The Difference- Chapter 32

32

How fitting that it would rain! Michael watched raindrops dig small virtual labyrinths on his window like little worms working their way through the ground. Some saw rain in LA as a small miracle. Which matched the theme of today: the very fact that he sat outside Priscilla’s residence on a gloomy day was miraculous in itself. Heck, the fact that he would even talk to her was more than strange and amazing. 

How long ago had he resolved to simply erase her from his life? It was as if her presence was outlined by some sort of ridiculous magic ink which would manifest itself over and over despite best efforts to make her disappear. Of course, he now saw clear as day that he would always have to deal with her shady, hovering, ominous presence on the outskirts of his life, as long as he chose to be with Lisa. She was her mother. A sad fact.  How much easier would Lisa’s life be had she been born from a surrogate like his children? On the other hand, he knew Lisa loved the witch.  Weird how the task of freeing themselves from the abusive parent was a lifelong task for both of them.

Well, he might have to accept the biological fact that somehow Medusa had given birth to the woman he loved, but that did not mean he wouldn’t  try and keep her confined to a tight, dark, and locked chapter in their continued storybook.

It was painful to make Lisa face that her mother might have once again stirred the black cauldron of her hatred and forced Lisa to drink the acidic brew. Yes, he had no doubt been the intended recipient of the poisoned apple, but Lisa had suffered from the fallout as well. Weirdly enough, that fact turned his stomach more than anything else.  He could accept that the viper hated him: but how could she face the mirror every day knowing what she inflicted on her own child?

Denial and rationalization, no doubt.  Well, he would make sure her rationalizing ass could deny itself all the way out of their lives. 

After Lisa caught him on the phone with her mother, she had been very quiet for the rest of the evening. Michael took her home at her request after she stated she wanted some time to spend by herself to sort things out.

“Do you regret I came back?”   Was this all too much for her? Did she have second thoughts? Insecurity was a difficult burden to surrender. At least he came right out and asked instead of letting his fear eat at him in silence.

“No, I just… I don’t know. I guess I had been so focused on hating Julia and Grace that I totally overlooked the part my mother might once again play.”

Yeah, there was not much room left for “might” in his mind.

“I’m sorry, babe… “ He made a helpless gesture and really did not know how to comfort her in any meaningful way.

“No, don’t be. You have nothing to be sorry for. Well, other than falling for weird women.” Lisa made a sad attempt at a joke.  Her smile was tired and never reached her eyes.

“Yeah, you. You can’t mean Julia. Hey, I never fell for her. You know that.”

“Well, she knows that too, now. You really told her, Jackson.”

“I meant every word. I love you. Annoying as it may be.”

This time her laughter was genuine. “Sorry for that- or not…”

He had pulled her close and kissed her, feeling her relax finally.

“Michael?” She looked up at him, “You don’t mind if I take some time to myself, do you?”

“No, today we really had a lot going on. And I need to swing over to my mother’s and see the kids anyway.” He had checked his phone earlier and found several messages from the children, demanding his attention.  Poor babies- he had missed them so badly.  But the sooner he dealt with all this crap, the sooner he could devote his time to his family: The children and Lisa. The thought made him smile.

When he dropped her off, she asked if he wanted to come on for a nightcap. It was tempting. But he needed to not smother her right now.  Plus, he also needed some space to process today’s events.

“Just can’t get enough of me, hum?” He hoped his smile was dirty enough to at least make her look forward to have him with her 24/7.

“Is there such a thing? But I don’t want to go down for wearing you out and confining you to a wheelchair or anything. I know you’re fragile.” That wink was too devilish.

Now, why did she have to do this? Why did she now have to weaken his resolve? A challenge?  It was tempting, but he’d just have to let her sizzle a while and reap the benefits another night.

“Fragile, my ass. Spoken by ‘She who walks as if she had been loved right by her man today’.  It’s your new Indian name.”

“Rather long, don’t y’a think? - Get outa here, before we see who will suffer from sex injuries.”

She turned and kissed him one more time, before skipping off toward her door, blowing him a kiss, then disappearing inside.

The hot rush of love felt so right- and it was even better as he didn’t feel the need to suppress it anymore.

His mother, aided by Paris had gently tried to pry information from him all evening. What was it with the women in his life?  Why could they not just leave well enough alone and have to dig?  It was kind of cute how they both tried to disguise their apparent questions.  Cute and obvious.

“So, you visited with friends today?”  Mother batted her eyes as she regarded him over her glass of water.

“Mother, I told you I went over to see Lisa to straighten some things out.”

“So, Daddy, you and Miss Lisa are friends again?”

Michael looked from his mother to his daughter- both acting all innocent and inconspicuous. Little tag team of co-conspirators!

“Would you like that, Paris?”

Paris took a sip of her water and played with her food.

“I think so. Would that make you happy, Daddy?”

“It makes all of us happy when you don’t mope around, Paris.” Prince chimed in.

“I don’t mope.”

“You sulk when you think you’re not the center of attention.”

“Do not. You act all superior as if you’re so mature-you’re only a year older, you know.”

