The Difference - Chapter 6

IMPORTANT NEWSFLASH!!!

TO HAVE AND TO HOLD WAS UPDATED TODAY, TUESDAY 12/14/10

Lisa wakes up after the "wedding night" in Sidney.  Will her doubts about the future of her relationship with Michael have been swept away by his ...ahem..attentions the previous night (and this morning.. :) )

check Chapter 7 out at:

http://www.planetjackson.net/to-have-and-to-hold.html

Now, without further ado.... chapter 6 of THE DIFFERENCE

Chapter 6



Where in the world had he left his cell phone?  This was ridiculous; he could not keep track of those damn phones.  Things were so much easier when phones had cords and were predictably fixed in one place. It had all gone south since cordless phones.

“Daddy, you said we are going!  What is taking you so long?”

Paris’ startling blue eyes looked up at him and he could not help but smile at her solemn yet bossy little face.  This little lady had him wrapped solidly around her cute fingers. 

“I can’t find my phone, Paris.  I need it, because I told grandmother to let me know about some things I had her keep an eye on.”

His impatient little daughter demonstratively put one hand on her hips and rolled her eyes, sighing.  “Daddy- why don’t you just call your phone.  That way you might find it faster and we can go.”

Bingo! Smart little girl! He bent down and kissed her forehead and she immediately pulled him into a hug.  For a second he let himself enjoy the contact, thanking God he was the kind of father he never had and that he was able to give affection as well as show his children that they were his life. Paris looked up, “Daddy, the phone?”

“Gee, Paris, give me a second here. You are so impatient! Why don’t you go and see if we have everything we have for the baby.” Pretty soon he had to stop calling his toddler a baby, but that time had not come yet.

Paris ran out of the room, blowing him one more kiss. Now he only had to remember his cell phone number.  How many times did he call himself after all?  Ok, it should be on a piece of paper in his wallet.  Sadly, he realized that this discovery did not turn out to be the end-all, as he had a habit of scribbling down things on millions of little notes.  He really needed to figure out a way to organize his thoughts.  After finally finding the note with his phone number in his wallet, he dialed it from the apartment phone.  It was funny how he could remember lyrics he thought of once, but had immense difficulty to recall his ever changing phone numbers.  Not hearing the phone ring, he almost hung up when someone answered.

“Hello?” A female, soft, familiar voice answered. 

Julia?  A smile stole onto his face.

“Hey, this is…”

“Michael! I wondered when you would figure out to call this phone.  I was just about to contact Tom and find out how I could get a hold of you.  Of course, I was well prepared to be considered a desperate woman, which would have ruined my reputation.  See, what I was ready to do for you?”

The smile broadened.  She was funny.  He liked that about her.  Well, that and other things.  Like how, she had pushed him up against the door after they entered the suite, kissing him, undoing his pants, falling to her knees, and…

He cleared his throat. “You are so sweet.  I was wondering where that phone was.  I can’t keep up with them.”

“Them?  Phones?”

“Yeah, they seem to have a habit of hiding from me.”

“I heard a different version, but ok, let’s call it that.”

He laughed. “What did Tom tell you?”

“What? Nothing.  He didn’t mention hiding phones.  He might have mentioned that odd occurrence of flying phones when you are around.”

A giggle escaped.  Oh no! How embarrassing! He only threw phones when he was very frustrated.  And the months leading up to and during the trial had been just a tad taxing.  Come to think of it, low flying cell phones had become the rule more than the exception there for a while.

“So, do you want this one back?  Or do I get to keep it as a memento of a wonderful night?” Her voice deepened.

Wonderful night indeed. The blowjob was a nice icebreaker and appetizer. It certainly took the initial edge off, and then things proceeded quite naturally from there.  She had been amazing: so loving, so tender, so passionate.  Feeling a woman again had been odd at first; especially one, whose body was so different from what was ingrained in his tactile and muscle memory.

They had kissed on the couch, and Julia had risen, taking her clothes off for him, while he stared at her, unable to move.  For one horrible second, immense guilt cursed through him when looking at her stunning body.  Some messed up internal alarm system informed him that he was not allowed to look at any other women, that he was taken. Visions of Lisa undressing for him first filtered than poured into his consciousness and put a momentary damper on things.  Cursing to himself, he forced all his senses to stay in the present, and he reached for Julia as she just took his hand, pulling him up, undressing him, while kissing every inch of his body.  She had been so giving, so caring.  It was almost as if she had sensed his hesitation.  Once his hands made contact with her hot, scorching skin, he let his body take over and was finally able to banish any unwanted thoughts as well as that crazy, inappropriate, undeserved guilt.

