morning…and beyond.

Two months later:

“Are you sure?”  The sun was stunningly bright and unexpectedly warm for November. The leaves around them were a pretty collage of bright reds, stunning gold, and deep orange. Lisa’s azure eyes grilling him seemed to be so outside that warm color palette, and yet were just as amazingly captivating.

“Why wouldn’t I be sure?”

“Well, it was an impulse find- and I want to make sure you don’t regret it. I mean- we are about to close on it- and it wasn’t exactly cheap.”

“We can auction off your shoe collection. Or…maybe your old wedding rings. There are two I think you need to get rid of. You can keep the one in the middle.”

“Very kind...” She played with her old engagement ring that had found its way back onto her finger recently. “And hell to the no about the shoes! Your odd doll habit has to be sold off first.”

“If you touch my first edition Spider man action figure in premium, untouched packaging, the deal is off, lady, and I’ll ship you back West.”

“No, Daddy- you can’t ship Lisa off! She promised to show us the stables. There would be a surprise.” Paris looked up at him with a very worried expression. It was really amazing how bonded she had become to Lisa. 

Yes, Lisa had been full of surprises.  With amazing speed and lacking any expected protests, she had thrown herself into finding a house on the East Coast. They had actually been on a drive back from Washington, DC, where they had taken the children to several Smithsonian Museums and had been touring the city’s monuments, when they somehow had gotten turned around and ended up in the hills of Virginia. When initially noticing the driver had taken the wrong exit on the labyrinth that was the Capital Beltway, Michael had insisted to keep on driving, wanting to explore the beautiful valleys.  Somehow, they had ended up at this humongous property. Of course, it had been by pure happenstance that he had scoped out this very property online before. While he liked to do things together, he still loved to surprise her.  And the place just seemed too perfect for words.

He noticed Lisa’s eyes as she gazed across the wide open fields up to the manor, and, feeling happy and validated in his hunch, he insisted on calling the realtor listed on the sign right then and there. The lady had been pretty surprised, no doubt. Even though she seemed to catch on fairly quickly who her famous potential clients were, she seemed to neither be too impressed, nor eye him with the thinly veiled contempt and judgment he had almost come to expect back in LA. The kids immediately feel in love with the property, the pool, the playroom, and the small buildings to the side, one housing a bowling alley and several game rooms, and one standing currently empty. This was not as ostentatious a place as Neverland, but maybe that is where the initial attraction had lain. Somehow it felt right. As Lisa and he walked hand in hand through the bright, friendly house, and over the other parts of the property, he could, for the first time, envision having a home again.

Negotiating with Lisa over who would pay for what had been more complicated than dealing with his lawyers and the realtors. He wanted to pay for it all, despite his liquid assets having been drained, but Lisa would have none of it.

She insisted the house was going to be their home, acquired from their respective resources.  While his male ego would initially not allow any financial contributions on her part, she made it pretty clear that his ‘macho shit’ as she put it, was not going to fly.  This new relationship obviously was a bit trickier than expected, but he had to give himself props for learning to give in.  Relenting and compromising actually were only slightly less painful than expected. And she usually helped him heal by kissing and massaging his injured male pride. And other male parts.  Yes, Lisa was very skilled in distracting him from the source of the aching.

She also had recently revealed that she had one of the empty houses converted into a studio. Without a bed- as she informed him.

“Without a bed? But how will I share my inspirations with you when the muse moves me?”

“Your muse can move your sexy ass up to the house, or, if I conveniently am with you, we can think of…ah…alternatives.”

“Miss Presley- I’m stunned and bewildered at your lurid suggestions.” Mock shock was difficult to sustain as memories of making love to Lisa against the mixing board or making out with her on the couch while listening to playbacks came to mind. Surely, she would not be too opposed to a couch, would she?

She simply rolled her eyes and shook her head. While he grabbed her, kissing her, until she shared his laughter. 

Now, on the evening after the lengthy closing process, all five children, raced ahead of them toward the stable and the promised surprise.

“Ok, what did you do, fess up?” Michael pulled her back by the hand.

“Stop it! I’m not telling anyway, so you might as well be patient.”

“Woman, you know I have ways to make you talk, so you might as well stop being all mysterious like.” Michael pulled her toward a tree, imprisoning her with his arms, kissing her thoroughly. When she came up for air, she pushed against him and dipped under his arm, skipping off, laughing.

“Jackson, just hold your horses, will y’a?” She giggled again.

“Ha! You simply cannot keep a secret. You got horses, didn’t y’a?” He knew Lisa loved to ride and both Riley and Ben were accustomed to being on horseback.  His children also had adored their horses, and it stung to know he had to hurt them by selling them.  Since he had no plans of returning, it would not have been fair to hold on to the horses without having been able to have them exercised and cared for properly.  That day at Neverland with Lisa had been the last they had seen of their beloved mounts.

So, chances were, Lisa had her horses transported from Hidden Hills. And possibly she had bought some more. It irked him just a tiny bit that she had not consulted him if he thought it was appropriate his children have horses again. Gosh- this new family thing was difficult! He was so used to making all the decisions about his three, but he really had to get used to the fact that he wanted them to see her as their mother. Which meant, she was allowed to make choices for them.  That weird compromising thing again…

“You’ll see…”

They rounded the little walkway, and he could see he had been right. The pasture was populated by six horses and what seemed to be a pony.  He made out Lisa’s horse as well as Riley’s little Arab and Ben’s paint.  Funny, those others looked oddly familiar, too. No, it couldn’t be… It was probably a case of very similar animals.  Horses didn’t look that different from each other, after all. 