“Well, I’m a year older but three years more mature and you’re a year younger and three years more immature. So- that separates us by like six years and…”

“Children- your father just got back. No fighting tonight. And Prince- sit up straight.”

Leave it to mother to bring them back inline.  It was so cute how Prince straightened out and 

Paris snuck in sticking her tongue out at her brother while pretending to wipe her mouth with a napkin. Gosh- how he had missed the normalcy of their squabbles.  He looked over at Blanket, who was watching his siblings with his big eyes, while continuing inhaling his mashed potatoes.

“Did they fight like this while I was gone, big guy?”

“Yep- always fight. But I’m good, right grandma?”

The big eyes again.  Michael had to giggle, knowing his son could be quite the little trouble maker.

Prince and Paris chimed in and laid out their baby-brother’s transgressions, while Michael thanked his creator to be once again able to join his children fully aware and awake.  Looking up, he caught his mother’s glance.   Was she wiping a tear from her eyes?  Guilt swept over him: he had caused his mother such grief over the years.  And she had always been his rock.
Michael reached over and touched her hand which she squeezed.

“I’m sure Lisa was as thrilled to see you as I am. You look well, son.  I am so happy to see you like this again.  Now, eat up. You know I hate wasted food. – And I think it is very nice you went to see Lisa Marie. She deserves you treating her right.”

With that, she patted his hand one more time before matter of factly starting to quiz the children about their lessons. How blessed was he to have her to rely on while he had to once again pick up the pieces of the mess he had made. Well, really, here lately, he had not been the creator of his own misery.  But he would now take back control – and once and for all ensure the trouble makers were banished behind insurmountable high walls.

Hours later, he regretted not having stayed with Lisa.  He was wide awake, replaying the confrontation with Julia and plotting the upcoming battle with Priscilla. Had he stayed with Lisa, he knew he’d be distracted by her presence.  Not that he would necessarily end up doing her one more time. Just to have her around would be soothing.  He longed to just simply hold her close to him, feel her body rising and falling under his arm, feel her stirring and stealing his blanket. And- who was he kidding- he’d do her again.

His glance fell at the alarm clock. His old enemy: the red dots between the hours and minutes marks.  Blinking at him. Challenging him. Ridiculing him for not being able to master one of the most basic human tasks: sleep.

Would she be awake? If not, would she be mad if he woke her? This was all new again. Once upon another life-time, he had known her schedule, had known if she would yell at him, laugh, complain… During their marriage he often had watched her sleep, only to eventually wake her up with his staring. Or so she had claimed. At times she had been cross, but usually she had propped herself up, listening to whatever had been on his mind. There were times when they were apart, he still could always judge if she’d take his call. And there were times, when he knew she wouldn’t before her voicemail even came on.

Just call her- what are you afraid of? That she won’t want to talk to you?

Exactly.

Even though, obviously, it wouldn’t mean anything if she didn’t answer- it was the middle of the night, after all.

Unless she’s already tired of dealing with you again. And being woken up will show her once again what she’d have to put up with.

This was ridiculous!

He decided to call her cell instead of the house phone. That way, if it was off, he could leave her a message without disturbing her. And he’d still get to listen to her voice.  A perfect win-win.

Lisa answered right away. He was startled by her voice before the ring tone. For a second he thought it was her voicemail after all.

“I knew you couldn’t stay away. Should have just come in- then you’d be sleeping by now.”

Ok, definitely NOT her recording.

“Are you sleeping with your phone? That was the quickest answer I think I ever got.”

“Something like that.”

“Like what?”

“I had it in bed with me, that’s all.”

“Awe! In case I called?”

“You know, you’re not the only person calling me, Mr Big Head.”

“At 2 am? I certainly hope I am. I don’t share well.”

“Actually, I had just hung up from sexing it up with 1-900-CallaStud.”

He giggled. “No way! You’re way too cheap to do that.”

Lisa was laughing, too. “I used a coupon.”

“You wouldn’t know how to use a coupon.”

Her deep laughter chased all tension away. What a really good idea to call her. And she didn’t seem mad at all. As a matter of fact, it was as if she had waited to hear from him.

“Do, too! You have no clue what mad life skills I have learned.”

“Ooh- that sounds mysterious.  Why don’t you fill me in?”

“That would be a good way to put you to sleep.”

“How did you know I can’t sleep?”

“I don’t know…telepathy. Or the fact that it is almost three am and you sound wired.”

“Maybe I just had a sweet dream of you and had to reach out and touch you. Since you’re not really here to touch.”

“Not my fault. I asked you in for a drink.”

“You know very well, baby girl, we wouldn’t be drinking. Well, I’d drink from you.  And taste you…”

The laughter sounded more husky now.

“Did you call me for phone sex to put you to sleep?”

No, but not a bad idea, either.  His hand somehow had found its way into his pjs. Her voice had awakened his cock which started to fill with blood. 

“Well, I have this coupon…”

More throaty laughter.

“Pervert!”

“Thrifty pervert. So, Miss. Stop stalling me.  I’m not sure I can afford another session once my time is up.”

“Well, sir, we better get you on your way then. I’d hate to get a bad review from my customers. And sending you to the poor house would probably not be going over well with my boss. Even though, I’d certainly make it worth your while.”