Sinking into the pillows of the huge bed, Michael had rested comfortably on his back with Julia astride him.  She was kissing his mouth, travelling down his neck, finding his nipples, showering them with licks and kisses, applying just the right amount of pressure with her lips and teeth.  Her hand had found his penis that quickly had re-awoken, ready to play some more.  Michael pulled her back toward him up, drawing her closer, feasting on her breast while letting his hands travel along her ribcage, down to her hips, rubbing her ass.  One hand rose and played with the breast not in his mouth, while the other found her wet center, parting her folds, finding her clitoris.  Julia moaned and her hips started to gyrate.  Pretty sure she was not going to object, he entered her with his fingers, enjoying her little cries while exploring her.  Preparing her a bit longer, letting his fingers pump into her then caressing areas inside her that made her tremble, he used his thumb to stroke her.  Before long, she moaned his name, asking him to fuck her- and he was more than happy to oblige. He reached for his condom and she was more than helpful with getting him ready.

Having sex with her had been utterly enjoyable.  She was a skilled lover, and he in turn took his time to please her, reveling in the knowledge that he had not lost his touch.  He made sure she reached her climax twice, before he let go, let her heat pull him deeper, as her muscles clenched around him.  He relinquished control, but not to the extent he had allowed himself with other partners…or one other partner in particular.  His moans filled the room, but he did not have the urge to scream, to cry out her name, to confess his love.  Cuming had been great, but much less like dying than he remembered, less than the petit mort the French had so aptly named climaxes.  This was not like being catapulted into another galaxy, not like watching stars being born and dying.  This was not like a dip in hot lava, not like being tossed in the center of a tornado.  This was nice.  Relaxing.  Refreshing.  For a stunning second he could not gage if he experienced relief or disappointment. 

The afterglow was also nice and natural.  It felt lovely to have her snuggle against him for a while, before she rose to get dressed again.  He had just ordered a midnight snack, when his phone had gone off.  The nanny called him, informing him that Blanket was running a low grade temperature and could not sleep.  Feeling the immediate guilt of all parents who indulge in some time off while their children are at home, he apologized to Julia, and asked if he could take her out to lunch to make up for his hasty departure.  She was very understanding and sweet.  How uncomplicated some women could be.  Who knew?

The hurried rush to return to the kids had led to the loss of the phone.  Which, as it turned out now, provided him with the perfect opportunity to ask Julia out to lunch.  He thought he detected a certain amount of surprise when he invited her to join them for tea in a private room at the St. Regis Hotel after accompanying them on a visit to one of his favorite toy stores.  The children had been clamoring to go to FAO Schwartz first and the store would be closed down for the visit.  He had told the managers that it was totally fine to keep it open, but they had insisted, maybe proving that some people still were ok with having him in their establishment, despite the suspicion of guilt the he saw in the demeanor of too many people he met these days.  It was a relief.  

“Are you sure, Michael?  I don’t want to intrude on your time with the children. I know how you value their privacy and your time with them. Don’t feel like you owe me.  You were already more than giving the other night.”

“It was my pleasure.  Literally.  Plus, you are not intruding. I asked you cause I would like you to meet them.  Unless you think that’s weird… And, thankfully, I will have all the time in the world with the kids, so please join us.  We will find some things to donate to charities, and the children are allowed to get one thing each.  It is more about the fun of being in the store- they love the Harry Potter section.  I do, too, I have to say…”

She laughed and finally agreed.  Michael found he was actually looking forward to seeing her again.  Ending the call, he hurried as the kids were bouncing off the wall by now.  After informing them they would have a friend join them, they drove off.  Paris shot him a quizzical look.  “Who is the friend? Do we know him?”

“It’s a lady, Paris.  And no, you do not know her.”

Now he had Prince’s attention as well as he looked up from his handheld game, but refrained from digging.  His sister, as always was much less restrained.  After exchanging glances with her brother, Paris leaned forward. “A lady?  Do you have a girlfriend, Daddy?”

“Paris, if Daddy had a girlfriend, don’t you think he would have told us?”  Price was obviously glad Paris had asked the obvious question, but could also not resist the chance to point out that he was oh so much older and mature. 
“He might have forgotten to tell us, Prince.” Paris made a face at her brother. He grimaced back at her, causing Paris to stick her tongue out at him.

Blanket was unwilling to be left out any longer and also stuck his tongue out, imitating his sister.

“See what you did?  You made the baby do it.”  Prince shot an angry look at his sister.