Walking up closer he squinted into the setting sun. He stopped again, looking over at Lisa who was watching him closely.

“Lise, I could swear….”

The squeals of Paris and Prince interrupted his thoughts and words. Blanket was pulling Ben, whose hand he was walking on, closer to the wooden railings of the pasture as well.

“Daddy, Daddy, oh Gosh…Look! It’s…” Paris shouted, gesturing toward the horses that had interrupted their grazing to look at the human visitors.  The little bay Arab made a small sound and trotted toward the fence.

Holy shit!

“Daddy- how did our horse get here? You said they were sold.”

Stunned, he looked over at Lisa, whose face was lit by a big, happy smile.

“How…?” He felt himself tearing up at the happiness of his children. Even Blanket had started to jump up and down when he realized his pony Wendy was part of the little herd.

“Long story. But my heart broke when I heard you had to sell them. I remember how the kids loved them.  So…”

“Lisa, Lisa- come look! She knows me! She remembers! Twinkle still remembers me!” Tears streamed down Paris’s cheek as she held out her hand to the mare that had come up to nuzzle her.

Michael had to swallow.  This simply took his breath away. Lisa had bought their horses and brought them out here.  He reached down and captured her hand, bringing it up to kiss it, before pulling her into a tight embrace, holding her close.

“Thank you. Thank you so much. God bless you, Lise- you made them so happy.” The whisper against her hair could not come close to expressing the love flittering through him.

Lisa looked up, her eyes also bright and brilliant from tears of happiness. “Hey, I’ll let you share half the transport costs, of you like. But I knew our kids would be thrilled. Hope you don’t mind.”

Our kids… It sounded so right.

“No, for once your control freakiness is much appreciated.”

“Well, I let you control me later to make it up to me.”

“You better conserve your strength; we have lots of rooms to break in.”

“Not as many as in Neverland, but I better eat my Wheaties – I’m older now, you know.”

“But even more beautiful.”

She giggled, then turned serious. “I love you, you know that, Michael?”

“Very convenient. Because tomorrow we have to convince this agency why it is a good idea to give an unmarried, ex-married, re-united couple with five children a baby. And citing our love might help. Since you won’t make an honest man out of me.”

“Don’t start again. I said, I’d think about it. We’re gonna check the adoption thing out first, right?”

Right.  One thing they had agreed on was to investigate adopting a baby. It seemed odd to do that before getting married, but hey, he was game.

The children called them over, asking if they could get carrots to feed to the horses. Lisa was just about to walk off, when he held her back.

“Hey, if you’re still only thinking about making me the final Mr. Presley, why are you wearing my ring again? Don’t think I didn’t notice.”

She gifted him with a sly look. “Because it’s pretty. And don’t think you get away with re-gifting it to me. When I say yes, that is…”

With that, she blew him a kiss, and skipped toward the kids and their carrots.

“Woman!”

She just waved to him with her back turned, while her clear laughter trailed behind her. As always she left him speechless- the love too much to express, fearing mere words would carry the emotions off into the setting sun like bubbles blown carelessly through a wand.

Still. One wrinkle left to iron out: Why in the world did Lisa hesitate to marry him? Was she afraid she was making a mistake? Was she still not trusting him? How could they even think about adopting a child together if that final commitment scared the shit out of her?  Try as he might, old doubts suffused him and battled the newly planted optimism.

No, she had said ‘when I say yes.’ When- not if. She had agreed to look into adoption- actually, it had been her idea, totally catching him off-guard. Listening to the children chatter and laugh, he attempted his best to once again chase away the clouds rising with the evening mist.

Blanket came running, holding out a carrot to him. “Here, Daddy. You help. Mommy said, you can help me give this to Wendy.”

Mommy.

Looking up, he found Lisa staring at Blanket. Exchanging a tense, surprised glance, Michael noticed that Lisa blinked a tear away. Blanket started to pull him off when he noticed Lisa as well.

“Can we go? Mommy, please?” Not an accident, obviously. Blanket had decided to imitate Riley and Ben, forgoing any adult complexities. Lisa was the woman who put him to bed, tucked him in, put band-aids on any boo-boos, laughed with him, kissed him, sang to him. He loved her. So clearly, she was Mommy. For a second, Michael almost expected old jealousies to arise. After all, it had irritated him to no end when the kids had seemed too bonded to Grace in the past. Now- nothing. Nothing, but happiness and calm peace in the face of the fact that should always have been written in stone. Lisa as the mother of his children.

“Mike? You ok?” Lisa searched his eyes.

“You heard the man, Lisa. Let’s go, Mommy.”

The smile could have rivaled the brightest diamond he could have ever claimed her with. And it would have to do until he’d once again get her to relent.  Because there was no doubt in his mind.  All newly found ability to compromise aside: Lisa would soon again be Mrs. Jackson.  Or Mrs. Presley Jackson at the very worst.

(to be continued)

©2011 Erika B Michaels. All Rights Reserved. This story is a work of fiction. Any names, places, and other identifying features are used in a fictional manner, for entertainment purposes only, and are in no way representative of actual events. This work may not be reproduced, copied, transmitted, or stored without expressed written permission by Erika B Michaels. All photos and images, mentioned songs or song titles are copyright their creators. 

The Difference is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.