“We’ll see about that. I am very hard to satisfy…”

“Are you now? Or are you just hard?”

Lisa spoke with that raspy drawl now that always drove him nuts. And she was right on. His dick had gone from just slightly interested to pretty much rock hard. His fingers closed around it harder as started to slowly pump himself.

“Seems like you are a little mind reader.  I just checked and you are correct, indeed.”

“We aim to please.”

“What’s your name, little lady? Your voice sounds like dark seduction, and I like to know what to call you…”

“Call me Lola, sir.”

“Ok, Lola. You just call me sir, then.”

“Yes sir…”  The dark moan shot like current into his groin.

“What are you wearing, Lola?”

“A silky red teddy and a matching silk thong.”

Either she was lying or she had indeed anticipated he’d call and had dressed for the occasion. But he was game, either way.

“Run your fingers over the material and let me know how that feels.”

“It feels cool against my skin, sir. Your voice is so sexy, and you got me all fired up.”

“Move your hand to your breasts- I want you to pinch those nipples.”

Her heard her sigh and knew she was compliant. This night was getting more fun by the second. Michael was now on top of his covers and he watched his hand administer to his swollen member which was now at full attention, peeking over the waistband of his pj’s. He imagined her small hands playing with her breasts, visualized her nipples becoming hard and distended under the silk.

“Ohh…”

“What’s that feel like, girl?”

“It hurts, but it feels good. My nipples are so hard now, I can see them clearly through the material. The softness of the silk teases them more; almost like the soft lips of my man. When I rub them, the prickling sensation goes straight to my pussy.”

Michael bit his lips. God- what he would not give to witness her  getting more and more wet, her slick walls becoming soft and billowy, her nipples and her clit engorging… He swallowed hard.

“Yeah, girl. Tell me about that naughty pussy of yours. Is it getting wet? Move your hand down there- but stay only on the outside. You don’t get to touch that candy yet, little girl.”

“I’m moving my hand slowly down my stomach, sir, to my cunt.  My panties are getting drenched.  I feel the crotch is soaked, and I think my juices are dripping out…”  Her voice was dark and thick now, he heard her breathing was labored.  Her raspy pants floated to him and touched his skin, evoking goose bumps.

“Lightly run your fingers along those pouting lips- then back up to your top. Take it off, girl…”

“But it’s cold in here…” He could almost see her pout.  She was too much.

“Good- your nipples will tighten up even more…and if I was there I’d take them into my mouth and bite them before I’d soothe them with my hot tongue.”

“Sir, you sound as if you know how to love a woman right.- Can I ask you something, please?”

“Sure- go ahead, Lola.” He smiled, as his own breaths were coming fast and hard now.

“Are you touching yourself?”

“Oh, you better believe it. My cock is hard and painful, wishing my lady was here to bring it some relief with her hot mouth.”

“If she was I am sure she’d hold it tightly, just like your hands are doing now, and she’d bring it to her lips, kissing it, savoring it’s taste, tracing the budging veins with her tongue, climbing all the way to its sensitive head.”

The evoked imagery caused the coil of fire to once again tighten inside his gut- reaching out its brandishing snakes of fire into his dick. Lisa was that good. Her voice alone had made him cum too many times in the past. In reality and in his dreams and day dreaming… And tonight wouldn’t be any different.

He lifted his hips and pulled his pajamas down- giving his hand full reign over his jerking scepter. Precum had started to appear on its red tip, and he used it for lubrication as he allowed his thumb to slide across the sensitive tip.

“Lola, you sound like you know a thing or two about giving head. If you were here, I’d hold you down to my cock, pull back your hair to watch myself disappear between your lips, and fuck your face good.”

“You sound like you are huge- I bet it would be hard to take you all in. I know you’d hit the back of my throat, and I’d moan, driving you crazy.”

She illustrated with the sound that snaked through the crackling airspace and circled his penis, squeezing him, bringing him closer to the impending eruption. 

“And you know what? While you’d do that, I’d push that silky thong to the side and see how wet your little snatch was. I’d bury first one finger, then two, fill you, and stretch you- get your ready for the thing really challenging you. Be a good girl, Lola, let your fingers do the exploring. Push that material aside, and play with that pussy.”

“Oh, God, I thought you’d never ask! Oh fuck… It feels so good. I’m so wet…so ready for you…”

“Move your fingers to your clit, girl. Let them glide around it, pinch it like you did your nipples.”

Her moans transformed into small whimpers. In his mind’s eye, he saw her gyrating and undulating for him, moving her pelvis while her fingers made her juices drip down her pussy onto the sheets. What he wouldn’t give to be there, to watch her. It had always driven him crazy to watch Lisa play with herself. Her eyes hooded and heavy, watching him, tempting him.  Only too often had he descended on her, licking her, making sure he was the one who ultimately brought her to climax before he pounded into her warm body, finding heavenly relief for himself.

“Sir, I am so fucking close.”

“So am I girl.” His own moans could no longer be contained and he bucked into his hand, feeling his balls tighten into him.