“Guys, can you please stop it?” Michael finally decided it was time to reign them in. “No, Paris, Miss Julia is not my girlfriend. You are right Prince, if I ever have a girlfriend, you guys will know about it.” He ruffled his son’s hair.

“Daddy, why don’t you have a girl friend?  Do you not like girls?” Paris was allergic to being ignored.

“Why would he?  Girls are gross.” Prince wisely informed his sister.  “He’s got us.”

Michael laughed.  “Yeah, you guys are right; we have each other.  We’re like the four musketeers, right?” 

Getting into the store had not been too bad.  Maybe it was a good thing that he was no longer constantly hounded by masses like he used to be.  Roaming around the store turned out to be as much fun as he recalled and became even more so after Julia joined them. She was dressed smartly but casually, and her easy going nature won the children over in no time.  They toured all the different sections, playing with different items, and of course, having to jump around on the famous floor piano.  For the first time in months, Michael felt totally carefree and happy.  What a strange feeling.  Strange and miraculous. 

Playtime was followed by lunch at the St. Regis Hotel.  They had just been served their sandwiches and tea, Michael trying his best to prevent Blanket from shoving a handful of chocolate petit fours into his mouth, Julia and Paris chatting about the different princesses’ outfits they had played with, when his body guard motioned to talk to him.  What could this be about?  Stepping away from the table, he realized Wayne looked slightly uncomfortable as if he was about to break some news that would cause Michael to be less than pleased.  He steeled himself, by now almost used to bad or unpleasant news.  Still, nothing could have prepared him adequately.

Michael about fainted when he heard the words.

“Miss Presley is here to talk to you.”

What the hell?  This had to be a mistake.  He must have heard wrong.

“What?  Where? Are you sure?”

What in the hell was going on?  Lisa?  Here?  Instant dizziness surrounded him and a foggy chasm opened and threatened to devour him.  His heart started to race and his throat went dry.  When he clenched his fingers into a tight fist he noticed his palms were sweaty.

“Here, as in here at this hotel?  What…? Why?” He stopped, realizing his body guard did not have the answer. Michael tried to take a deep breath which was difficult given his constricting ribcage. He forced his tone to be even. “Well, tell her she can call me later, but I do not have time to see her right now.” She can call, but it would be a cold day in hell before he would answer the phone. 

“She insists on seeing you.”

“She can insist all she wants.  She was not invited.  Please tell her that we have a closed party and we are not adding people.”

Wayne, who had been with him for a while and certainly was aware of some aspects of their tumultuous relationship kept an even face and walked off. 

Michael swallowed and tried to control his rising anger.  How dare she?  How had she found him in the first place?  Mother!

“Is everything ok, Michael?” Julia looked at him with concern.  She must have noticed his flushed cheeks.

“I just have to make a quick call to my mother.  I will be right back. Do you mind staying with the children for a second?”

“No, go ahead, we will be fine.”

He stepped out from the private room and into the small hall, dialing his mother’s number.

“Michael!  Hello, son. How's the city?” How innocent she sounded.  The little co-conspirator!

“Hi mother.  Can you fill me in on how in the world Lisa found me?” Cutting to the chase without pleasantries, he was trying his best to keep his tone controlled, but the situation was really making this difficult.

A short silence, then a sigh. “Michael, I’m sorry.  She came by.  She was so upset.  I could not bear to see her in such pain. She said she needed to talk to you.  I told her you were in New York.”

“Great.  Still, New York is pretty big.  I am fairly certain I am not wearing tracking devices, so how did she find me here at the St. Regis?”

“Please watch you tone, Michael.  No need to get testy with me. She called me this morning, asking if I knew where you were since she tried calling you without success. I felt bad.  I mean, I didn’t want her to run all around that city looking for you.  And since you are not taking her calls and being rude…”

Rude? Had his mother just called him rude?  Whose side was she on?

“I have my reasons for not speaking to her.  I had specifically asked you to not talk to her about me.”

“I know, I know, I heard you.  But sometimes you act against your best interest.  I love you, and so I made the choice to tell her that Prince told me about you going to that toystore.  I don’t know how she found you at the hotel.”

She found him there, because coming here had been part of their routine. When they took the kids to FAO Schartz, they always had dinner or lunch at the Regis afterwards.  Lisa once had read some novel taking place there and she liked the quiet elegance of the dining area.  Once she knew about the visit to the toystore, figuring out he was at the Regis did not require a degree in rocket science.

He closed his eyes and tried counting to three, putting forth an otherwordly effort to avoid being harsh to his mother.  Her motives were pure and he knew she loved him.  She just wasn’t a match for the conniving ways of his ex.  What a bitch to get info about him through his mother. He planned on ending the conversation with his mother as cordially as he could, and to once again implore her to please keep his life private.