He completed a silent count down, listening to her fuck-me noises, almost being able to smell her arousal, see her flushed body, feel the moist heat from her love canal.”

“Run yourself harder now, while you fuck yourself with your fingers, imagining my big cock fucking you, hurting you so good you wanna cry out my name.”

“Fuck yeah…oh shit, I am so close. Please, may I cum….please…” The last words were a whisper and a sob.

And a sign of perfect timing, as he felt the hot lava shooting down the length of his twitching cock, as he grabbed it hard, his movements fast and rhythmic, driving toward the glaring sun.

“Fucking hell…shit…oh God…” When he came he froze before being shaken by tremors as he ejaculated onto himself, cursing his bad decision to leave Lisa as he bathed in the sounds of her climax. She even broke character and called out his name over and over, until it transformed from a moan to a whisper.

When his head finally fell back, he noticed his hand hurt from holding his phone in a death grip.

“Well, fuck that coupon- that cum deserves full price, Lola.” His heart still threatened to break through his chest.

“Thank you, Sir. But you know what? I was fucked real good several times today already by the man I love and thought there was no way I’d cum again tonight. But since you did it to me like that, I’ll give you that one free. You are very gifted, you know…”

She sounded out of breath herself.  God, what he wouldn’t give to pull her close right now. To feel her heart beat against his chest.  Soon… Soon she’d be there every night.

“You have no idea…”

They both chuckled and enjoyed the comfortable silence between them.

“Lise…”

“Oh, is it ‘Lise’ again?”

“Hey, you brought Lola into the play.”

“I thought you’d like variety.”

“As long as they are all part of your crazy ass, I do.”

“Good answer. And lucky for you I have all kinds of dirty bitches in my head.”

“Lise…?”

“Yes, Michael.”

“Marry me.”

Silence.

Shock. Probably even more on his part than hers.

Shit!

Why did he keep doing that? One would think he had outgrown phone proposals.

“Lisa,- did y’a faint?”

Time to assess the damage. His tone was hesitant and careful.

“No. I’m waiting.”

What?

“Waiting?”

“Yeah- any second now you’ll be telling me you gotta pee.”

Ha, ha. Very funny. Well, it was.  He even had to giggle.  She was such a nut. A nut with good memory.

And surely she would not be nutty enough to marry him just based on another impromptu proposal. Not that he wouldn’t follow up properly, just like last time Still... What kinda catch was he anyway? Fresh out of rehab. With three kids.  On the other hand, he wasn’t the worst catch out there, either. Better than Nic ‘Rage’ and better than Riff-Raff.  He was pretty sure he even had Danny beat. Still… It was too soon.

Wasn’t it?

“Forget I asked.”

Just in case she agreed. Pulling back was better than being shot down.

“Why? Do you propose to all your phone sex partners?”
“It’s part of my addiction I didn’t get to address in rehab.”

“Thank goodness. You’re good at it.”

“Proposing?”

“No, you suck at that. Phone sex.”

“Years of practice.”

He sat up and grabbed some tissues from the box next to his bed. Time to come back to reality and clean up the mess he made.

“Uhum. So, did you mean it?”

“What part?”

“You know what part, dipshit. The marriage part.”

“If I meant it what would you say?”

“What would I say? Fuck if I know. This conversation is like a trip back in time.”

“Is that a good or bad thing?”

“Not sure…”

“Yeah, me either.”

Gosh, he had been so scared then. So alone and in so much pain. And Lisa had been there.  Still, maybe he had jumped in too soon. Back then, what had he known about marriage?  All his concepts and ideas had blown up in his face. Sure, he had loved her, but stupidly, he had thought that was enough. And even his love…had he really known what love was? Marrying her had seemed like the best idea ever. And the reality of their marriage had caused them to shatter like two lost ships in the fog, being shredded by hidden cliffs and locked down by deceptive sandbanks.

“Michael, I love you. You know that, right?”

Ok, here it came. She was shooting him down. He swallowed and closed his eyes.

“I hope you do. Look, it was a silly question. I don’t even know where it came from.”

“Well, we talked about trying again… I just don’t wanna rush in this time. I want us both to know what we are committing to. I…I don’t think I could survive it all blowing up again.”

Neither could he.

“Look, how ‘bout we’re tabling it for now. You don’t have to answer.”

She was silent.

Shit- what if she had wanted to say yes? No, no- it was much too risky.

“Ok, sounds fair. – I’m glad you called though.”

“Yeah, you just wanted to unleash your inner Lola.”

Lisa laughed, making him smile.

“Anything for my ‘sir,’ you know that.”

“Well, it helped. I think I can go to sleep now.”

Or it would have helped had he not inflicted some added torture onto himself by asking her to marry him.  He was such a stupid ass at times.

“Good. So, you’re still bound and determined to go over there by yourself tomorrow?”

“Yeah. Her and I need to get some things straight. Once and for all.”

Lisa sighed. “Don’t get too worked up, ok? You know she might not ever change.”

“You should worry about her. But thanks.”

“No, really- I worry about you right now. She fucked herself when she did what we think she did.”

Poor Lisa, trying so hard to be so strong. And still holding on to some elusive, tentative hope that maybe, just maybe her mother was not a heartless monster. Fat chance!

“Lise- I better try to get some sleep now. I love you so fucking much, girl.”

“I love you, too Michael.”

“Night, get some rest. You might need it.” He knew his cocky tone would make her laugh. And it worked.

“Mike?”

He almost had clicked the phone off when her voice stopped him.

“Yeah?”

“I wouldn’t have said, no, you know. I can never say no to you. Night.”

She hung up before he could reply.

Not that he had a reply. Not in words anyway. His heart had taken a leap and was thumping away in his chest as he closed his eyes and held the phone close to his chest. 

Surprisingly, he had fallen asleep for a couple of house after all.

After a fun morning with the kids, he now sat outside the lair of the dragon.  Ok, enough stalling. He now was late- ensuring she would already be foaming at the mouth.  She hated people messing with her time-line almost as much as he loved to assert his power by being late. This should be fun.

Not surprisingly, Priscilla retaliated by making him wait in her office.  He played with the items on her desk, enjoying the smooth feel of a gemstone globe she had on there as a paperweight. She must feel brave- leaving him in here with potential weapons.

He chuckled to himself, enjoying some video games style visions of having a knock down- drag out fight with her, using his superior wit and power to combat her dark magic.

Too soon, the vision of Botox and silicone swooped into the room, choking him with her overbearing perfume.  Or maybe it was simply her presence and everything her person embodied that took his breath.

She nodded at him curtly. “Michael- it’s been a long time.”

Not long enough. There was no timespan adequate to induce missing her. Just when her existence started to fade from his mind, she managed to pop herself back into to scope of his awareness.

“Priscilla.” He nodded in return, starting to automatically rise when she entered the room. The move was as much motivated by deeply ingrained politeness and respect for ones elders as by not wanting to be on a physically lower plane.

“No, really, stay seated. I hear you were just released from treatment. I am sure you still need to save your strength.”

The dig was delivered with a sardonic smile and a purposefully placed emphasis on ‘treatment.’ He was tempted to inform her that he had not been too weak to make love to her baby girl several times the previous day, but he know that would be slipping down to her incredibly low level.

Pushing his chair back with gusto he glared at her with his own mercurial grin. “Not at all. My mother taught me it was rude to not show respect for older ladies present.”

The flinch she could not suppress was satisfactory indeed.

“Well, I think we can dispend with any fake pleasantries, Michael. Your call yesterday made it clear that you had some urgent business that could simply not wait. I won’t have much time as I had to re-arrange my schedule, so I would appreciate if you got to the heart of the matter and leave. I am sure you are highly motivated to leave the country once again.”

Oh, he was highly motivated to grab her by her skinny throat and see if her fake lips turned blue as he deprived her of oxygen.

Chill, man! You don’t have to kill her. She’s so not worth having to wear orange. All you have to do is to keep her out of your business.

“I am highly motivated to tell you that both Lisa and I are aware of your trying to meddle in our lives again. And that it stops now.”

“I am sure I have no idea what you are talking about. Don’t flatter yourself, Michael. I do not have to meddle in your life. You are perfectly capable of imploding all on your own. All I have to do is step back and give you enough rope to hang yourself with. And be there for Lisa when she once again was foolish enough to believe you had changed.”

His temper started to rise together with his internal temperature.  Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to put all systems on cooling mode. 

“I know what you did, Priscilla. And Lisa does as well. How do you do it? How do you blow your daughter up as some kind of sick collateral damage in your quest to fuck me over?”

Time for politeness obviously had ticked by.

“It never amazes me how below that polished veneer you’re still just a kid from the streets, Michael. I guess that is part of what Lisa finds so charming, as she always has done her best to play the role of rich rebel. But it also illustrates why it never works with you and her. You have no class, and you are at heart a self-absorbed loner.”

A loner who would makes sure she spent her days alone without her daughter to torture.

“It won’t work, you know. You can’t distract me by making me angry. I am not some young idiot anymore, flustered and hurt by your refusal to let me date your daughter.”

“No, now you are simply an old idiot. And still not good enough for Lisa Marie.”

“And who put you in charge of that decision?”

“Nature did, Michael. I am her mother.”

“She is an adult.  With two children.  How’ bout you let her live her own life? Without lies…”

“Lies? I have not lied to Lisa. Can you say the same?”

“No, you lied to me. You had me informed that she had an abortion.”

“Yes, I heard your latest little plaything came up with that idea. I really don’t know what you do to women, Michael, to inspire them to such crazy behaviors.  However, I had nothing to do with any of that. I was simply there at the hospital when Lisa was brought in- half dead. Again, thanks to you.  You have children now, Michael: can you guess what it feels like to have your child be at death’s door several times due to the same person? Can you imagine the pain that rips out your heart – the fear that is darker than anything you can think of?”

Yes, he could. And he would hope to die a thousand deaths before he’d ever have to fear for the lives of one of his precious children. But not in a million years would he ever stoop as low as to use a horrible health crisis as a basis for a selfish gambit.

“I had nothing to do with Lisa’s illness.”