“Don’t be mad at her. It's my fault.” 

He almost dropped the phone.  Or was tempted to throw it.  Was anyone listening to him today?

Forcing himself to hold steady, trying to prepare himself to face the owner of the husky voice, he garnered all his skills of portraying the mechanic detached mask which he had perfected during the trial.  Slowely, he turned, feeling as if he had been kidnapped and transported to another universe where time stood still and space threatened to shrink.

How long had it been?  How long since he had seen her treacherous face,  stared into those damn deceiving eyes, let his eyes rest on the lying lips?  Too long. Not long enough.  She looked so beautiful.  She was the most horrific sight he could imagine.  He felt like choking her.  He longed to kiss her.  How  could all this happen at once? His eyes roamed over her. He took in her dark pants and white t-shirt.  How did she still look so young?  So sweet and innocent?  What a joke! He knew full well that there was not an innocent or sweet bone in her petite body. Her hair was shoulder length and the dark honey color he had always loved on her.  She wore smoky eye-makeup obscuring the exact color of her eyes.  He might wear surgical masks, but Lisa had her own veils. 

"Mother?  Never mind, I will talk to you later.  I love you."

"I love you, too, Michael.  And please hear her out."

Fat chance!

“Hello, Michael.” An insecure smile met him. 

“I told Wayne you were not invited.” His voice sounded scratchy and forced.  “I’m sorry; I have to get back to the children.”

“I apologize that I asked your Mom about where you were.  I have to talk to you, and you won’t answer my calls.”

“Which should have been your first hint.  I don’t want to talk to you.  We are done talking.” His heart rate was out of control. Cold rage filtered through him. No, this was not healthy; he had to get away from her.

“Ok, fine, I understand you are out with the kids.  But I really need to talk to you.  I would not bother you otherwise.”

His eyebrow rose.  “You wouldn’t know how not to bother me.  What I don’t understand is why you bother.  You made it clear where you stand…you and all that indifference.”

Lisa flinched as if he had hit her. “That’s what I want to talk to you about. Please, don’t make this so difficult.  Can I see you later? I promise I will make it quick.”

“I don't care if you set a new world record. It’s not a good idea. I don’t think there is anything left to talk about.  You didn’t want to talk when I needed you.  You basically told me to take a leap off a tall building.  Well, as you can see I’m still standing.  I’m fine and dandy- and all without your help.”

“Michael, please.” She touched his arm and he froze. 

It was just one innocent graze through the fabric of his jacket.  And yet he felt as if he had just stuck his finger into the nearest electrical outlet.  What was it he always told the children- Stay away from dangerous things that can hurt you?  Well, he needed to heed his own advice and get the hell away from the greatest threat to his sanity. 

He looked down at her hand. “Get your hands off me, Lisa.” The order set a new point for absulute zero temperature.  Inside cyclones fueled by liquid oxygen and the fires of hell made it difficult to stay oriented and in control.

“You don’t mean that.” Her voice was husky and he felt intense anger.  He also became aware that the part of him conditioned so perfectly to respond to her rose to the occasion against his will.  Damn her!

Michael looked over at Wayne who started to approach.  He needed help before the internal blow torch succeeded in ripping through his cast iron surface.

Her cold laughter startled him. “Seriously?  You are calling your bodyguard over? Have you lost your mind? Do you think I will jump you or something?”

Well, good, she was finally dropping the nice and civil act. And yes, he was afraid.  Those eyes had killed him one too many times, those lips had sucked the life from him, rendering him a shell for the last time.

“Just leave and stop making a scene.  I don’t want to talk to you, and I don’t want you touching me. I am done here- I’m going back in to join the kids and you are leaving.”

“I’m not making a scene at all.  I simply…”

Just then things got elevated to a whole different level of complication when Julia stepped into the hall. Lisa was still staring at him, so she initially failed to pay attention to the woman standing outside the door.  Julia quietly sauntered over and stood next to him, as if she had read the instructions for blocking this unique show. 

“Michael, are you ok?  Paris was worried and she sent me out to see if you needed anything.”

Lisa’s eyes widened and she slowly turned her focus to the woman who towered above her several inches despite Lisa’s high heels.  Michael quite enjoyed her rising pallor despite her best efforts to play it close to the sleeve.  Seemed, someone had been working on self-control.  Better late than never.

Michael reached out and put his arm around Julia who stepped up closer to him. “I will be right back in.  I just had an old acquaintance stop by to say hello.”

Lisa flinched again at the word acquaintance. He was starting to enjoy this.  Funny how all this was getting to her in all her indifference.