“Fair enough. Not this time. But your friend was the one who she fought with- over you.”  It was clear from what expression she could manage that the thought was unfathomable to her.

“And you know Julia didn’t cause her cyst.  Stop weaving a story out of nothing. Lisa would have fainted that day anyway- and Julia was there to bring her in. And then, very conveniently for you, you used her as a mouthpiece to launch the most horrible lie.”

“I did no such thing. What would I have to gain from that?”

“Nothing but to cause me more pain- which is your goal in life. And –to make matters worse, to hurt Lisa, as sort of a consolation price.”

“I would never willingly hurt Lisa Marie. And how could I? I mean, if I were to tell such a horrible lie to someone, how would I know that this person- this man who claims to love and worship her, would believe such a thing? I mean, Michael, I don’t think the thing that hurt Lisa was that someone told you she had an abortion. It was that you believed it.”

In some battles there comes a time when you realized your opponent has a valid point.  That split second when a truth so deep and undeniable seeps into your deepest defenses and most brilliant attack strategies can be the downfall.  How do you go on defending your position when faced by this one accurate beam of light, blinding you?  Weren’t shining mirrors the downfall of every Don Quixote?

He lowered his guard- and his gaze toward the floor, giving her ample opportunity to strike.

“I can see I hit a nerve. You know I am right. What possible power could any lies I might or might not have come up with have if you two are a solid front? But no, you never are. And do you know why? It’s because you cannot handle reality, Michael. You have some sort of magical wonderland running on an infinity loop in your head, and you do just about everything to keep it going. That includes smashing anyone who brings a glimmer of reality to you.  You would kill to keep that fantasy alive.”

“You made sure I’d believe it. Had you been the one bringing the lie to me, you knew I’d laugh in your face. So you do what you do best: you use people. You used Julia- someone whose only fault was to fall for your bullshit.”

“Yes, she is a verifiable saint, I am sure.  Not like she didn’t  sent some fake picture to you.”

“You know about that? Probably ‘cause your boy was in on that one with you.”

“My ‘boy?’ Really, Michael, you are too much. Why such venom? Lockwood loved Lisa. He had stood by her over the years. He had held her when she cried – and guess over whom.  He was able to do the one thing you could never do for her: he made her the priority in his life. So of course, you have to paint him as some villain.”

“You have no idea what I’m capable of doing, and you better hope you never find out, Priscilla. Lisa loves me, that is something you could never fight. You have some insane jealousy going on- you begrudge your own daughter’s happiness. Just because you could not make your marriage work. Doesn’t mean she can’t make it work with me.”

Priscilla stepped closer and her eyes shot arrows at him now. She was furious. Good, unnerving your opponent is always a good move. Let her mask slip and the ugliness seep out.

“You don’t know shit about my marriage.  So you better watch out. What are you now, the expert on marriages? After you just about killed my daughter you bought a wife. Lovely. But you know what, I give you that much: you are right. My daughter loves you. And she wants to make this relationship with you work. She always has. The problem is: you never loved her. You used and manipulated her. She was to play a role. Again- that magical drama in your head. Real people need not apply. You got it all mapped out, and heaven help anyone who wants to write their own script.”

“You know, you can stop rehashing the same old crap.  You might want to chant to yourself that I used Lisa, but she knows the truth. She knows I love her. I always loved her. From the moment I laid eyes on her.”

An ugly smile distorted Priscilla’s face and he instantaneously regretted his choice of words.

“Oh, yes, Michael: from the moment you met her. When she was what- six? You thought she was so sweet and wonderful. And she was Elvis’ child. Is that when you, at sixteen, fell in love with a child? That’s the story you so want to tell, right? Well, let me fill you in how the rest of us see that tale: it’s sickening, and it’s twisted. And it reveals the level of your manipulation.”

He could only stare at her. What was her problem? Why did she have to twist everything? And why was he wasting his time?

“You are one sick, twisted human being, Priscilla. If that is what you are- I have my doubts. Of course I didn’t fall in love with her then. But yes, I thought she was sweet- and special. And I thought that just like me she couldn’t really have had much of a normal childhood… But no, I fell in love with her later of course.  In romantic love, that is.”

“Like when, Michael? Five minutes ago? ‘Cause it sure as hell could not have happened before then. Now, Lisa, God help her, yes she loved you. I saw that look on her face the first time I saw you two together. And let me tell you- it scared the living shit out of me. It was the look I must have had when I met her father.  And loving him almost destroyed me.”

“Lisa is not you. And I am not her father. You interfered and you messed with us. You kept her frightened that I would use her. You accuse me of manipulation? What about what you have done over the years? What would you call throwing her into Danny’s vicinity over and over- even when we were married. Fucked up- that’s what that was.  She might not have seen you for what you are then. But she does now. She knows you are a lonely, bitter woman. You want to tie her to you to keep her as lonely and isolated as you are.”

“Danny is the father of her children. That’s why you hate him, right Michael? Well, guess what? She will always be connected to him. And you still can’t deal with it.”

Yes, it hurt that Danny had a tie with Lisa that he did not. But there were other connections he and Lisa shared that Danny could not hold a candle to- and he needed to link his security to those.  God- he had been so envious of the love that Riley and Ben obviously had for their Dad. What he had come to understand in the past years was that that very love did by no means lesson the love they felt for him.  Just like the love he felt for Lisa’s children was not diminished by loving his own kids. No, he could not let Priscilla distract him anymore. Time to lay it out plain as day for her:

“

What I can’t deal with is that you once again lied.  You made up a horrible story and you used others to deliver the deadly blow. And you know what- sit tight, because I am accepting responsibility for my part in all of this. I know I hurt Lisa. And I will spend the rest of my days to make it up to her.”

“By doing what? Keeping her from her family?”

“I don’t play like that. I am giving you fair warning to stay the hell away from me.  You give me any reason to think you are fucking with my life again and I will squash you like the ugly bug you are. I may have lost many of my connections, but I still am powerful. So, do not fuck with me- not ever again.  I know you are Lisa’s mother. And contrary to you, I respect her as an adult and know she will somehow keep you in her life. But you take care to stay the hell away from me. And you better never, and I mean never again, interfere in our family. You have fair warning.”

“Your family? You just assume she will have you back? After everything you put her through?”

“It’s none of your business. But yes, you better believe that Lisa and I will have a future. I will fight like hell to make that happen.”

“Ah- going after the prize, hm, Michael? And then what? What when you ‘win?’ What when you get that idea you are in love with and realize it is a flesh and blood person? A person with flaws and desires of her own? That’s where you failed every time in the past. Sure, you loved the idea of Lisa- but you never knew what to do with her when you won her over again.”

“That’s enough, mother. I told you to butt the hell out.”

Both he and Priscilla turned toward Lisa.  He had been so centered on the woman before him, he had not heard the door open. How long had Lisa been there? And why was she here at all? Did she not think he could fight his own battles?

“Lisa, I thought you left.” Priscilla’s attempt to control her angry voice was half-hearted at best.

“No shit. But you know what? I turned around.”

“You were here before?” Now it was his turn to be surprised. 

Lisa walked over to him, rose up on her tiptoes, and kissed him.  Kissing her back, he watched the wicked witch twitch and almost throw up green bile. No doubt her head was close to spinning round and round. Nothing he could have said was as powerful as Lisa’s display of solidarity. Even though she looked very pale- and her eyes were huge and glossy.

“Yes, babe. Sorry. I knew you wanted to talk to her, but I had to see her.  And yes, she finally admitted to me that she might have let it slip in front of Julia that I had a procedure. Even though she still denied she meant to infer I had an abortion.”

Pulling Lisa close, he glared at her mother, who surprisingly, for once was quite speechless.

“I’m sorry, Lise. I’m also sorry you found us fighting.”

“Shit- I knew you didn’t want to meet with her to ask for my hand in marriage.”

“As a matter of fact, that was next on my list. What do you say, Cilla? Wanna dance at Lisa’s wedding soon?”

Lisa turned and faced her mother, her arms around Michael’s waist, while his rested on her shoulder, keeping her close to him.

Priscilla stared at her daughter, her mouth closing and opening several times as she no doubt searched for a fitting answer. One that would not come.

“Well, mother, I can see you are pleased. And I’m stoked I don’t need your permission anymore. So, don’t worry, when Michael and I remarry, you won’t have to search for excuses to shun us. You won’t be invited.”

“Lisa- please think about this. Don’t act rashly out of defiance. Not again.”

“I never married out of defiance.”

Well, Michael would just ignore that one. He knew she wanted to spite him when she exchanged those doomed ‘I do-s’ with the third rate actor.

“No, you think you’re in love. Hell, you’re in love with being in love. Just watch out- he married you to get out of a crazy situation once, and he is doing it again. What looks nicer to the world than the man who everyone thinks is guilty of loving kids just a little bit too much marrying his forgiving ex-wife once again? Please, use your brain, Lisa.”

Had she gone really this mad? Did her hatred run this deeply?

“Thanks for always making me feel like that I can’t have anyone love me for myself, mother. You made me feel like shit most of my life and I let you. Well, it ends now.  You pushed and pushed, and you just can’t respect the boundaries I give you. I thought we were beyond all that. But really, our relationship only worked ‘cause I played by your rules. I love Michael. He loves me. We are together- and dammit, we earned this little bit of happiness. Why did I have to scrap and fight for what I want?”

“Lisa Marie- if I thought he could make you happy….if I thought he loved you…don’t you know I would be ecstatic to have you happy? What would you do if you saw Riley running her horse into a canyon? Would you fire a gun behind her to make sure she’d crash and burn?”

“When Riley is an adult, I hope I afford her the courtesy to make her own decisions. And to believe that a man could love her for herself. And never, I mean never, would I lie and plot to keep her miserable! Why can’t you just trust my word that he loves me? That I understand he is different, but that I know he loves me.”

Lisa was yelling now, and he felt her chest heaving. This was exactly why he wanted to do this alone. She did not need to be upset like this.  Even if she called him “different.”

“I believe people love you for yourself.  But I know that this one…” She pointed at Michael dramatically, “this one man, cannot love you. Or anyone. I even doubt he loves his children...”