“Michael, aren’t you going to introduce me?”  Lisa managed a cold smile.  Her finely controlled mask started to slip and it became clear to him just how pissed she was.

“This is my dear …friend Julia.”  He looked over at Julia and pulled her closer, letting the emphasis on the word “friend” hang in the room like an exquisite fragrance: intangible yet capable of changing moods.  Julia looked a bit surprised, but played along by snuggling up to him.  Michael was well aware that he had not introduced Lisa. 

Lisa extended her hand, her fake smile back in place after having scanned his face quickly.  He tried his best not to give her any reaction.

“Hi, I’m Lisa.” She omitted the rest of her name before dismissing Julia once more.  “Michael, about what I said, earlier:  I still need to talk to you.  Here is my number”.  She held out a card and he stared at it.

“Please…?”  Her tone was soft and pleading.  How many times had he heard that word?  And how many times had he melted away?  Well, funny enough, his resolve was not about to dissolve like her love had.

Michael observed as Lisa visually grappled with the difficulty of having to swallow her pride in front of the woman who clung to his arm and now reached up and, with a very familiar gesture, straightened out the collar on his jacket.  He had no clue how Julia knew what was going on, but she played along perfectly.  Possibly, she had recognized Lisa, and was aware of their history.  Or maybe, she had simply picked up on the vibe in the room.

Michael reached for the card.  If this was going to help get her out of here, so be it.

“Mike, are you staying at your apartment?”

Mike?  He was ‘Mike’ now?  This was probably her retaliatory strike for Julia’s familiar gesture.  He hoped she caught the fact that he had not objected to Julia's touch.

“Lisa, I will call you when I have time.  I am very busy.  Thanks for stopping by.  Don’t go out of your way to visit again.  I am sure you are very busy.”  He ignored her question as nicely as he could.  Really, he wanted to tell her to fuck off.  What was it about her that made him curse and scream?

“I am here in New York with my fiancé, so yes, we are quite busy, but I can always make time for an old...acquaintance, Michael.”

His turn to be surprised.  She was engaged?  Did she actually commit to marry the dude that looked like he permanently auditioned to play Riff Raff in Rocky Horror Picture Show?  He thought he had heard about her newest boy toy from one of his body guards.  Well, good for her.  So why was she here?  Showing off?  If this was a contest, he thought he had done much better with Julia then she had with, whatever his name was.  Had he really just thought that?  How did she manage to drag him down to her level?

“Congratulations, Lisa.  I hope you get everything you so richly deserve.  If you don’t mind, my children are waiting inside, and Julia and I have plans.”

A pink tint spread across her cheeks and her eyes sparkled in an icy blue that usually announced an eruption.  Her mouth opened and she took in a deep breath, then lowered her head, breathing out, before meeting his gaze once more, smiling sweetly.

“You know what, Michael.  You’re right.  I am sorry.  You go do what and whomever you gotta do.  It’s not my business anymore.  I’m sorry, I bothered you.  Have a nice life. And you, Jenny, have a great day.” She turned sharply and stalked out.  At least she still had her bitch exit down pat.  He was only sorry that Julia had to be dragged into this nonsense. 

Michael finally released the breath he seemed to have kept hostage since she had walked up on him.  Julia released his arm and he turned away from her for a second, needing just a second to compose himself.

“So, that was her, hum?” Julia’s soft voice was behind him. 

He turned toward her with a dazzling smile. “Her?  Who? Oh, Lisa…”

“Hm.  I had been wondering who she was.  It seemed last night that there was a third person in the room with us, and I was wondering who had done such a thorough job on messing with your head.  Guess that was her.  Your ex.”

“Yes, Lisa is my exwife.  We have some history, but no, I definitely was not thinking about her at all last night.  You and I were the only people there, I guarantee it.”

What’s a little white lie between friends?

Julia simply smiled up at him and took his hand as they walked back into the room to join the children. Though he managed to enjoy the rest of the afternoon, it seemed a foggy, oily film had descended onto his being, threatening to suffocate him by oozing familiar poison that he had deemed himself immune to into every pore of his body, his soul, and his tattered heart.  He had to find an antidote fast before the paralyzing madness would once again consume him.

(to be continued)

 

©2010 Erika B Michaels. All Rights Reserved. This story is a work of fiction. Any names, places, and other identifying features are used in a fictional manner, for entertainment purposes only, and are in no way representative of actual events. This work may not be reproduced, copied, transmitted, or stored without expressed written permission by Erika B Michaels. All photos and images, mentioned songs or song titles are copyright their creators. 

The Difference is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.