A dark haze surrounded him and he stepped forward, not sure what he would do next. How dare this example for selfishness call his devotion to his children into question? Lisa, jumped in front of him in time before he broke his number one rule to never hit a woman.

“Michael, don’t. She’s not worth it- That’s enough, mother. Who the fuck do you think you are? You are dead to me, do you hear me, dead! Don’t call me- don’t write, don’t email, don’t send pigeons. I have my lawyers contact you about how we will conduct business, but that’s it. You stay the fuck away from me.”

Lisa grabbed his hand and blew by her mother, physically pushing her out of the way, dragging him with her.  Without wasting another look at Priscilla he followed her out of the house.

Ok- that had all gone well.  Really, what had he expected? They weren’t all going to embrace, cry, and sing We Shall Overcome at the end of the day. Thankfully.

Outside, Lisa let go of his hand and marched toward her little Mercedes.  How did she walk this fast in her crazy high heels and not break her legs? He’d never understand the physics of that.

“Lisa, wait!” He darted after her.  She had sank into the driver’s seat, but left her door open.  A tear slid down her cheek and she stubbornly wiped it away before gripping the steering wheel, staring straight ahead. Her chest was rising and falling while she obviously struggled with suppressing tears. He was not able to tell if they were born from anger or sadness. Or both.

“Lise…?”

“You coming or what?” Was she mad at him now? What did he do?

Glancing over his shoulder, he looked at his car and driver.  On one hand he could not let Lisa take off by herself- on the other it might be dangerous to ride with her while she was in this state. He remembered too many races down congested highways as she tried to outrun demons riding her back.

“Hold on- let me send my driver home, okay? Don’t drive off without me. Your mother might swoop down and incinerate me.”

 Lisa actually smiled and nodded. “I got your back.”

After explaining his alternate mode of transportation, he turned, seeing Lisa had started up her car. Great- if she was going to leave him here he’d march back in and use his pent up frustrations to find out if Priscilla had managed to change expressions yet.

Lisa pulled up next to him, allowing him to get in. Good- he was saved.

“I thought you were gonna leave me.”

“I can’t leave you and mother unsupervised. You guys don’t play nice.”

Said the woman who just told her mother she was dead to her. Not that he didn’t feel like throwing her a parade for that statement.

“She was just about to fall down on her knees and beg me for forgiveness for everything she ever put me through when you came in. So we were doing just fine, thank you very much.”

Lisa shot him a wry look. “Yeah, that’s what it looked like.”

Before he could read her eyes, she turned her gaze onto the road again.

“Mike- hand me my shades, will y’a?”

Suddenly, he noticed the sun had broken through the hazy, rainy clouds. What a perfect metaphor!

He looked into her purse and handed her the sunshades.

“Copycat.”  The statement was motivated by noticing she wore golden aviators.

“You should see my Thriller jacket.”

“Seriously? Will you model it later- and omit anything else? On second thought, you may keep those high heels on- and the aviators.”

“If you behave.”

There- he had managed to paint a smile onto her face. 

Suddenly, something captured his attention. Turning his head, he realized a gorgeous rainbow had appeared to his side. God had chosen this moment to apply the most amazing hues of color with a broad paintbrush in almost a perfect arch across the sky. Deep red, blue, green,and  violet streaks bled into each other more beautifully than any human talent could convey.

“Lise-look at that.”

“Oh wow- that’s amazing! I don’t think I ever saw one this big before around here.”

Stunned, Lisa pulled the car off and they both silently stared at the majestic display.

After a while he reached for her hand, holding it tightly.

“Did you mean it?”

“What?”

“When you talked about getting married. Or did you just wanna poke into your Mom’s wounds?”

Lisa turned toward him, her eyes hidden by her shades. After a second she turned toward the now fading rainbow again.

“Weird, hm? It’s there so clearly and you see the colors and you know it seems so real you can touch it. Then it fades and it’s gone. And you almost ask yourself if it was even real or if you just wanted something so beautiful badly enough to make it appear.”

Her tone scared him. She sounded flat. Lost. Sad. Not exactly the answer he had envisioned.

“What’s wrong, Lise?” This time he turned toward her, grabbing her shoulders, turning her to him. 

He reached for her shades and removed them. The blue of her eyes rivaled the beauty of the rainbow they had just admired. Another gift from God. One he would always appreciate from now on.

“What if we’re both wrong? What if she is actually right? What if you love the idea of being with me but you never really loved me, the woman? What will I do if I marry you, Mike, and wake up one morning and realize the love you say you have for me was just an illusion?”

And just like that, the grey clouds once again had managed to claim the sky above, blocking out all light and colors as raindrops started to once again accompany the beating of his petrified heart.

(to be continued)

 

©2011 Erika B Michaels. All Rights Reserved. This story is a work of fiction. Any names, places, and other identifying features are used in a fictional manner, for entertainment purposes only, and are in no way representative of actual events. This work may not be reproduced, copied, transmitted, or stored without expressed written permission by Erika B Michaels. All photos and images, mentioned songs or song titles are copyright their creators. 

The Difference is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.